Chapter 16: Wake Up

"So stay, you're not what you're hearing, cause I've been watching you changing, and who said you're one in a million.... Anyway?"

It was early. Or maybe it was late. Daring didn’t know anymore. Whatever time it was, the farm was silent. None of the Apples seemed to be awake yet. Daring stood on top of a hill overlooking the main farmhouse. She wanted to go down, knock on the door. It was what she wanted, but was it what she needed to do? Would it give her closure or pain?

“You’re up early.” Her ear twitched as she heard hoofsteps behind her.

“Hey, Brae,” she said without turning around. “So are you.”

“Ah was sittin’ on the roof again. Hopin’ to watch the sunrise.” He fell silent.

Daring nodded, looking up at clouds. “How did we get here, Brae? I can’t remember anymore.”

“Me neither. We sure did come far, though,” Braeburn noted.

Their minds wandered back to last year. Braeburn was trying to run from his pride and mistakes, Daring was looking for someone to talk to. Somehow, they had met each other and their skies seemed to burn after that.

It was beautiful, but it left them open to the tragedy and problems that made up life. Daring sighed. She never told him what had happened after she left last year, on the 23rd. Daring sat alone on the airship, staring at the picture she had taken from him. It was a strange feeling, being so high yet felt so low. She looked out the window, watching as the Eastern end of Equestria grew farther and farther away.

“I’m sorry, Brae.”

“Ah know.”

“I’ll make it all up when I get back, swear to Celestia.” She sighed, listening to the winds rustle through the orchard. “I don’t think this is a phase anymore. I thought that once I found my success, it would just be over, but… I don’t know, it feels like I’m going to keep looking for it.”

“Well, shootin’ stars all burn out at some point,” he answered. “Things that burn bright burn out fastest.” He shifted his weight, uncertain. “So… Amareica, huh?”

“Yeah. Things are different there, and I love it, but…. It’ll never be my home.” Her hoof went into her pocket, fiddling with the locket.

“Ah hear things are better there,” Brae said. “Ponies like to say the streets are made of gold there.”

Daring laughed. “Not exactly. Who knows, maybe we could fly out there someday.”

“Nah, my family would kill me if Ah ever went there. They don’t think too much of it.”

She squinted up at the sky. “They call it the land of opportunity…. Brae, I’m not scared of it anymore.”

“How do you mean?”

“The last time I went there… I don’t know, I was scared. Scared of what my family would say when they saw me again. Now… I’m just… numb, I guess.”

She glanced at Braeburn. He seemed to be a bit distracted. It was like he was miles away, and she had to shout through wind and noise to get to him. She settled down, lying next to the tree. Sitting in such a position gave her flashbacks to the time they had spent on the hill. As she looked back over those days, she couldn’t hear their conversations. But when she looked at his face, the message was clear.

“Stay, Darin’,” she imagined him saying. “You’re not going to leave me. This place, right here… it’s where you need to be.”

“Is it?” She wondered.

“I don’t understand. Why do your words mean so much to all those ponies out there, but they don’t mean anythin’ to me?”

Daring cringed.

“Stay, Darin’,” he continued. “You’re not what you’re hearin’. You know ponies like to say things, it doesn’t mean anythin’ until you let it.” Those words sounded so familiar to her. “Ah’ve been watchin’ you change, Darin’. Who said you were one in a million anyways?.”

She ended the imaginary conversation. “Hey, Braeburn? You ever look back on memories and feel like you’re only seeing what you want to? Sort of like tunnel vision?” she asked aloud.

“Yeah, actually. Ah think you only remember what you want to remember. It blinds you, in a way. Makes it so you can’t see what’s wrong. Makes you sleep right through the things that matter.”

“And then your dreams come to life around you, but so do your nightmares. They don’t come in your sleep anymore, they’re in your life,” Finished Daring. “Then you’re just sleepwalking, going through the motions without meaning. I think… I think that maybe if we took a second, and just kept talking, maybe we could figure it all out.”

“Maybe. Darin’, what’s on your mind? Ah’m sure you didn’t come all the way out here to watch the sunrise.”

“That’s just it, Brae. I don’t know what I’m thinking.”

“Ah’m scared for you, Darin’. I’m worried you’ll fall.” He looked into her eyes. “Ah’m worried you’re going to crash if somethin’ goes wrong. But… you’re not.”

“That’s comforting,” Daring scoffed.

“Sorry. Darin’, think of this all as one bad dream. It’s long and tiring, but it’ll be better when you wake up. When you take a step back and admire who you really are underneath all the words and costumes. You always struck me as the type of pony to live sunset to sunset.”

“And what does that mean?”

“Just means that sun washes our pain and fear away. It brings a new day, a chance to leave it all behind in yesterday. And no matter where you are, it’s shining somewhere. Just gotta get there.” He glanced up. “Even in Amareica.”

Braeburn sighed, looking at Daring. “Don’t you have an airship to catch?”

“Doesn’t leave for a while.” Daring looked back at him. The two fell silent, but noise seemed to form around them. They began to hear bits of conversations, words they had said in the past, thoughts they had. It all flowed together, a perfect symphony. It was confusing at first, but it began to make sense, forming intricate songs and melodies.

“Can’t you feel it? In the air?”
“It’s… 02:09, I think…”
“She was right, that was the last time…”
“Feels like Ah’m drownin’, really…”
“I’d rather put my faith in nothing than something I didn’t believe in…”
“Plans change... “
“Please don’t let me be alone…”
“... lost. Found?”
“This is who Ah am, huh?”
“LOVE!”
“You ever feel… like all you want is to be up there, right next to all the legends of Equestria? Like some sort of rockstar?”
“NOT!”
“To be remembered… that’s all I could ever want.”
“WRONG!”
“You’re not going to here forever, Darin’....”
“BRAVE!”

“Stay, Darin’. You’re not gonna leave me…”

“Sex and drugs and rock and roll…”
“I think there’s a lot to talk about...”
“Come on, your story’s not over yet…”

“It feels like I’ve been trying to dig my way out of the ocean…. “

“Just scribble me out…”
“I won’t fade…”
“LOVE!”
“Never liked circles much…”

“Can’t help but wonder…”
“Hey, if you fall, Ah’ll catch you…”
“NOT!”
“If… if there’s anything I’ve found out, it’s that life goes by fast…”
“This is the first time I’ve talked about this… and it actually feels good to get it out there. Makes me feel like… like if I kept talking, I’d find the answer to all my problems…”

“You’re not nocturnal...”
“WRONG!”
“Desert air ain’t gonna kill you…”
“Call it runnin’, call it quitin’. Ah just call it movin’ on…”

“Heard there’s gold out there…”
“BRAVE!”
“Huh. Ah remember it bein’ so much better than this,”

“This place, right here…. It’s where you need to be…”
“Ah don’t want to dream about better times, Ah want ‘em to happen…”
“An’ live like shootin’ stars…”

“… And punch a hole in the sky…”

“This bridge is burnin’ down. You don’t have to come back…”
“End credits are rollin’.”
“Ah’m more scared of what Ah don’t know than my mistakes…”
“Rather bury my past right next to my fears…”
“I’m just falling through the gaps, fading into dark. Just time that’s running out. I don’t want to fade. Please don’t let me fade…”

“So tired of running around in circles, you know?”
“Look, I’m sorry. It’s just… I guess I got swept up in my excitement…”
“I need to feel okay, and I’ll do whatever it takes to get there…”
“Ah’m not worried about you.”
“The interlude, I guess…”

“Ah don’t understand. Why do your words mean so much to all those ponies out there, but they don’t mean anythin’ to me?

“LOVE!”
“Time, I guess. We’ll be alright, Brae, trust me…”
“Then are you my friend or not?!”
“NOT!”
“Brae… I don’t know what I’m missing, but I’m missing something…”
“It’s better than dreaming.”
“WRONG!”

“Running on fumes now…”
“Ah’ve been needin’ a sad song, cuz…”
“BRAVE!”
“I won’t sleep…”
“I have nowhere left to go…”
“And… And I guess that’s it.”

“... And flood the light through to midnight…”
“I heard the words that you never said…”
“We had a good time, but… but Ah think it’s over now...”
“...Smokescreen from a cigarette…”
“You know, I don’t feel sad about it…. It’s just… it’s just weird…”
“...Exhale, we could never be what’s in our heads…”
“Catch me if you can, then…”
“...Elevation doesn’t matter now, it’s straight ahead…”
“Goodbyes don’t hurt me anymore…”
“...Sending shivers down my spine, life pirouettes…”
“... no more.”
“...It’s cool, we’re used to losing real friends…”
“So…. so long, I guess…”
“... Only ever feeling it in retrospect…”
“... And I don’t know where you’re going…”
“... And we were really breathing, not silhouettes…”
“Please don’t lose me now...”
“... Maybe in another dream, this would never end…”
“Nobody lasts forever. It’s over now…”

“Stay, Darin’. You’re not what you’re hearin…”

“No, I won’t sleep…”
“To last forever… To last forever is ridiculous, don’t you think?”
“Ah’ve fought off these demons before…”
“...Yeah. Ah think it’s ridiculous...”
“I want you to feel it before it’s gone…”
“...You think it’s ridiculous?”
“ I want to be the pony you think I am…”
“...Course. Everythin’ has an end.”
“...You can’t expect the past to repeat with the ending changed…”

“Love’s not wrong. All we ever are is brave…”
“We regret to inform you that…”
“... No more…”
“You can leave if you really want to…”
“Ah know this is hard, no one ever said it’d be easy...”
“How am I supposed to move on after I threw it all away?”

“Ah’ve been watchin’ you change, Darin’...”

“I can’t fight gravity anymore…”
“But what I’ve said, it’s made you feel scared…”
“So here’s to you and all the problems we caused…”
“...So don’t forget where you came from…”
“I think this is it for us, Daring…”
“Like, what if we were… I don’t know, falling in reverse?”
“...And we are never alone…”
“...What’s the big deal? Nobody’s that heartless!”
“There are no ends, just grays and half-lives…”

“Who said you were one in a million?”

“You hear it too?” Daring glanced over a Braeburn, a placid smile on her face.

“Yeah. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Really is. You think you could write that down or somethin’?”

“Couldn’t if I tried.”

Braeburn sighed. The sigh wasn’t a depressed, resentful one, but rather one of bliss. “Darin’, Ah know you think of yourself as a heartbreaker, as someone who leaves all their friends behind on purpose, but… You’re not. You’re so much better than that. Ah know it, and Ah hope you know it too. You know, bein’ with you…. It’s inspired me. Like maybe Ah could ride out into the desert and start a town.”

Daring glanced at Braeburn. “Brae… You should stay. You’re not what you’re hearing either. I don’t care what any of your exes or your family says, you’re one of the kindest, friendliest ponies I’ve ever met. You’re my best friend, Brae. And I’ve seen you change too, for the better. And who says we have to be one in a million? I think what we have is more like… One in infinity.”

“Heh… One in infinity.” The two ponies fell silent as the sun began to break the clouds high above them. Applejack and Big Mac were up already, somewhere in the orchard. For the first time, they didn’t feel lost anymore.

“Hey Brae?”

“Yeah, Darin’?”

“No matter how bad it seems… or how dark it gets, just remember, no nightmare lasts forever. You’ll feel better when you wake up, just remember that.” With that, Daring took out her locket from her pocket and handed it to Braeburn. The photo of the filly and mare had been replaced with a picture of herself next to Braeburn, sitting underneath a tree. “I’m sorry, and I’ll make it all up when I get back. Maybe then we’ll have our happy ending.”

“Ah don’t think either of us want a happy endin’ anymore, Darin’.” Braeburn removed a letter from his vest pocket and handed it to her. “Nothing’s going to drag you down or hurt you. You just keep chasin’ your dreams. And if you need me, Ah’ll scream as loud as Ah can just so you can hear me. Don’t you ever change because somepony told you to, Darin’. You’re so much better than that.”

The two ponies hugged. “So long, Braeburn,” Daring said, wiping her eyes.

“So long, Daring,” Braeburn answered, a sad smile on his face. Daring Do turned and left the orchard. Despite every bone in her body screaming at her, she didn’t look back. She couldn’t.