The Equestrian Fuckboy

Anon felt a light, warm breeze caress his face as he opened his eyes.

Looking into the sky, he winced at the bright sun and turned away from it. His hands reached out to touch the ground, meeting blades of grass and loosened dirt. He was lying flat on the ground, surrounded by a peaceful environment. He sat up and took a glance at the setting before him.

“What the fuck? How the fuck?”

Right next to him was a full size basketball, an exact replica of the one at his local park. Come to think of it, he was at his neighborhood park. The playground, the court, the pool and the open shelter, it was all too familiar to him.

His only question, was how?

Anon stood up and stretched his arms. He was wearing a white tank top and black athletic shorts, as well as a pair of Nike running shoes, his typical attire for going to the park.

“Wait, could this be a…”

His voice trailed off as he lifted up his hand and stared at it. He then snapped his fingers, causing a basketball to appear out of thin air. Catching the falling item, he smiled with childish enthusiasm.

“No fucking way!”

He walked onto the court and started bouncing the ball. It had been a bit of time since he last dribbled a basketball, but he was still sharp as ever. Through his legs, behind his back, spin move into a snatch back; he still had it. He turned his attention to one of the two goals and looked at the rim and net.

“If I can make a ball appear, then maybe I can do this.”

Anon smiled big as he faced away from the goal and placed the ball into his left hand; his weak hand. He then launched the ball above his head and towards the goal. He spin around fast as he didn’t want to miss what he thought would happen next. And sure enough, it did.

With the signature splash noise, the ball went straight through the net without flaw. Certainly a one in a million shot. Or toss. Whichever makes more sense.

“Aw hell yea!”

He pumped his fist in triumph and began speaking once more.

“I haven’t had one of these dreams in forever! The type where you can control it. I forgot exactly what they’re called, though.”

“The correct term is lucid dreaming.”

Anon heard a voice arise from behind him, a voice which he swore he had heard before.

Could that be her?

He turned around to face the source of the voice. A few years away stood a tall, blue and purple alicorn mare. She had a mane that was starry like the night sky. It was flowing through the air as if the wind had caught it, but it was a day without breeze. She dawned a midnight black tiara, as well as necklace of the same color, with a crescent moon in the center. She also wore what appeared to be glass shoes. She was a good deal taller than Fluttershy, only a few inches shorter than Anon himself.

Princess Luna, holy fuck

Anon figured he should keep that thought to himself, for reasons previously mentioned. You know, the whole, “If-they-knew-that-I-knew-about-them-shit-would-hit-the-fan.” Yeah, that. Anyways.

“I was going along my usual business of checking ponies dreams when I came across a dream which was being dreamed by a creature that I had never seen before.”

She said dream three times

“Never seen a human before?”

Anon said to the princess with confidence, rewarding him with a chuckle from the royal.

“A hu- what?

“A human, that’s the species that I am.”

“I see. You speak to me like you have interacted with my kind before.”

“I have, a pony by the name of Fluttershy.”

Princess Luna was taken aback by this statement. She didn’t know why his dream was revealed to her, but it seemed that this human had come into contact with an element.

Interesting, he has met Kindness

“You have made contact with Fluttershy?”

“That is correct.”

“And how have you done this? Surely you are not native to this world, are you?”

“No Miss, I am not from here. You see I was minding my own business when suddenly I ended up here, for reasons I cannot explain. Fluttershy found me and took me under her, uh, wing I guess? So yes, I’m new in town.”

Vague as can be, but I’m sure she got the gist of it

“Hmm, this is very interesting. Well human, may I ask of your name?”

“Of course, your Highness. My name is Anonymous.”

“A plea-, how did you know that I am royalty?”

The princess had a legitimate look on confusion on her face, much to the amusement of Anon, as if the fact that she was a princess wasn’t obvious.

“Well, it isn’t too hard to figure, considering the tiara, necklace, slippers, and your, physique.

Anon finished off the sentence in a seductive tone, lifting his eyebrows in a subtle gesture. The Princess of the Night blushed ever so slightly as she turned her head to side. A piece of her hair fell over her face as she cast a cute gaze in the human’s direction. She gathered herself and turned back to him.

“Ahem, as I was saying, it is a pleasure to meet you Anonymous, my name is Princess Luna, co-ruler of Equestria.”

“Co-ruler?”

Anon knew about the pair of princesses, but he wanted to continue talking to her.

“Yes, my sister, Princess Celestia, and I rule Equestria side by side. She rules the day, I, the night.”

“Wait, you rule the night?”

“Yes.”

“That's pretty fucking sick, actually.”

Once again, Luna was dumbfounded after hearing what Anon had to say.

“What do you mean by that? ‘Pretty fucking sick’?”

“I’ve always liked the night more than the day. It’s awesome that you rule the night. Night is so interesting and mysterious.”

The alicorn mare smiled at this. Nobody had ever said something like that to her. She always had felt like she was in her sister’s shadow, like she was a sideshow almost. Receiving a compliment from this foreign creature gave her a feeling that she hadn’t experienced for sometime. Genuine happiness.

“Anonymous, that’s one of the nicest things someone has ever said to me. I wish to thank you for treating me with such pleasantries.”

“Don’t, your presence is enough thanks.”

Anon winked as he ended the sentence. She smiled warmly at him, and then looked around her at the surroundings.

“While I’d love to conversate with you further, I’m afraid that I have duties to fulfill.”

“Of course, you are a princess after all.”

“It was a pleasure, Anonymous. I will be sure to inform Princess Celestia of your arrival, as I’m sure she will have the utmost interest in a human. As for me, I hope that we may meet in the real world and get to know each other more.”

She gave him an almost lustful look, much to Anon’s surprise.

Warming up to me already, huh Princess?

“As do I, and also, please, call me Anon.”

“As you wish, Anon. Farewell.”

With that, she turned around and spread her wings. She cast the human one final glance, and thrust her wings down and back up, repeating the motion until she began to levitate off the ground. She flew further away from Anon, until she faded out of view; he assumed that was her leaving the dream.

“Well, I guess I'll shoot around till I get bored. I’m so gay.”

Anon laughed at his own comment as he shot the ball at the goal. And sure enough, he continued to do so until he got bored.

—————————————————————————————————————

Small rays of sunshine peeked through the blinds on the windows of Fluttershy’s bedroom, dimly lighting the surrounding area. It hadn’t been long since the sun had risen, but Anon’s body called for him to wake up. He slowly opened his eyes; they felt sore and weak in the light, but he got used to it.

He rolled over on his back and stared at the ceiling for a few moments. He thought to himself for a moment.

Wow, I really met Princess Luna last night, she was hot as fuck. Like Fluttershy was cute in her own way, but Luna was sexy, goddamn

He thought more about his dream for a minute. He soon decided enough was enough, and he prepared his body and his mind to get out of bed.

Might as well get this day started

Before he got up however, he was curious about Fluttershy. Was she still in bed with him? Had she left? If she was still there, was she asleep or awake? He had made sure to be quiet just in case she was still asleep. To answer these questions, he shifted his weight and turned over to her side of the bed.

The half of the bed that he was facing was empty, leaving nothing but the occasional pink strand of hair stuck to the bed. Anon sighed heavily in disappointment. He wanted to see her sleeping. Not because he was a creep, he thought that maybe she would look cute and peaceful when she slept.

Maybe next time, I’ll sleep here more than a few times in sure

He let out a muffled chuckle as he sat up and let his feet touch the ground off the side of the bed. He threw his upper body back and groaned aloud as he stretched his tense muscles.

As he resumed his normal body position, he bought his arms before his face and studied them briefly. His biceps were very toned and of fair muscle mass. The only thing that bothered him about his arms, or his body in general, is that it was free of ink. He had wanted to get tattooed, but he never had gotten the chance to.

Maybe there’s a tattoo shop in Ponyville, eh who knows, they don’t need tats, they have cutie marks!

He brushed that thought aside as it was irrelevant, and proceeded to stand up and make his way over to his shirt and hoodie, which were neatly laid on a chair, folded and all. He remembered tossing them on the floor the night before, not setting the, both out all neat.

She’s so kind

Anon thought to himself about the pegasus mare. She did all this for a strange creature she hasn’t known for even a day.

Surely she was the element of kindness.

He grabbed the shirt and slipped it on, and did the same with the hoodie. He also put on his socks and shoes. He looked down at his shoes as he finished tying them. They were your standard pair of black Vans. Nothing special about them, but they were his. And he had taken them everywhere. 16 states, 4 countries, countless bedrooms, and now, a new fucking universe.

Off the Wall for real

Jesus I’m a sellout

He was just getting ready to pick up his backpack when he smelled it. The delicious aroma filled the air of the bedroom and made this mouth nearly drip. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was, but now, it was the center of his attention. Anon quickly grabbed the bag, slung it over his back, and ran over to the stairs. He stopped himself before he began his way down.

Let me not run downstairs and make a scene

After that adult moment of his, Anon began walking calmly downstairs, preparing himself for what might happen next.

Once he reached the bottom floor, he was met by the gazes of two figures. A familiar yellow pegasus, who gave him a warm smile, and a purple unicorn, who donned the most wide-eyed look he had ever seen.

“Good morning Anon! Glad you’re awake, I was just finishing up breakfast.”

“Morning, Flutters, and yeah, that good ass smell was probably why I’m out of bed so early.”

The yellow mare gave a slight blush as she smiled.

“Oh, well, thank you, I've never been much of a cook.”

“Well it sure smells great, so I’m betting it’ll taste better!”

“Oh my, thank you Anon.”

She gave the human another cute smile before her expression changed, like she had remembered something.

“Oh, I forgot, Anon, this is my friend Twilight, she’s here to ask you some questions. She wanted to wake you up earlier, but I insisted that you’d be better off waking yourself up.”

“Good call, I’m not a morning person.”

Anon looked over at the unicorn, who was still studying him eagerly. She met his gaze and snapped out of her trance.

“Hello Anon, I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, and I want personally welcome you to Equestria.”

“Thank you Princess, the pleasure is all mine.”

He gave a little bow, either out of respect, or sarcasm, or both. Probably both. Either way, Twilight seemed to enjoy, snickering a bit at the gesture.

“If you don't mind, I’d like to ask you some questions, about you, your world, and whatever else is worth talking about. This won’t take very long.”

“No problem, Twilight. I don't have any plans.”

—————————————————————————————————————

That bitch is a damn lie

As it turns out, Twilight’s sessions of 20 Questions took longer than she said it would. By a few hours. In the time the purple mare had taken to interview Anon, he had eaten both breakfast and lunch.

Who knew salad could be so damn good

“Well Anon, I think that’s all for today. Thank you for your time!”

The unicorn smiled widely in appreciation. Anon gave one in return, then looked out the window. The sun still shown bright, but in a matter of hours the landscape would be dark again. He had just wasted half a day answering little questions from a princess.

Eh who cares, I expected this, nothing hurt

“Of course, Twilight, anytime.”

He said the last word with obvious sarcasm, which somehow seemed to glide over a beaming Twilight. The comment instead earned a laugh from Fluttershy, who had been observing the conversation whilst doing various chores around her cottage.

“Well, if you don’t mind Anon, I think I should introduce you to the rest of my friends.”

“Sure, I got time to kill. But one thing first.”

“Yes?”

“Can we head back to the Everfree and pick up my Jeep?”

Anon had told Twilight about how cars worked and that he had crashed a Jeep into the forest and got it stuck in mud.

“Of course, it’s just I’m not sure where it is, and you told me you didn’t remember the way, so we’d need a guide.”

Both Anon and Twilight turned to face Fluttershy in the same moment. She looked back and forth at both of them with a fearful look.

“Oh no, I am not going back there.” She muttered.

“Come on Flutters, this would really help me! All my shit is in there!”

“Please Fluttershy, Anon and I need your help. You’re the only pony who remembers the way there!”

“Well, I do remember it, but I don’t really wanna…”

“I'll show you a picture of my dog.”

“When do we leave?”

Anon had mentioned to Twilight during the interview that he owned a small white mug named Casper. The way he described him made Fluttershy really want to see him. He happened to have a framed picture of his dog back in the Jeep.

“Right now!” Twilight’s horn lit up as she yelled with excitement and opened the front door.

The two ponies made their way outside, with Anon right behind them. The unicorn shut the door and they faced the Everfree forest.

“We’ll start this way.”

Fluttershy pointed in the direction in which her and Anon had came from last night. The trio made their way into the forest, searching for Anon’s Jeep. Anon followed the two closely, but was in his own world of thought.

I still can't believe this is real man, my life is good

I think I still have some condoms in the back, eh, I’ll check when we’re there

Might need them for, an emergency

Or two.