“Hey Anon!” someone shouted. I opened my eyes, and jumped as I saw a pink half pony half human being inches from my face. Pinkie Pie.

“Gah! Jesus Pinkie! What do you want?!” I said, quickly sitting upright. Pinkie giggled.

“Silly! It’s your birthday tomorrow, and I need to know what you want!” she said. “Birthday” wasn’t actually correct. It was actually the anniversary of when I fell out of the sky, through the ceiling of a sweets shop called Sugarcube Corner. But, a birthday is a birthday.

I rubbed my eyes.

“Honestly Pinkie, I could'nt really care less. The only thing I don’t have is a girlfriend, and you can’t just buy one at a store.” I said, glancing at Pinkie’s shirt. It was only morning, and it was already covered with baking ingredients.

The beings of the land I found yourself in called themselves “Anthros”, and were in fact, quite attractive. Most of them sported hourglass figures that would have a human girl burning with jealousy. I quickly grew used to it, but it didn’t stop me from wanting a girl of your own.

Pinkie stood up, and thought.

“Well, you’ve got a point there. I’ve never seen a store that sold marefriends.” Suddenly, Pinkie’s eyes opened wide. “IHAVEANIDEA!” she screamed. I damn near fell of the edge of the bed. Even after being in Equestria for a year, I still hadn’t gotten used to Pinkie’s outbursts. Pinkie suddenly disappeared from the room, leaving me in silence.

“Jesus. It’s only morning, and she’s got enough energy to last a lifetime.” I said to myself. I stood up, and put on some clothes, designed by the great fashionista herself, Rarity. I walked downstairs, where Mrs. Cake was baking some goods to sell today.

“Ah! Finally up dearie? I suppose Pinkie can take responsibility for that?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. I laughed.

“That easy to tell, huh?” I said, yawning. Mrs. Cake chuckled.

“After having her live with us for all these moons, it’s gets easy to tell a few things.” she said.

I chuckled.

“I suppose so. She told me she had an idea for my arrival anniversary.” I informed Mrs. Cake. She shrugged.

“Well, I haven’t the faintest idea of what it could be. Pinkie always makes sure to keep her surprises secret until the right time. You’ll find out in time, I reckon.” she said, pulling a sheet of cookies out of the oven.

“I guess you’re right. I’m heading to work.” I said, walking out the door. I took a deep breath of fresh air, and looked around. I worked at the Ponyville Day Spa, owned by the twins, Lotus and Aloe. I was their handyman, fixing broken pipes, machines, and any other electrical stuff.

After a five minute walk, I strolled into the lobby of the Spa. Aloe smiled once she saw me.

“Anon! How are you today?” she asked, giving me a peck on both cheeks. I blushed. I still wasn’t used to the Spa twins typical greeting fashion.

“F-Fine Miss Aloe. I’m here reporting for duty.” I said, fidgeting. Aloe smiled.

“Oh, but Anon! Didn’t you hear? You have the day off. Pinkie Pie arranged for you to head out to Canterlot.” she said. I was beyond puzzled.

“What? Canterlot?” I asked. Aloe handed me a slip of paper.

“Oh dear, she must not have told you yet. Well, Pinkie Pie left a note with us to give to you, your train is heading out in half an hour. Don’t worry about work today, we all know it’s your special day. You better hurry, or you’ll miss your train.” Aloe said, gently shoving me out the door.

“B-But Miss Aloe!” I protested, but with a final shove, I was thrown outside, and Aloe closed the door behind me.

“Sheesh.” I muttered, looking at the paper in my hand. On the outside it said “Do Not Open Until In Canterlot! Happy Anniversary!” I shrugged, and made my way to the train station.

. . .

I sat in my train car, looking out the window as the train waited for the rest of the passengers to load. The Ponyville station was surprisingly busy for such an ambient, small town. The ticket pony said my ticket had already been paid for, so I just had to get on board. Suddenly, the train lurched forward, and I heard a yelp.

“EEP!” I found a sudden weight in my lap. I turned, and found a mare face down in my lap. She quickly picked herself up, and looked at me, blushing madly.

“I apologize Sir. I hadn’t found a seat yet, and when the train moved, I lost my balance!” she said. I smiled.

“It’s alright ma’am. No harm done.” The mare looked around, then back at me.

“I hate to ask you of this, but all of the other seats are taken. I don’t suppose I could sit next to you, could I?” I shrugged.

“Of course.” I said, moving my belongings out of the empty seat. The mare sat next to me. She was a mild bronze/orange, with poofy dark hair, and thick black eyelashes.

“I’m Saffron Masala.” she said, holding out her hand. I shook her hand, making a mental note of how soft it was.

“Anon.” I said. Saffron smiled.

“Um, I hate to be so rude, especially after you’ve been so kind, but you’re not a pony. What are you?” she asked. I laughed.

“It’s OK, really. You’re right, I’m a human. I’ve been in Equestria one year as of today.” I said. Saffron looked at me with interest.

“Wow. That’s very interesting.” she said.

“Yeah, well once Twilight informed me there was no way for me to get back to my own world, I kinda freaked. But after about a week, I got used to the idea, and tried to get a job. Of course, seeing as I had only been in town for about a week and a half at that point, nopony really trusted me, or even liked me, for that matter. But Lotus and Aloe became fond of me, and let me work for then. I’ve been working at the Spa almost every day since then.” I finished. Saffron smiled.

“It’s nice to know that there’s always somepony out there who tries to see the good in others.” she said, leaning back in her seat.

“What about you? What’s your story?” I asked. Saffron sighed.

“Well, my father and I own a small restaurant that wasn’t very popular until recently, thanks to Pinkie Pie and Miss Rarity. Now it’s booming with business, although tonight, it’s closed for a special guest. Pinkie Pie set up a plan for him to come this evening.” she said, looking nervous. I put my hand on her shoulder.

“I’m sure you’ll be fine. How demanding can one pony be?” I asked. Saffron looked at me coyly.

“I take it you’ve never been to Canterlot before.” she said. I shrugged.

“Like I said, I work most days, and I don’t really know my way around anywhere besides Ponyville.” I looked back out the window of the train, watching the grassy fields fly by.

After a ten minute ride, the train arrived in Canterlot Station. I bid Saffron adue, and headed into town. Once I arrived, I quickly realized that Canterlot was vastly different from Ponyville. It was much, MUCH larger, and the ponies acted like they were better than everyone else. They walked with their heads held high, and their noses pointed upwards. I didn’t like the vibe this place was giving off. I decided to pull out my note.

It read: “At Noon, follow these instructions.”

It was a list of street addresses, with directions on when to turn where. I looked at the tower clock. It was eleven fifteen, so I had roughly forty five minutes to kill.

I sat down on a bench, and began to wonder what Pinkie could have planned for me. Just as I was getting into the narrowing down process, someone screamed.

“HEY!!” I jerked upright, and looked around. I saw a blue Unicorn with a blue and white mane running towards me.

“Uh, can I help yOUUU!?” The blue Unicorn plowed into me in a bone crushing hug, forcing my head between her generously sized chest. Once she released me, she sat down next to me.

“Just who in the hell are you?” I asked, bewildered. The girl laughed.

“I’m Minuette, Lyra’s friend. She’s told me so much about you.” she said. I relaxed slightly.

Lyra was one of my best friends, and was fascinated with me when I first arrived in Equestria.

“Ah, I see. Pleased to meet you.” I said, holding out my hands. Minuette waggled her finger in front of me.

“Ah ah ah! This mare only accepts kisses and hugs from friends! And I’ve already given you a hug, so now...” she trailed off. My face grew hot. I looked over at the clock, which now read eleven thirty. When I looked back at Minuette, she was inches from my face, grinning.

“L-Listen Minuette, I-I don’t know how things work here, b-but...” I couldn’t finish my protest. Minuette closed the gap, and planted her lips on mine.

She wrapped an arm around me, and continued to violate my mouth. I put my hands on her, and gently pushed her back. She squeaked, then blushed, looking down at where my hands where. On her gracious bust. Fuck. I quickly retracted my hands.

“S-Shit! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to!” I said, quickly standing up from the bench. Minuette just smiled, and tugged me back onto the bench by my arm.

“Relax Anon. I didn’t mind.” she said, scooting closer to me. I had to fight every standard I had to protest.

“S-Seriously Minuette, I’ve got an appointment at Noon.” Minuette continued to get closer. “Whiiiiiich I should get going for!!” I said, leaping up, and briskly walking in a random direction.

“Call me! Or visit me at my house!” I heard her call behind me.

I decided that I was through waiting, and decided to start following the instructions on my note. After wandering a mindless maze of streets filled with prissy ponies, I found myself on a street of “Three Hoof” restaurants. And what was more ironic, is that they all looked exactly the same, inside and out. I glanced through a window of a few of them, and even the waiters looked the same, except for color differences. But my instructions told me to head down an alley, and find a Indian style eatery. I looked for a few minutes, then spotted the alley.

I walked up to the door and knocked. A somewhat familiar voice spoke from the other side.

“We’re closed today for a special guest!! Please come back tomorrow!” it said. I sighed.

“I’m the special guest sent from Pinkie Pie. I apologize for being a little early.” I replied. There was a clatter from inside, then the door flew open. Both me and the mare who opened the door were shocked. “Saffron?!” I asked.

“A-Anon!?”

Author's Note

I might have rushed this story a LITTLE bit at the end, because I was way past the deadline of publishing it, and got really tired of working on the same story. But, here it is! Look out for the next chapter, it gets steamy!