“Sure sure, what's your beef with me anyway? I didn’t do anything to hurt you.”

Backing away, her form starts to dissipate. “It's not what you’ve done to hurt me, it's what you’ve done to help my sister. You’re a sun lover, and you’re all the same.”

Flipping her the bird, I blow her ghostly form away. The mare’s outline fades and travels up like a puff of smoke, before disappearing.

With a wave of my hands I exclaim, “And poof! She’s gone. Abraca-fucking-dabra.”

Getting up and picking my knife off the ground, I cut a line into the wall.

“15 ticks down. 4000 to go.”

-=- -=- -=-

“Bwah! What the fuck?!”

“Clean! Watch your language, fillies are present.”

Looking around the room, I found us both sitting in the throne room. Trixie is stirring on my lap and Derpy is sitting beside Celestia on the throne. There is a line of ponies all waiting to talk with Celestia.

“Did you fall asleep, Clean? Are these fillies keeping you up?” Celestia whispers to me as the next pony in line walks up.

“No, no. I-I’m good. Just a bad dream is all.”

Trixie stretches on my lap, much like a cat. I rub my hand through her mane and down her back in a failing attempt to calm myself.

“If you would like to talk about it, I can end daycourt early.”

“It's fine Celestia, I don’t remember it anyway.”

“If you’re sure…” she says, dropping the subject and returning her focus to the pony in front of her.

I lean back in my little chair beside the throne. I stop petting Trixie and run my hands through my hair, trying to calm the sudden headache. Pushing my fingers into my temples and slowing my breathing.

“Damn, what was that dream?”

-=- -=- -=-

“Next?”

I groan in my chair, having finally calmed down. They kept coming, pony after pony, time and time again. Some of these ponies I’ve even seen before.

“Wait, you look familiar…”

“I would hope so! You owe me an apology!”

Squinting my eyes at the off pink earth mare, I stare at her for a couple seconds until it hits me.

Slapping my hand against my face and groaning into my hand, I say, “Fuuuuuuuuu-”

Just to have a hoof smack me upside the head. Looking up to see Morning Dew sitting on top of the back of my chair. I wrap my hands around Trixie and get up, causing the chair to unbalance and leave her tumbling.

“Anyway, Spoiled Milk, right? I thought I recognized you, didn’t you have a horn?”

“I’ve never had a horn thank you! And what happened to you fixing my fence, huh?”

“About that, I’m super sorry Milk.” I say, putting my foot on the chair leg and flipping it back up. “I had family come up, see?”

I hold Trixie up for Spoiled Milk to see. Trixie lets out a yawn and wiggles her front hooves. “Hello!” she says.

“Oh, I see… Well, I suppose that does make sense. But couldn’t you have sent me a letter or something telling me?”

I set Trixie down and she goes over to the chair, hopping on, and curls up to fall back asleep.

“Slight problem there, you never gave me your address, remember?”

“Oh.” Spoiled Milk says, rubbing her chin in thought. “Well then here, take my card so you don’t forget next time!”

She floats a small pink card with white text on it. “Spoiled Milk; Head of School Board. Huh.” I say, reading it outloud.

“Thats me! And don’t you forget next time. When do you think you can come and fix my fence then?”

“How’s about on Tuesday? These little ragamuffins leave in two days anyway.”

“Tuesday it is then, thank you, and good day.” She says, turning to the Princess and bowing before leaving.

“That solves that I suppose, but I get the feeling that could have gone a lot worse… Fuck it, I don't care.”

-=- -=- -=-

“Is that the last one?” Celestia asks one of the guards posted beside the door, to which he nods. “Alright, daycourt is hereby over. Thank you for your work gentlestallions.”

The two guards on each side of the door leave the room, pulling the doors closed behind them.

“Welp, that's about enough work for today, right Tia?”

“Yeah Celestia! I wanna go eat!” Trixie says hopping off my lap and bouncing in front of the pony Princess.

“I do too! I want sweets and all kinda things!” Derpy says, joining her cousin.

“Alright you two, Clean and I will see what we can do. But you know what's better than dinner? Dinner with friends! Morning Dew, can you take these two and get Blueblood and Twilight to come down for dinner?”

Morning Dew salutes to the princess with a “Yes ma’am,” before running out with two fillies hot on her heels.

“Smart thinking Tia, but I know you well enough. I’m guessing you’ve got something to talk about?”

“Yes, but not here. They’ll meet us in the palace dining room. Follow me to my room.”

-=- -=- -=-

Celestia leads me into her room and closes the door quickly.

“Clean, are you feeling okay?”

I move over to her desk and reach around behind it, pulling out a big, dark bottle. Tapping it twice against the bottom, I open the top and take a swig. Causing Celestia to sigh and shake her head.

“Yeah, I’d say I am. Why?”

“Just worried about you is all. It's not like you to just fall asleep like that… Are you positively sure you’re alright?”

“Yes, Tia what's got your tail in a knot? You’re usually not this paranoid.”

She sits down on her bed and flops over. Taking another swig, I set the bottle down and walk up before sitting down beside her.

“I’m sorry Clean, its just… I don’t know. I’m scared. It won’t be long until my sister returns and we still haven’t found the Elements.”

“We’ll find them, I’ve found that shit eventually goes right for the good guys in this world. Funny too, not like that back home.” I say, opening her nightstand and pulling out a brush. “Brushy?”

“Yes, please brushy.” She says, lighting up her horn. Her ethereal mane then fell limply against her back.

“Good, now sit back and relax. We don’t have long.”

“Of course Clean…”

She scoots onto her belly and relaxes as I run the brush down her mane over and over again.

“Clean…”

“Yes, that is my name.”

“Just… Thank you for being by my side all this time. I know you didn’t really have a choice, but I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Of course Tia, that’s what I’m here for. Now stop gettin mushy on me.”

-=- -=- -=-

Celestia and I walk into the dining room side by side. Inside Twilight is holding a book in her magic and eating a bowl of soup. Blueblood and Trixie are sitting beside each other drawing on a paper with crayons and munching on two seperate salads with their magic. Lastly is Derpy, who is wing deep in paper muffin wrappers.

“Well, me thinks we’re a bit late.”

“That we are Clean. Judging by those wrappers I’d say we’re about ten minutes too late.”

“Took you two long enough! What was so important that I had to do the babysitting?!” Morning Dew says, running over to us.

“Its above your pay grade there batsy.” I say patting her head and causing her to pout. “Have you gotten anything to eat yet?”

“No, I was waiting for you two. C’mon!” Morning Dew says.

Celestia and I both take our seats and a waitress pony rushes over with a sheet of paper.

“Usual for me.” I say and the waitress writes something down on her paper before turning to the Princess.

“And I think I’ll have something different. I’d like pancakes please!”

The waitress stops for a second, before regaining her composure and writing it down.

“Pancakes, huh?” I comment as the pony walks away.

“What? Maybe I wanted something sweet!”

“Shit, can’t argue there. I might get some sweets myself for once.”

-=- -=- -=-

Celestia, Morning Dew, and I make idle chat as we wait for out food. The three and a half stooges are all munching on their foods while talking about school and other various tiny pony things.

After a good ten minutes or so, two stallions wearing fancy butler outfits come out with trays balanced on their backs. One sets a sandwich in front of Morning Dew who begins to eat it unceremoniously. Then he sets a large stack of pancakes in front of Celestia. The second one drops a plate of mashed potatoes in front of me. Next he sets down a big ‘ol steak.

“Ahem!” I clear my throat.

“Oh, my apologies sir.” The waiter says, nodding to the other stallion who runs into the kitchen. After a few seconds he comes back out with a bottle of whiskey.

“Thanks mate, you’re free to go.”

“Of course sir. Please enjoy your meals.”

And then we’re left with our meals. I grab a salt shaker and pour some onto the potatoes. They never add enough salt.

“Clean, do you always need to drink alcohol?”

“Yes, yes I do.” I say popping the top off and pouring some into a glass. “Remind me to get that bottle out of your room and replace it with a closed one.”

Morning Dew looks between the two of us then shrugs, going back to her sandwich.

“Uncle Clean, how old do I need to be to drink those with you?” Blueblood asks from across the table.

“Well Blue, when you hit your eighteenth birthday I’ll give you a special bottle I’ve been saving.”

Celestia gives me a dirty look, to which I simply stick my tongue out at.

“Honestly Clean, you can be so childish at some times.”

“You know you love me Tia.”

“I do, and I wish I didn’t.”

-=- -=- -=-

I tuck Derpy and Trixie into bed, giving them both a kiss on the forehead.

“Night you two.”

I sneak out of the room, leaving a nightlight on, and slowly close the door.

“Funny, didn’t think I’d see you being THAT sappy Clean.”

“Fuck off Dew.”

“Ahh, there it is. The rash bastard I know and love.”

“Damn right. Anyway… what can you tell me about that Spoiled Milk mare?”

“Not much I’m afraid. I still don’t know why you asked me to look into her. If you don’t trust her, why even agree to helping her.”

I pull out a smoke and light it, puffing it into life. “Just got a bad feelin is all. Don’t know why, but I get mad just lookin at her and I have no idea why.”

“Yeah, definitely not like you to hate someone right off the bat and still agree to help them.”

“Fuck it, I just need a drink. And another smoke.”

Morning Dew steps in my way and stops me.

“Clean, something is bothering you. You never drink this much.”

“Fuck off Dew, you don’t know me.” I say, pulling out the box of smokes and pulling one out and I try to put it in my mouth, only to find I already had one in there.

The thestral raises an eyebrow at me. “Really Clean?”

“Just fuck off and leave me alone. I need some time to think.” I say, pushing her out of my way and heading to my room.

Making my way inside, I go through my drawers. Finding what I was looking for, I pull out a key.

Making my way to the other side of the room, I pull up a hidden compartment and put the key into the uncovered keyhole. Turning the key responds with a click and the wall slides away showing a hidden room and a staircase.

Pulling the key out and I enter the newly made pathway. Inside is another keyhole that I put the key in. The door slides closed. Taking the key out again and pocketing it, I make my way down.

“Clean, what are we going to do?”

I stood there, watching over the two fillies.

“I need some time to think, I need to step outside.”
I stop and sit down on the staircase. I clutch my head and my vision blurs for a second. Once I recover I stand back up and make my way down faster.

‘Yes, a lesson is exactly what that wretched cretin needs. Show her why a pony is no match against a human.’

My steps slowed as I came closer and closer to the dungeons. I knew that Spoiled Milk had to be down here. The holding cells were just below the castle, just enough so that they could be guarded. They were rarely used, but I still kept them in clean shape.

I nearly lose my footing as my head starts to throb. My pace, while considerably slowed, doesn’t stop.

“What the fucks going on here…” I say to myself.

‘That mare took something from Derpy that she’ll never get back. Now it is time to take something from her. Open the door.’

I didn’t feel right, something felt wrong.

Finally reaching the bottom of the stairs I look around the room.

The walls and floors are all stone slabs. An old, ornate looking table, chair, and candle adorn a corner of the room. On the desk is numerous marks, burns, and scars. Beside the candle is a glass bowl, my ashtray.

Along one wall is a row of racks, all holding different wines, whiskeys, and other drinks. All aged at least a century. There's also a bookshelf covered in books of various ages as well as writing materials. I pull the newest looking one out as well as an inkwell and quill and set them on the table. Then I move to the rack of drinks and randomly grab one.

“Irelemane’s Poitin, this’ll do for now.” I say, setting it on the table.

Pulling the chair out I sit down and begin to write.

Date; who the fuck cares 990 AB
Time; fuck if I know Night

I look down at my writing. “I still write in English after all these years. Funny.” I say, cracking open the bottle of Poitin and taking a drink.

Today I woke up in the throne room after having fallen asleep. I had a nightmare that I can’t remember. For the first time in a long time, I’m actually scared. Ever since then I’ve been having horrible headaches and I remember parts of the dream. I used to write dream journals along with my normal journals, but I’ve never had a dream effect me like this.
I remember Spoiled Milk, a pink coated and almost purple maned pony. I’m angry at her, but I can’t remember why. I go down to the dungeons. That's all I remember.

I stop writing for a second to take another drink. I set my quill down beside the inkwell and pull the ashtray closer, lighting up another smoke. I look around my room down here. I built this as my ‘inner sanctum’ of sorts. No one knows of this place, not even Celestia.

I get the feeling that I’m forgetting something, but its not adding up. Why would I be mad at Spoiled Milk? Huh, funny name too. Who names their filly that?
To make matters worse, Celestia is all worried about her sister and the Elements. I’ve got the feelin that everything will be OK, but still. It does make you think. If the elements were divided into two sisters, how did Celestia use all six? It doesn’t matter in the end, she explained it was “the way magic works.”

I smile down at my page. I remember the day she told me that too, I didn’t wanna believe her, but it really was ‘just how magic works’.

I reach over to my bottle. I take another mouthful of that sweet, sweet mind numbing juice, finding my headache already clearing away.

“Maybe I should slow down…” I say to myself, putting the cap on the large bottle.

Twilight. That filly is growin up fast. So are Derpy and Trixie now that I think about it. I wonder if Twilight will end up being the next Element bearer. She shows promise with Magic, but not really the other five. Her brother, on the other hand, shows loyalty. Derpy’s got Honestly, and Trixie has laughter. Blueblood, I dunno. Probably generosity.

Maybe I’m just looking too deep into things. They’re still fillies and colts afterall. They need to focus on being kids, not growing up. Either way, I think I’m done. My headache is gone and its getting late.

I look down at my journal. Nodding in approval, I close my inkwell and clean my quill. Leaving the book for last so the ink can dry.

“I need to write in that journal more.” I say as I put the room back in order.

I climb up the staircase and open the door with my key. It slides open and I saunter out, feeling like a new man. I pop the key in the outside keyhole and close the door behind me.

“Damn, I love being me.”

Author's Note

Lotta people didn't like how the story changed from a Slice of Life to a Drama. So heres what would happen if all that stuff DIDN'T go down.

Yeah, I know. I'm now working on two different stories that conflict with each other. Kill me now.