Chapter 15: Falling in Reverse

"So just breathe, it's almost over, and don't let the monster in your head become your fears..."

“Come on, Daring! What’s the big deal? Nobody’s that heartless!”

“I wouldn’t be so sure…”

Braeburn rolled his eyes and closed the book, setting it back on the desk. He took out a sheet of paper and began to write.

“Dear Daring,

Listen, I know things have been hard for you lately. I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but just hear me out. I feel like I’m the voice in your head now. I just want to help you, to let you know that everything will be alright. But what I’ve said, it’s made you feel scared. And that’s the problem, I’m scared too.

So here’s to you and all the problems we caused. All we ever wanted to do was follow our dreams and avoid all these problems, but they showed themselves anyways. I once told my cousin that I felt like I was drowning in my thoughts, and I think that’s something that won’t change. It’s hard to stay afloat in your own head when all your thoughts become monsters.

Monsters. Funny how a simple thought can turn against you like that. Like one stray word drags you down. And when it does, it seems like nopony around even notices. It’s a strange feeling, one that you feel deep in your chest. It’s like your insides are hollow, and you can’t even breathe. There’s a monster lurking in your head, one that no one else can see.

But… no matter how hard it seems, you can’t let it become your fears. If you do, it doesn’t exist in your head anymore. You see it everywhere you go, and it’s in everything you do. You can’t let it happen, Daring.

All you need to do is breathe. It’s almost over, and these times can’t last forever. You can save yourself, and I don’t want to be the reason you don’t.

It’s hard, I know. Maybe I can’t be the friend that you want or the one that you need. But I realize there’s a difference now, between a friend you want and a friend you need. I’m figuring it out now, and I’m sorry I didn’t realize this sooner. It’s like a voice in my head started talking, and won’t stop. It’s annoying, sure, but it’s helping me figure it out.

That’s what I want to be now. I want to be a voice in your head, saying whatever you need to hear. A voice that will be there forever, no matter what happens. So that even if no one else is there to hear you, you always have me to talk to.

I think this is it for us, Daring. We’ve run out of things to say but we’re still talking. I think it’s time for us to move on. Daring… I hope you know a good thing when you see one, and that you’ll treasure it as much as those artifacts you hold dear. Who knows, maybe someday, you’ll find a pony just like you, one who can fly up high right next to me, and give you help when you need it most. I know I could never be that pony, no matter how hard I try. You’ll never be alone, Daring. I hope you know it.

Last time we talked, you mentioned something about falling. Like how gravity keeps pulling you down. I have to ask… did you ever take a moment to wonder if we’re not falling down? Like, what if we were… I don’t know, falling in reverse? Falling up?

I… I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about Vinyl’s song lately. The one that goes, ‘Love, not wrong.’ I think that it’s right, in so many ways. Love’s not wrong, and all we ever are is brave. Sure, love can hurt, but time heals all wounds…. Doesn’t it?”

He put the letter into the envelope. Before he could seal it, he hesitated. He opened the book, found the right page, and tore it out. He rummaged through his drawer and pulled out a picture. The picture showed himself sitting next to Daring under a tree, staring up at the sky and talking.

It was strange that after all the time they spent together, this was the only picture he had with the two of them. He slid the picture into the envelope with the torn page and the letter.

“Come on, Daring! What’s the big deal? Nobody’s that heartless!”

“I wouldn’t be so sure…”

From somewhere in his house, Daring’s voice flowed through the walls. “There are no ends, just grays and half-lives.”

Braeburn stood up, wiping a tear from his eye. “It’s time.”