Queen of Hell, Pirates and Ninjas

Tamamo no Mae followed the twins through the city of Pandemonium, getting nods of respect from every Daemon they passed until they reached the palace. Tamamo no Mae had to admit that if Lilith wanted to make sure everyone knew who was in charge here then making her palace from the titanic polished bones of the previous ruler sent the message loud and clear. Satan was well and truly dead and she was the one who killed him and took everything from him.

As she entered the throne room she had to stop as she looked upon it. The room was built to insure that anyone who didn't get the memo from the rest of the palace got it loud and clear here. From the vaulted ceiling hung chandeliers made from the worst damned souls that lit the throne room with metal spikes that continuously burned with the sins of the damned they were driven through. The floor was covered with carpeting woven from Satan's own black hair. Upon the walls hung the skulls of every General of the legions of the damned, Daemon Lord, Prince of Hell, and Archdevil that tried to over throw her. But what truly drew Tamamo no Mae's eye was the giant horned skull caught in a silent eternal scream with the Queen of Hell sitting on her throne within the mouth and the stairs leading up to it made from the lower jaw. Her skin was as white as bones that had been bleached in the burning sun and her hair was as black as a starless night. Two hell hounds sat at the foot of the stairs and a dark skinned female Archangel with short red hair stood on the steps below her and to the side in full armor.

Tamamo no Mae then smirked and said, "Truly impressive, but it lays it on a bit thick if you ask me."

"I rule over Daemons, Fallen Angels, and the Damned who spent countless millenniums bashing their heads into the walls of Heaven at the command of an idiot." Lilith said with a laugh. "So forgive me, Yokai, if I have to use a sledge hammer to knock some scene into their heads since subtlety obviously goes over some of their brain damaged heads."

"Not at all, Demon, I have known plenty of lesser beings that would be dead a dozen times over if not for their immortality." She said as she returned the barb about what she was with the derogatory variation of Daemon, which Lilith ignored. "Though I am curious as to why an Archangel stands in your throne room?"

"Anna is the ambassador Heaven sent after I ended the war between Heaven and Hell on terms that were acceptable." Lilith said. "But what you really want to know is how will this affect what ever your plans are and if you will be facing an united front of both the western world's Heaven and Hell. So let us not waste time, but get down to what your plans really are and whether they will cause conflict between us or not."

"Very well." Tamamo no Mae said, "My normal plans are well known, but I have worked out a much better plan taken straight from the humanities own popular culture. Imagine a world where every magical being can live out in the open and the humans would, after the initial shock, adjust to it and even welcome it. A world where our immortality, wisdom, and experience would naturally allow us to take control and rule them and they would be grateful to us for it because we would have saved them from themselves. Even you would be able to walk openly as the Queen of Hell and they would chant your name instead of reviling you and cursing you."

"An interesting dream, but it is just that, a dream. The humans would panic and destroy each other with their nuclear weapons attempting to destroy us." Lilith said as she thought about it. "Then Hell would eventually be worse off than before with no new souls to power our technology. Those burning spikes burn their sins from their souls until they are purified, which we use as energy and then we release the purified soul to be reborn. Without them we would go dark in a matter of centuries and by then Pandemonium would cease to be a floating city, but a dead and abandoned ruin."

"Not if we demonstrate that we can destroy their weapons in midair, can shield entire cities from multiple direct blasts, and even render the radiation and elector magnetic pulses harmless." She explained. "Not if they see their best jet fighters and pilots out flown by beings without a plain and see a tank get ripped open and the crew pulled out unharmed another being. At that point every weak and powerless nation will be begging for our protection from the nuclear powered nations, offering anything to hire living breathing creatures out of myth and legend to work for them. Then there are the wealthiest nations who will be rushing to arm themselves in a new arms race that changes everything."

"So you want us to sell ourselves into slavery? I can guarantee you that all of Heaven would oppose your plan." Anna said, speaking for the first time in a beautiful contralto voice.

"Not at all, but the humans will believe it until it is to late." Tamamo no Mae laughed. "Do you really think I would willingly allow myself to be used like that. No, I draw my victims in with promises, but in the end they end up my thralls instead."

"Which brings us to the question of what do you get out of all of this? Because I do not believe for one moment you would do this out of the kindness of your heart or for any real worry about humanities future." Lilith pointed out. "Your disdain for human life and morality is to well documented for you to claim that. So what is it the great Tamamo no Mae get out of all of this?"

"Why power of course. I will be seen as a savior both amongst many of the humans and the magical beings." She then laughed. "These humans have a silly thing called PR and combining being a savior with a more sympathetic version of my story that paints me as less of a monster and more of a tragic hero would be just the PR campaign these humans eat up like candy. I believe the term they would use is an Edge Lord and I plan to use it to take power."

"Hmm... and what of your little feeding problem?" Lilith asked with a smirk. "I do believe eating children would be a deal breaker for the humans."

"I have thought about that and have a plan to gather the last few hundred children's souls I need to free myself of my deal. Once I have them I can pay off my debt and be free and will no longer need to eat them to keep all of my powers." Tamamo no Mae explained.

"Very well, but I need to understand more on your plan before I join." Lilith told her as they began working out the details of her plan.

Pipsqueak walked towards the mansion from the bus stop. Aria had promised to show him a real cutlass and her and Sonata would show him how real pirate sword fighting as well. As he walked he heard several people talking in one of those funny languages Aria and her sisters liked to say bad words in when ever he was around thinking he wouldn't figure it out. Not that Adagio did it much, she seemed to be more interested in avoiding questions about why they looked like a few of the people in some of his mum's boring old history books.

"Excuse me please, " A woman said from behind. "But would you know if we got off at the right stop for 567 Rich Way?"

Turning around Pipsqueak looked up at a tall Asian girl with blonde hair and in an odd red and white outfit. Behind her was three identical girls his age, another girl with brown hair who was dressed normal, and an old guy in funny green clothes and carrying something long wrapped in cloth. "Yeah... Are you going to visit Aria as well?"

"Why yes." She said, "I'm Koemi and we're on our way to visit all three of the sisters."

"Well OK," Pipsqueak said. "Just follow me." With that he started to lead the way.

"How do you know Aria by the way?" Koemi asked as they walked.

"Umm... Well I was kind of in the park after everyone laughed at me at school when I told them I was related to a really cool pirate named Yellowbeard. She kind of found me and when she asked I told her and she knew all this amazing stuff about him. Before I knew it she had taken me home and made me feel a lot better, still can't remember how she knew where me and mum lived." He thought about it yet again before shrugging it off. "Anyways, her and mum talked and then she just kept showing up and started teaching me all sorts of things about him and said if I learned all sorts of cool pirate stuff she would give me a treasure map that belonged to him and were only suppose to give to a member of his family that was worthy of his name. So now I come out here to their mansion every weekend and she teaches me all sorts of things."

"Really, like what?" One of the girls his age asked.

"Astronomy so I can navigate by night. All sorts of knots for tying a ship's rigging to tying a hook on a fishing line. How pirates wore eye patches over one eye so if they go into a dark room they just had to switch it to the other eye for instant night vision (only mum says I can't wander around with a patch on all the time), How to read maps and use a sexton and compass like Yellowbeard would have done. Why eating my vegetables is important and what happened if you get scurvy as well as first aid because pirates got hurt a lot. She also has been teaching me to fight like one with dirty fighting versions of fisty cuffs, savate, and other types of street fighting and navel hit and run tactics because pirates only 'fight to run away in order to sail another day, only when they do a pirate never fights fair because a fair fight is for sissies who can't handle their rum.' She always makes faces at Sonata when she says that last bit." He told her as the mansion came into view. "Oh, and today she's going to show me how they fought with cutlasses, but I'm not aloud to learn how to use one until my birthday next month." Finally they got to the door and he stopped before saying. "Umm... I'm suppose to go in and try to find her and sneak up on her to show her how good I'm getting at being sneaky like a pirate (not that I have actually been able to sneak up on her yet), but with you here I'm not sure if I should."

"Oh, but you said pirates don't fight fair and wouldn't a clever pirate hire four shinobi, a samurai, and a shrine maiden to help him." Koemi said with a bit of mischief in her eyes.

"Uh, what's a shinobi?" Pipsqueak asked.

"A ninja."

"But aren't ninjas and pirates suppose to be enemies?"

"Only if the ninja is hired to stop a pirate, but in this case you hired the ninjas use their sneaky ninja magic to help instead." Koemi said. "And the price is the look on Aria's face when you finally sneak up on her with our help."

"Umm... OK." Pipsqueak said before pulling his key out and opening the door, only he felt a breeze and when he looked only Koemi and the old guy were there. "Where did the others go?"

"Sneaky ninja magic." The old guy said with a wink. "You better hurry up or you'll miss the fun."

"Hey, who took one of my tacos? I had four here a second ago." Sonata yelled from inside followed by the sound of giggling. "Hey come back here with my taco!"

Slowly crawling into the living room, Pipsqueak felt a hand on his shoulder and looked as the brown haired girl pulled him behind the sofa as Aria walked past towards the kitchen. "Sonata I'm trying to get ready for Pipsqueak and.... What the? Why are you duct taped to a chair?"

From some where else in the house came a startled scream from Sunset Shimmer and Adagio yelling, "Come back here with my keytar!" and then another startled scream from Adagio this time before only the sound of giggling yet again.

Aria ran into the living room and was about to head down the hall when she stopped and yelled, "I don't know who you are, but I'm not falling for it and running head long into a trap." That was when she felt a hand on her elbow and heard Pipsqueak say, "Tag, your it."

Turning around slowly she found Pipsqueak standing there with Aiko, Koemi, a set of triplets, and an old guy behind him with a trussed up Sunset Shimmer and Adagio. Then Aiko took her picture with her cell phone and said, "Never expected him to hire ninjas did you?"

"A, kuso!" Was all she said.

Author's Note

You did not seriously think I would do the predictable thing for her plan did you Every plan she has had in her legend was centered around getting close to the ones in power and then either turning them into her thralls or replacing them and now she is in a nation where she doesn't even have to bother and with a plan that would actually work if you think about it.

This is Lilith, Adam's first wife. Guess The Serpent was better in bed since she left Adam for Hell to become the first demon.

And this is her after on hell of a make over.

Koemi in her Shrine Maiden outfit since her current identity is one.

Aiko has a better understanding of low profile than Koemi.

The Kama Itachi sisters in human form.

A, kuso! means Oh shit.

Also it is hard to find a good picture of a human version of Pipsqueak.