Four - Share a drink

“Knock knock mate, open the door.”

-silence-

“Oh, yeah. No ones home.”

With a turn of a knob and crouch to go through the door the human and dragon entered the homely little library.

“You know, this tree used to be a nice house. Had a swingset outside for the foals. Wonder what happened to that couple.”

“Mmm hmm.” Spike mumbled.

“Yeah, I know you’ve no interest in that shite. Lets get you to bed. Upstairs?”

“Mmmm”

“Gotcha.

Climbing up the staircase to the second floor, I found a set of doors. Randomly opening one led me to the bathroom, the next an empty room, then another empty room. Then finally, I found the room that Spike and Twilight must live in. It was fairly large, with a big loft. Climbing up another set of stair, I saw two beds.

“Wait, you still sleep in a cat bed?”

“Don’t judge me old man, you slept on the floor when you were watching over Twilight.”

“Ayyy, fair enough little buddy. Lets get you settled then.”

Lifting up the blankets, I gently set down my lizardy companion. Tucking him in nice and tight, I made sure he was comfy.

“All good Spike?”

“Yup, thanks Clean.”

“Sure thing little dude.”

With Spike set, I headed down to the first floor.

“Now where the hell did Twilight run off to…”

I sat down on a quite comfy looking armchair to wait. And then I waited.

And waited.

And continued to wait.

“By the nine, where the hell did that purple beast go off to?”

And I waited a bit more, just in case.

“Ah fuck it, my tummys makin the rumblies. And I appear to be out of hands.” I said, getting up and looking around for a kitchen.

“Its gotta be around here, just gotta do a wee bit of searchin.”

The lack of rooms on the first floor helped quicken the travel. The first door led to a closet, while the second led to the room in question. Crouching through the door I got a good look at the quaint little cottage kitchen.

The shelves barely got up to my shoulders, and the fridge was the same. So I began to make myself at home.

“Snickety snack, gotta eat and get fat. Snickety dee, this shits for me. Now lets see what shes got in here…”

The fridge opened wide, a cloud of cold mist filling the room, leaving an unnatural chill to roll up my spine. I reached inside, hand firmly grasping around a pile of celery stalks. Throwing them onto the table, I rummaged around more, finding nothing but bags of vegetables.

“I have kept myself in that cell for years. My first damn meal will not, I say WILL NOT, be vegetables.”

Leaving the borderline empty kitchen, I returned to the main foyer of the library, looking for a sheet of paper and quill. Writing a quick note, I left the paper on a nearby table and headed out the front door.

Dear Twilight,

Fuck your kitchen.

Love,

Mr.Clean the Magic Eraser

-=- -=- -=-

“If’n I don’t find a good place to eat, I’m walking to the forest and hunting something.”

The town was most certainly empty at this time of night. The occasional house had a light on, while the rest were completely dark.

‘Guess they’re all preparing for the Summer Solstice tomorrow. It is called the Summer Solstice, right? Actually, don’t care enough.’

While the town was empty, I knew of one place that wouldn’t be. Taking my mental note and crumpling up, I traced my steps back to the local bar.

“Paddy's Earish Pub…” Heading up to the door, there was another smaller sign. “‘Its always dark in Ponyville’ oh fuck off.”

Pushing the door open the sound of an ill-tuned radio filled the silent night. The static already grating on my nerves.

“Heya stranger! Welcome to Paddy’s Pub!”

The inside of the pub was rather bland. Styloid neon lights of clovers and some branded drinks covered the walls. The left side of the pub held a bar with row upon row of drinks behind it while the right side had booths with a table between each seat.

“Howdy,” I said, walking up to the bar and taking a stool, “Got any specials tonight?”

“Yes! We got some specials for the Solstice, every heard of a margarita?”

“You know what, lets start with the margarita, been a while since I had one of those.”

“Alright sir! Coming right up.”

As he started to prepare my drink, I got a good look at him. He was clearly an older stallion. His hair was mostly missing from the top of his head leaving him with a bald top with a wiry mess of a “Power Donut.”

I sat there for a while, mulling over what his name could be. If it was Danny, I would scream.

When he returned he plopped the drink down.

“So, what brings you here this late at night?”

I started to sip on the drink, noticing it was quite watered down. “Well, I was free and decided a drink would be in order, do I need another reason?”

The stallion laughed at that. “Ah, nah. Thats good enough for me.”

I gingerly sipped on my drink savoring the very, very light taste of alcohol.

We sat in silence for a while, with him staring at me the entire time.

“Go ahead and say it, I know you wanna ask something.”

“Thank Celestia, I was worried it would be rude to ask… Are you Mr. Clean?”

I finished off the drink, stood up and spread my arms. “The one and only!”

“Is it true about what you did… to that unicorn?”

“Yeah, but I’m out now. You’re not scared of that, are you?” I asked looking down at him.

“Tartarus no, as far as I’m concerned you were in the right. I’d do the same if something happened to my daughter.”

“Good!”

As we continued with a merry conversation, we were halted by the sound of the door to the bar being slammed open. A purple unicorn stood at the door, staring down everyone in the bar.

“Clean! Where have you been? I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”

I slid around on the barstool to look at her, “Well you shoulda expected me to be here, you know how much I love my drinks.”

She could only let out a sigh at that and walk out, motioning me to follow her.

“Welp, it was nice talking to you barkeep, but it looks like the misses is callin.” I said, tossing a couple of bits out of one of my pouches.

He could only laugh at that, before falling into a fit of coughs.

“Welp, it was nice finally meeting you Clean, come back again and drink with me, I’d like to see how much you can handle.”

With a shared laugh and a wave, I left the bar to follow the angry unicorn.

Author's Note

I'm back laddies! I even made a patreon, check my blogs.

I'm actually gonna get back to writing too.