The slow ‘drive’ to the theater was filled with idle chitchat. Derpy and Trixie sat on my lap, each taking turns with me brushing their hair, while Dearie and Lovie chatted with their husbands. I looked outside the little window to the carriage and watched the ponies walk past.

I knew this castle like the back of my hand. I knew this town like palm. But these ponies, I only knew some of them. I’ve lived in this world for nearly two centuries.

“You know, in my old world I would have died by now.”

The idle chatter in the carriage stopped completely.

“Dad? Are you okay?”

I looked away from the window and looked at the ponies in the carriage with me. Dearie Doo and Lovie Lulamoon, my two beautiful daughters. Lockstone and Keystone, my two son-in-laws. And Derpy and Trixie, my two granddaughters.

“All of you are so important to me…” I said, feeling my eyes begin to tear up. “If I lost any of you… I don’t know what I would do.”

Trixie stirred from my lap and rubbed against my hand. “Are you feeling sick pawpaw?”

Dearie and Lovie looked at each other and got up to sit on either side of me and lean on my. I brought a hand up to my face and wiped the tears that were starting to form away.

“I don’t think I’ve ever told y’all about myself, have I?”

The two brothers went from ambivalent to curious, while Lovie and Dearie remained quiet.

“I’m about… lets see… I got here when I was 28… plus… I’m over 200 years old now. As you probably guessed, back in my world I was a janitor. I lost a lot of family back home, we were in the middle of a big war. I lost my old man in Iraq, a country back home, and my ma passed shortly after I graduated…”

I took a second to mull over my thoughts, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up. I took a slow puff and cracked open the window.

“Well, when they both passed I was sorta on my own. My grandmother passed before I was born, but my grandfather died a couple years before my pa. Greatest old man you would have ever met, used to sit on his old rocking chair and smoke from his pipe all day. Told a mean story too, but anyway, no one in my immediate family to go to. Couple of cousins across the states, but too far to travel. I ended up selling everything we had and traveled. Eventually I found a job at a big complex building as a janitor. Bought a small townhouse outside of town and lived there for a couple years before I found myself here.”

We sat in silence for a couple seconds. Dearie rubbing my left arm and Lovie rubbing my right. The two fillies were quietly listening to my story, so I idly pet them.

“I focused on my work. I didn’t try and get a life outside of it, no point in my opinion. Back where I come from, a layman won’t be much in life and a janitor isn’t much of a big buck making job. But then I found her… She was the perfect girl to me, I fell in love immediately. I decided to ask her out, awkwardly, mind you, but still. And she said yes, she actually agreed to go on a date with me. For years I had resigned myself to being alone and just silently doing my job, but then I got something big to live for. I thought of having kids for once in my life, thought of getting married and starting a family.”

My hand started shaking and I crushed the butt of my cigarette into a metal container that I put the remains and ashes in.

“But this wouldn’t be a Clean story is it ended happily. Her name was-”

“Excuse me, Clean and family! We’ve arrived!” Came from outside the carriage.

“Well shucks, guess we’ll need to finish story time later.”

“Dad, if you need to wait-” Dearie started to say, before I cut her off.

“Nah sweetheart. All I want to say is that I love all of you very much. You’re all my everything.” I said, leaning down to kiss my kids and grandkids on their foreheads. “And even you too, I’d kiss your foreheads too, but that would be weird, just know that you’re both part of my family now.”

“Yessir.” “Thank you, father.” They both said.

-=- -=- -=-

Entering the theater, we stamped our tickets in and looked around. It looked similar to an old movie theater, complete with the signature 70s carpet aesthetic. In the direct middle of the theater was a concession stand, with popcorn, nachos, and various drinks.

“Wait, I thought we were going to a play? Like a classic theater?”

Lovie hopped around me, showing off a bag of popcorn and pushing it into my hands. “Surprised? We wanted to show you the new theater in town, plus a new movie just came out, its got a lot of slapstick humor.”

“Well yeah I’m surprised! I won’t be happy with just a popcorn tho, I need a nacho and a slurpee to make this perfect, you kids want anything?” I said, walking up to the stand pulling out some coins.

“Dad, its your birthday break, you’re not paying for anything.”

“Watch me.” I said, tossing a couple coins on the counter. “Give me one of every candy, four more popcorns… six cola frosties… and… oh! Four nachos. And if you have a cart for all of that that would be lovely.”

The mare behind the counter tapped a few buttons on her cash register and smiled. “Certainly sir! That will be thirteen bits and they will bring the cart in for you.”

“Perfect, take 14 and keep the change.” I said, tossing a couple more onto the counter.

“Of course Mr.Clean. Thank you, and enjoy the movie.”

I turned back to the rest of the group. “You can all pay me back by having a good time. I don’t get to treat my kids very often, let alone my grandkids.”

The two fillies looked excited at the prospect of goodies, while their mothers looked displeased.

“Dad, what did I just say-”

I cut Dearie off. “What did I say about backsassin your papa? Now let me do something nice while I can.”

They were both unhappy with me, so I quickly grabbed the fillies in my arms and said, “Alright before you get mad at me, look at these cute little fillies and tell my they’re not happy with the snacks.” I held them out, pointed towards Dearie.

“...”

“...”

“Well?”

“I’m still mad it you.”

“Well fu- fiddlesticks… I’m going without you four then, buy your own snacks.”

-=- -=- -=-

As it turns out, the movie in question was a knock off Three Stooges movie called “The Trio of Stogies” to which I laughed at the title card.

“You know, I haven’t had a stogie in some time. I wonder if I can get one from my magic carton… That, or I’d take a blunt too…”

“Dad, shush! You’re ruining the movie!”

“Da- darn it Dearie I’m reminiscing!”

“Shh!” came from several rows in front of us.

I picked up a piece of popcorn and threw it at them, to which it harmlessly plinked off the back of their head. Then, leaning back in my too small chair, I started to enjoy the little movie.

The two fillies were enjoying the movie the most, which brought a smile to my face. I passed both of them a little bag of chocolate candies, keeping a third for myself.

“Emm And Emms…” I read off the side.

I felt Dearier lean against my shoulder. Opening the baggy, I pulled out a green one and popped it into my mouth.

Dearied began pawing at my elbow, nearly causing me to drop the baggy. I flicked her on the nose, then pulled out a handful of the chocolate beads and dropped a purple one onto her muzzle. She sat still for a second before jerking and catching it in her mouth.

“Thanks dad.”

“Sure, you can get the purple ones. I hate the purple ones.” I said, dividing the candies by color.

We sat there, enjoying company, a good movie, and dozens of candies. The three main characters were attempting to escape a jail cell, the bald and chubby one managing to cause a bar to fall onto his head knocking him out while the other two were using dental floss to cut lines through the cell bars.

“Hey, you, come here.”

In the adjacent cell, a human hand reached out, attempting to grab the bar that knocked out the unconscious one.

“Thats it, come to papa…”

The camera panned out slightly, just enough to show a bit of the other cell, showing an emancipated man with a scraggly beard. He pulled the bar over and picked it up. He looked it over, then placed it in the corner of the room where a stool was.

“Now, where have my tools gone?” He said, as he pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it up.

The camera panned out more, showing more of the cell.

“Wait, isn’t that my…”

He pulled a small box out from a hole in the wall.

“Wait, thats my box!”

“Dad! Shh! You’re gonna bother others.”

“But Dearie, did you not-”

“Hey! Quiet back there!”

I looked back at the screen to see the three ponies pulling a carriage followed by several other ponies toting their own carriages.

“Fuck this, I need to see Celestia…”

Author's Note

Merry Christmas everyone.

I meant to put this out two days ago on my birthday, as a little gift to all, but got sidetracked. Instead, here is a small Christmas present from me to you. Expect many more chapters to come, in this and the others.