Anon has recently been tossed out of Princess Twilight Sparkle’s Castle in Ponyville after she had become fed up with his character, or more specifically a lack thereof. Apparently Anon was not pulling his weight and needed this as encouragement to; look for a job, stop drinking so much, make some friends, and something about making an effort to learn pony culture. All of which were exactly what Anon did not want to do after he had awoken in the pastel colored hell that, thank whatever deity you will, conveniently had booze.
Not only did Twilight’s suggestions of finding work at a small shop or farm make Anon feel like drinking, but drinking the ponies watered down alcohol made Anon a very heavy drinker by pony standards, and this only strengthened Twilight’s resolve to tell him he needed to go out and find work.
Anon grumbled while he recalled what had happened a few days prior, “Sure it’s okay when Starlight brings in her little Great and Powerful Mooch. I mean that Trixie's entire job is to do magic shows in a land where magic is literally everywhere. And all they do is spend the week running around and cause shenanigans, and then they call it magic practice...”
Anon was quick to pick up on how real magic was in Equestria. After Twilight's initial inspections left him shocked, frazzled, and in need of a drink he realized magic isn’t just a cheap trick, or only a thing of tall tales here. Other things like the sun, moon, Cutiemarks, ect., however only raised more questions of how the world worked than they answered, and this too made Anon want to drink. You have probably noticed our pal Anon really likes to drink when shit goes awry, this is mostly because the Narrator drinks. So let’s just get back to Anon’s story.
“Then when I spend more than a week trying to get used to this crazy place I get thrown out of the Princess of Friendship’s Castle. How does that even work, I mean she’s the Princess of Friendship, it’s practically in her name that she can’t just throw me out.” As out of character as it sounds for a Princess of Friendship to throw someone out let’s say it happened because it’s Anon’s way of learning a friendship lesson or something.
Anon had spent the last few days wandering the streets. His nights were usually at Berry Punch’s, of Rarity’s place, as they were the two only ponies who had taken to offering Anon a place to sleep and bathe. Anon was getting quite comfortable with his lifestyle.
One night however, Rarity, just like Twilight had done previously, insisted Anon try to find work. She gazed into his eyes dearly and spoke to Anon in a warm tone, “Anon, darling. I know you would be so much happier if you found something to do with your time other than drink Berry Punch’s alcohol. I mean I love having you stay here, but there will times when I won’t be around and you’ll need a place of your own to stay. It would be quite scandalous if somepony were to notice you staying at my place even when I’m not around.” - Rarity blushed - “But back to the topic of work, I can offer you a job. I mean I won’t be able to pay you much to start, but I could make it up to you in other ways. And if it all works out maybe it could be start of something marvelous. So what do you say, would you like to help me with my fashion work, you could move boxes, tell me about fashion from your world, and help deliver some of my larger orders.”
Anon nodded as he looked at Rarity, feigning interest. Instead of listening he thought, “I wonder how she wound up so marshmallowy looking. I mean most of the ponies seem to be a little plush, but Rarity just looks so soft and squishy…”
Rarity tore Anon’s attention away from her appearance when she placed a hoof on his chest and said, “Darling, do you think you could do that, for me?”
Oblivious to the entirety of the conversation he was supposed to be having with Rarity Anon smiled and nodded his head. Whatever it was it couldn’t be too bad, right?
The next night Anon want back over to Rarity’s hoping to sleep in her guest room again. However, Rarity had left to do some friendship problem solving or something and left him a note asking him to find someplace else to spend the night. With nowhere left to turn Anon headed to Berry Punch’s house.
Upon arriving Anon was greeted by a pleasantly surprised Berry Punch, “Anon, how’ve you been?”
Anon responds with a small yawn, “Rarity left to solve some friendship problem, and I need a place to sleep. Would you mind if I slept on your couch tonight?”
Berry Punch had taken a liking to Anon he was the only one who enjoyed drinking as much as she did, and she loved to listen to his drunken ramblings about life back on his world. Even so, she was troubled by the fact that Anon still hadn’t assimilated into Ponyville that well.
Berry Punch smiled at Anon, “No problem, just promise me you’ll find a job soon. I could help, I mean you’ve got those “hand” things and they look perfect for moving cases of punch, barrels of wine, and I’m sure you could help me do other stuff too.”
Anon’s face was expressionless as he nodded and walked over to the couch. He laid down on it with his legs draped over the armrest before covering his eye with his arms. As he did so Berry Punch sighed and started up the stairs to her room.
As Anon lay on the couch he realized that maybe he should get a job, because when Berry Punch is the one telling you to get your shit together you fucked up somewhere. I mean the mare drinks, makes alcoholic and non-alcoholic punch and passes out either at a party, on her way home, or at her own doorstep. She never really seemed to make it into her home. But, even if she is a very capable drunk she was still a drunk, and she had really put shit into perspective.
This got Anon thinking as he lay on Berry Punch’s couch waiting for sleep to take him, “After having been used as a back-scratcher for the Great and Powerful Trixie, scratched Pinkies nose, and Vinyl’s, never mind I’d rather not remember that one, maybe I could work with my hands…” Fucking genius.
The next day Anon applied and had already begun working a job at the local spa. Anon had applied thinking scratching small fluffy ponies would be easy money, however being the oblivious and usually buzzed man that he is, Anon signed on without reading what it was that he has agreed to. It was a habit of his to act first and deal with shit later, contracts hardly ever screwed anyone over anyway right?
Instant regret. The contract he had signed meant that, at least according to Anon, for all intents and purposes Aloe and Lotus owned his ass. However, if you were to ask anypony else they would have told you he was being spoiled by the mares. He was to work reasonable hours, offer massages, scritches and other such things the ponies would demand of him. He would be paid a generous bi-weekly salary of 240 bits, more than enough for him to drink himself stupid every day for a month. And when his services were not requested he would have to help around the spa by moving massage beds, washing the complimentary warm towels, loading the cases of therapeutic oils, incense and the mud for the spa into the back room, or bringing them out for use. If he was done early he was allowed to rest and wait unless Aloe or Lotus asked him to do something else. On top of that the contract gave him the luxury of living with Aloe and Lotus free of charge, and he was allowed to use their utilities as he wished, so long as he did so responsibly. The contract even went so far as to guarantee insurance for any and all accidents that could possibly happen to Anon both on the job and on his time off.
Most ponies were sure that Anon was going to be settled in quickly and happily thanks to the generosity of Aloe and Lotus. Twilight, and Berry Punch congratulated Anon on finding work and even a place to stay. They were to start planning for a party later this week when Rarity and Pinkie Pie returned.
Meanwhile, Anon was convinced that he needed to find another job more to his liking, one where he wasn’t going to be forced to slave away for a small pastel colored pony. And thus ensued Anon’s bumbling buffoonery while working a stable job in a land he despised, surrounded by annoyingly cute ponies who legitimately cared about his well-being. I mean why else would I be here shit-talking this moron.
Anon was a quick success. Within a few hours the ponies in town had heard he was working at the spa and many of the more curios ones came to see what kind of magic those little “fingers” on his “hands” would be able to do. The result was an explosion of customers eager to seek out Anon’s massages. Pleased customer after pleased customer would praise Anons work with his “hands”, and bring in more patronage.
Although all the ponies who had time to visit the spa thoroughly enjoyed Anon’s “handy-work” somepony’s requests had begun making him uncomfortable, and that just made him more determined to bolt out of there. The only thing that stopped him from doing so was that he needed the pay for his drinking. The drinking was of course to help him forget the weird shit he had to put up with at work.
Don’t ask questions, Anon has a problem and has found a solution, albeit one that only perpetuates a cycle of idiocy, but a solution nonetheless.
At first Anon wasn’t too upset about having to repeatedly scratch, massage and rub the kinks out of ponies, but then Mrs. Cake happened. Initially Anon was delighted to help Mrs. Cake, after all being a mom had to be stressful, and on top of that she also ran a local bakery, the mare was admirable. It helped that she would give him free pastries, but Anon would never admit to liking a Pony for such petty reasons.
Then things started getting weird, like Vinyl weird. Anon had just begun his third day of work at the spa when Mrs Cake asked for a significantly longer sessions that involved Anon using his hands on her underside. She insisted that her barrel, and the underside of her barrel were sore from the twins constantly wriggling about in their saddlebag baby carriers. Then she asked Anon to rub her inner thighs because she was tired from standing on her back hooves to prepare the pastries for her shop.
Although neither of these were actually a problem for Anon they are worth mentioning, because anyone whose reading anything could tell you what was going to happen next.
Finally Mrs.Cake asked him to knead her breasts because of the pressure that built up in them from being constantly full of milk and the twins both exhibiting a preference for the left teat. Yeah, saw that one coming.
Anon responded to Mrs. Cake’s request, “Mrs. Cake, I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ll have to talk to Mr. Cake, Aloe and Lotus to find out if this is part of my job, and if I’m even allowed to do something like that.”
Anon left the room content that he had dodged a bullet and saved himself his last bit of sanity, no way was he gonna get that physically intimate, even if it was “just a massage”, with a pony.
Anon went to Aloe and Lotus expecting to be shot down for proposing being so intimate with a customer, “Hey, Mrs. Cake wants me to rub her…” - Anon scratches the back of his neck, - “Well, her teats. I told her I’d have to talk with you guys first...”
Anon was dead wrong, again. Little bit of a theme going on here.
Aloe interrupted him while Lotus nodded along assuring Anon she agreed with what Aloe was saying, “I fail to see how there is anything wrong with Mrs. Cake’s request. I have done it, Lotus has done it, and we were actually the ones to suggest to Mrs. Cake that she ask you to try it too. Hopefully your hands can work their magic and help melt poor Mrs. Cake’s discomfort away.”
It also just so happened that Aloe and Lotus had talked to Mr. Cake about Mrs. Cakes problem and Lotus relayed his response to Anon, “Oh, and Anon, Mr. Cake said it was perfectly normal and that you shouldn’t worry about upsetting him. After all it is part of your job, and it’s just her teats. She needs to relieve her body of all the stress and tension that comes with being a mom.”
Anon thought to himself, “The fuck is wrong with these horses, it’s almost as if they don’t think breasts are sexual. Wait, they never did cover themselves. Anyway Aloe and Lotus say they’ve done it too so...” The ponies of this world not wearing clothes had been something Anon noticed immediately after arriving in this strange land, very few ponies wore clothes and they all seemed perfectly okay with that.
Sighing in defeat he assumed he would have to quit work after this one, after all Mrs. Cake had paid and if he didn’t do as she asked he would be a dick. Grade A morals.
But of course shit just doesn’t turn out how Anon had hoped, and Mrs. Cake asked Anon, “If I may have another request Anon -” She looked up at Anon waiting for a reply, Anon nodded, “- Good, I’ve heard about your “picking” of Vinyl Scratch and was wondering, maybe I could have you delicately scratch another “itch” of mine?”
Anon had helped Vinyl because she was cool and I guess Mrs. Cake wasn’t. I mean why else would he be so dead set on shooting Mrs. Cakes request down. Maybe Anon is a dick. No morals, or yes morals? I’m not sure where this unwillingness to scratch a horse’s anus situation would land on a moral spectrum.
Anon interrupts the story and bothers the narrator in attempt to justify his actions, “It was a moment of weakness. I was hard up and buzzed and couldn’t find it in myself to reject the lovely mare’s request, after all she promised Tavi wouldn’t mind. ”
Being a good narrator I will ignore Anon and continue on with the story.
Anon spoke with his eyes casted down before Mrs. Cake, “ No, I don’t think I can do that.”
However Mrs. Cake had not taken his response too well. She instantly voiced her protests “Anon, I can’t believe you’re playing favorites. Not helping a poor exhausted mother, but getting so up close and personal with a young beautiful mare who wasn’t even a customer.” - Mrs. Cake paused and batted her eyelashes at Anon - “You aren’t going to leave a customer dissatisfied are you Anon?”
Anon wasn’t sure for how long Mrs. Cake had been planning this, but he knew there was no way she was just making shit up as she went along. So again Anon said he would have to ask Aloe, Lotus and Mr. Cake.
Mrs. Cake tells him, “Mr. Cake told me to treat myself to whatever I like. So, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t mind a little scratching from the ‘handy-stallion’.”
Wow, did she just call Anon the handy-man in pony talk? Now he was living his life being referred to as an actor in a shitty porn.
Anon mumbled under his breath as he left the room, “What have I done to deserve this bull shit?”
Anon asked Aloe and Lotus, “Uhm, hey it’s me again. I was wondering if, well, if scratching a pony’s pucker is part of my job?”
After asking Aloe and Lotus about Mrs. Cake’s new request Lotus immediately responded, “Anon, deary, we are here to make the customers happy. We have just about done it all and expect you to be able to handle the same Anon. After all Mrs. Cake is usually the first one to spread gossip so whatever you do you should get used to it if, because if she likes it the whole town is going to know. Besides if you manage to do well we’ll switch your temporary workers contract to a permanent one.”
Basically they had told Anon to take the stick out of his ass and just scratch, rub or finger the mare if that's what she asked for.
Then a thought occurred to Anon, “So this was how they treated temporary workers. No wonder I’ve had to slave away.”
Now feeling a little more willing to do his job Anon decided that if he had to scratch a ponies’... Well it would be worth it if it meant he would no longer be subject to the whim of his current employers. So with his new resolve Anon headed back to the room where Mrs. Cake was waiting oblivious to Vinyl standing outside the spa with a small crowd forming around her.
Anon had quickly learned what kind of an “itch” Mrs. Cake wanted scratched when he walked back into the room. The room smelled musky and Mrs. Cake lay sprawled on the bed with her rear in the air and tail raised high.
Anon blurts out, confusion clear in his voice, as he enters, "What the hell?"
"Anon, I'm so glad you're here. You see I really wanted to get things started on my own, you know so you can spend more time scratching my 'itch'." - Mrs. Cake takes in a deep breath and shivers as Anon walks up beside her - "Wow, you smell sooo good."
"Thanks, I guess. Now just lie down on your back so I can massage your barrel." - Mrs. Cake does so immediately, without tearing her gaze from Anon. - "Okay, just let me get some incense burning and..."
"No! I mean, there's no need for that Anon, thank you though." Mrs. Cake tells him.
Anon asks, now unsure of how Mrs. Cake will react, "Alright, how about oils?"
"For Celestia's sake Anon just start already." There was now a hint of annoyance present in Mrs. Cake's voice.
Anon placed his hands on Mrs. Cake's barrel. Continuing Anon pressed his hands into her barrel applying some pressure as Mrs. Cake began to tense up beneath him. Deciding he could be more forceful he straddled her hind legs to better leverage his weight, and then ran the palms of his hands along her sides pressing into her hard. After some time Anon lessened the pressure he was using in preparation to rub deeply into Mrs. Cake's flesh with his fingertips. Mrs. Cake wriggled beneath him as her anticipation started to bubble over. Anon then began to gently rub Mrs. Cake's sides, eliciting a moan from her. Taking Mrs. Cake's soft humming as a good sign Anon continued, now pushing his knuckles into her thighs.
Anon decided that massaging a barrel was something that had proven too difficult and simply pressed his hands along her body applying generous amounts of pressure as he went along. Content that he had worked most off her tension out Anon hopped off of the table to begin working on Mrs. Cake's legs. When he did so he noticed a small pool of liquid forming beneath the mares now winking slit. Quickly averting his gaze Anon focused on her large thighs. Then he started to massage her thighs pressing and rubbing as Mrs. Cake's moaning and humming grew louder and louder.
It hadn't been more than 20 minutes when Mrs. Cake suddenly rolled over back onto her stomach and stared into Anon's eyes. There was a fire in her eyes Anon had never seen before as she spoke up, "Anon, I appreciate all of the scratching and rubbing, but could you perhaps start on my other 'itch'?"
Anon blinked in surprise and nodded.
"Great, -" Mrs. Cake thrust her large rump into the air, "- Now please hurry would you?"
Anon placed his hands on her rump and kneaded it firmly. Mrs. Cake growled into the bed beneath her. Anon paused for a moment trying to understand what was going on, but immediately after he decided it would be better to not think about what was going on lest he start having second thoughts.
Mrs. Cake began to wriggle her behind in the air after Anon had paused in attempt to get his attention. Anon returned his hands to her plump rear and started to knead again. While making his way to the top of her rump Anon started to roll his knuckles into the base of her tail. Mrs. Cake let out a gasp. Anon was trying his best to ignore the noises Mrs. Cake was making but they were staring to grow louder and louder.
Anon had started to rub his hands along the base of her tail before Mrs. Cake jerked her flanks upward causing Anon's hand to rub against her dripping mare-hood. It was at this moment that Anon had remembered what Mrs. Cake had asked of him earlier. Reaching underneath her rump Anon filled his hands with Mrs. Cake's firm breasts. This caused Mrs. Cake to push her flank even further into the air and bury her face into the cushions beneath her. Anon began gently squeezing Mrs. Cake's teats and pinching the gently around their base, soon after rivulets of milk ran from her nipples. This continued for several minutes as Anon tugged an gently milked the lactating mare, but eventually Anon decided to ease up unsure of how to take Mrs. Cake's muffled groans and occasional shivers.
As Anon began to slow down Mrs. Cake looked up at him and pleaded, "Again, this is nice and all Anon, but it's only worsened my 'itch'."
Dumbstruck Anon finally put two and two together. Running his up toward Mrs. Cake's moist lips Anon felt his hands grow slick with all of the feminine juices covering Mrs. Cakes backside. He found her button and pressed gently onto it. Mrs. Cake bucked back in response pressing herself deeper into Anon's touch. Anon now found his hands tracing along her mare-hood, stopping at her clitoris to gently flick it, tug, and press down on it before continuing his cycles. Then it happened, Mrs. Cake had been rocking her hips trying to coax Anon's hand into her pussy because he didn't seem to be progressing fast enough and she could not longer bear to wait, four of Anon's finger's slipped into her entrance. Mrs. Cake could feel how all of Anon's previous teasing had caused her to be on edge, because when he had begun to rub along her inner folds a pressure quickly began to build up deep inside her. Eager to not let Anon slow down she rocked her hips faster and clenched her walls around his digits.
Anon had four fingers inside a horse. He had been tracing along her vulva in attempt to avoid doing this, but apparently he had to actively work on getting Mrs. Cake off. Throwing everything he knew to the wind Anon began to press his hand against Mrs. Cakes now clenching walls as he rubbed vigorously, filling the room with loud squelching noises. As he curled his fingers and pressed them hard into her soft flesh he started to tease her clit with his other hand. Mrs. Cake began to quiver again as pleasure washed over her body. Apparently in Anon's attempt to avoid fingering the mare he had caused enough build up to make quick work of Mrs. Cake's first orgasm. She clamped down tight onto Anon's fingers and pressed herself into the bed as she rode out her orgasm panting and moaning all the while.
Once Mrs. Cake fell limp on the bed Anon attempted to remove his fingers from the mares wet cunt. But upon doing so he found she had a death grip on them. Turning to face him Mrs. Cake smiled a wicked grin before saying, " Oh Anon, we've only just started. You were so mean and teased me so much..."
A couple of hours later the majority of Anon's body was covered in mare cum, his fingers were sore, his ears were worse for wear, and his left hand was still inside Mrs. Cakes mare-hood. Slowly he felt her pussy walls ease up and pulled his hand out with an audible pop as another gush of mare cum spurted out from Mrs. Cake's pussy. She was now breathing heavy and sighed before she started to wobble out of the room.
Anon blinked in confusion still processing the fact that she had rubbed her cunt on his chest as he massaged her withers, she had grind herself on his hands as he nibbled her ears, she had even asked Anon to finger her ass. He had fingered her ass, her cunt, tugged her teats, and was exposed to her intoxicating aroma all while not being allowed the pleasure of getting off. Yup, he was definitely in hell.
Soon after getting more than well acquainted with Mrs. Cakes lady bits, Anon was scared and confused by how strong these ponies were, how much they could cum, and how much fluid such a small mare could produce. He had gone through four towels and Mrs. Cake was still leaving a trail of cloudy liquid as she trotted giddily toward the spa’s showers. Not only that but Mrs. Cake made so much noise. During the regular massage and even while he worked her teats she would moan and grunt into the bed, occasionally biting into pillows, but when Anon started to scratch her "itch" she started moaning and pleading like a mare in heat.
Screaming internally Anon made his way out of the massage room hoping no one would be waiting for his services.
He was dead wrong, there was a line of blushing mares, and even a few stallions, bubbling with anticipation as they awaited Anon’s services. Meanwhile, outside of the spa was Vinyl Scratch still talking to whoever would listen about Anon the “handy-stallion” who had scratched her so lovingly and excellently.
Beside Vinyl stood a fuming Octavia staring intently into the spa. When she saw Anon looking at Vinyl while wearing a mixed expression of confusion, frustration and shock she approached him.
Octavia's face went bright red and her nostrils flared upon arriving before Anon. The smell coming from him had caused her to shake her head to clear it before asking, “Anon, what did you do for Vinyl exactly?”
Anon responds in his personal trademark of stupid, “I-I don’t know what you mean Octavia.”
Octavia pressed the matter further, “Where did your “hands” touch on my mare-friends body Anon!?”
Feeling like Octavia already knew the answer Anon caved. He couldn’t afford to cause a scene in the spa, he had only been working there three days and just learned he may be able to get a permanent position.
“I scratched her pucker.” Anon admitted with a mumble while looking guilty and defeated.
Octavia pouted, “And why was I not part of it?"
Anon was about to bring up how Vinyl said it would be okay her when his brain finished processing what she had said, “Wait, that’s what you’re mad about?”
Octavia responded, “Vinyl has been bragging about how good it felt to anypony who would listen for days. At first I chalked it up to her being well, Vinyl. However, lately I’ve started to wonder how it could have felt and got curious. So now I’m here.”
Anon inquired, “And?”
“Oh, right. And I would like for you to give my -” Octavia coughed to clear her throat, “ - love tunnel as it were, a through rubbing.”
Anon’s jaw dropped to the floor while his mind crashed and burned, “What the hell. Do these ponies not understand how weird asking something like that is!”
With that Anon turned, walked away, and approached Aloe and Lotus with a variety of emotions welling in his throat, “What the actual fuck? Why are all these horses asking me to finger fuck them!”
Lotus responded while snickering with a small smile on their face, “Anon it’s heat season, haven’t you seen the sign outside, we offer relief, relaxation, and gentle snuggles to make anypony forget the stresses they may feel during this time of year. I thought that was why you signed up during heat season, to help ponies to relax.”
“Yeah, I know about the sign, and I thought it would be easy work, and up until now it’s been pretty good. But there’s nothing about doing what I just did to Mrs. Cake on that sign. I mean there’s no way I’ll be able to look at her the same way again.”
“Anon, deary, didn’t you hear, snuggles, snuggles. It was the last one we mentioned.” Aloe emphasizes Lotus’ response.
Anon gave the mares a deadpan expression as he responded, “That’s not what snuggling means.”
They reply in unison “Yes it is.”
“No it isn’t.”
“Yes it is.”
“No, it…”
Anon is cut off by a now clean Mrs. Cake hitting him across his ass with a hoof. He turned to face her as she sashayed away tail high in the air revealing her moist slit, hips swaying to and fro while she turned to face him with a sultry look through half lidded eyes.
Anon thought aloud, “What the hell...”
Anon didn’t even have the luxury to respond anymore as everypony in the spa’s waiting room had just seen what had happened and was now wolf whistling at Anon or stamping their hooves on the floor in approval.
Aloe and Lotus interrupted Anons stupor. “See, everypony came here expecting “snuggles” and they’re all eager for you to relieve and relax them into a blissful afterglow. Just like you did for Mrs. Cake and Vinyl.”
Anon sighed figuring he should at least find out what this work had to offer, “What are the benefits of being a permanent worker?”
This time the large muscled pony who did deep tissue massages spoke up, “You get to keep tips, you’re trusted with house calls, you’ll get flexible work hours and only need to meet an annual quota of 50,000 bits, and this is all on top of the benefits you have as a temporary worker!”
Anon returned his attention to Aloe and Lotus, “So I need to finish today’s work to be paid for today right?”
Once again they responded in unison, “Yes.”
“And if I help with today I can become a permanent worker?
“Yes.”
Anon brought up another question, “Alright, how much does “snuggles” cost then?”
Lotus smiles at him, “500 bits an hour.”
Anon choked on the information as his brain tried to swallow what he had heard. “But I was with Mrs. Cake for at least three hours!”
“Yes, and she tipped you 100 bits for your assistance. She said something about Mr.Cake not being as young as he used to be and really needing this.”
Anon steeled his resolve, he knew what he had to do.
Having already ruined his eyes, hands, and quite possibly his soul. I’m not sure if helping animals get off gets you barred out of heaven, but judging by how shit has gone down already God was not part of this equation anyway.
Anon decided to throw away what little humanity he had left. He would have to “snuggle” 100 hours worth of ponies every heat season so that he wouldn’t have to work for the rest of the year.
Anyways, he was sure that after Mrs. Cake shit couldn’t get any weirder.
He was wrong. Yeah that’s definitely a theme here.
A pony who went by the name Twilight was into some really rough “snuggling”, and while she had waddled out with a huge grin plastered on her face, she was probably sorer than when she had walked in.
Another pony named Lyra payed for five hours of “snuggling”. Four of which she spent studying his hands trying to figure out what type of “massages” they would best be suited for. She even begged and offered him a generous tip to see the rest of him so she could determine what it was she wanted to do. Although Anon didn’t like the idea he reluctantly played along at the prospect of another big tip. Eventually Anon had his hands rubbing deep along her withers and back working out all of the kinks that came with moderate levels of stress.
Wait, that was it, just a regular massage, what fucking bull…
“Shut up narrator, this isn’t your story it’s mine now keep going.”
Who the hell are you?
“Shut up and keep going or I’ll use leave this pastel colored hell and take my story with me.”
Anon?
“I swear to god I’ll do it!”
Another pony named Cherilee kept coming back day after day for the whole heat season. The problem was she made a bigger mess than Mrs. Cake and let the whole town know what was going on as she shouted instructions for him to follow. Apparently she was a teacher and built up a lot of stress while dealing with the fillies and colts all day so she needed some “snuggle” time to unwind. Her shouting instructions must have come naturally I guess, maybe, never-mind, I’m not even going to pretend to know.
And then there was Soarin. That was something that just was not okay, I mean who uses pie like that…
Afterward (Kind of)
Apparently Lotus and Aloe had in fact never thought of using the spa for that kind of relief until Vinyl and Mrs. Cake talked with them about their new employee, Anon. Vinyl told them her story and how good he was with those things he called “hands” and Mrs. Cake said she would pay anything to get a similar “itch” scratched.
With that Anon was played by Aloe and Lotus, and was encouraged to “snuggle” for money. Not only did Aloe and Lotus not expect him to do it, they didn’t expect the idea to catch on with other ponies either.
I on the other hand beg to differ. I mean have you seen Ponyville hardly a stallion in sight, this idea was practically a gold mine. Now the spa has a sure source of income, during what used to be a slow time during the year if I might add,...
Anon interrupts the narrator, “You may.”
Are you going to let me tell the story or not?
He replies bitterly, “Doesn’t feel good to be interrupted does it?”
thanks to everypony swarming to the spa bubbling with anticipation, eager to “snuggle.”
Another funny thing about snuggle, it was Aloe’s quick wit that turned what used to be a soft nuzzling for couples who wished to strengthen their bond into what was basically foreplay. Thank Celestia Anon was oblivious and stupid enough to play along, if not I have no idea what this story would have become, some Rarity clopfic probably...
Anon cries out only to be ignored, “Wait, what!”
Anon now spends the entirety of heat season getting his hands dirty for everyone who walks through the spa’s doors. He made more than enough bits to sustain the spa until the next heat season, and thus Anon resumes drinking and lounging around ponyville’s streets wondering what he's going to do with his new life. Talking with the narrator as they downed a few ciders and working his magical hands to relieve the stressful life that was part of being a shitty writer…
Wait, who the fuck added this to the story?
Even though he had seen things, and done things he was not proud of, now Anon could drink and sleep away the day. Or so he had hoped. The damn ponies would always pester him for a fingering session while he was drunk, and Anon, being the impressionable drunk that he was, usually woke up beside some mare hands musky and sticky after what one could only assume was a long night of “work”.
Oh, and one time he woke up beside a stall…
“Alright, stories over!”
But what about the Rarity plot hole? Damn that’s a good pun.
“Write that shit later, you’re hardly even being coherent anymore.”
Author's Note
I apologize for this post, but I wrote it, and if I wrote something why not post it? On second thought, don't answer that.
