Author's Note

Proofread by Show Stopper and Lotus Moon, go check them out, yeah?

So. First update on this story in 2 years.

Let's just get to the good news. There's another chapter after this that's been in the works arguably as long as this one - can't say I feel 100% confident in either still to be honest, but I hope you all enjoy this one and the next when I finally finish it.

I'll try and get it out quicker than I did this one.

Other stories are still being worked on, but currently this and Pale Eagle are my priority. Aside from that, I'm afraid I don't have any more news.

Hope you all enjoy.

29.06 - Week of The Intimate: Day 6

A Queen of Marble, standing tall and proud.

A King of Plaster, cracked and dried.

Rain poured, hard and loud.

The King crumbled, but he'd already died.

The Queen stood tall, but her marble lied.

The Rain poured, hard and loud.

My brows remained furrowed as I signed another financial document. Whilst the finances and other paperwork were a cause to stay focused, my mind kept wandering to yesterday’s conversation with Hamin.

There was a lot to unpack, based not only on what he said, but the implications. When he had fully broken down in my arms, he’d said a lot of things. Things that, honestly, made me worry for him, and especially for how he would even fare when he got back to his world.

And on that topic, now that I thought about it, his clothes and body were torn to absolute shit when I first saw him. I’d kinda not noticed at first, though I don’t know how. The glass shards in his clothes, the small scars on his face and more, the strange tears at the knees of his pants…

...just what had he gone through back in his world?

Then, of course, there was what he’d said when he was in my arms.

‘Not wanting to be alone, not wanting to lose anyone else, fear of never being good enough, fear of unintentionally hurting someone, obvious self-hate…’ I let out a sigh and leaned back in my chair for a moment.

“I’m not a doctor like Dad or Lam were, but,” I looked up to my ceiling. “That all sounds like abandonment issues, and possibly worse…” I looked out of my window. “...just how much pain has that guy gone through? And for how long? He said he was at least over 21, but…” I sighed, shook my head, and looked back to my paperwork. “Wish I could at least go and talk to him about it, try and repay his kindness.” I looked to the four stacks of said paperwork on either side of my desk. “I’m gonna be here a while, though.”

I couldn’t get my mind off what had happened. It was practically impossible. The very strange confusion really didn’t help. Why was it strange? Because despite my mind having been running as fast as the Roadrunner from Looney Tunes, I wasn’t openly panicking again or even really feeling like doing so. I just felt an...odd sense of calm. Like a literal calm in a storm.

And that’s where the confusion came in. It didn’t make sense to me that I wasn’t panicking again.

But...every time I thought back to how Lucette held me, listened to me, and comforted me, to how what she did just...soothed me so much, the calm just came back.

Hell, I’d even been smiling this whole time.

I hadn’t felt this way in...I wasn’t even sure. But it felt like a long time. And I knew it was a rare feeling. But whilst the confusion irritated me, I just...genuinely felt happy at the same time. Or maybe it was more excitement?

I shook my head as I stared out my chamber window. It was always hard to differentiate when I was in this state of mind. A frown briefly crossed my lips. Always hard to differentiate emotions in general, honestly, when these subjects come up. I shook my head. It might honestly be both happiness and excitement, for all I knew, regardless.

The weird thing about it was that I could swear there had been five times in my whole life I’d felt like this, felt this calm kind of happiness and excitement, not counting now. And yet, while I could remember the other two times, the third, fourth, and fifth just...felt hazy. I knew I’d felt the same feelings, on top of one of the two times in my whole life I actually truly believed I felt romantic feelings for another, but… I couldn’t remember who the third person was who had caused those feelings, nor the fourth or fifth, or even really the situation. It was disorienting to say the least, and certainly didn’t help with my confusion. All I remembered were names.

Yet despite all this, despite all my questions, I still felt happy somehow. I even felt like trying to explore the castle a bit, maybe see if I could help out somewhere, to at least try and pay Lucette back for the kindness she and Ventus showed yesterday.

Slowly, I got up from my seat at the windowsill, and moved to the exit of my room in the castle.

And for once, I was more certain than ever that I wasn’t even wearing a mask.

“Mmmm…” I scratched the top of my head, now sporting a bit of actual hair after the burn healed fully. Not even just fur, either. I had a full head of hair now, which Mommy said was because of the stuff they used to help my fur grow back and my scar heal up. It wasn’t white, but dark brown, though, which made me a bit sad. Still not sure what it was Mommy and Venty used, though. I only remember a bright blue light, and that was it.

Right now though I was wondering how to make one of those carrier ships Mommy had been talking about. I’d drawn up a design for one, but then I couldn’t figure out how the ‘carrieri’ part Mommy mentioned would even work.

Carriers were ships that had a lot of little ‘flight craft’ that it could hold and that one or two people could fly, and Mommy had been testing some ‘hang gliders’ for messengers and stuff, so I was trying to figure out how to make an actual carrier that could use all those.

I wasn’t sure what to do about the ‘hang gliders’ though when Venty explained them to me. We had some types that worked, but they didn’t go very far for very long without some wind to help them. The storms around here were all that helped. Then there was the fact that they didn’t have any weapons.

If the carrier couldn’t rely on it’s main mode of protection and attack, then it wasn’t a carrier. So I needed to figure out the details.

But when I looked down at the second design I drew for the hang glider, I didn’t know what to add for a weapon or a reliable way for it to fly farther and longer. Weapons weren’t really my, well, thing. That was Mommy’s thing. I liked fighting and I knew how to use some stuff, but, well… I didn’t really know all the fancy science and stuff behind ‘em.

From what Mommy told me, I was just a ‘naturel’.

I let a smile play on my muzzle at that thought and giggled. “I guess I was the one who came up with those new guns on Mommy’s capital ship. And most of the ship too, hehe…” I looked back to the design. “Still though…what kind of engine or weapon would work for something this small and light?”

“Oh, hey,” said a new voice. I shot up, eyes wide as I looked to the entrance and saw…was that…

“You’re…that new guy who’s trying to get with Mommy!” I snarled. “Sneaking up on me isn’t-”

“Nice? Smart?” The man shrugged, smiling. “Not really, no. Sorry.” He chuckled…nervously?

I blinked. He was throwing out all kinds of weird signals. I mean, Mommy was mad at him from what I heard from the servants, even if they were cozying up recently…

He walked over, inspecting my designs. “Jeezum, just as good as I thought.”

I felt my fur stand on end and swiped the papers from his sight. “What would you know?” I hissed.

He raised his hands in placation. “Sorry, didn’t mean any offense. They are good designs, honest.”

“Hmph. How would you know?” I turned away from him.

“I don’t, you’re right.” He paused briefly. “I’m not an expert on blueprinting and shipwrighting. But to me, they look amazing.”

I frowned, peeking at him. “...Why are you here?”

“Was wandering around to be honest.” He admitted, scratching his head. “Trying to find something to do or help out with.”

I snorted. “And what could you help out with?”

“Not much, but I want to at least try.” I blinked, turning my head to look at him.

“...You’re being serious.”

“Yeah.” He nodded, simply and…honestly. Just like my teachers were talking about.

“...fine.” Turning around fully, I walked up and offered the blueprint to him, trying to ignore the flush in my cheeks.

“Thanks,” was his reply, before he gently pushed it back towards me. “But like I said, I don’t know anything about actual design work. I’m more of a big picture guy.” He slowly sat down on the hard floor, gesturing to me. “Why don’t you tell me about it? I wanna know what you think.”

I blinked slowly and frowned a bit. This was not what I was expecting. I thought he would have given up, or tried to tell me what to do or what would be best, but…he didn’t. It was…different from Mommy that way. But in a good way.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was sitting down in front of him, telling him all about my design and my worries and problems with it.

“...so the frame is the heaviest part of the craft to allow them to withstand hits from common to rare grade magical weapons and similarly leveled magical attacks?”

I nodded. “Yeah! That’s why they’re made out of Stormwill!”

“Which can also be used for passive recharging of the engines if you can get the kinetic or magical energy transferred into electrical to then transfer it to the engines or engine,” he mused, looking at my design in a new light with his hand cupping his chin.

I gave a more enthusiastic nod. “Yeah!”

He stroked his chin a bit. “That’s pretty fuc-” stopping short, he continued, “pretty ingenious, Suki. Nice job.”

I beamed up at him. “Thanks, Mr. Hamin!” Looking back to the design, I felt myself pout. “But with how heavy Stormwill is, it’d take a lot to get them off the ground…”

He nodded. “Right. It’s at least heavier than iron is, and iron is heavy enough when made into something of that size.”

I nodded. “Exactly. I dunno what to do about it…” I could feel my ears droop at how I’d come so far only to fail again.

Mr. Hamin hummed. “And the other issue you’re having is the weapons, with the last issue being the engine itself, right?”

I gave another nod, tucking my tail in a bit.

“Hmm…well, in terms of weapons I’m not too sure, but in terms of engines I have an idea.” Looking up at him, I saw him smiling kindly, but reassuringly too. “To be more accurate though, you have an idea.” He pointed to the little scrawlings I made on the bit of the unfinished design for the engine. “An electric engine.”

I blinked, tilting my head. “But…how would that even work?”

“Let’s see, shall we?” Pulling a book from a holster at his hip - which was kinda nerdy - he flipped through it. “First though, Stormwill is actually a naturally forming supercapacitor, right?”

Blinking again, I nodded. “When it’s unrefined, yeah. Stays that way if you refine it right.” Or at least that’s what Mommy told me. It still kinda went over my head a bit.

“And you guys found a way to do so, right?” He flipped through more pages, brow furrowing.

I gave another nod. “Yeah. Mommy and Ventus rediscovered the old methods for it.”

“Do you know how?” He asked, stopping on one page and looking back to me.

I shook my head. “Venty tried to explain it but I didn’t really get it.”

He chewed his lip. “Mm. We’ll have to get specifics from them probably then, but,” he turned the book so it faced me, my eyes almost popping out at the schematics it had on the page.

“Woah…” I looked up at him. “I thought you said you didn’t know anything about this stuff!”

“I don’t. I didn’t write this book. It’s kind of just…magical, for lack of a better word. Fills itself in,” he replied.

“Cooool~” I breathed, tail swishing behind me. “Can I see?”

Squealing as he handed it to me, I drunk in the sight of the schematics. “Eeeheehee! Wait… Hm, it’s all in English?” I looked back to Mr. Hamin. “You really are from Mommy’s country then!”

“Did she introduce that here? Is that why there’s so many signs and posters with English and Skilin?”

I nodded, going back to scanning the design of the engines on the book. “Mhm! We’re, uh, multi-linguist now!”

“Huh. When did that happen?”

“It’s kinda been happening. Still is, I think. I don’t get to leave the castle too much, but we have some books that are still just all Skilin.” Shrugging, I flipped to the next page.

“Huh. Neat.”

The next page was a headache, though. “...Mmm? Mmm…” I looked up. “Mr. Hamin, what’s gasoline?”

Hamin rubbed the back of his neck. “Ehh…hm. You know coal?”

I rolled my eyes. “Duh. We use it for airship engines when we run out of magic stuff to do it.”

He nodded. “Right. Well, gasoline is made from oil, but specifically petroleum, which is like, uhhh...think of petroleum as like or similar to coal but liquid, and more viscous. Gasoline is made by refining that,” he explained.

“...huh.” I looked back to the book. “So…we just need to make watery coal, then?”

“Not exactly,” I looked back to find him waving a hand around. “Petroleum is like coal in that it’s formed from, well, dead things. Fossils and such.” Smiling, he continued. “But you’re going for an electric engine, right?”

I looked to my design, and back to the book. “Mmm… Yeah, but if this is what a regular jet engine looks like, I’m gonna need to redo my designs…”

He stood up. “How’s about I grab you the needed materials, then?”

“That…” I looked to my papers, measuring tools, and drawing tools. Most of the paper was gone, used up and thrown in a pile of old wadded up mistakes. The sketching stuff was kinda in need of replacing or sharpening too. “...that’d be a good idea.” I beamed up at him. “Thanks!”

“No problem.” He replied, beaming back.

I watched him go for a bit, thinking about how Mommy and him might get along. She was really angry at him before, but the maids were saying they seemed to be doing better recently. Still, though…was he good enough for her? He was really nice, but…

“Hey, wait!”

He stopped, turning back. “Hm?” Walking back over, he asked. “What’s up?”

“Do you like Mommy?” I asked, scanning his face for any mean or bad intentions.

But he just…stared. Went still and stiff, even a bit paler. Wait, was he…shaking?

“...I…think I do, yes.” Snapping out of it, I looked up to find him just…frowning, biting his lip or chewing his cheek, just constantly shifting expression. Was he that conflicted?

“You make it sound like you kinda don’t. Why?” Putting the book down, I turned to him fully, giving him a serious look I’d seen Mommy use a lot.

“...I don’t know.” His tone changed, but it sounded…panicked, and unsure. “She’s nice, pretty, smart, strong, sassy, firm when need be and motherly in other cases…but I don’t know.” He took a breath and shook his head. “I’m gonna go get those papers and stuff, a’ight? I need to think on this before I can give you a proper answer.”

I frowned, but nodded a bit. “Okay…but get back here soon or I’ll call a guard, got it?”

He chuckled and nodded, giving a mock salute. “You got it, kid.”

His chuckle didn’t sound right.

I don’t know.

It had hit me like I’d gotten slapped with an iron maiden and trapped inside.

I don’t know.

That was all that filled my head at this point as I walked down the halls, aimless as I was consumed by my own head. I could hear other voices yelling at me, trying to get through. I couldn’t make out what was said. My mind was filled with only a howling wind, and I sat in the eye of that hurricane.

Alone. Confused. Scared.

Traumatized.

And I remembered why even more now.

Lost friends. Lost brothers. Sisters. Uncles. Lost loves. Betrayal.

A hiss. A bite of the lip as the memories came back a second time.

Two who were like Lighthouses to me, helping me to find my path in the storm over and over. The ones who brought me here had coined that title for them; Lighthouse. I couldn’t refute it.

I just wished I realized that for most sailors, Lighthouses aren’t touched. They only guide to safe harbors.

And sometimes safe harbors can't be found after you find the first.

I could feel a tightness in both my temples easing off ever so slightly only to heat up when one of my ‘roommates’ spoke, rare as it was for them to do so.

“Still hate those bastards.” The voice wasn’t my own. It was warped. I didn’t disagree with the statement it made. They took them from me, after all. From everyone they cared for. "Those bastards playing for the throne of gods..."

I barely fought the urge that was given. Barely cared when I felt my nails dig into my skin, or my teeth gritting so hard that they creaked. I only stopped when I realized how the 'Lighthouses' would react if they saw me. I knew they wouldn’t want me to be angry, even if it was understandable.

The tension released in my hands, coming away as just more marks on my slowly scarring appendages. I looked only briefly at them in self-disappointment at how I couldn’t even follow-through with that. The tension hadn't left, though. Just transferred.

Shaking my head forcefully, I steadied my breathing away from the shallowness and desperation, and forced myself to remember the question. To think on it. To focus.

It took time. It always did.

It's why I was glad the hall was mostly empty right now.

When I’d collected my thoughts and my roommate had retreated, I was still confused.

I looked up at the ceiling, getting lost in the metallic mosaics, but more lost in my own head.

Lucette was beautiful. Sexy, alluring, strong, sassy, motherly, funny, smart… Everything I’d want in a woman. I felt comfortable around her, if anxious at times. But I just…wasn’t sure what to call what I felt for her besides care, or affection, or comfort. I could tell there was more, but I just… I wasn't sure if it was love. Not right now anyway.

Then I remembered what Ventus had said yesterday.

Ventus was intriguing, she was cute in a way, smart, funny…oddly motherly too, or maybe sisterly was the better term. I didn’t know. They both intrigued me. Shit, that sounded possessive, didn’t it?

Groaning and shaking my head a bit more forcefully, I put my thoughts back on course. And then derailed again. It wasn’t right to think of them as possessions. I knew that. So why did I use that kind of term? Did I already want th- Want to be with them?

…Maybe I am drawn to them, then.

I took a turn down a corridor as I pondered, noting how the guards were watching this corridor, yet oddly not the one I came from.

I didn’t bother them, just kept walking ahead, thinking.

...Was I drawn to them because they had kept me around even after my shit? Was I drawn to them because this was the safest place I felt like being? Or just because I wanted to repay them, to help them?

I didn’t know. The thought of being in love again scared me too. But...it excited me as well, which felt...odd?

More questions were raised and risen, but one question rose above them all.

“How do I tell them just how broken I am?” I glanced at the reflective surface of a well-polished shield hanging from a plaque. “How do I tell them anything when I don't even know myself?" I stopped in front of it, extending the glance to a mirrored stare.

"...How do I tell them that I'm a psychotic monster?"

The laughter of a madman echoed in my head as I forced myself to look away and move on.

It wasn't my voice. But I knew the madness was, even if split.

These were new feelings for me.

Not for my Guardian, obviously, but for me? A Ghost? You can bet they are as surely as you can bet a million Glimmer that the Traveler is a soccer ball. Seriously, I saw City kids do that a LOT.

But love was…new, to me. Or at least, love for someone other than my Guardian. And even that was gaining new nuances. Had been since L told me about her past.

This new guy, though… I don’t know. There was something about him. An earnest heat in his eyes, but sheltered in cold.

As me and L went through the halls of Castle Way Too Big, I wondered how this would even go. I wasn’t going to pull out - pun intended - but I didn’t know love. Maybe that was why I was excited.

I always liked learning new things, and love was…something I hadn’t gotten to learn, really.

Neither of us loved the guy yet. Or at least, I didn't think we did. The prospect of doing so got me excited, though. However, what really excited me, was the idea of finding out his real goals.

I let out a chirping giggle.

I looked to L. She was worried for him. Was trying to be earnest, to try and make this work. But she had her misgivings and worries still. I did too. It’s part of what made it exciting. I don’t think I loved him yet. But after the effort he’s put in to help us…it wouldn’t have been right to not at least return the favor. Keep him calm until we knew he was safe.

Issue was he didn’t talk to us much after yesterday. Not that it could really be blamed, though. He was in tears. And snot.

...I didn’t even get to ask what that weird magic he’d used was.

“You’re staring.” I blinked my optic.

“Oh. Oh!” Shaking myself, I let my segments shift to a tilt. “Is…that a problem though? I don’t remember it being one.”

“It is when I know you have something on your mind,” she returned.

“And you don’t have the same thing on yours? We are going to the same place after all.”

She faltered, then conceded. Heh, one more point to me. “...What do you think we should do?”

I paused at this. “Well, he’s helped us figure out your family is alive, their rough locations, he’s helped translate the tomes-”

“-that doesn’t mean we can trust him, though.” L interjected.

“...I thought you let go of that?”

She gave me a look. “Did you?” I faltered a bit, segments lowering. “Thought so.”

“...still, he has earned something, don’t you think?”

“...Yeah. But we have too. We deserve some answers. Especially with the commitment we’ve made,” she looked away at this. I couldn’t help the giggle I gave.

“You too, huh?” I teased.

“...Let’s just hurry to his room,” L managed, picking up her pace.

“That wasn’t a nooooooo~” I sing-songed as I did the same, floating after her.

It didn’t take long to reach his room, and even less to dismiss the guards. When we walked in, though, we didn’t see him anywhere. Not at his bed, his desk, we even checked his bathroom and found nothing but the usual amenities for VIPs.

“Ugh. Where could he have even fucking gone?” L groused from the side of his bed.

I didn’t have an answer to that myself, so I started searching drawers. “Huh?” First one I found had a small journal with a pen holding a page like a bookmark. The journal itself was made of the usual leathers you could find around here, which is to say, one of the only leathers that you could find in all of Durkz without getting arrested by literally any social justice worker; Kraken Hide.

Did the maids give this to him? Maybe he asked for it?

Whatever it was, didn't give any answers or clues when I scanned it.

Looking back to L, I asked, “Do you think this’d have anything?”

I flinched back at her look. “V. As curious as I am, I’m not going to rummage in his personal shit. He can tell me that stuff himself. Rummaging is for spies.”

“And if he's one?” I replied as I placed the tome back before flying over to her.

"Weren't you the one telling me to trust him?"

"I'm just curious," I replied, glancing back to the nightstand.

“You always have been. Moreso since I told you everything that happened to me.” She chuckled as I nuzzled her. “Aside from the gory bits.”

The shudder that passed through my frame only made her chuckle again. “Jerk. Not funny.”

“I know.” Was her simple response as she sighed.

We lapsed into silence for a bit after that.

“...Where do you think he went?” I asked eventually.

L kept silent a bit longer, then heaved a breath and stood up from his bed. “Let’s go find out. I’m betting the guards saw something.”

“...Why did we not do that sooner?”

“...Let’s just go ask.” She couldn’t hide that blush quick enough.

“Heh. Cute.”

“I will crush you.”

“Kinky~.”

“Guardsman. Have you seen our guest?” Fifth guard I’ve asked now. God, I’ve got too many corridors in this castle still. Note to self; learn how to Blink so the floors without transportation aren’t a bitch to get through.

“Where did he go?” V followed up as I was mid-thought.

The guard pointed down the hall. “He just came back to the Princess’ Training Hall not twenty minutes ago, Your Highness.”

I snapped my head to the doors directly at the end of the hall. “...Suki’s? Why?”

“You did tell him to help out where he could,” Ventus pointed out as she came to my ear.

“I didn’t think he’d actually do it and you know that!” I hissed back. Clearing my throat, I turned to the guardsman again. “Thank you, guardsman. As you were.”

A crisp salute was their reply as I made my way down the hall.

Why would he help Suki? What COULD he help her with? I swear, if he made her cry or hurt her-

“Good! Hahaha! Good one, kid!”

…That was his voice. And HE was the one in pain, based on the coughing I heard after.

What the fuck is going on in there?!?

Picking up my pace, I shoved the doors open to find…Suki was helping him to his feet. They were covered in sweat and mild bruises.

Hamin offered her a hand after he got up, and she gave him a high-five. “Told you, it’s all about prediction and practice.” He said, grinning like a fool.

“Helps that you're easy to read!” My baby girl shot back with her own grin. He laughed.

“Ha! Not wrong there!”

Good to see he knows his weaknesses- not the time brain!

“What the hell is going on here?” I demanded, glaring fiercely at Hamin.

“Uhhh,” he held up his hands, even flinched.

“What did you do to my daughter?” I hissed, eyes narrowing.

“He didn’t do nothing Mommy!” Suki defended, rushing over to me. “He’s actually been helping me lots!” She giggled. Giggled. “He’s pretty funny too!”

“Ehehe…” Nervous laughter emanated from him at that.

I looked back to my muffintop. “You sure, Suki? He didn’t do anything?” I gestured to the bruises she had. “Because those suggest otherwise.” Gave a fresh glare to the bastard for that one. Another flinch. Good.

“Mommy stop! He was just teaching me paw-to-paw!” My muffintop pressed, placing a paw on my side.

Snorting, I quirked a brow. “What could he teach you that I couldn’t?”

“I mean, you haven’t taught her any hand-to hand/paw-to-paw, L. You’ve literally been too busy to and focused on weapons more than anything,” Ventus pointed out.

“Whose side are you on?! Last I checked you were MY Ghost!” I snarled, whirling on Ventus.

“L.”

“Nng…” Gritting my teeth, I turned to the culprit. “You. Did you hurt my daughter? Did you manipulate her?”

He stared at me a moment, but spoke quickly.“No. I didn’t hurt her aside from some bruises during training. Tried to go easy but, well, she’s got her mother’s competitive streak." He rubbed the back of his head. " And as for manipulating her…no. Just...no.” I studied him a moment and tensed when he sighed and took a step forward. “I understand that you don’t trust me still. That none of you do. I won’t lie and say that I’m a good guy because I’m not. I’m not a good guy or a great guy. But I want to be, and all I want to do, all I’ve ever wanted to do, is to help people however I can.” He was shaking. Trembling. But what from?

I looked to Suki, and she nodded up at me. My lips turned into a frown as I thought long and hard. She didn’t look hurt, and she did seem to genuinely like him, even if somewhat. “...You don’t remember anything weird at all when he came in here?” I asked finally, glancing to the top of her head briefly, then her arms.

She shook her head, and I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding before looking to Hamin. “...Alright. I’ll believe you. But we’re talking more, and we’re doing it now.” I turned on my heel, marching out the door with a simple, “Come on.”

We walked the halls mostly in silence, a silence which was filled only with Ventus glaring at me and mine and his boots as we traversed the castle.

I wasn’t going to lie. I felt guilty and ashamed for reacting like I did when the evidence was clear as day that he hadn’t done anything wrong. Everything he’d done so far had been in an effort to help me, and while he was literally doing the stuff I suggested he do, the fact he did it still showed he wanted to help.

There was also how I knew my daughter and her instincts. Sure, most kids know when someone is bad; it’s the kernel of truth in that old saying. But Suki’s was unnaturally sharp. And if she trusted him after one visit from him, there was a good chance he was good.

I just wish Ventus would stop glaring at me and making my guilt worse.

I know he was just genuinely helping her, alright? Stop glaring at me!

Ignoring my inner cries, she continued glaring.

"I'm sorry." Two words from him broke me from my thoughts.

"What?" Ventus too, since we both stopped to turn and look at him.

He looked like some kind of kicked puppy, averting his gaze as he rubbed his neck.

"Why? You didn't do anything wrong," Ventus pointed out.

No kidding; that's what I should be doing!

"Nah, but I feel like I fucked up my...explanation? Apology? Sincerity?" He frowned then sighed and groaned as he rubbed his face. "Sorry."

"...you're doing the apology shit too much again." I said, sighing myself as tension slowly left my body. "But I see what you mean." I looked around. "This isn't the place for this kind of talk though. Come on."

He looked around himself as I made a half-turn to walk again. "Oh. Right. Guards."

They saluted. He chuckled. "G'day Ironmates." He saluted back sloppily.

"How can you joke at a time like this? With this atmosphere?" Ventus asked as we moved on, the guards not responding to his joke.

"I mean, it lightened things didn't it?" He replied, seeming hopeful.

"Yes and no. More like it's confusing," I stated.

A very brief pause followed and was soon broken.

"Soo, like this castle and it's corridors then?" He swept a hand out. "Seriously this feels like the actual labyrinth from Pan's Labyrinth."

"Pfft," I couldn't help my smile at that one.

"Hey, gotcha to laugh! Lookit that!" He crowed with an all too obvious grin.

I waved it off. "Fuck you."

"Ehhhmmn…" he stopped short at that.

Ventus giggled. "Damn, that blush though."

"Uh, uhm, so! We there yet? How much further?" He said hurriedly.

"That eager to get to our room?" Ventus teased.

"UUUUUUUHHHHHMM-"

"Ventus, please," I groaned, rubbing my face.

Bitch only giggled again. "Sorry L~" And sing-songed. Bitch.

Thankfully we did reach my room soon after that along with some awkward silence from Mr. Horny Teenager behind us.

Once the doors closed, I turned to face him. "Right, so, sorry about how I acted, I have some trauma attached to that kinda stuff that I am NOT gonna talk about, but it wasn't right of me to do that to you when you were just being honest and teaching my daughter. So I'm sorry."

He blinked and scratched his cheek. "Well, that was quick and forced." His eyes widened. "I mean like a bad pill, er, gum, er, uh, herb! Not that it was fake! Sorry!"

I sighed and groaned. "You're not wrong, so don't worry about it and shut up." Walking over to my desk and sitting down, I gestured to him. "Now, we have some questions."

He nodded, smiling for some reason, though it faded quick.

"Why are you still here? Why didn't you leave? And when we went camping, what was going on?" I gestured to him. "You said that day was about me, but when you do that shit you typically make a separate campsite from the other person, or at least a separate tent, or you arrange to get them time off to do the camping themself."

He rubbed the back of his neck with a nervous, pensive expression. "I...kinda realized that after saying that. Just...didn't want to suddenly whip around an' say 'hey, yeah, I'm dipping, you have fun though!'" He looked me in the eyes, briefly. "I'd already committed to the action, ya know? Wouldn'ta felt right to either of us if I just fucked off in the middle."

I paused, blinking at him. "...and it took you that long to realize that? When you'd had time in the shower and as you were packing to realize that?"

"That is kinda weird, dude," Ventus agreed.

He winced. "I'm kinda socially inept. Socially anxious too." Heaving a breath, he looked towards my bed, though it was more like he was looking past it. "As soon as expectations come into the picture I start to panic; don't matter if they're my own or not. If they affect someone else or their perception of me I panic and get anxious." He shrugged, turning his eyes back to us. "I just kinda learned to push myself. Not sure when, just...did."

"But pushing yourself exacerbates that anxiety," Ventus surmised.

He nodded, and a bit quickly. Eagerness?

"Exactly! I literally have to be in a certain mindset to push it away, and sudden interruptions or stressors make it worse!" He said with increasing...hope?

I shook my head, placing my hand firmly on my desk. "We're getting off topic. Why are you still here? Why haven't you left? Why do you want to help us?"

"..." he looked down at his feet, pensive all over again. Was it really that hard to answer?

I paused. Okay, I guess it was so I had no room to judge. Still, he thinks more deeply than I thought he would.

"...I don't know. I just...want to help." Clutching some object under his shirt, he continued. "I want to help, and I want to stay. To try and fix my mistake or make something out of it, but...I don't have anywhere to go, either."

It took a bit to bite back my own remark at his ‘mistake’ comment, but I did so all the same. It could be addressed later.

Raising a brow, I asked, "Not even your own Equestria?"

"You on the run or something back home?" Ventus queried.

His gaze deadened, but he chuckled all the same. "Don't have a home. Not anymore."

I blinked. "Oh." Licking my suddenly dry lips, I put my hands in my lap and looked to V. She shook herself slowly, then turned to Hamin. Bitch, leaving this on me.

"What ah, what happened?" I asked gently after a moment.

Or at least tried to.

The huff of laughter he shot out made it seem like I'd poked a bear with a stick in the gut to tickle it.

"Woke up from the Void after who-knows-how-long torture, got to scare some kids and Fluttershy and interrupt a school when I very much so didn't want to or have the desire to go back to ANY school," he slowly lowered himself to sit on the floor, gesturing to us for some reason as he continued, grunting like an old man as he sat.

"Got sent to Twily who had managed to become a super tyrant - like student like mentor; at least in some dimensions - 'cause she tried to mindrape me and look at my whole naked mental body, understandably got mad and scared and didn't want to be under her heel, hoof, whatever, and ran away." He started listing events off on his fingers.

"Maimed two guards on accident with a Blue Moon Greatsword that is apparently more powerful than the Moon Greatsword and can fucking talk, yaaaay by the way, ran through Canterlot like a fucking coward, collapsed under a bridge puking my guts out and having a LOOOOT of issues, got up, kept running, found a Skyrim Dragon, was forced to ride it back to Canterlot, ya know, where I was leaving, to save it from a Dragon's Dogma Dragon, got fucked hard by it's 'fuck you strength', broke my fucking legs, died, went to Heaven, woke up here AFTER Heaven put me to sleep." He looked up at me with the most broken, trauma ridden smile I'd seen since the camping trip.

Wait, THAT was why his clothes were so fucked up?! I thought he'd just been summoned in the middle of a fight or something!

While I wrestled with that, I noticed the rest of his expression.

His eyes held back tears so fiercely it was like they were some great treasure or great shame, and his body would shake uncontrollably before he seemed to force it into rigidity, then try to relax, and shake all over again.

He was conflicted to a T. Fighting himself.

No. He was EATING himself, at this point, holding all that in. There was obviously more he wanted to say, too.

But he'd answered the question, best to leave this subject for now.

"...Okay. Let's move on, then."

"Please," he agreed, chuckling shakily and sniffling despite the lack of tears.

I looked to Ventus, but she'd already zipped over to nuzzle the side of his face.

"H-heh, weird, tickles, but c-cute too," he said, chuckling more.

"Shut up and cry, idiot. We can continue after you're not freaking us out with how much you hold in," she told him. "Seriously, you're worrying us enough."

He laughed. Then bit his lip, which wobbled. Clutched his head as he took deep breaths while the first tears streamed down. V just settled on his head, rubbing her segments on him soothingly.

He kept laughing. And he kept crying. His face shifted from angry to happy to despondent and broken and then stayed there, like he'd made up his mind or something.

Slowly, I stood up and walked over myself, making to hug him, then settling for rubbing his shoulder. He all but launched himself into my torso, crying and weeping and sobbing like all the world had broken and shattered.

Funny thing was, I felt like for him, it really had. And I knew that feeling wasn't wrong. He'd lost his home, and what could have been a new one became hell instead.

Didn't I have a nervous breakdown after coming here at first? At the responsibility that had been put on me? The weight of expectation?

I didn't bother refuting those thoughts as I rubbed his back. I knew they were right.

The only difference was he had been making masks and walls to himself as well as others.

I tried to ignore the snot and, eugh, drool, he was leaving. I couldn't ignore how he pulled away swiftly, then pulled at his hair, pounding his head into the floor.

"Hamin?" Me and Ventus chorused, worried.

"E-reh?" He blinked, went coldly still as he sniffled and hiccuped back sobs, before shaking himself firmly as he sat back up, still suppressing sobs as he hurriedly wiped his eyes. "S-ssss-sorry, I just, um, I,"

"Are you that afraid of crying?" Ventus asked softly as she looked down at him. "'Cause you sure gave me a fright doing that with me on your head."

His eyes widened. "I..I, I um," Two more sniffles as he looked away, chuckling right as he held back a sob. "I uh, g-guess so, y-yeah, eheh.."

"Don't," she said.

I picked up what she was saying. "Don't fight that shit dumbass. You are literally driving yourself insane doing so."

Another chuckle. Sheepish. "Eh-eheh, I um, too late for that…" he wiped his face again, then took off his glasses to help as he sniffled more.

"...True." I sighed, scooting over to him. "Why don't you tell us more about that, then?" At his look, I added, "You got us all curious and worried with how much shit you seem to be carrying, and we wanna trust you, so least you could do is oblige." I shot back with a teasing smirk, trying to cheer him up a bit.

It seemed to work.

"Eh-heh, y-yeah, um, y-y-yeah, I guess you're right." He still looked hesitant, though. "You um, d-didn't I have to- er, um, didn't y-you have more questions though?"

I nodded, as did V.

"Yeah. That's why we're asking for more info. We wanna get to know you, dude. You already heard her spill her beans, after all," Ventus told him.

A pensive, hesitant look came to his face. He was scared, but wanted to open up. I could tell that much from how he rubbed his arm.

"I...okay," he finally acquiesced.

I nodded. "Good." Smiling, I stood up. "First though, I need to change my clothes."

He blinked, and his eyes widened with panic. "Oh shit, I dirtied them! I'm so sorry! Fuck, let me, um," he cupped his chin swiftly, taking on a look of intense thought.

"What?" I chortled. "You're not doing anything, dude. This is my problem; they're my clothes. You're not getting any peeks."

"I-I could at least compensate you for the inconvenience!" He offered.

"You're not getting a peek." I said firmly before shrugging. "I've got maids anyway, don't need to pay 'em personally, it comes out of the treasury."

He flushed. "I'm not trying to peek! Just, I want to fix my mistake!"

"Dude, you're fine, we can deal. We're the ones who want to comfort you after all," Ventus assured as she floated off his head. "Just try not to bang your head with me on it next time, yeah?"

He frowned, but nodded all the same. "Y-Yeah, I getcha. Um, sorry for that by the way."

"It's fine. Didn't hurt anyway," She reassured before she followed me to my walk-in closet.

As the door closed behind us, I followed after my Guardian deeper into the spacious walk-in closet.

“What do you think we should do?” I asked L as she moved down the lines of the clothes racks.

“I don’t know,” she hissed, rubbing the top of her head. “There’s so fucking much he’s got to say, and I’m still trying to figure out what part of marrying ME is a mistake!”

I winced at that. “Oof. Yeah, he screwed the pooch there. I mean, you, a mistake? That’s rich coming from him.”

She snorted as she stopped by a row of blouses and started looking through them. “No kidding.”

Floating over to her side, I added, “Which is why I think he meant something else.”

L shot me an intense questioning look. “Like fucking what?”

“Well, think about it. He was scared shitless about SOMETHING love related yesterday, and it obviously was tied to you, right?” Seeing her expression shift into something softer, I gave a giggle. “See? He’s nuts about you, but based on how he was saying he wanted to ‘fix his mistake’ he probably thinks he’s still fucked something up when it comes to you.” I gave her a nudge with my Shell. “Any ideas what that might be?” I asked sarcastically.

From the look on her face, she did. “...Christ.”

“And you never apologized for all that, either,” I pointed out. Oh, if I could smirk right now…

“What? Of course I did!” L shot back indignantly.

I sighed, shaking my Shell. “L, you told him a snippet of your life and admitted you were wrong but practically nothing else. The admission was kinda backhanded too.”

My Guardian blinked, before her eyes widened. “...Oh. Fuck.” She groaned, burying her head in one hand. “Fuck you’re right.”

“I tend to be.”

“Fuck off and fuck you.”

“Mm, nah.” Nudging her again, I asked, “So, wanna head out there and fix YOUR mistake, after we get your clothing situation fixed?”

“What about his psychosis?”

I shrugged my segments. “Eh, we can deal with that when we get there. Pretty sure he just needs a hand and a shoulder.”

“...how do you even know that? Why are you so casual about this?”

“I come from Sol, L. Shit was fucked there before I was born or made.”

She peeked a challenging eye out at me from her hand. “You don’t like gore.”

I shook my Shell in the affirmative. “Nope. Still don’t. But I’ve seen more Guardians and Cityfolk break than I care to remember.” Giving her a look of my own, I poured all my usual snark into my voice. “Besides, I’ve heard your life story. Doubt his is gonna be much worse in comparison, much less any harder to figure out.”

“God, you’re a know-it-all,” she snorted out. I saw the smile though.

“Best around,” I shot back. “Might as well call me your teacher. Oh wait! I AM your teacher!”

That got a genuine laugh out of her. Too bad I wasn’t kidding.

Not that it was actually bad, heheh.

I didn’t really know what to do. My mind kept shifting back to what they’d said, what they’d done…and what I’d done, and what I’d said. In the notebook of my heart, I wrote down all the things I’d said and done wrong.

I’d made the conversation about me.

I’d diverted their focus by being a wimp and gaslighting myself and thus them.

I’d worried them unnecessarily.

I’d shown how broken I am, how insane I am, how unstable and worthless and pointless to be around I really am.

‘You did~,’ a voice I knew all too well cooed in response. I clapped my hands over my ears at it, telling, screaming for it to shut up. The words never left my lips. They only increased the noise.

And through all of that was so many other voices fighting back. So many I wasn’t sure if any of them were mine, only that some were ones I knew. The pressure on my temples became like a migraine, and I swore I felt and heard it hiss as if it was a pot that was boiling over.

I started pacing as the voices began to come through more clearly.

“You’re fine, Nono! Calm down! They just want to understand you!”

“Calm the fuck down, kid! Giving me an aneurysm here! AND burns!”

“Young Champion, you are fine. Overreacting, but fine. Breathe, be still.”

“Shut up!” I hissed as quietly as I could, eyes flicking to where Lucette and Ventus had gone. “Shut up and I’ll be able to!” I continued with gritted teeth and pursed lips.

More voices. Too numerous to make out still, all ones I didn’t recognize yet felt familiar all the same.

Trying to breath barely worked; it just came out as slow, shallow rasps that quickened as laughter echoed in my mind along with the storm of voices.

Two other voices. Both I knew, but they felt so distant, like relatives I’d just met.

“Bearer, ease, ease, remember thy path, O’ bearer mine.”

“Master, we are here, calm, remember whom you are.”

Trying still to control my breathing and failing, I rasped out, “Blue…? Faith…?”

Images flashed in my mind. My blades back in my room, and two bright and shining women, Noella, Acies, Nyl, the Dragon’s laughter along with the madman’s as I clutched my necklace-

“Shut. Up.” I said, gritting my teeth. The voices faltered, and I stood straighter. I didn’t know where this came from. I only knew it shut them up, and that my hand felt warmer. “I’m not dealing with all of you right now. I told you to shut up, and you go and keep. Fucking. Talking. There’s too many of you for me to hear my fucking self, so shut up and let ME think.”

I hadn’t noticed that I’d paced over to Lucette’s mirror. Not until I saw the flash of three figures in it. One red, one pink, one gold and flaming. The pink one just nodded, smiled sadly, and disappeared. Red one just snorted and walked away. Gold one just smiled, nodded, and did the same.

The wave of…whatever that was, seemed to leave rather quick as I had to fight to stay standing, but…

“...at the fucking least that bullshit is over.” Frowning and wiping at my oddly slick brow, I blinked at the swathe of sweat that came off. “...What?” Another blink. “...Why the fuck is it so hot in here suddenly? And why are my Will Lines glowing so fucking much?”

They were fucking bright as a neon light! And since when in the hell were they so fucking blue?! I let my hand fall as I heaved a breath. “Ugh. I’m way too fucked in the head.”

A giggle in my head told me at least someone agreed.

I was halfway through rolling my eyes when Lucette and Ventus came back into the room.

I whirled around quickly. “Hey! What took you two so long?” Inside I was screaming at how insensitive, corny, and BAD that sounded.

So I just grinned through it.

“...What happened now?” Lucette said with a sigh.

I scratched my cheek sheepishly. “Um…” I looked back to the mirror. “Can we um…address that in a moment? I…don’t even really know myself.”

“Considering we brought you in here to ask questions and learn shit about you, no.” She and Ventus moved over to their bed, er, her bed, I guess, since I don’t think Ventus sleeps, but still.

I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly.

“So…what’s with the light show?” Ventus asked. “I mean, not that it isn’t kinda hot, but still.”

I blinked, and felt my cheeks heat up. “Oh shit! Um, eheh, I’m…a descendant of an Archon, so-”

“Archon? You mean like a Fallen priest?” Ventus was suddenly in my face. “You have eliksni blood?!”

“That would be…very interesting,” Lucette concurred. “But let’s let him finish, V.”

“Oh, heh, right, sorry,” Ventus thankfully gave me some distance, though not before I noticed she somehow smelled like fresh rain?

Weird, but also kind of alluring.

Getting my thoughts back on track, I continued where I left off. “Not exactly. An Archon in this case is a superhuman being from the Fable series. Masters of melee, ranged, and magical combat to the point they pretty much ruled the entire world at one point.” I tapped my Will Lines. “This is just tattoos that manifest…seemingly whenever I’m high in emotion, which apparently translates to magical power or mana or Willpower or what have you.” I scratched the back of my head again. “I don’t really know that much aside from the fact that the only Archon descendants known to have Will Lines were those descended from the First or those from more Will-focused Archons. Which admittedly makes no sense since I was Displaced, but yeah.”

Lucette blinked. “You really ramble don’t you.”

“It’s cute, huh?” Ventus said out of nowhere.

I could only nervously laugh and look away. “Ha, heh, uhm, thanks, I guess.”

“...Okay, I will admit that was cute.” Lucette added in.

“Eheheheh, um, right, thanks, so, uh, any other questions?” I hurriedly asked, trying to ignore the heat in my cheeks and how much they hurt.

Idly, I wondered why I wasn’t panicking, but that thought was pushed down and seemingly beat to death. Image and all.

Seeing them both giggle was not helping, but thankfully they moved on. “Right, fine. Seriously though, you need to learn to take compliments.” Lucette told me.

“I’ll take the mercy of them not being directed my way, I think, eheh. Dunno how to handle ‘em really if that wasn’t already obvious,” I admitted, scratching the side of my cheek.

“Almost painfully. But yeah, let’s move on,” Ventus cleared her non-existent throat. “Are these Will Lines actual tattoos that act as your focus or catalyst?”

I shrugged. “I don’t really know. All I do know is that I’ve never had tattoos before and when I came here, ‘i’m panicking, oh shit now I’m glowing!’ ya know?”

“You glow when you’re panicked?” Lucette queried, eyes wide. “That doesn’t seem very conducive to a fight.”

I could feel the color drain from my face at her response, but I doubled down all the same even as I looked away. “Yeah… Yeah, I do. High, er, highly emotional state, ya know?”

“Were you panicking earlier then? Again?” Ventus asked next, her optic looking concerned.

My gaze soon locked onto the armoire near the mirror, but it was unfocused. “...Yeah.”

“Why?” Lucette questioned.

“...” I could feel the tremors start, but the odd, infuriating, desperate and familiar desire to spit out what came to mind. What memories sprung forth. “...I…have social anxiety along with psychosis. Been pill-less for years, too, but…” I frowned, sighing as I suddenly started to feel the weight of the bags under my eyes, and an urge to yawn that was never strong enough to let it come out as anything but forced. “...don’t remember how many. Trying to remember is like looking at a storm of black and white scribbles and squiggles and white noise and it just…” I winced. “...It creates some pain in my temples slowly but steadily.”

“...You really are an amnesiac aren’t you?” Ventus said slowly, sadly. I hated it, but I craved it too. That understanding. I just couldn’t bring myself to look into her eye.

Lucette broke the brief but lead-dense silence. “...Do you even remember your family?”

“...” I smiled at that. I knew it was fake, and hollow. Or at least it felt that way to me. “...To a degree,” I said with a shaky breath I tried to steady. It didn’t work, and I knew it when I faced them. “I like to say I had two, honestly. My friends/nakama/nakamatic family, and my blood relatives.” I shook my head slowly. “But most of what I remember is early stuff. I just don’t know how early. Only that it feels early. Dates and times were always hard to keep track of, now…” I gave a huff of laughter. Rueful. “...might as well be impossible.”

I looked up at the ceiling above them. Above us. “...Names and faces. Voices, to an extent.” My smile grew, and I felt the waterworks just start to form. I shook my head gently to force them back. “...their smiles are what I remember and miss most. Whether it was in their voices or their faces, I miss them all dearly.”

“...Mind if hug you?” Lucette asked gently as she stood up.

I chuckled, feeling more water try and fill my eyes, so I closed them, kept my smile, and shook my head. “I’m too broken to care right now.” I clutched my arm. Didn’t know why. “Please.” Didn’t know why I said that either, or where it came from.

The fact they both came and embraced me in what ways they could, once again, set a warmth aflame in my chest and my face. There was more where they were embracing me. Didn’t know why. Only that I wanted to drink in as much of it as I could…

…but after I tightened it for what felt like a few long minutes and knew they’d tell me to let it out, I started to pull away, sniffling despite the tears not even being out yet. I took off the glasses they gave me and wiped them anyway.

“Uh,” a sniffle. “Heh, thanks, for that. I-I um, really needed that.”

“We can tell,” Ventus said softly.

“No shit Sherlock,” Lucette quipped, getting a small laugh out of me. The small genuine smile she gave…it made my chest feel light. I didn’t want to entertain why. Not now. Not yet.

Ventus jerked herself over to the bed. “Come on, crybaby, let’s go sit down, yeah?”

I chuckled, for once taking it in stride. It didn’t even register as an insult to me as I followed them to the bed. “Just no death by snu-snu, okay?” I joked back.

Ventus laughed uproariously. “Hah! Damn, is that how you bounce back so quick?!”

I chuckled again as I sat down slowly, looking to Lucette to see her with a small, seemingly uncomfortable smile. “Uh, heh, um, sorry, didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’ll uh, stop with those kinda jokes.”

Ventus shrugged her segments. “Eh, L’s just body-shy. Plus we are on her bed.”

Lucette groaned as she sat next to me, though a tad farther away. Not that I minded or didn’t understand.

“Let’s just move on,” as Ventus giggled, Lucette started to ask a load of questions, with Ventus joining in more than not too. It ranged from what that vocal magic I used was, (which I explained was a Dragon Shout) to what a Dragonborn was for Ventus’ reference, all the way to my weapons and other subjects I was also dreading.

“So, earlier you said you tried to fight a dragon from Dragon’s Dogma. What’s that game about?” Lucette queried, now holding a cup of coffee she’d gotten from the tray elevator that was in her room, apparently something she had for occasions where she did not want to leave her room.

Sipping a glass of ice cold water made from, according to Ventus, imported Kirin Ashen Jade, I drew out the sip for a few seconds before making my reply, but my eyes were focused solely on the glass as I did. “It’s an old game. I tried it once, didn’t like it, then tried it again years later and fell in love.” I gave a chuckle, memories filling my mind. I knew they were just me distracting myself from what had happened to myself. Sucks they didn’t fully work anyway. “You could think of it as like a mixture of Dark Souls, Monster Hunter, and some sort of Final Fantasy, not sure which.”

Taking another sip - the last in the glass I noted, - I continued. “The game starts with you literally getting your heart torn out and eaten by a parentheses Dragon, who curses you with agelessness and immunity to disease but leaves you alone otherwise. Entire goal is to kill it. Or at least it’s supposed to seem that way at the start.” I chuckled, turning the glass around in my hands now. “It’s called Dragon’s Dogma for a reason after all. Had to be a twist.”

At their silence, I knew they probably understood what happened.

Lucette’s question confirmed it. “So…you lost your heart?”

“...yeah. Still feel it kinda. In a phantom pain kinda way, but without the pain.”

“...and you said you went to Heaven?” Ventus asked next.

Their voices both sounded… I don’t know. Just sad, I guess. Worried, maybe. There were too many voices in my head to shut up.

My grip on the glass tightened a bit as I heard Lucette put her cup down. “...seemed to. Didn’t see God or Jesus or the pearly gates, though. Next thing I know I’m waking up in your streets, getting drenched instead of snowed on.”

“Snowed on?” they chorused.

“...Yeah.” I scratched one arm with the fingers I could spare to lift from the glass. “Could we move to another subject? Please?”

Lucette nodded slowly. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Thank you.” I paused a moment. “What about you two?” I looked to Lucette, then Ventus.

“Us?” they chorused.

“Yeah. What’s your two’s stories?” I said, nodding.

Lucette fixed me with a raised brow and an overall displeased or maybe unamused look. “You already know, don’t you?”

I winced. Okay, forgot that I wrote them for a moment there. Still though… as much as I furrowed my brow in thought, all I got was a growing headache and white noise as I tried to think about it. “Ugh…” Clasping a hand gently to my head, I let out a groan. “Yeah, no dice. Ugh, hate headaches…”

“He did say he didn’t know about your old friend,” Ventus pointed out.

“I mean, I remember Sally,” I weakly added.

Lucette sighed. “Right. Sorry, then.” Ventus cleared her ‘throat’, and Lucette grunted. “I know, V, I know.” Heaving a breath, Lucette fixed her gaze on me. I tried to avoid her eyes at first, to not be transfixed by their glow, but gave in when I realized not returning the gaze would just fuck me over.

And God damn were they gorgeous…

“I’m sorry I treated you like that the first few days. It was…overdramatic of me, and I should have tried to trust you more. I’m sorry,” she apologized, meeting my gaze still, as if daring me to look away.

I tried my best not to, but once I looked into them the first time, it wasn’t like it was hard to do so with how they drew you in.

“...Thank you,” I said eventually, rubbing the back of my head and finally averting my gaze, chest feeling lighter yet tighter than ever. “It means alot, but…it’s not like you didn’t have good reason.” I gave a chuckle. Still hollow. “I did still write terrible things into your life. Story or not, hobby or not, I’m not forgiving myself for that sin.”

“...Hamin,” Ventus began, floating over to the front of my face.

“Yeah?” I asked gently, smiling too easily. And got a zap for my trouble. “Gah!”

“Don’t do that. You’re ruining the point of the apology.”

I blinked, memories flashing into my head. “...Oh.”

“And you’re bringing us down.”

“...Oh.”

“Mhm.”

“...Thanks for that.”

“Anytime. Just ask.”

I chuckled. “Not sure I wanna ask to get zapped.” I looked to Lucette, who was smiling, but… I couldn’t tell the context of it. I dipped my head to her regardless. “Sorry. And…thank you.”

She waved it off. “It’s fine.” Grabbing her coffee and taking a long draught, she asked, “So you wanted our stories, right?”

I nodded, raising my head.

“Well,” she leaned back a little, crossing one leg over another. Her face shifted a bit. Still uncomfortable maybe? “What do you want to hear?”

“Anything you’re comfortable with,” I replied quickly. “Likes, dislikes, anecdotes, funny moments…”

She rolled her eyes, smiling. “Digging in that barrel, aren’t you?”

I chuckled, looking away. “You are really pretty, gorgeous really, and you interest me- aaaaaaaaaaaaaand I’m shutting up now!” I did just that, firmly clamping my lips closed as my cheeks fucking BURNED and my heart beat so hard and fast I shook a little. Gah and why did I fucking say ‘interest me’ like some fucking mob boss or villain looking at a product?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SOCIAL ANXIETYYYYY!!!

“Holy fuck that’s cute, L,” Ventus said out of nowhere.

I could HEAR the car crash in my head as my thoughts froze like the men marching through the Alps in the Punic Wars. …Bad analogy, brain.

“Oh my Traveler he’s still going,” Ventus giggled.

“Ehm, right, so!” Chuckling to hide my nervousness and knowing I was failing, I asked, “Likes? Dislikes? How do you fe-”

She was just staring at me with a raised brow. And her cheek resting on her hand. Aaaand an amused smile.

“..Uhm…Aroo?”

Both of them laughed at that. “Oh my God did you just make a damn puppy noise?!” Lucette cackled.

“Sh-Shut up!” Falling back on the bed and groaning as I covered my face, I was forced to listen to the torment that is others laughing at your speech impediment. Odd thing was I just felt embarrassed and not humiliated.

“I’m not even gonna deny it now; you are damn cute.” Lucette chuckled. I groaned again.

“Right?!” Ventus concurred like a harpy of lov-DON’T FINISH THAT! DO NOT FINISH THAT BRAIN!

‘Awww…but it’s such a cute analogy Nono!’

All but repeating that one ‘shush’ scene from a movie I barely remember the name of, I looked back up to find Lucette and Ventus just smiling at me.

“Please stop…m’ fucking heart can’t take it.” I covered my face again, but let one hand drop limply to the side. “Too many beautiful women and gorgeous eyes.” I felt like that accent I used was familiar, but trying to remember made the headache start, so I stopped quick. Hate headaches.

“Well, with all the flattery you’re giving, I’d say you’ve earned a reprieve from this lesson,” Ventus said imperially.

I rolled my eyes under my hand but couldn’t help my smile. “What are you, a teacher?”

“Damn straight.”

“Pfft.”

“Anyway,” Lucette started up again, holding back some remaining giggles. “If you want our story, then I’ll start small.”

I sighed but kept my smile. “Fair. Ya do gotta keep that advantage with your teasing.”

“Indeed I do.” Continuing, she recrossed her legs, briefly gaining a ponderous look. “Mm… How about a boot camp story?”

I grinned. “Fuck the hell yes.”

She chuckled. “People always say that.”

“Don’t downplay it, you know these kinds of stories are ballin’.” I shot back.

The snicker she gave could have lit up the room more than her Light, I swear. “‘Ballin’? What era did you even come from, dude?”

“1999 and proud the fuck of it,” I said, still grinning as I sat up, looking at her eagerly. “Now lay that story out, girl!”

That got a laugh from them both, which surprised me because when I looked back at it in my head it could be seen as an innuendo. But Lucette didn’t look uncomfortable with it anymore.

She was just looking at me like I was a dork. But I didn’t mind, oddly.

“R-Right, heh, well,” trying to stifle her giggles, Lucette cleared her throat. “So, you know my mom and my aunt, right?”

I nodded. “I remember a bit about ‘em, yeah.”

She nodded in return. “Well, when I was in boot camp, I got sent to Parris Island, like all female Marine recruits. My aunt was the CO in charge of the fort, but in her typical fashion, I didn’t get a special greeting when I came in.”

Tilting my head, I asked, “What did you get then?”

“Soon as I got settled in with the usual one sided yelling matches and all, I was pulled aside by my DI and given a coffee mug,” Lucette said, smiling like a devil.

“Coffee mug?” I queried, starting to grin again myself.

“She told me to head to the Brigadier General’s office, and to fill the mug however I could without getting caught,” her grin grew.

I blinked. “Why would being caught be an issue? Is coffee not allowed for recruits?”

Lucette shrugged. “Depends on where you go, but for me that wasn’t the issue. The issue was that it was lights out. If I got caught, I’d get one hell of a punishment.”

Covering my mouth from the laughter I was trying to hold in, I managed to get out, “Jeesh, you’re aunt’s sadistic!”

Ventus giggled. “She got to the office, but snagged other stuff to put in the coffee on the way.”

“And I took it all from the officer’s mess,” Lucette said smugly.

“HA! Bet they were pissed!” I laughed.

“Ohhh yeah.” The wide, reminiscent smile she wore felt so…fitting, for some reason. Like she was freeing herself talking about this. It made me happy that I’d asked something like this for once. “When I got into Aunt Lyn’s office,” she continued, “I found her just standing with a stopwatch in the middle of the room, and all she said when she saw me come in was, ‘Skull it down, then go back and make another for me. You were two seconds late.’”

“PFFFT!” I had to fight to keep my laughter fully controlled at this point. Shaking my head as I let out very (non) manly giggles, I replied, "That’s fucking hilarious!” Falling back on the bed again, I looked to her. “Your Aunt sounds fucking awesome, Lucette.”

“She really was,” was her reply. Uh oh. That sounded more morose.

“Is,” I corrected quickly, sitting up again. “She’s alive, Lucette.”

“I know.” She said simply. She didn’t look my way.

“L…” Ventus said worriedly.

I racked my brains for any ideas of how to turn the mood around at her tone. But everything I could think of sounded either patronizing to me or commanding. Neither would work, and I hated using that kind of language in the first place.

‘Young Champion, she is simply doubtful. Would you not be skeptical if someone told you one of your relatives was alive instead of dead?’

‘...Yeah. Yeah, fair.’

‘Be at ease. She still has hope.’

‘We both know hope needs more than just words.’

Slowly, and carefully, I came up closer to Lucette. “I’m here if you need to talk, you know.”

“Heh. That’s a first.” She shook her head. “Barely anyone around here most days I can just ‘talk’ to.”

“I offered as soon as I became your Ghost,” Ventus pointed out. “And I’m still here for you.”

“...Yeah.” Reaching up a fist, I saw her smile as Ventus bumped herself against it, like a makeshift fistbump. She looked to me. "Thanks. You're alright."

"Thank you. And sorry that I brought up something painful," I said rubbing the back of my head with shame.

She only rolled her eyes. "Shut up with that crap already. You're like a broken record."

"Start being a complete one," Ventus finished for her.

"...I'll...try." I said, uncertainty welling up in me. Self-esteem was never my strong suit.

'That is why you will fail.'

For once, that voice was easier to ignore, seeing Lucette's smile and Ventus' bright optic.

"You're eyes are unfocused. Something up?" Lucette asked.

"You're looking pensive," Ventus noted.

I winced, looking at my knees.

"And now you're moreso."

"Eheh…" I chuckled without mirth. I wasn't sure how to tell them. Back home it always scared me, telling others about the voices. I told very few because of it.

The memories of some were harder to recall. Caused some pain. But...I remembered the feelings. Small flashes came with them. My Dad. My sister.

An old brother.

The fear and anxiety from those moments came rushing back. I had to fight to keep from holding my head, to keep from shaking.

Ventus hovering into my view halted my thoughts.

"Oi. What's going on in that head of yours, Ham?" She pressed.

"I...I uhm...have…" I started. The urge to be honest came with. "I...have spirits in my head."

A blink of her optic.

"What?" Came Lucette's surprise.

The anxiety that came from that alone was like a spike of nitrogen to my veins, chilling from the inside as I shook again.

The urges that came became harder to fight.

"...that's why your scans were different!" Ventus crowed.

"Huh?" I blinked. That...wasn't what I expected to hear.

"You mean when you said he had something like the Dark and Light in him?" Lucette asked.

"Wh-whuh?" I looked between them both.

"Exactly! I scanned for the wrong shit! He had sterile neutrons instead of neutrinos in the air around him, but positive protons and electrons just kept counteracting like the Light would!" Ventus started to get more excited.

"Right, but what does that mean in terms of spirits?" Lucette asked.

"You know how magic around here manipulates electrons to manipulate other portions of atoms?" Ventus asked, segments whirring.

Lucette nodded. "Yeah, why?"

I was lost. So fucking lost. But I didn't want to interrupt or bother them.

They went on for a bit, talking about something they seemed to have talked about before. Honestly I was starting to lighten up again, seeing them talk so animatedly. Ventus kept whirring her segments too. It was cute honestly.

"...one particle or another, sometimes even quantum or subatomic! But the nuclei is always hidden!" Ventus finished proudly.

"Huh. Good to know," Lucette said, nodding. "Back on track though, what does that mean for him?"

"He radiates that shit, L! Like a fucking Devil Splicer Archon!" Ventus announced.

"...Shit."

"Um…" I started weakly, thinking the conversation was turning to me, but scared I was wrong.

"Right, sorry. You have spirits in your head, right? How many?" Lucette asked.

"Um...I…" I stopped short, right hand twitching, then left. "A...lot."

"That would explain why my Mark burns around you so much," Lucette mused, brow furrowing.

Seeing their silence, and wanting to give some kind of answer, something remotely solid in the rocky ship that was me, I added hastily, "Th-there's...f-four."

It wasn't untrue. But it also was at the same time.

I still hated it.

"Only four?" They chorused.

"I…" I looked away. Opened my mouth. Nothing came out. Not even a breath. I then realized I couldn't breathe in.

Then, darkness, and I was somewhere else.

Watching from somewhere else. Somewhere wet and warm but rocky and moving. Waves. Ocean sounds? Sunlight?

The weird 'viewports' above me let me hear a voice I'd normally hear in my head.

"There's waaaaaaay too many in him, that's for sure," I said.

Nono was a bit too scared about this. I mean yeah I understood but like, still, ya know? Boi got too much dump in his thinktruck.

Looking to the two hot/cute mommas in front of me/him/us, I giggled at their reactions. "Eheh, hiiii~. I'm Noella, Nono's lustful little Succubus. Well, Concubus really, but eh."

"...How the fuck do you get that range with his vocal chords? You sound exactly like a hooker from California, or those slutty anime girls!" Lucette said in shock.

"Aww," I giggled. "Cute~ Thanks for the compliment~."

"How many of you are in there with him?" Ventus asked, zippin' up to me. Eeee! So cute! Look at how excited she is! I wanna nuzzle her! I AM gonna nuzzle her!

"W-woah, hey, knock that off!" Ventus protested.

Pouting, I pulled my, er, his-our cheek away. "Awww...fine…"

"Eye color is different too. How?" Lucette wondered.

"Much as I love 20 Questions, Lucy, lemme answer the first, yeah?" Looking to Ventus, I cleared my throat, er, his, er, ah whatever. "I'm one of technically over 3,000. There's four of us that are more active, me being one of 'em, but the other 3,658 are normally locked muuuuuuch deeper."

Heheh! They got so quiet! Heheheh! He is pretty amazing~!

"That many…?" Lucette breathed.

I jerked, a certain rage flowing through. "Ohp! Nyl's wanting through! One sec!"

This was not what I expected. And it was...a bit creepy, not gonna lie. Seeing Hamin's body do that neck twitch and wince and go through an eye color change again made it worse.

But overall, I was more concerned about Hamin himself.

"Kid's a fuckin' dumbass," growled who I assumed was now 'Nil'. Sad name for a spirit. Or at least anime. His eyes, or Hamin's, or-whatever, were a deep purple.

"Why is that?" I asked, raising a brow. Granted, he wasn't wrong.

His voice sounded like a demon's, pure and simple. How Hamin's vocal chords handled this I do not know.

Nil snorted. "Because he listens and falls for my shitty progenitor's tricks and lies and traps like a dumbass."

"Your progenitor?" Ventus queried. "What's he called?"

"Friykte. Other names for him we have, and others people in the wide omni gave him. But what he's called don't matter. What does is he's a lying, conniving, thieving, prick," the sheer anger coming off of him felt like waves of actual heat, and the way those tattoos were glowing implied some magic was reacting to this guy's own emotions.

"Huh. How do you spell that?" Ventus continued unabated. I didn't know if she was trying to act tough, or was just too curious to care. I suspected both.

"Fuckin'...ugh," heaving an angry breath that sounded more like breathing actual steam, he seemed to mellow a bit. "F-R-I-Y-K-T-E. Short anagram. Can also mean friction. My name is with a Y and not an I. Got all that? Good. Now shut up and fuck off. I'm giving things back to the kid."

Well, he's a dick.

When Hamin twitched and opened his eyes again, they were back to their usual green and gold.

"Ugh…" groaning, he rubbed his neck, then his temple. "Hate that…" He had his voice. Good.

"Hamin. What the fuck was that?" I asked firmly.

He winced again. "I…" a breath. "...sorry I worried you."

"Those were your spirit buddies?" Ventus asked.

Crossing my arms, I gave him a look. "Last seemed like a dick." Softening my gaze at his wince, I asked, "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine!"

I blinked at his snappy reply.

He all but backpedaled at it. "I-I...sorry, I...I just…" he shut his eyes tight, looking away as he even clenched his lips, like he was trying to not bite them.

There was a brief silence before Ventus broke it.

"You care for them," She deduced, looking at him sadly.

He stiffened, but eventually nodded and relaxed a bit.

"Why?" I asked. It didn't make any sense. After what he said about that last girl, and how that last spirit acted, it just didn't add up.

...unless he was that scared of being alone. Just like he said that night. Fuck.

"Nyl is...Nyl's abrasive, b-but he's a good guy, ya know? Like, um, um…" he snapped his fingers, but hurriedly, panicked. "Like Red from That 70's Show, but really, really vengeful. L-Like, um, he thinks if someone wrongs me or others I care for, that that means they deserve to be treated like enemies in a crusade from the same, um, era."

Well that's telling.

"So he treats you well?" I pressed, but not too much or too hard.

He blinked. "I mean, y-yeah. He's rough, and prone to violence, but most he does with me is punch me if I'm being an idiot."

My gaze hardened. "Punch you?"

"How?" Ventus queried, voice going to a cold neutral.

"W-Well, I mean, he doesn't- uh, trying to find the right words, umm…" he was darting his eyes around. Was he being abused? Or something else?

"It's like those rough anime emo characters. The tsundere guys, ya know? Um, like, um, um, Guts, or uh, Garfiel from Re:Zero," he finally got out.

"Uh huh," I nodded. "Can you bring him back out?"

"I…" he looked...sad, now. No, not just sad. Defeated? Slowly, though, he nodded. "...yeah." He took a breath. "Just, um...don't freak out. It's...harder to pull them out by force."

Thankfully, only two twitches and Nyl was back out. "Whaddya want, bitch?" Nyl groused. "Because if you're not gonna trust the kid still after all the honesty he's fuckin' given ya, then shove it right in your fucking cooch."

My eye twitched as I swiftly pulled Crimson out of my holster and leveled it at his face. "Say that again?"

"L." Ventus reprimanded me.

"...fine," I relented, lowering Crimson. "Speak, then, asshole."

"Hmph. That anger certainly is hot, give ya that. But if you're wanting honesty? You already got it. I. Don't. Lie." He snarled, some flames actually issuing from Hamin's mouth as he spoke. The flames stopped, and Hamin's body relaxed a tad. "Prank? Sure. But I don't fucking lie. Hated seeing that enough with my progenitor."

His tone was angry. Nothing but. But he was right. I couldn't feel any dishonesty from him. A look to Ventus showed she didn't either when she shook her Shell.

"...fine then." I motioned for him to leave. "Bring Hamin back then. I'm done with you."

"Hmph. Could at least say 'please and thank you'. Damn ungrateful-" twitches, winces, and Hamin was back. "-augh, yeah," rubbing his neck, he groaned as he grit his teeth. "Mmg, not letting you finish that Nyl."

Pulling him in for a hug, I sighed. "You need to find him a fucking behavior management school, dude."

Hamin was limp in my arms, but chuckled all the same. I pulled him a tad tighter to me. "You okay?"

"...I just…" he yawned loudly. "Ah, um, shit, sorry, uhm," another yawn.

Sighing, I pulled back a bit, nodding my head to the bed. "Get in."

He stared at me with wide eyes. "I...wh-what? Are you sure?"

"Either get in now before I change my mind or sleep on the couch. Now make your choice," I said firmly.

"Heh. Like we're married already," Ventus teased.

That got a blush from him.

"I uhm, uhm, ah, I'll ah, g-get in then." Looking to the bed, he started to get in, then stopped. "Um, I um, are you sure?" He looked back to it. "I mean, I don't have any pajamas on me and-"

"Just get in, dude," I said, rolling my eyes and sighing. "Long as you don't get grabby without permission you're fine. Just clean your clothes when you get up." I gave him a look. "I may not do my own laundry here, but I am not sleeping with you in used clothes more than I have to."

He nodded swiftly. "R-right, um, thanks." A blink. "Er, thank you!"

Is he trying to sound more sincere? Yeesh, dude. Sighing again, I started to move for my closet again. "Just get in, Hamin. I'm going to go get ready."

"I call dibs on head!" Ventus chirped.

The fact he blushed more from that almost made me forget we were going to sleep together tonight.