Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie!
You must be wondering: “Oh no, I’ve stumbled on another stupid my little pony fanfiction by a stupid author featuring Pinkie Pie breaking the fourth wall!”
Well, you’re in luck. You know why? Because I’m not going to do that this time!
Wait.
Aw cupcakes on a pike, I already am. Oh well. To heck with it. Let’s jump right in!
So my friends were hosting some sort of party, right? Yeah, parties are awesome. That’s not the point I’m trying to make though. You see, this party was like no other party before it. This was the party to end all parties, and we named it “Memories At Four”, because we were putting all of our photographs and scrapbook things on four walls we’d set up in Fluttershy’s sanctuary.
Fantastic, am I right? It’s the greatest name ever! So here we were, having some fun in the sanctuary beside these four walls we’d made specifically for this party and we were just eating on a blanket with our picnic baskets. Lots of yummy wholesome foods like candy corn and blueberry muffins and chocolate chip cookies and strawberry ice-cream… mmm, strawberries…
Getting sidetracked, Pinkie! The power of sweets is too much, even for me! So back on track with the story, chop chop!
“You know, Pinkie, you really didn’t have to set up these walls… we could’ve just gotten some tables or something,” Fluttershy said, nibbling at her sandwich.
“And you didn’t have to do it on your own, either,” Applejack said, “We could’ve helped you with some of it.”
I shook my head and smiled. “No way I would let you help me with this. This is such an important party, and I wanted to make it special!”
“Pinkie Pie, just because you want to make it special, doesn’t mean you especially have to do it.” Twilight bit and chewed a piece of her own meal for a second before speaking again. “Though I have to wonder where you got all these mementos of us.”
“Is this a picture of me finishing first-place at my first derby?” Rainbow asked, frowning in a mixture of surprise and fear at a picture hanging on her portions of the walls. “How the hay did you get this? I thought I’d lost this?”
“Pinkie, dear, you could’ve asked me for help as well,” Rarity told me, “These design choices, the impurities and inconsistencies in the walls are breaking me on the inside.”
“Really?” I said, “Not the other way around?”
Rarity blinked. “How do you mean?”
“I mean you’re not breaking any walls, but the walls are breaking you. How does that make any logical sense?”
Flubbering, Rarity stammered. “Uh, Pinkie, I’m not talking about it in a literal sense. I’m talking about it in a metaphorical way.”
I rolled my eyes and flicked my hoof. “Pffft, that’s no fun way to live.”
So yeah, I don’t really like things that are boring. So what? I completely understood what Rarity was saying of course, I’m not stupid. It’s just that thinking this way is a million times more fun than whatever is going on in Rarity’s head. I mean, don’t you ever wonder what’s going inside somepony’s head…?
Yeah, no, we’re not going for that meme.
“Alright Pinkie, what do you call fun, then?” Applejack asked me.
Smiling, I brightened up. “Thanks for the question, Applejack, now I can give both you and the readers some context!”
“Wha-?” Applejack began to ask before I started rambling.
“Alright, so I was just reading something about stories, right? Well, all of a sudden, I see this word that just tells me everything I need to know, and I’m like, whoa! This is awesome!”
Looking up, I begin to think of the memory.
Looking down, I waved at future me and I smiled. Flicking a newspaper, I straighten it out and point out a word. “See this? It says FTP! And that means epic awesome story times and story prompts! After turning to page 16, I find out that I basically have a single day! A single day to do what exactly?”
“A day to plan a party and throw it!” I yelled, bursting out of a rock and doing a cartwheel into the field I would eventually have my party in. Giggling like a maniac, I fell to a stop and stared into the sky, looking at something that was more real than even me.
“But what’s this?” I said, “Holy mac and cheese maples! Fourth wall breaks inside fourth wall breaks! That’s like… 64 walls!” Smiling, I laughed and rolled on the grass. “And anotha one! Haha! Take that!”
Back to the present, I smiled even wider and grinned at Applejack. “That’s what fun is! Planning a party and acting it out! Heehee! And then seeing the faces on ponies when they’re happy! I love being positive! Woo! It’s just so fun to see smiles on ponies faces!”
I finished with a loud sigh looking into the unknown before seeing the unsure faces of my friends. My smile turned into a thoughtful pout. “Aw, come on girls, you know me.”
“Yes, we do,” Fluttershy whispered.
Grinning at Fluttershy, I nodded. “See? She gets it! It’s time to kickstart the real party!”
With a swift motion, I pulled my party cannon from a place even I don’t know and giggled. “Allons-y!”
To my surprise, in the split second I slammed my hoof on my fuse, Fluttershy was the one to shout. “Pinkie, no! You’ll startle all the animals-!”
KaBLAM!
“Boom goes the dynamite!” I shouted as streamers and confetti scattered the open space and party favours appeared on my friends’ heads. “Woohoo!” Setting up a table which I also summoned from elsewhere, I slammed a cake down with the words “Happy Four Walls Party!”
“So,” I smiled, “Who wants first slice?”
Fluttershy whimpered, and my friends began to look around at the rumbling noise that was shaking the ground.
“Uh, guys?” Rainbow asked, “Do you feel that? Because I can, and I’m not even touching the ground right now…”
“Sounds like…” Twilight murmured before widening her eyes. “No, it’s exactly what I think it is!”
“It’s a demogorgon!” I shrieked, pointing at the creature just as it completely demolished one of the walls. Shouting in shock, Fluttershy burst away while Rainbow flew up to it and kicked it.
“Pinkie, seriously!?” Twilight cried, pointing at the creature. “That isn’t a demogorgon, that’s a-”
But the cake I had made flew into her face at the exact moment. Standing there with cake slopping off her entire head, I tried to hold my breath. I failed.
“Bwahahahaha!” I cry, falling backwards and laughing.
“That’s it!” Twilight shouted before charging her horn and teleporting in front of the demogorgon. Charging her horn to full blast, she screamed and unleashed her magic, firing raw mana at the creature. It proved more versatile than it looked however, able to dodge the beam for the most part, it’s leg having caught some of the blast. Following the creatures path, Twilight carelessly incinerated another wall filled with memories.
“Aw man, and I wanted to look at that photo of Fluttershy’s bunny attacking her,” I frowned before dodging a claw swipe from the monster. Throwing my hoof into my mane, I stuck my tongue out and felt a light bulb flicker on above me. Smiling, I pulled out a firecracker. “Looks like you need something to brighten your day!” I shout and throw the firecracker into its mouth, attached to a leaking glow stick to boot!
It growled in anger before the firecracker exploded violently in its abdomen and it paused. Taking this as an opportunity, Applejack galloped forward and headbutted it, making it slam heavily into the wall behind it. Landing in front of the monster, both Twilight and Rainbow began to deal heavy blows to the creature in an attempt to subdue it, and the creature thrashed against the wall. Slamming repeatedly over and over into it, the wall began to crack at its base.
Finally, Applejack rushed to the other side while Twilight held it in place and kicked the wall. Surely enough, the wall began to crumble towards the side with the demogorgon on it before it squashed it completely.
Left panting, we the Mane Six stood in the ruins of the what remained of the Part of the Four Walls. Fluttershy was cowering behind a boulder several metres away and Rarity had summoned her fainting couch, passed out upon it. Miraculously, one last wall remained, and I smiled.
“Hey girls!” I yelled, appearing beside the wall. “The fourth wall is still intact!”
As I tapped it gently in a soothing and reassuring manner, it crumbled to nothing in an instant, leaving a plume of dust. Coughing and waving it away, I blinked.
“Nevermind.”
Author's Note
I'm so sorry.
