After all the calamity was over and the introductions thrown about, Celestia “ordered” everypony to join her at the castle. The ponies were all ecstatic, especially Rarity. She seemed to have a love for Canterlot.

“Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!”

It was apparent by her jumping around the room, combined with her constant affirmations.

“Alright Celestia, now how are we gonna do this? You gonna teleport us all there, or what?”

“Well Clean, I’m glad you asked. YOU will be staying here in Ponyville for tonight and for a day, then you will wall take the train the last day. I’ve got work to do, and I’m sure the castle has some work as well as preparations to do.”

“Now hol’ the fuck up,” I speak out “you expect me to stay in this little ponytown-”

“PonyVILLE!” Applejack corrects me.

“Same difference. You expect me to stay here?”

The princess gave a cheeky smile. “Why yes Clean, you are in need of a vacation after all. Plus, it would do you some good to take a break now that you’re free.”

“That's bullshit, but I’ll allow it.” I said squinting my eyes and pointing at her. “Don’t forget to apologize to Blueblood for me, I kinda had him fortify the castle and its citizens. Ya know, just in case.”

“Of course Clean, now, I believe you have a village to peruse.” Celestia said, waving me off with her hoof.

“Aye, I’ll do just that then.”

The small Luna looked between Celestia and I, then motioned her down to whisper in her ear.

After a brief bout of whispering, Celestia looks up and me and smiles.

“I’ll see what I can do. Goodbye girls!” She said, waving her wing at the six ponies and surround her and Luna in light.

“Bye Princess Celestia!” They all said together.

Luna’s ears pressed to her head again for the umpteenth time this night.

“Oi! Goodbye Luna, I’ll see you at the castle.”

Hearing me, she looked up and had a small smile.

“Goodbye Sir Knight. May we meet again.”

And she was teleported along with her sister to the caste.

“Well shit, guess I’m really stuck here now.”

“That's right Clean! You can stay in the library with me!” Twilight offered with Spike happily dancing in a circle behind her.

“Yeah, that's probably the best idea. I don’t know these others, and that pink one looks like she’s gonna gut me in my sleep.”

“Hey!” Twilight and Pinkie Pie said.

“You shouldn’t talk about my friend like that Clean, its mean!”

“Yeah! And the only things I gut are delicious cream treats!”

Staring down at the two, I rub my temples and let out a long sigh.

“This is gonna be a long night.”

-=- -=- -=-

“So, Ponyville huh?”

“Yup!” Applejack speaks up again. “It's a quaint village, and it's my home, so don’t go bad mouthing it.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve come to terms with this town by now. Still hate the name, it's so generic.”

“Well I think it's a nice name!” Rainbow Dash says, flying above me.

“Yeah, and you’ve got a generic name too. ‘Rainbow Dash’ known for rainbow hair and dashing about.”

“Hey! Don’t go making fun of my name or I’ll slug ya! You’re a janitor and your name is Clean!”

“Ladies, ladies, you’re both pretty, now can we make it back to town without a fight?”

“Yes moooom.” I say to her.

I take a minute to look around and our party. Twilight is taking up front, with me right behind her. Spike, of course, taking a well deserved nap in my arms.

Applejack is right behind us, with Rainbow Dash flying just above her. They were in a deep and thought provoking conversation.

“Yeah, well I know I’ll win the race!”

“Well I can win without having to use wings! Watch, I’ll do it with my wings tied behind my back!”

Yes, truly an intellectual conversation.

Rarity and Fluttershy following closely behind. Rarity was consoling Fluttershy as we traveled through the woods.

“Man, I used to go through these woods when I first got here, I ever tell you that story Twily?”

“Honestly Clean? I’ve heard so many stories that I can’t remember one apart from the other.”

“Perfect, you gals wanna hear a story?”

“Sure!”

I prepared a story for our walk through the forest, scrounging through my thoughts trying to remember anything interesting.

“This one time, with a manticore… wait, y’all wouldn’t like that one…” I say, stopping myself before I give these ponies more reasons to hate me.

“Alright, I got it! So, lemme tell you about the first time I ever set foot into this forest almost two centuries ago…”

-=- -=- -=-

The Princess of the Sun wanders through the woods, accompanied by the lost Human.

“So, about this castle, you’re sure it's not gonna cave in on us?” He asks.

With a nod of her head and a murmur of positivity the princess continues to tread down the slightly beaten path.

“Did I ever tell you that I’m not a fan or being crushed to death by debris? It's really not one of my fondest ways to die.”

“Mmm hmm,” she murmurs again, moving a tree that had fallen down out of their way.

“You know, I’d be more positive if you actually said something. I love crashing castles as much as the next guy, but I’ve already got the princess with me. And I’d prefer her NOT to be in another castle.”

“Clean, would you just be quiet? I’m trying to enjoy this ‘trip down memory lane’ as you call it.”

“Yeah yeah, damn horse wouldn’t get my jokes anyway.” The human mumbles dejectedly.

Passing through brush and briars, the two adventurers travel on and on.

Clean eventually became bored of the tiresome silence and began to humm to himself.

Celestia found it quite nice, and let him continue his antics. “That sounds nice Clean, what song is that?”

“Just some song from back home. Don’t worry about it.”

“Can you sing it?” Celestia asks, stopping in the middle of the path and turning around to him.

“Ehhh, I’m not sure. Ain’t a fan of singing, I was just hummin to myself.”

“Come now Clean, I’ve heard you sing before. Why not let out a couple lines?”

“Fucking hell, alright Princess you asked for it.”

The Princess turned around and continued down the path, with The Human lightly humming behind her.

As he continued, his humming became lounder, eventually turning into singing.

At one particular point, Clean began singing out loud, in a cheerful voice.

“And I say way-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day, and it's all your state of mind
At the end of the day, you've just got to say…”

Taking a deep breath, he lets out a heart tune.

“I say way-hey-hey, it's just an ordinary day and it's all your state of mind! At the end of the day, you've just got to say! it's all right! it's all right!”

-=- -=- -=-

“Wait, yer telling me that song’s been around that long?” Applejack asked, interrupting my story.

“It's actually been longer than that, I brought that song from my world.

“Horseapples! Mah family used to sing that song whenever we felt down!”

“Yup, probably taught your great grandpappie that song myself.” I said, shrugging her off. “So, mind if I continue the story?”

“Sure whatever…”

-=- -=- -=-

“What a nice voice, you really should sing more Clean.”

“Not happening. I hate singing, especially in public.”

“Awwww, I must be special to have you sing to me!” The Princess says, turning around to show a bright smile.

“You are special Tia, just don’t let it get to your head.”

The two continued their walk through the forest quietly. After an hour of walking, they both arrive at a large rope bridge.

“Oh fuck that. I ain’t playing this game Tia, fuck this, fuck that, and fuck you.”

“Come now Clean, there's no need for such profanities. It's just a rope bridge.”

The Human puts his his hands together. Both straight with his right fingertips against his left palm.

“Bitch hol’ up. I’ve seen the movies. You’ll say that, and as soon as I get halfway across, it’ll break.”

“Now Clean, you’re just being dramatic. Watch me.”

“Wait! Can’t you just teleport me across?”

The Princess looks back at the scared human, smirking.”

“Would a please help?”

She turned around and continued on her way.

“Oh come on!”

Celestia continued trotting across the bridge. As she got to the other side, she calls out. “See? Its fine!”

“Goddamn sun horse.” Clean angrily mumbles. “If this bridge breaks and I die, I will haunt you for the rest of your life! And if I don’t die, I’m gonna shove my size 14 steel toed boots right up your ass!”

“Lets hope you survive then!”

Stepping up to the bridge, he takes out his box of cigarettes and puts five in his mouth, lighting each one.

“Let's hope the cancer kills me before the fall does…”

Keeping firm eye contact with Celestia, in order to keep from looking down, he takes his first step onto the bridge, it begins to creak.

“Oh fuck.” He said, around the smokes, taking in a deep breath and blowing it out through his nose. The burn keeping him focused.

He takes two more steps, the creaking not ceasing.

“Psalms 23:4…”

Taking more steps, the bridge begins to sway to and fro.

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil…”

Step after step, he reaches the halfway point. Looking down, he sees through the boards nothing but a thick fog.

“For thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me!”

“Clean! Don’t look down silly, it’ll scare you.” Celestia calls out

“Oh thanks Tia, I didn’t think of that before. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN DON’T LOOK DOWN?!’”

Behind him, he hears the bridge creak and snap. Turning around, he sees that the rope has begun to fray.

He motions a cross upon his chest and recites “Non nobis, Domine, non nobis.” Letting the smokes in his mouth fall out.

And with that, he breaks into a breakneck sprint, wildly attempting to cross before he falls to his death.

“Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!”

And, anticlimactically, he reaches the other side of the bridge, stopping in front of Celestia.

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Clean wraps his arms around Celestia and hugs her deeply.

“Please, Celestia, just hug me.”

“Is my little human afraid of heights?”

“Yes, very.”

“Looks like the invincible Clean isn’t so invincible is he? What happened to the knight in shining armor that protected me from that evil king?”

“Creatures can be fought and killed, you can’t fight the laws of physics.” He says, letting go and taking a step back.

The Princess turn around again, motioning him to follow with her wings. “Lets go inside Clean, we can take a rest inside.”

“Sure thing Princess.” He says wiping himself off.

Only to be greeted with the sound of breaking rope. He looks down just in time to see he backed up back onto the bridge.

“Oh no.”

-=- -=- -=-

“Yay! We made it back to Ponyville!” Pinkie Pie interrupts.

“Shucks, that story was just getting good too.”

“Well jinkies gang, looks like storytime is over.” I say, taking a smoke out and lighting it. “Guess I’ll have to finish it some other time.”

A curious of dejected whines come from the group.

“I said I’d finish it another time, there's still the train ride to go. That shits gonna be boring as hell, might as well have something to look forward too.”

“He’s right you know, the train takes a very long time to reach Canterlot.” Fluttershy confirms.

“Look! Even little Butterscotch spoke up, thats special, figuring she hasn’t said more than a couple words so far.” I say pointing down at her

Fluttershy notices me pointing at her and lets out a ‘meep’ before attempting to hide behind her mane.

“Welp, nevermind then. So, Twilight, mind showing me the library you’re talking about. As much as I love this little guy, he’s grown quite a bit since I first saw him.”

“Of course Clean, follow me!” Twilight said, saying her goodbyes to her friends.

“Bye groupies, I’ll cya some other time.” I follow up, waving to them as I continue walking.

I keep walking towards the town, expecting Twilight to catch up. Spike was getting a bit heavy, but nothing I couldn’t handle after not showing the little guy much affection the past few years. It was still night, and would be for another couple of hours, so I decided to walk around town and see if anything has changed.

“Well damn, guess they’ve got a nice candy store now, wonder who runs it.” I say, looking through the windows to see rows upon rows of candies laid out.

I pass the store and keep walking. Seeing a tree in the distance. “If that's the Library, I’m going to blow my fucking brains out.”

I start walking towards it, but stop and see a shady looking place called ‘Paddy's Earish Pub’.
I stop and gawk at the sign. Taking in the horrible pun and the even worse bastardization of the word ‘Irish’.

“I feel like I should be angered. But I feel so dead right now, I honestly don't care enough.” I say, taking a mental note of the place to come back to later.

I continue my walk to the large tree only to have someone bump into to me.

“Oops!” Said the little filly who bumped into me. She was on the ground rubbing her head.

“Oh, you gotta watch out there lil’ one! It's not safe to be walking around town at night.” I say, leaning down to let her grab my hand. Noticing her nice grey purple coat and two toned yellow mane.

“Thanks mister, sorry about that.” She said, taking my hand with her hoof and getting up. “Oh wow! You’re tall!”

“Yeah, you’re right. It's pretty nice bein this tall. Tell me little one, what are you doing out this late?”

“I was just… running errands! Yeah, just doing errands!”

“Alright, I’ve dealt with fillies before, you’re definentally lying.”

She lets out a small ‘eep’, blushes, and looks down around. “I-Im not lying.”

“Suuuure little one. Anyway, what's your errands? I don’t mind helping you out.”

“Uhhhhhhh…”

“Dinky! Where are you!” A mare calls out.

“Sorry mister, I gotta go! Sorry!” She said, quickly bolting away.

I watch her run away and turn a corner going towards the voice.

“Well shit, guess I didn’t have to help the kid home anyway. Good enough for me.”

“That entire conversation was too loud. Lets just go to the Library.” Spike says, pushing his face into my elbow to warm up.

“Sure, sure. Its the giant tree isn’t it?”

He lets out a muffled ‘yup’ and wraps his tail around his body.

“For fuck sake. Of course it is… I’ll get you home Spike, I could do with a drink and some food already.” I say, taking one last smoke out and lighting it up.

“Maybe find Twilight too, I kinda left her behind."

Author's Note

For the people who want the song: Great Big Sea - Ordinary Day

Thank Insidiaphilia for the new chapter. I planned on starting another story before I realized how stupid of an idea that would be. I'm gonna try and pump these chapters out like I used to.

Side note, thanks for still sticking around this long.