Chapter 1: Remembrance

As the early winter sun set outside the bustling city of Baltimare, students of Baltimare Interdisciplinary University escaped to the warmth of their dormitories after yet another long day of lectures and study sessions. Presently, a lone brown Earth pony stallion sat by the window of his dorm room, sighing heavily and glancing briefly at the numerous papers, notebooks, and textbooks that littered the surface of his bed. He knew he should get back to studying for his end-of-term exams that were right around the corner, yet he made no motion towards them. Instead, he gazed longingly into the distance and sighed, thinking back to the numerous times he would sit by this very window, looking towards the town he once called home on the horizon.

A series of knocks on his door brought him temporarily out of his trance; he turned his head around to identify the source of the noise. The handle jostled a bit before it abruptly ended, hearing a few grunts of disapproval coming from the other side. Suddenly, the figure outside started banging on the door, seemingly throwing its entire weight against the old wooden slab. After several grunts and bangs, the door burst open, revealing a panting, pale grey Earth pony stallion carrying a faded blue saddlebag.

“Hey, Button,” the stallion said, tossing his bag onto the cleaner one of the two unoccupied twin beds before promptly laying down on it, “Geez, we really need to talk to our resident advisor about that door, huh?”

“Hey Dusty,” Button Mash returned the greeting and turned back to his window-gazing, “Yeah, I guess so.”

“I mean, who in their right mind would allow such a problem to persist for so long?” Dusty Marks exclaimed, “I tell you, if this were Ponecraft, then I’d build that door with some pristine Haytopian wood, give it +10 strength and probably a few anti-lockpicking charms, as well. Maybe even loosen up those hinges with some Dragon Spit grease; what do you think?”

Button Mash said nothing, which caught Dusty slightly off-guard. Usually his friend would not hesitate to throw in his two cents on any given subject with some sort of Ponecraft-related quip, but not tonight apparently. Not wanting to pry too much, however, Dusty continued, “Oh, I almost forgot to tell you! Buzz was talking about possibly hitting up that new arcade opening up downtown tonight; you in?” he adds, looking over at his friend curiously.

Button looked up from the window slightly, glancing over at his friend without turning to look at him. “Eh, not feeling it tonight,” he eventually responded. Now, Dusty was growing concerned for his well-being. For as long as he’d known Button Mash, (which was extremely long considering they grew up two doors down from each other) the tan stallion would rarely willingly pass up the opportunity to take what the three of them considered “educational commercials” down to the arcade. Now that he thought about it, Dusty remembered that only a few weeks ago, the new Cave Warriors update for Ponecraft was released, yet Button had shown as much enthusiasm as he did now when Dusty asked if he wanted to try it out. Realizing that there was more to Button's sullen demeanor than per usual, he attempted to get to the bottom of his friend’s sudden lackluster attitude.

“OK, what’s up with you?” he finally asked, “First you pass up the opportunity to talk about Ponecraft, and now you don’t want to go to an arcade of all places! Something wrong, bud? Worrying about those final exams again?” Button shifted slightly in his chair before replying, trying but failing to put his feelings into words.

“No, it’s not that,” he replied, “Just thinking about home again.”

“Home? What about it?” Dusty asked, pondering, “Is it about your mom again, because I thought you told me you had got over that whole homesickness deal last year?”

“No, not about mom,” Button confided in his best friend, “About…somepony else.”

“Who else could it…ooohh,” he finally said, realization dawning on him, “Dude, I can’t believe you’re still hung up over her. I mean, I thought you said you coming here would’ve broken that or something, right?” he asked, sighing heavily at his friend’s expense as he thought back to one particular night during their senior year that had seemingly changed Button forever. He remembered how those first few weeks after it happened had been, with Button wanting to follow Dusty out to college so soon after graduation, seemingly determined to leave Ponyville and his pre-college life behind.

“I guess that’s what I thought, but I’m not sure anymore,” Button Mash said, looking back at his friend briefly before looking back out the window, “I’m sorry, but I’m just not in the right mood for the arcade right now.”

“Hey, that’s fine, you do you, bud, I understand,” Dusty said nonchalantly, sliding off of his bed and making his way back toward the door, “If you happen to change your mind, though, you know where to find us.”

Button nodded to his friend as the door closed behind him, another heavy sigh rattling his frame. He knew his friend was right about one thing: the pony on his mind was indeed partially the reason he moved all the way out to Baltimare for college instead of finding something closer. His mom had initially tried to talk him out of moving so far away; she would always rattle off the various other schools and universities that offered something to appeal to his interests. Feeling bad for leaving her in the dark, he finally confided in her the real reason he was moving away; despite the distress she felt over seeing her last colt move away, she eventually understood and helped him along with his pursuits. He could always count on his mom for helping to keep his best interests at heart, for which he would always be grateful.

Button Mash sighed once more before eventually moving away from the windowsill; along the way, he eyed the various textbooks, papers, and study guides strewn about his desk, the result of his and Dusty’s rather hectic and procrastination-driven nights of studying for exams. Well, at least it might be a good distraction from all this, he thought to himself as he sat down at the desk, grabbed a textbook from amidst the piles of papers, and began studying. For a moment, he was grateful for the brief reprieve from thinking about his old life back in Ponyville, humming away as he memorized line after line of gaming theory. After a while of staring at pages, however, the letters seemed to have minds of their own, moving and swirling across the page and around his own mind. The letterforms themselves contorted, deformed, and rearranged themselves so that they began to form the same two words over and over: a name that Button recognized all too well as the source of his despair. He shut his eyes, trying to wipe that particular name from his vision, but even with his eyes closed, the words danced across the undersides of his eyelids. He struggled a bit longer before screaming in a fit of rage, promptly showing the textbook across the room; it hit with a bang and slid down the wall onto the floor with a soft thud. He lowered his head to his hooves, trying to calm himself down from his brief outburst; “Why, Sweetie Belle? Why?” he thought to himself as he stepped off of his bed and began pacing.

Since he’d moved away from Ponyville, Button Mash tried desperately to remove any thoughts or feelings of Sweetie Belle – a filly whom he had always harbored feelings for when they were younger – from his memory, but with little success. No matter how hard he tried to forget about everything that happened between them before he left, such powerful memories always seemed to resurface, most often with less-than-convenient timing. He still remembered those pained memories from his first year away at college, when some of the older sports jocks would tease him for his sensitivity and proneness to crying. Granted, he did have more than a couple of full-blown meltdowns right in the middle of class, so the teasing was not completely uncalled for. There used to be days when he believed that things could go back to normal with them, that they could try to be friends again. As time passed however, with no word from Sweetie Belle herself, it was all but confirmed for him; she did not feel the same way he did, so he eventually gave up on her.

Too distracted to return to his work, he found himself gravitating back to the window, sitting down and wishing all the pain would end somehow. As he sat there, wallowing in his heartbreak, Button began to whisper a tune – one that he had sung too many times to count throughout his first two years away from Ponyville and the one he loved:

Save me, I’m drowning so deep in the darkness,

I’m waiting for your touch to stop this,

There’s smoke blinding us with goodbyes, A-a-and I…

Keep hope, cause this feeling’s different and I know,

I’ve staggered so long that it can’t go,

Alleviate me, I’ll be fine, i-i-in time…

Please remember that I miss you,

Young and reckless, what did we do?

Broken promise, gone forever,

Maybe one day we’ll get better.

Right by your side, that’s where I’ll be

In a heartbeat if you ask me.

Let’s stay strangers, like we’re meant to,

Oh, I wonder if you miss me too?

* * * *

Several miles away, in the very place that Button Mash was thinking about, the citizens of Ponyville were winding down for the night. Ponies hurried along their way, retreating to the warmth of their homes and escaping the bitter cold of winter, and busied themselves with relaxing from the ever-shortening, work-filled daylight hours. Businesses reluctantly but gratefully flipped their open signs to “closed” as last-minute holiday shoppers trickled out with their final purchases like the last few drops of water from a closed faucet. Although most businesses were closing to customers, the ponies working at Carousel Boutique continued to rush around, prepping both storefront and supply rooms for the next day’s round of customers. Presently, a pale unicorn mare, donning a pair of sparkling red spectacles, swiped her flowing violet locks back with a hoof as she poured her energy into several call-ahead orders at once.

“Sweetie Belle!” she called out from her desk. Shortly after, another alabaster unicorn mare, with curly pink and purple mane, trotted into the room.

“You called, sis?” Sweetie Belle asked sullenly.

“Yes, darling,” Rarity said to her little sister, “Would you be a dear and sort that fabric over there while I review these pre-orders? I’ll have a lot of work to do tomorrow, and with your help it will go much more smoothly.”

“Sure thing,” she responded and made her way over to the various rolls of fabric that had been tossed aside while her sister worked, some sticking haphazardly out of the shelving cabinet, the rest lying in heaps on the floor. She soon set to work, levitating roll after roll of precious raw material into their appropriate bins and shelves with tedious monotony. Usually she had more energy to help her sister out, especially with sorting, which happened to be one of her favorite chores to do around the boutique. Lately, however, she had not been feeling her usual chipper self, something deep-rooted in her memories long since passed nagging at the back of her mind. She soon finished her task and trudged away, prompting Rarity to look up in slight surprise.

“Done already? Well, thanks a ton, Sweetie,” the elder unicorn said, looking back down at her orders, “I’ll still be a little while, so don’t wait up on me for dinner.”

“K,” her sister grunted in response.

“Oh, have you heard from Apple Bloom or Scootaloo regarding their plans for the holiday?” Rarity asked curiously.

“No, not yet,” Sweetie said solemnly as she turned away from the doorway slightly.

“Well, don’t be too down and out,” Rarity said consolingly as she tied off yet another special-order gown, “I’m sure they’ll get back to you when things aren’t so busy for them. In the meantime, do you have any plans for tonight?"

“Nah, probably just gonna eat a little something and head to bed,” she said, keeping her head down.

“Really? Isn’t it only—” the fashionista began to ask before glancing at the clock over the door, gasping when she saw the actual time. “Good heavens, I guess it is rather late!” she exclaimed in surprise, “Okay then, see you in the morning, darling! I hopefully shouldn’t be too far behind you,” she added while letting out an exhausted yawn.

“Yeah, okay,” Sweetie Belle murmured as she entered their kitchen and began prepping a daffodil sandwich and some leftover carrot and lentil stew. She slunk over to their dining table and began eating solemnly, chewing slowly and reminiscing over all that she accomplished within the past few years after high school. She initially tried her hoof at following in her sister’s hoofsteps in the fashion industry, but she quickly lost interest and found the market to be too over-saturated as it was. She decided to take a break from any future studies to focus more on her dream of joining the performing arts; in the meantime, she had been helping Rarity around the boutique, which she especially appreciated during the busy holiday shopping season. The fatigue from several late nights working was not the only think keeping Sweetie Belle weary and solemn, however; with more time to herself, a certain light-brown stallion kept creeping his way into the forefront of her thoughts.

It had been quite some time since she last spoke with or saw her old fillyhood friend, Button Mash, but it certainly wasn’t the first time she ever thought about him since he left Ponyville. She felt horrible and wholly responsible for how things had ended between them after the incident at the party from their high school days. Luckily for them, most everypony from the party hardly knew about what really happened, so no rumors about the night had started; those who did know, which, to Sweetie’s knowledge, only consisted of her closest friends Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, managed to keep the incident under wraps. Despite their reputations being relatively safe, she never got over how shocked and hurt Button had looked that night and sought every chance she could to apologize and make things right between them. At their class’ graduation ceremony the following week, however, Button swiftly avoided speaking to or looking over at her; she tried to find him afterwards while everypony else took pictures, but it was like he just disappeared, both from the ceremony and from her life. When she found out that he had left for college early, she feared that she would never get the chance to make up for her mistakes; when he failed to return home during any subsequent holidays or school breaks, she pretty much confirmed for herself that he wanted nothing to do with her or Ponyville anymore.

After finishing her meal, she yawned as the effects of numerous weeks of helping around the boutique began to catch up to her; she cleaned her dishes off and began making her way up to her room for the night. As she walked past her sister’s “inspiration” room, she peered inside and saw Rarity hunched over her desk, her spectacles askew and mane unkempt, snoring loudly and drooling on some of the order forms under her head. Always the image of elegance, huh sis? she thought to herself and chuckled, remembering how often her sister would pride herself in her usually pristine physical appearance. After briefly tidying up the orders to be sorted tomorrow, she gently took the slumbering form of her sister in her pale green aura and levitated her up to her own room. Grunting slightly under her sister’s mass, she eventually managed to place the fashionista in her bed, tucking her in much like their mom would do for them.

As Sweetie Belle lay upon her own mattress and doused the lights, she entered a fitful night of tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable enough to fall asleep before eventually giving up altogether. She instead got up out of bed and resorted to pacing around her room, letting her mind run free and wild with thoughts feelings about what happened between her and Button Mash. Despite what had happened between them, she still harbored feelings for him; exactly what those feelings were, however, she could not be sure of just yet. On one hoof, she hoped that these feelings were simply of missing a long-lost friend, but a smaller part of her mind kept telling her that there might be something more than just thoughts of friendship brewing. The more she thought about the events that transpired, the more she realized she desperately wanted to make up with him before he eventually forgot about her, if he already had not. The longer she waited, however, the more hopeless she became that he would ever forgive her after how harshly she betrayed him, and the less she trusted herself to be able to fix their relationship.

She continued to pace around her room until she eventually found herself at her bedroom window, staring solemnly towards the east – towards Baltimare and her ex-best friend. Loneliness took over her heart in that moment as she expressed her own heartbreak in song:

Find me, I’m waiting right here where you left me,

Still shredded and bruised but I’m breathing

Be brave for me, ignore their eyes, ju-u-ust try.

We’re dancers, and I’ve picked petals looking for answers,

And I’ve received these edges from chances,

Indelible, but I’ll be fine, i-i-in time…

Please remember that I miss you,

Not caring is so hard to do.

Everything we loved together,

It’s not the same without you there.

Feels like you were just beside me,

How did time go by so quickly?

Now we’re strangers but I miss you,

Oh, I wonder if you miss me too?

* * * *