One way ticket

“How could I know that you would react differently to magic!” The lavender unicorn said in a slightly agitated tone. “I'm sorry about your shirt but I didn't know I swear, I only wanted to push you off my friend.”

“I know, and you don't need to apologize, I would have done a lot worse if someone were threatening the ones I love.” Twilight stopped and looked at you with a mixed look.

“I'm afraid to ask, but what would you do?” One of your unicorn companions took a small step away from you.

“Nothing pleasant I assure you.” The calmness of your tone echoed through the street sending shivers in to the two unicorns, stopping them dead in there tracks. “Don't worry, you're on my never ever hurt list.”

Twilight and Lyra visibly relaxed, but still they seem unsettled. You walked a bit before Twilight spoke up again.

“Look I'm sorry, I didn't mean it,” Twilight looked at you with a small guilt ridden smile, making you feel a little sorry for her.

“I'm not fishing for an apology, I was more looking for advice. I need a new shirt, The rest of the clothes I have, is not meant for this warm weather, nor is it very good casual wear.”

“Oh I know just the mare, you see Rarity, one of my best friends is a master seamstress...” And then the race was on. Twilights mouth hardly ever stopped as she told you about her friends in detail one by one.

As she jabbered on, your mind started the humongous task of processing what was happening. One of the reoccurring thought was “Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh this is so awesome!” and the other one was ''Oh dear god don't let me fuck this up''

Your brony excitement was doused by Lyra poking a hoof in your side. She was mockingly imitating the lavender chatterbox that was walking a few paces in front of you, to which you made a silent mock snore.

Lyra's response set you a little of blanc, she let out a short and utterly cute giggle. ''Did I just flirt with Lyra? NO! Not going there, not ever!'' Twilight turned to the two of you, luckily oblivions to your half hearted attempt of you being funny, and interrupted your slightly panicked internal dialogue.

“We're here, and it seems the girls are already here, good maybe I can get a proper interview now I have a few questions.” The two ponies prepossessed inside with no further thought, while you stopped a few steps from the door, pondering how to get yourself inside the huge tree that served as the town library.

The door reached up to your mid chest lengthwise, and was almost as wide as your shoulder span, but only just. You looked at your little problem wondering how best to get through the door, and if you'd actually fit inside the tree itself with out wrecking it. Your previous encounters with equestrian housing was crammed, panicked, and mildly destructive.

You weren't fat, here wasn’t a lot of execs lard on your body, you were just built like a compact bus and roughly 6'6 or so feet tall. Thou you might be slightly above average you weren't built like some kind of roid monster.

After a few seconds of trying to find a better way, you came to the conclusion that you just had to wing it and hope for the best.

You took a large step in to the doorway kinda sidestepping inside, you angled your upper body such that you could bend under the arc with out hitting your head, but I doing so you pressed your injured shoulder up against the door frame making you haste through the process.

As you felt you were clear enough from the door. You started to straighten your back hastily to get out of that doorway, unfortunately you only got half way before the sound of skull and wood colliding became audible. A literal avalanche of books and tomes came crashing down, and practically buried you.

“Richard! are you okay?” Twilight asked.

“Can you pleas explain to me the practical implications of having a bookshelf somewhere you can't reach it?” Came the annoyed and muffled response in a deadpan tone.

“Telekinesis,” She lifted a few books off your head with said ability, trying to hold back her laughter. You lifted your head off a book about pony anatomy and reproduction and turned your attention to the huge eyes of the lavender pony in front of you.

“Oh right, Telekinesis... interesting.” You said before slamming your face back in to the pile of books.

“Um... Alright, Richard these are my friends I told you about, Apple Jack.” Twilight gestured towards the orange farm pony.

“Howdy,” She said in that trademark southern voice with a tip of her hat.

“Rarity”

“Humph, what a ghastly colour.” Rarity remarked. Probably aimed towards the only part of your body not covered in different kinds of Equestrian literature, namely your legs sticking out of the pile of accumulated knowledge at a slightly odd angle.

“And this is... Um were did Pinkie Pie go?” And as if on cue the pike pony kinda just appeared at the foot of the pile of books, you knew this because you felt a shift in the fundamental laws of the universe, and the ''imminent doom'' felling, lit up like it was Chinese new year.

“Hi my name is Pinkie Pie! Who are you, wait! your Richard, Twilight just said so, you got a strange name. Are you new here? I haven't seen you before, that means you are new, cuz I know everypony in Ponyville, and that calls for a welcome party, do you like cupcakes?”

“Yes I'm new here... sorta, and no I don't like cupcakes.” You said as you started to rise from the books.

That seemed to put the pore pony in a state of paralysis in the mid of her trademark gasp. A small almost inaudible ''Eep'' seeped out of the pike pony, before she locked her eyes at you, got right up in your face and whispered.

“I'll be back, and when I am, you will like my cupcakes whether you like it or not.” Before she practically disappear in to thin air. There was a small silence with you frozen in place mid ascent.

“heh heh... Um, excuse her, she's just... Pinkie Pie,” Twilight said scratching the back of her neck.

“It's okay, I’ve been apart of worse” You got up to full length, and turned to the small pale yellow pony looking at you out from behind her pale pink mane. “And if I'm not mistaken you are Flutt-”

Clonk!

Probably the largest, heaviest bound tome came down square on your head. You didn't fall, you didn't yell out in pain hardly even flinched, you did absolutely nothing, even when the literary boulder fell of your head and on to your feet, you just froze. Your expression a dead and hollow gaze.

Along with you everything stopped, Fluttershy dipped behind her mane, Rainbow took a defensive stance in front of Fluttershy. Apple Jack lower herself slightly and sidestepped so she stood vertical to you. Lyra took a good few steps away from you, she had seen you like this before and, wanted put as much ground between her and you as possible. While Twilight took an unsure and very careful step towards you.

“Richard? Are you okay?”

“No, by any standard I'm not okay! I just got assaulted by a fucking library, after a whole day of dodging a rainbow coloured kamikaze. I got the unicorn that helped save me from the Everfree forest nearly killed! And upon entering this place I was attacked by a FUCKING MANTICORE!”

“What's with all the shouting?” A purple, scaly and relatively newly awoken baby dragon wobbled down the stairs.

“Not now spike!... crap” A realization dawn on you, Twilight hadn't mentioned spike at all during her speech about her friends, and now you fucked up royally.

“Who and what are you, and how do you know my name?”

“Yeah never mentioned Spike” Twilight said suspiciously.

You took a deep breath and let out a huge sigh of irritation, ''So much for trying not to mess shit up.'' You thought as you abandoned all hope of salvaging this.

“Well I was hoping to stave this off till I knew how to say this, but... where I'm from you are all works of fiction, you aren’t real, none of this should exist” by uttering those words you died a little inside. The whole room just looked at you whit blank and unbelieving expressions.

“How can you say that, when we very obviously do exist?” Twilight said still trying to wrap her head around what you said.

“You have no idea how much that hurt to say out loud. I can hardly believe it myself that I am standing in the same room as you six, the first thing I did when I realized where I was was to black out on the spot.”

“But HOW do you know us? You said fiction, like a book? Oh pleas don't say I'm in some tacky old book,”  Rainbow dash flew straight up to your face.

“Hey, what's wrong with books?” Rainbow didn't even bother to answer the lavender librarian.

“Clam down, you're not from any book. Um how to explain... lets see. You know a drawn comic strip, pictures and dialogue along side each other. It's kinda like that, but the pictures move like you would, and talk like you would, and this is displayed on a screen. That is how I know you, once a week there would be a new episode, showing some of you dealing with a problem of some kind, and reporting back to Celestia with a friendship report. So I know all the big events that happened in Ponyville since Twilight came here,...” Your face turned to a concerned frown and you rubbed your chin.

The rest of the room was looking to each other trying to decode what you said. Twilight seemed to be the one most flabbergasted off them all.

“Um... wah... eh... ho... how is this possible?” It took some time before you caught the question.

“To be completely honest, I Have no idea. If I were to guess your universe originates from our universe, HOW it was created is a different question. Or your universe have been bleeding in to ours, but that doesn't rely matter, I'll tell you what matters, not where I am but when,” You turned to Twilight, “When did you last see your brother?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“A lot, if I'm right,” You said simply.

“Well I haven't seen him since I moved from Canterlot I didn't realize how much I missed him.” She said as she started to remember back on times long passed.

“Okay, this can potentially turn out horribly wrong.”

The whole looked at you concerned and confused.To your surprise it wasn't Twilight that spoke, but Lyra.

“What are you talking about, what is the problem?”

“First rule of time travel, the doctor lies, second rule, no spoilers.”

There finally, took me forever but here it is in all its splendor.

EDIT I have a minecraft server in the making, check it out our preview server: talesofnorway.tk