One way ticket

“... let me get this right, the last letter that was sent to princes Celestia was about, Pinkie Pie discovering the many ways of expressing friendship?” You were rubbing your chin as you ransacked your memory to pinpoint your exact location.

“Yes that is correct... where is she anyway?” Twilight said from her spot on a small couch.

“Making me a cupcake I assume.” You said with a slight shiver, luckily non of them seemed to pick it up.

“An' this is relevant how exactly?” Applejack asked from her pillow across the floor.

“I figure what happened, doesn’t exactly classify as time travel, but still, I know where I am, but not when,” The whole room just looked at you with the same blank expression. “Yes I know the future, now lets see if you follow the same time line as the show, then the next thing that's going to happen is...” Your voice faded in to obscurity as you mumbled something about a minotaur and how far you could get before you messed something up.

“What was that hun? I couldn’t quite here that. I swear you mumble more than Fluttershy.” Said Rarity from her conferrable spot far off to the side of you. “No offense of course,” She turned to Fluttershy who was sitting the closest to you. You had no idea why, she had every right to afraid of you, but you weren’t complaining.

“Um look I don't want tell you directly, let's just say that what happens has to happen, and I don't want to mess anything up.”

“humf... at least Fluttershy has the decency to tell us what the problem is.” Rarity remarked sounding a little offended at your cryptic and confusing statements.

“No one should know there own future, it's bad enough that I know it.” You said clearly concerned with the way this is going.

“Look sugarcube we won’t press on the matter anymore if it makes ya feel unconformable, right girls.” Apple jack said.

“Humf speak for yourself, I'm asking whatever I want.” Attention was directed at Lyra who has been surprisingly quiet throughout the conversation.

“Heh, you're channeling a good human right there.” You say, amused by Lyra's brash tone.

“Thank you, how nice of you.”

“Don't take that as a compliment, humans aren't that great, believe me” It seemed like the whole room raised a brow at you. “I'll tell you later, I don't feel like traumatizing you anymore.”

A strained silence followed. ''Dammit Richard way to go''

“Um... so what next?” Twilight asked.

You took a quick moment to review and revise your plans, and try your hardest to not screw up more than you already have, but if you didn't know better karma has other ideas.

“Well first thing first I need to send a letter to princes Celestia...” Something clinked in your tired and over worked mind. You got up and walked over to the pile of books that had come crashing down on to your head, still talking. “Next would be to get over to Mlilly's house and gadder my stuff, and see if there is anything I can wear that won't boil me alive, unless fair miss Rarity is willing to make me a new shirt,” You picked up one of the books from the pile and started to cycle through the pages.

“Well of course darling, we can't have you looking like something the cat dragged out from the Everfree.” She giggled, obviously excited about making apparel for a bipedal creature, but there was a tiny tone of unwillingness, resentment perhaps? You couldn’t blame her.

“hmm... Well, in this case there was a pony who did all the dragging” The room went silent. “That reminds me, I should probably clean up the mess I made out there. Um Apple Jack, you got a shovel?” The room got a little tense as the ponies tried to imagine what you'd need a shovel for.

“Yea' back at the farm, what you need a shovel for?”

“I don't like digging holes with my hands.” You simply replied, shooting down AJ's curiosity.

You slapped shut the red, bound book, you had been flickering through, and discarded it back in to the pile of literature.

“Well, there might be a small problem, spoken language is remarkably similar, that is where the similarity end, I can hardly make heads or tails of your books.” Your eyes drifted to Spike and something pinged in your head. “Spike take a letter pleas.”

The baby dragon acted almost on instinct, he garbed a quill and parchment from the desk he was sitting by, and got ready to write.

“To Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Due to some unforeseen cosmic events, a stranger to thees lands have come, and I find myself stranded here. I request an audience with the seats of Canterlot to discus my unlikely return home. It might interest you to know I am no pony but a human, a race not of this world. I'm Currently located in Ponyville and your student is well aware of my presence. If my presence is of any inconvenience to you please don't stress on my behalf, I'm not going anywhere. Singed, Richard. Got that spike?” The room was filled by intense scribbling and a low mumbling as spike was writing down every word you said as fast as his little claws could muster.

“-Richard. Done! Wanna see it over?”

“Nah, I trust you, just send it.”

In response the purple dragon waddled over to a window and before you knew it the letter was disintegrated in a green flame and on its way to Canterlot.

“Thanks Spike.” You extend your hand down to the tiny dragon to give him a high five, and he complied, with a giant grin on his face.

“You know you're alright, but if you hurt my friends I'll burn you to a crisp.” Spike said with a clear sincerity, still a little unsure of you, not that you could hold that against him.

The baby dragon's excitement and weak attempt at a threat tugged a little at the corners of your mouth.

“I understand loud and clear.”

The room looked at you a bit unnerved. You suspected they actually took that threat seriously. ''How cute.'' You think quietly to yourself.

“What Next?” Twilight inquired, your headache is getting worse.

“Next? Clothes, Carousel Boutique, Rarity probably need some measurements to make clothes that actually fit me. Apple Jack can you come there with the shovel? I suspect I'll still be there by the time you get back.”

“Sure thing sugarcube.” A slight movement came from behind the yellow mares mane what ever she said AJ drowned it out completely.

“What did you say?” You said looking past Apple Jack to Fluttershy.

“Yea I'll deliv-”

“Sh! Fluttershy is trying to say something.” You realize how rude you were cutting her off like that, but ignoring Fluttershy is just as rude in your book.

You take a few step towards Fluttershy and kneel down to her level, all in a very fluid, calm, restrained motion. You brush her soft pink mane aside as gently as possible, the first thing you meet is her big, kind blue eyes. Everything mellows out, the tension is your shoulders you didn't realize you had disappeared, you could feel your pupils dilate, your heart slow and your breathing calmed till it was not even audible. Then she spoke, I don't need to tell you how soft and graceful she speaks, but I'm going to anyway. Her quiet gracious voice sounded like a low, soft autumn breeze running along the tips of yellow treetops, giving of a faint whisper. Her voice was little more than just that, a whisper but her message was crystal clear. To you anyway, you suspect non of the others picked up on it. You gave her a slight nod and a careful smile, and then turned to the stetson wearing equine.

“Thank you AJ but you don't need to make the trip to the farm and back, Fluttershy was so kind as to let me borrow her gardening tools, and she lives a good deal closer, so it will be of less inconvenience to you.”

“well that was mighty kind of her”

“And sorry about cutting you of like that.” You said with a sheepish smile.

“Ah shucks, don't worry about it.”

And with that everyone who didn't live at the library departed, going there separate ways, AJ to tend the farm, Fluttershy went home to dig out what tools she had, Rainbow dash flew off In to the clouds, you hoped she had gone home or planed on taking a nap, but somehow you felt you'd have to duck some more before the day was over. You, Rarity and Lyra walked to Carousel Boutique you'll be damned if you'll get that unicorn of your back.

On your walk to Carousel Boutique you did your best not to attract to much attention to the group, walking out to the side of buildings keeping in the shadows as best you could. But being the only two legged creature in the whole town kinda drags attention.

Fillies, colts, mares and stallions, stopped you asked you basic questions, like who and what you are if you like cake or pies, your favorite color and so forth. Some asked about your injuries and a few even commented on seeing you earlier that morning, your response to that was usually a blush and a few apologies.

But the random passersby was not that bad, it was more entertaining than anything seeing the children's faces when you told them you were an alien, or the scared stallion when you told them you eat meat. But by far the most headache inducing one of them all was Lyra, her constant rain of questions ranged from general anatomy, hands, feet internal organs, to mating rituals, social norms, and religion. And unlike the random ponies you got no reward from answering thees questions, no reaction just more question. Her willingness to learn and hellbent attitude was admirable, but your mood was rapidly descending to the pits of misery.

You got some shelter from Lyras hail of questions when Rarity asked what fashion preferences you had. Sleek, elegant and practical was your response you went in to some detail of how human clothes should cover the body and such, and that color wasn't that important.

At last you reached your destination Carousel Boutique, getting inside was a bit tricky but once there it got a bit more conferrable, the store itself had a pretty high roof, almost high ''nokk'' for you to stand fully upright.

“Okay darling stretch out your arms if you would,” Rarity flouted a measuring band over to you and started her work, examining you with a professional eye from top to toe. “Now if you would pleas take off your eh... pants, I can't get proper measurements with those baggy things on”

You hesitated a bit but you complied removing your green cargo pants. “Don't worry, you have nothing to hide from me, or half the town for that matter.” She giggled to herself.

A few degrading minutes later the measurement were taken and Rarity started her work on a new shirt for every day wear. And Lyra sat in a corner taking notes, you didn't need to look to know that she was drawing and writing, and to be frank you didn't want to.

A quick hour passed and Rarity emerged from her workshop with a light white slightly baggy button up shirt, perfect for the hot climate.

“Here you go, oh I do hope it fits.” The shirt fit you like a glove, even the texture of the textile was spot on.

“Rarity this is perfect, spot on. I am pretty sure I wouldn't get better craftsmanship back home. Um now there is this question about compensation, something I can't do at the moment,” You said rubbing your neck a bit uncertain.

“Oh don't worry about that, we'll figure something out. No go on, we all have things to do and they won't be done by standing here dwindling,” She said as she opened the door for you.

You said your farewells and squished out of the door. Now you weren’t entirely sure where Mlilly's house was in compression to the boutique, but you'd figure it out.

By now you had met most of Ponyville, some famous cotes and manes, and some not so famous ponies, but by far the most hilarious one must have been the Dude and the gang, sometimes the little things is all that counts.

After a few detours and a few minor problems, with Lyras help you got back to the path you first ran that day, and from there you backtracked to the small out of the way house at the edge of town. You knocked at the door and before you knew it the camo green pony with a fire read mane opened the door.

“Hello Milly how are you?”

“Hello Richard, I'm good, I was wondering when you'd come back,” She said with a gentle smile before turning to Lyra “And who is this?”

“Lyra Heartstrings lead researcher of humans in Equestria at your service.” She said with the biggest smile ever, one that could almost rival Pinkie Pie. You suspect it is becalms she could actually say that and have it mean something now.

“A pleasure, so you're the one in charge of keeping track of this big luge,” Milly said as she poked you square in the gut.

“Ow!” You exclaimed in response to the unexpected poke

“Oh shut it you big crybaby,” Lyra poked you in the back.

A heavy sigh filed the moment of silence before the girls started laughing hysterically, it took a second but in the end you joined them in the laugh.

“Heh, heh... come inside I was just making some lunch, for Alfred he hates hospital food,” She said as she proceeded inside the house.

Lyra followed just after, and you started the increasingly annoying task of getting inside. Once you got inside you took the time to look around. A smell of cleaning agent filled the room, the blood stain you though, ''Can't have red stains on the carpet''.

The rifle lay on the floor pretty much where you left it, a good thing to. You picked the 22. up and removed the clip, took out the empty cartage and pulled out the firing pin effectively making it useless. Just as you finished with the gun Milly and Lyra walked out of the kitchen with a few pieces of dinner pie, and she ducked behind the couch faster then fuck leaving a slightly confused Lyra in the open.

“Calm down it's harmless now, I disarmed it,” You said as you walked over to your bags that were set in the corner and placed the rifle in its holster.

“Are you sure,” She said unsure as she poked her head up from behind the couch.

“One hundred present.”

After that, you had a few slices of pie to satisfy your huger, explained the new shirt, to witch Milly just laughed. You got an update on Alfred the unicorn who got shot, he was doing good, so good in fact that he was coming home tomorrow. When Lyra heard about the whole ''gun'' thing she reacted rather... calmly. Her interest in human weapons got a bit out of hand, but you weren’t planing on letting anyone get there hoofs on that thing, so you outright refused to answer her questions. After a little while she gave up her quest to get all the answers out of you, and you decided it was time to move on. You had packed up and got directions to the clearing, you were about to say your fare wells to Milly, when she stopped you at the door.

“Wait where are you going to stay?” The question hadn't rely crossed your mind.

“Um... good question, I guess I'll camp out in the Everfree, I'm not staying to close to town, at least not jet.” Both Lyra and Milly raised a very concerned eyebrow.

“I don't think that is a good idea, do you have any idea how dangerous and scary that place is, especially at night.” Lyra added.

“Oh don't worry I don't think I won’t forget that,” You shrug your injured shoulder. “Don't worry I can take care of myself, and what ever saw my little struggle with that Manticore would know better than to bother me.” You said with a reassuring and slightly disturbing smile.

Sorry for being inactive for so long, I'm ashamed rely, i hope you can forgive me. I swear I will get better. thank you for being so patient.

Have a nice day