Plans and Trolling

Tomoyo watched as Scootaloo writhed in agony from the pain of her body being force to grow and age at an accelerated rate. "Current rate of aging?" She asked the tengu monitoring her vitals.

"She is currently aging at one year per every 2 hours." The tengu responded.

"Current magical absorption?" She asked as she watched another tengu readjust her restraints yet again.

"1/10 of what she can absorb?" the tengu monitoring her said.

"Increase the feed and accelerate the process to a year every 30 minutes." Tomoyo said.

"But at that rate the pain will drive her mad and we run the risk of her going into cardiac arrest and flat-lining too soon." the tengu sputtered out.

"She began her conversion behind schedule and will miss the window of maximum opportunity for the ritual to work." Tomoyo said without even turning to look at her fellow tengu. "It is either accelerate the process or reduce the process to meet next month's window of opportunity and I highly doubt we will be afforded that luxury after the raid on the Detention Center, the rounding up of the homeless population, and that eventually some of the so called 'good' yokai from home will slip thru and come here to stop us. No, accelerate the process while preparing an injection of a cocktail of human medication and magic to be delivered directly to her heart to stave off cardiac arrest until the exact moment she is ready."

"Very well, but what of the potential insanity?" The tengu asked as he began increasing the amount of liquid being pumped directly down Scootaloo's throat and checked the other tube to insure her lungs were getting enough oxygen.

"Unavoidable, but it can be guided and redirected..." Looking away from the girl, as her writhing increased, and down at the files on the girl she then said, "Have one tengu imitate this Rainbow Dash and whisper into one of her ears that Scootaloo will never be good enough for her and break her need for this Rainbow Dash." Pausing to think about it she realized Scootaloo could be closer to a true Daitengu than the other two sadists being converted into Shinseidenai Daitengu ever would with a few pushes in the right direction. She was cunning, brave, creative, and quick thinking, traits the tengu actually prized. "Also have another tengu whisper in her other ear that only the tengu love her and that she must become faster, smarter, tougher, and better than the other two would be Shinseidenai Daitengu... Also use magic to both mildly stimulate the pleasure centers of her brain associate the tengu with joy and happiness and rewire her reflexes to be faster than normal."

"At once." the tengu said as he explained everything two other tengu while preparing the leads to attach to Scootaloo's head and down her spine.

Leaning down next to her head, Tomoyo whispered into Scootaloo's ear. "You better be worthy of the risk I am taking for you because if you are we will be the only family you will ever need. If you are worthy we will never betray you or abandon you. We will welcome you with open arms and ask only that you stand with us when all others would leave us to our fate." She then turned and left.

Rarity sat in the cafe as Lady Duckweed entered and Rarity couldn't help but gasp at the shear power and age she could now feel rolling off of her. Lady Duckweed couldn't help but giggle at the girl who sat there slack jawed before reaching out and closing her mouth with a single finger. "I will take your reaction as a complement." She said as Rarity blushed. "Though if I hadn't felt you regaining your magic yesterday I would have still felt your own power as soon as I walked through the door. You are absolutely radiant with magic and power."

"Yes, well darling, I feel even more powerful than I ever did with the Rainbooms." Rarity said before getting a sad look on her face, "I just wish I could show off my lovely wings and horn, the gorgeous armored ensemble, and my luxurious ethereal mane."

"It does sound lovely and you could, but with the panic it would cause amongst the normal humans it wouldn't be worth the hassle." Lady Duckweed said as the waitress brought her a cup of tea. Rarity gasped again when she noticed the girl serving them power and saw her eyes briefly flicker to blood red before returning to their original blue before she left. "It is really a pity with how many different species of magical beings walk side by side with humanity and have so much to offer to the world, but they can't because of fear." As she talked Rarity noticed others in the cafe. A boy pulling his tail back under his long coat, a girl with scales on her hands putting back on her gloves, even a girl whose hair looked like feathers for a brief moment. "Imagine a world where one of the fire fighters can pull the flames from the building itself and absorb them as if it was nothing. Imagine a world where doctors can completely eradicate every case of AIDS in the world within a week with a single spell. Imagine a world where humanities most powerful weapons are rendered obsolete overnight by magic and every nation on earth practically begging the magical beings to come out of hiding." She said with a smile, just waiting for Rarity to point out the seemingly obvious flaw in her plan.

"But what is to prevent them from just rearming with magic?" Rarity finally asked.

"Nothing, but that's the beauty of such a plan, magical beings have extremely long life spans and even the most reclusive ones have seen the horrors of war up close and personal as well as having vast experience with politics and society in general. The humans will invite us in thinking they will out smart us, but in the end they will find that it is us who out smarted them. Once we are out in the open we will slowly work our way deep into every facet of society including fashion, which means being a magical power house will make you the height of fashion and completely overshadow any youthful indiscretions you may have had or will have in the future." Lady Duckweed explained. "Take America, can the average American name me all of the top 100 scandals from last year? No, they are too busy following the latest celebrity divorce or the latest shocking court case that has gripped the country's short attention span." She then got a serious yet sad look on her face. "That short sighted attention span is also what will doom humanity in the end and leave every magical being left to rot on a ruined world. Every single human you know who hasn't gained enough magic will most likely be dead in less than twenty five years and they will most likely be the lucky ones. At least that is what will happen unless my last ditch gambit works before those who would gladly see the world destroyed and left in ruins seal me away again for another couple of centuries or out right kill me while draping themselves in the mantle of the heroes." She then used a trick to cause a few tears to roll down her cheek before wiping them away. "The truly tragic part is that one of them is my own little sister, tricked into betraying me along with her girlfriend." She then waited once more while dabbing fake tears to see if the bait of a tragic story would draw out the romantic in Rarity.

"Oh my," Rarity said as she moved around the table and hugged Lady Duckweed. "What could have caused them to turn against you?" She never noticed the brief 'gotcha' smile as they hugged.

"I left her in a temple where she would be protected while I sought a way to lift a curse from myself." Lady Duckweed told her as she returned to her seat. "Unfortunately by the time I returned she had been kidnapped by some evil magical beings and brainwashed into believing I was a horrific monster. They then tricked me into a place where I was sealed in a death like state for centuries, maybe even millenniums because I can't remember, to prevent me from seeking them out and stopping them from committing atrocities under my true name while they fed upon the suffering and pain they had created. By the time I broke free she had been completely turned against me and her girlfriend believed the horrific legends about me that they had created over time under my name in Japan, China, and India." She said painting a vague picture she had been working on to sell herself as a tragic hero in the media and using the silly ideal of an Illuminate type group to blame everything on while using the girl as her test run. "The worst part is I never learned who they are and have no ideal how many there are or what they look like." Dabbing away fake tears again she said. "All I know is they will stop at nothing to bring about death and suffering, even if it destroys the world. Unfortunately they have also made it impossible for me to save the world without leading an army of what people would call monsters, and creating new ones, out in the open in a way that they can't cover up or deny." She then put a slightly fearful look on her face as she prepared the piece de resistance to win Rarity over to her side. "I do have a confession to make, I didn't come to Canterlot just to help you, but to also ask for your help. I've had to do horrible things to stay ahead of them and to create my army, but it lacks leadership. I have turned six people into powerful magical beings to act as mine and my driver, Bobu, lieutenants, but I had always planned to ask you to be the third general and help us lead them when the time comes after the first time I saw you. I can feel that destiny has marked you for greatness and wish to ask if you would help us save the world from itself and them by joining our cause and standing by us when the time comes to rip away the mask and reveal magic to the entire world?" She could tell the line about destiny and greatness had hit the mark and stroked her ego just right as well as the ideal of leading an army to save the world played to her vanity, but it was still touch and go and she wondered if she should have thrown in a line about her being the chosen one.

"Why of course I will help you how ever I can, but I doubt I will be of much use since I wouldn't no the first thing about leading an army darling." Rarity said.

"You will be in charge of the reinforcements, directing them towards where we need them the most, and using your magic to keeping our main interest safe." Lady Duckweed said.

"Main interest safe?" Rarity asked.

"We need maximum impact for this to work and in three days Senator Orange and two dozen other Senators will hold a press conference in front of your school on the anti-cyber bullying law they are pushing in the senate and since there are many that think she will be the next president every news network will be covering it live." She explained. "We plan to reveal ourselves during the press conference to spark a response from the police and then overwhelm them and both the national guard and the military they will send in afterwards in such a way that shows the world what magic can really do. The main thing is keeping the Senators safe and alive since if they dies our chance of peacefully resolving this will go right out the window afterwards. Right behind them is protecting the students and keeping our escape route open."

"Escape route?" Rarity asked. "What escape route?"

"Let me tell you about what is underneath the city." Lady Duckweed said as she pulled out a blue crystal shard.

Princess Celestia was enjoying her Sunday off in her garden as she didn't have to listen to the nobles in court or have to deal with whatever new threat decided to crawl out of the Everfree. It had been a long established tradition that unless it was an absolute emergency none of the Princesses were to be bothered on Sunday and Moonday and that court would not be held until Tuesday morning (or Tunaday as it was slowly being returned to in honor of it's patron deity, Discord, who had named it). She paused to smell a rose while considering the fact that some of the old ways were returning with there being more than just her now. Just last week she saw Wednesday was being referred to on an official document as Weddedday in honor of Cadence and rumor had it that renaming Friday as Friendsday to annoy Twilight had begun as one of Discord, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash's jokes in Ponyville, but was rapidly gaining support throughout Equestria.

She had been about to reach out and eat the rose when a familiar green flame appeared above her head. Catching it in her magic she remembered that Twilight was in the Crystal Empire visiting Cadence and Shining Armor and Spike had been told to contact her immediately if there was any emergency. Opening the letter she read it and then reread it before dropping it and calling for her Royal Guards.

Princess Celestia,

Come quick, Discord has kidnapped Twilight, turned her into a human, and brainwashed her into not remembering any of us. He has now taken over the castle with Lyra, Derpy, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy and just before he tossed me out the cutie mark map lit up with two of Twilight's cutie marks and the magic mirror was acting up as well. Please hurry.

Spike

"Um...Discord? Are you sure this is a good ideal?" Fluttershy asked as she looked at the strange red costume he had put her in.

"Trust me, if I know anything this will get Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and the other Twi here in no time." Discord said with a smirk as pinkie went past them again with a loud giggle. "Besides, this will help you get over your recent little incident by bringing part of it out and giving you some control over it. You might even realize it can be fun to embrace the madness from time to time."

"I'm not sure, but I did promise to try it." She said as she readjusted the hat once again.

"I guess that will have to due." He said as he booped her nose before adding the sunglasses as her ears suddenly became fuzzier while she giggled.

Turning once more towards Canterlot, he was greeted with the sight of a rapidly growing cloud coming towards them and reached down and pressed play on a giant boombox.

The others quickly moved to their positions while he insured the sound proofing spell was working on the library where Sci-Twi was reading while she waited for him to 'summon' someone to help send her home. With a snap of his fingers he was holding thousands of guns and began firing pillows at the on coming army of royal guards while laughing like the lunatic he was as they fell into giant cakes and pies that appeared below them. He let the princesses get closer before nailing Celestia with life sized plushie of herself and dropping her into a pile of muffins.

Celestia was just digging her way out of the muffins when a card appeared before her.

Dear Sunbutt

This is to inform you that I am here by invoking the 'Test The Royal Guard Readiness' clause of my parole.

DiScOrD

P.S. Watch out for Derpy, she is a little crazy when it comes to one type of bake goods, but you should be able to figure it out.

She then heard the front doors of Twilight's castle slam open and looked at what was in the door and said,

The next thing she knew the gray pegasus in the machine said,

Realizing there was no getting out of this she pulled herself out and motioned for Derpy to come at her saying, "Bring it!" With a smile on her face they both raced at each other.

Luna dodged several pillows as she got closer to the castle before being teleported inside and into a strange costume.

A card then appeared in front of her.

Dear Moonbutt

Yada Yada Yada I'm invoking 'Test The Guard Readiness' clause. Enjoy fighting Flutterbat Alushy in an epic pillow fight while cosplaying as Mare Do Well.

Discord

PS As Flutterbat Alushy she is a lot braver and more aggressive.

PPS Incoming.

Luna blinked for a moment while wondering about that last part when a huge pile of pillows fell on her and she climbed her way out just in time to hear a very demented laugh. Turning she saw Fluttershy dressed in red with a very demented smile.

"Shall we dance Princess Mare Do Well?" She asked before flipping a pillow in the air and then spinning and flicking it with her tail, sending it right straight into Luna's face.

With a hidden smirk Luna then levitated several pillows and said, "Very well... Have at thee!" Before sending them all at Fluttershy who sent them straight back with bucks and tail flicks.

Cadence tried to fly down to help her aunt as Derpy suplexed her into the side of the castle, but was teleported to somewhere inside the castle and into a costume involving a long black robe and a lightsaber from her and Shiny's favorite movies. She was looking at it when a card appeared in front of her.

Dear Cadence,

I am invoking the 'Test the Guard Readiness' clause. Also today is Lyra Heartstrings birthday and she is a Star Mares fan and wanted a lightsaber dual. Don't worry they only tickle a little, but you should have some fun with this against her.

Discord

Post Script: Your the Sith so just do your best King Sombrero impersonation.

Cadence thought about it as she summoned a mirror to see herself with and then messed her hair up a bit to look the part.

Finally she ignited her red lightsaber and sent the mirror away and called out, "I can feel you through the force Jedi. Come and I shall show you the true power of the Dark Side, which I am a mistress of."

"A mistress of evil, Sith." Lyra said as she stepped out into the open and ignited her own lightsaber.

"Then come Jedi and we will see who is more powerful in the force." Cadence said before they rushed at each other with laughter.

Unlike the other Princesses, Twilight kept her eyes on Discord and waited until he was about to snap his fingers before teleporting behind him. Only she found herself caught in his magic as he turned and said, "Nah ah ah, though I do give you props for thinking of that."

"Let me go Discord and surrender." Twilight growled. "And give me back my castle!"

"How about no since what I am doing is perfectly legal." Discord said as pulled out a scroll from mid-air and read, "'As part of Discord, the spirit of chaos, parole he is aloud to invoke clause 32.19a at any time of his choosing within any duly recognized government building and is aloud to recruit any law abiding citizen to aid him in the performance of his duty under clause 32.19a until the conclusion of clause 32.19a via a randomly selected challenge between a predetermined defender and the first sufficiently high enough ranking attacker to reach Discord and be told what the challenge is and who his champion in this challenge is."

"Wait, 32.19a is for testing the royal guards readiness, not taking over my castle." Twilight pointed out.

"Yes, but as the fully and legally recognized Princess of Friendship your castle is a duly recognized government building and as a Princess you are of high enough rank for me to tell you that the challenge is a game of tag while wearing a costume from a video game." He told her while slapping a costume on her. "All you have to do is tag one mare and the test is over. Of course I did have to give her two working items from a video game to make it fair against an alicorn."

Twilight looked at her costume and then gave him a look, "Half-Life, really?" She then sighed and asked, "Fine, who is your champion and what did you give her?"

"Hi Twilight!" Pinkie Pie yelled as she raced passed in her costume shooting out two portals and then jumping into one and exiting out the other in a room with an open window. "Bye Twilight!"

"...You gave Pinkie Pie a portal gun and long fall boots?" Twilight asked in disbelief as he let her go.

"Yes and she has proven to be very adapt at using them." Discord said with a grin while counting down on his fingers. As soon as he hit zero she let out a scream before rushing off after her.

Author's Note

What do you think? Is Tomoyo one of the few tengu who can think ahead or is she playing with fire?

Lady Duckweed/Tamamo no Mae is a master manipulator who has charmed kings and emperors alike and now she is playing Rarity like a harp from hell. Also she isn't telling Rarity the whole plan, but enough to make her think she is and then distract her with a shiny.

Discord Epic Level Troll: 350,004
Royal Guards: 0