...But Can You Stick Your Dick In It?

Shining bolted away from his deep and actually quite disgusting and perverted sleep. He turned to his left, only to see the rest of the bed, which was quite empty, beside him. Unable to hold back a sigh of disappointment, he fell back onto his pillow, only to accidently smash the back of his head against the crystal headboard, sending him reeling off the bed and onto the floor.

Once the ringing stopped echoing inside of his head, he pulled himself straight up and wandered off to the bathroom. There was no way he was going to fall asleep at this point, and he figured a warm bath was a good replacement for the body heat his not present wife wasn’t giving him.

As the bath began to fill, and after dumping literally all the bubble bath chemicals he could find in the bathroom, he glanced back at the empty bedroom before his eyes rested over the crystal headboard his head has just previously hit.

And that’s when it hit him.

Throwing the psychotic crystal headboard off of him and out the window, that’s when it hit him: crystals. He hadn’t tried sticking his dick in crystals yet. He had tried to stick his dick in crystal ponies, yes, but not actual crystals.

I’m a genius, he thought to himself.

He creaked open his bedroom door, and after checking ahead of him, and to the left, then to the right, and seeing that the coast was clear in each direction, Shining finally opened his bedroom door, making sure to be quiet as possible. Which wasn’t very quiet, considering that the door and the hinges were made out of crystal, and that he had to bust open the lock to the door. What sound does creaky crystal hinges make anyways? Fuck if I know, just think something up on your own. You have a brain.

As for the lock — which was on the hallside of the door — ever since he started his attempts of sticking his dick into things, Cadance had become increasingly strict and restrictive of where Shining could go and when in fear of what her husband might do to the part of him that mattered.

And while that makes perfect sense and should be used as a time to muse over the mess one might've caused themselves, this is Shining we're talking about.

Stopping in the middle of the hallway and double-checking that the coast was clear, he sneakily trotted down the darkened hallway, with only the moon giving him any light. Probably not a good idea on his part, as his sight fucking sucked and he kept bumping into the walls and various decorium lying around the castle.

After possibly waking up the entire castle, he finally reached the staircase leading down into the depths of the castle. Still being near blind, and not thinking of lighting his horn, in case it might reveal his position, he stepped forward, only to trip on the first step and begin rolling down the entire flight of stairs.

Cadance felt a tremor. A very minor one, but it was there nonetheless. Barely stopping herself from leaping out of her seat, she began running the calculations in her head, and a smile quickly returned to her face. There’s no way Shining is going around doing something stupid. Even if he did, he’d just be destracted by the little rubber ducky I left him. Leaning back into her seat, she reached into her bag to grab...a rubber ducky.

“FUCK.”

With one last ‘OH FUCK MY FUCKING LEG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT FUCK OH THAT’S MY TENDIE’, Shining landed with a splat in the underground crystal cavern located about ten steps under the castle. Righting himself up, he went over to a random crystal and gave it a good look over. Feeling a drop of water on his nose, he looked up to see some water leaking through the floor.

He rested his head on his hoof and put on a thinking face. Was he forgetting something?

Returning his attention back to the crystal, he furiously beat his boypussy, letting it grow to full length before returning his attention to the crystal and thrusting forward.

Tink.

His area fit for erectile dysfunction only bounced off the crystal. Frowning, he tried to thrust forward again.

Tink.

No matter how much he tried, it seemed like his skin rod of baby making couldn’t penetrate the crystal. He sighed and shrugged.

“Well, seems like there’s always something between a rock and a hard place.”