Unfriendly Recruitment Drive and A New Friend

Bobu watched the bus as it passed the turnoff and then smiled as one of the wheels blew out and the bus pulled over. From where he stood he could already see the driver was putting on a gas mask as the bus filled with gas. By the time the first tengu got to the door the guards were already on the floor from the knockout gas and quickly stripped them of their uniforms and took their places. He then moved into his position with three nekomatas and two dozen tengu as Dr. Stygian made the call to the Everfree Juvenile Detention Center while more tengu opened the windows on the bus and used their wings to fan the gas out of it after the driver, Shadowfright, had shutoff the gas tank.

By the time the van from the Detention Center arrived the extra tengu and gas masks were gone. Only no one noticed the three nekomatas slip through the gates before they closed and then reopen as he led the tengu into the detention center. The tengu quickly overwhelmed the guards and children alike while he yanked door after door off their hinges and the nekomatas cut all communications, aided the tengu with the only sign of real resistance, and secured the Detention Centers three buses. Within two minutes the van returned followed by the bus with a new tire. Six minutes after that four buses and a van left the Detention Center filled with the kids and under an illusion that made them appear to all be part of the Happy Times Tours bus line. The only thing they left behind was the unconscious guards and other staff members in the middle of the Center. From start to finish it took them just over 25 minutes and it was only the beginning.

Smelly Can, Mjolna, Silver Spanner, and Rare Find hid inside the dumpster they had been searching in their usual Sunday Dumpster Dives as they watched the strange people with over sized noses dragging away homeless people into nondescript vans parked at each end of the ally. The Canterlot High Unofficial Urban Explorers Club would have been caught to if Smelly hadn't noticed the vans and shoved them all into the dumpster. Then the lid was opened and Silver Spanner reacted quickly by spraying the woman with a long hooked nose with her pepper spray while Rare Find threw a half eaten pizza into the face of another. Mjolna was the first across the ally and leapt onto another dumpster and then to the fire escape ladder, dragging it down for the rest as they rapidly climbed to the roof of the building. Behind them were several of the strange people chasing them, but they all had had lots of practice being chased by store owners and cops. Without a single word they ran across the roof and leapt across the ally to the next roof and ran through the roof access door of the abandoned building. By the time the people chasing them got there they had already left the building and had scattered, quickly melting away into the rest of the city before meeting back up outside of the high school. Normally they wouldn't be worried, but something was way off about what had happened and they had to tell somebody.

Tamamo no Mae frowned while the tengu who told her about the four teenagers that had escaped when they had been rounding up homeless people. "I told you to avoid any normal people while grabbing up our guests." She hissed as she prepared for her meeting with Rarity at a cafe the twins had pointed out to her. The girl had been greedier than she thought and already read the scroll. Now she just had to finish setting her hooks into her and soon wouldn't have to rely on Bobu so much to help command her servants, but this might be a snag in her plan if it set things off before she was ready.

Ignoring the pathetic apologies from the tengu, she thought about it and realized any damage from this was already done. "We will proceed as planned, but be ready to leave if need be and revise my escape plan to include Rarity being spirited away via the secondary route if things go wrong. We are not truly committed just yet and can cut our losses here in favor of a larger and more populated city up to the point when we finally come out in the open in a way that cannot be denied." She said more in order to organize her thoughts than for the tengu who loyally acted as her personal assistant. The tengu might be better than her thralls, but only slightly better. If only she could have brought more oni and some kijos, but one was a finite resource she needed to contain the 'good' yokai in japan and the other had all disappeared without a trace after learning of a cyber vigilante using their name.

"How goes the preparations for converting our latest acquisitions?" She asked.

"We will be ready to begin conversion of the humans with in the hour and your five new lieutenants conversions began as soon as they arrived. On a side note, I wish to bring a girl from the Detention Center to your attention. Apparently she lead members of a local street gang in holding off my fellow tengu for four full minutes and was only brought down thanks to the nekomatas." The tengu said as she handed the photo of a girl with several bruises, orange skin, and purple hair to her.

"Impressive." Tamamo no Mae said. "Bump her up to be converted into a lieutenant and place her under Rarity once she is brought in fully."

"There may be issues with that due to..." The tengu then consulted her notes. "Scootaloo being part of Anon-a-miss along with Rarity's little sister, Sweetie Belle."

"We will go with it for now and use both of them to pickup the sister later, but if it becomes an issue transfer this 'Scootaloo' to me." Tamamo no Mae said.

"Yes, my lady," The tengu responded before asking, "And how shall we convert her into a yokai?"

Thinking about it she finally said, "Like two of the others prepare her conversion to become a Shinseidenai Daitengu with a mixture of drugs, alcohol, and human blood that has been super charged with magic. But unlike the others I want her's to also have an age and growth acceleration drug cocktail added in with that Basan killed and completely liquefied into the mixture until she is about 21 and then flat-line her and bring her back with the ritual." She then thought about it and said, "You have been as loyal to me as Bobu, so if she is successful I will grant you the next conversion and make you another of my generals next to Bobu and Rarity."

"Yes my lady." The tengu named Tomoyo said with a look of anticipation in her eyes.

Twilight held Spike as they floated through a chaotic place as a school of tuna fish sandwiches swam past them. There were floating islands and waterfalls that fell upwards. "This place makes absolutely no sense Spike."

"Why thank you Princess and to what do I owe the...." A voice said from all around before a giant mix-matched creature appeared in front of her with a giant magnifying glass and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and began examining her. "Either Celestia went with mine and Lyra's suggestion for Human Wednesdays or you, my dear, are in the completely wrong universe."

"W..Wh..What are you?" Twilight stuttered out as she held onto Spike.

"I, my dear, am a Pan-Dimensional Omnipotent being of about 10100 trillion years old, give or take an eon here and there and sideways twice on Sundays, called a Draconequus. I am also known as Discord, the spirit of chaos and I wish to say Welcome to the Multiverse!" Discord said as fireworks reverse exploded behind him and then exploded twice for good measure.

"Umm... Thank You?" She said as he placed her and Spike in a chair before shrinking down as he changed into a human in mix-matched clothing.

"Yes, welcome to the multiverse where you never know what is going on in the universe next door until you look, but be careful, some of them have absolutely no sense of humor." With that he pulled down a movie screen out of nowhere with angry chickens dressed in uniforms clucking angrily on it that got a giggle out of Twilight. "I mean I turn all of the nuclear weapons in one world into canned bird feed and solved world hunger for them and instead of thanking me they said a lot of really mean words.... At least I think they were words." He then let go of the screen which disappeared. "Now since I'm BFF's with the living embodiment of kindness and (for reasons I'm not going to reveal just yet) I like you Sci-Twi girl from universe 671975 I'm going to help you out with my Phenomenal All Mighty Transdimensional Powers. So marinate in that chair while I serenade you with the possibilities."

Well Empy had his forty sons
Megatron had his Decepticons

Suddenly Twilight found her chair surrounded by Space Marines and Giant Robots all pointing guns at her.

But missy you in luck 'cause up your sleeves
You got a brand of magic never fails
You got some power in your corner now
Some heavy ammunition in your camp
You got some punch, lasers, A-bombs and how

Then suddenly Discord was there punching them out as he kept singing.

See all you gotta do is call my name
And I'll say
Miss Sci-Twi, girl
What will your pleasure be?
Let me take your order
Jot it down
You ain't never had a friend like me
Life is your coffee shop
And I'm your barista in deed

With that he handed her a latte and a bone to Spike while wearing a Starbucks apron

C'mon whisper what it is you want
You ain't never had a friend like me
Yes girl, we pride ourselves on service
You're the boss
The queen, the princess

She suddenly found herself wearing a crown and Spike's bone became a beef jerky scepter with a unicorns head on it.

Say what you wish
It's yours, true dish
How about a few more Muffins?
Have some of column A
Try all of it thru to column Z
I'm in the mood to help you girl
You ain't never had a friend like me
Can your friends do this?

Suddenly there was Einstein, Newton, and Galileo holding out autograph books to a blushing Twilight.

Do your friends do that?

The scene around them became a stadium full of people cheering and waving 'We Love Sci-Twi' signs

Do your friends pull the Enterprise D out their little hat?

Above the stadium was suddenly the Enterprise shining spot lights down on them.

Can your friends go poof?
Well, look at that
Can your friends go, beam me up, let 'er rip
And then make you up and disappear?

Suddenly she felt a tingle and found herself in the captains chair of the Enterprise with an irritated Jean-Luc Picard standing near by glaring at two Discords who were high-fiving. Finally he threw his hands in the air and headed for his ready room until things made more sense.

So dontcha sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers
You got me bona fide, certified
You got a God for your Cosmic Charge Card Affairs
I got a powerful urge to help you out
So what-cha wish?
I really want to know
You got a list that's three parsec long, no doubt

Suddenly there was a star map on the forward view screen with earth and a dotted line to a nearby star she recognized marked 'planet with really friendly advanced aliens here, bring earth anime they love it.'

Well, all you gotta do is call like so - and oh
Miss Sci-Twi, girl, have a wish or two or three
I'm on the job, you cutie pie
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
You ain't never had a friend like me
You ain't never had a friend like me, hah!

Once again everything changed and she found herself in a comfortable chair in a cozy living room with Discord and a butter yellow pegasus who then looked at Discord and asked in a quiet voice, "Um...Do I really, if you don't mind that is, want to know?"

Author's Note

Dr. Stygian

Due to there being no Equestria Girls versions of these characters I am putting up their Equestria Pony-verse versions here.

Larry Shadowfright from the MLP comics

Smelly Can

Silver Spanner and Mjolna

Rare Find

Tamamo no Mae is not some two bit villain with a half-assed plan, she is smart enough to have planned ahead and use converted humans to flesh out her forces as well as fill in her command structure with local talent. She has also planned for failure and is ready to move to another city at a moments notice since all that matters is a definitive demonstration of real magic that cannot be denied or covered up.

Hopefully I got Discord at his best.

Not sure if Sci-Twi in Equestria counts as this becoming a Human in Equestria story.