The Last Human
Status Report Day 1 (afternoon): This is the first report of many I Klithe Rozah will write in this journal and send to the Domain through an optical transportation crystal. My reports will detail my findings and interactions with the populace to help the Domain determine how to properly deal with this bazaar realm.
My first report unfortunately must state that the infiltration of Equestria's government as a servant gift from the Rozak Dominion, took an unexpected twist as my target of investigation, Celestia, decided to in turn gift me to her student as a sort of pity gift on the very day I entered the capital.
I have been gifted into the service of the star pupil of Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle who for some reason resides in a town outside of the capital. Before leaving however the Princess asked if I would allow her to place a spell on me so I could be of further use to her student. I am not sure why exactly a servant is being asked if it is fine for the master to do something to the servant. I reluctantly agreed when I was informed it is but a teleportation power I will be granted to aid the communication between the Princess and her pupil. I later found out when I arrived in the student’s town of residence that the spell makes me belch a magical fire that materializes letters sent by the princess. Rather disgraceful means of being a mail carrier but as a servant there isn’t much I can do.
While this is not the situation I planned for it is not a complete loss. This Twilight has offered me the opportunity to research any one topic of my choosing while I am her assistant. This all seems very strange to me but I might as well accept the offer. In my position I am now at liberty to assess the might of the Equestrian civilization under the guise of research of Equestrian society. I will study this power that seems to be codenamed Friendship and report my findings to the Rozak Dominion. I hope to make this stay short as it is rather unnerving that I am the only human allowed to stay in Equestria.
Report Day 23(evening): These dang ponies are clever. I have yet to crack the coding in their books and discussions of this elusive Friendship. However, the talking mutated horse I am to assist in research has started to trust me as more than an assistant. I will use this to my advantage in the quest to discover the source of this civilization's power.
Report Day 34(afternoon): I attempted to settle down and study some books on Equestrian society and its history but was interrupted by a friend of Twilight’s bursting into the library. I knew something was off with this civilization with all these talking animals but the one I met today made me confident that this dimension is insane. This pink friend of Twilight’s kept bouncing off the walls (at times quite literally) looking for her friend who was out on an errand.
After trying to avoid contact with this Equestrian for half an hour by retreating unseen to the basement, the noise going on upstairs quieted down. I waited several more minutes and headed back upstairs to continue my research. After rearranging books to read through I turned around to bring them to my desk and came face to face with the noisy devil. Staring at me with a startled expression on her face she squealed and rushed out the door at a near impossible speed.
I later came to learn from Twilight that that horse’s name was Pinkie Pie. Realizing that I might startle others who have never seen me she promised to make sure others wouldn’t barge in like that again.
Report Day 40(afternoon): My cover seemed to almost be blown today. Twilight Sparkle has taken an interest in studying me. So far she has only asked questions concerning where I am from and my memories of other humans in an ordinary curious manner. I decided to humor her and answer as none of those directly compromised my mission. I mentioned the earliest part of my life with my family in my hometown and couldn’t help but mentioning my brother Ivan. When it was mentioned I didn't hold friendships as important in my childhood (true as I was already in the care of the Dominion and had no time for such comforts usually) Twilight immediately began lecturing to me about the importance of friends and the power of "Friendship".
Further questioning by me has successfully led to Twilight agreeing to show me the power of "Friendship". Not sure however about if she was serious as she gave a wink at the mention of Friendship.
Report Day 45(evening): Apparently there was a misunderstanding the other day. Today Twilight Sparkle dragged me out of her library for the first time during my stay and introduced me to her friends. Apparently she has numerous friends but the one she introduced me today to are her closest of friends. In total they consist of five other “ponies” as Twilight stressed that her kind be called. Apparently she doesn’t take kindly to being called a horse. Most of the day consisted of her having me pal around with herself and her friends. This was a letdown as I am no closer it seems to discovering the secret weapon of this civilization.
After returning to Twilight's library that evening she mentioned the magic of Friendship again but proceeded to tell me about how she met her friends. Before she finished however, she ended up falling asleep leaning against me. Due to her actions and words I am starting to wonder if maybe early reports about this power, “Friendship,” were a mistake due to flaws in early translation magic. That or I am just being manipulated by these “ponies”.
Report Day 51(afternoon): I hate muffins. Despise the damn things. Today Twilight had me start going into town to help her run errands. As part of my list of things to do, she had me buy some food for a party she was having later with her friends. I imagine in part she has me doing this to get the town used to my presence along with getting me comfortable with others of her kind. The latter is definitely not happening anytime soon.
I was sent to a bakery to pick up party food such as cakes, cupcakes, and muffins. Wasn’t sure what use muffins were at a party in the afternoon. They seem to me more like a breakfast food. I got everything regardless including the muffins and started to head back to Twilight’s library. I noticed however that I was being followed. Unlike most “ponies” who just keep their distance, a gray “Pegasus” as they are called, was following me. Trying to ignore her I walk a bit faster only for her to match my increased speed.
Eventually I came to a stop at an intersection as a carriage crossed my path on the road. Upon stopping, the pegasus caught up to me, passed me by a little ways, turned around, and just plopped down right in front of me. I noticed then she was cross eyed and felt kind of awkward about the whole thing. She finally spoke and asked me if I had muffins in one of the packages I was carrying. I hesitantly told her I did and lifted the bag that had them to show her.
Next thing I know I am knocked flat on the ground sending the bags and box of cake flying up. The damn cake fell right on top of me and the bags fell to the side. From the corner of my eye I saw the pegasus shove her head in the bag with the muffins and proceeded to fly off… and into the house in front of me. I am still not sure what the hell I witnessed right then.
All I knew as I stood back up was I was covered in cake and had to go run more errands in town to replace what I just lost thanks to that ditzy mugger and those muffins.
Report Day 69(evening): Nothing to report concerning theoretical weapon codenamed Friendship today. Twilight however has been rather weird lately. Recently she has started to aid me in the tasks I perform for her already as an assistant. Not sure why I am here if she is deciding to do it herself. As far as I know she is still pleased with my organizational and study skills yet she still insists on helping me help her. Not sure of what to make of this. I don’t believe I screwed any of her projects up recently if at all.
Twilight has also asked me if I would want to change my side studies to Transmogrification magic. Though this could be useful to the Dominion, I am clueless as to why Twilight suggested it to me in the first place. Perhaps she just wants me to research something for her while she is busy with other projects. Either way it wouldn’t hurt looking at it a bit for future use. Not too happy with the thought of being turned into something other than human but being changed temporarily into a dragon sounds fun. Something tells me Twilight wouldn’t approve of such a choice though.
Report Day 74(afternoon): Well after several months here in Equestria I found that information about codename Friendship has been under my nose all along. Apparently some of the letters I have been sending to Princess Celestia on Twilight’s part have made mention of reports on Friendship. I haven’t been able to read over any of them but according to Twilight she gives reports somewhat regularly concerning Friendship.
That said something has been bugging me recently. These ponies I am staying with, in Ponyville, don’t seem to be the type to be involved with a weapon that we believe is named Friendship. These ponies seem to be more concerned with actual friendships than anything else. At first I figured Twilight was likely involved due to all her research she does alone at times and considering she is the princess’s star student. After some time here though, I am seriously contemplating if this threat my kind calls Friendship is actually just an aspect of this society where kindness seems to be prevalent. At least it is more so than back in the Rozak Dominion. Figures we would meet a new race of intelligent beings and project our ways of civilization and war onto a culture we in reality knew nothing about.
Day 89(morning): Contact was lost with the Rozak Dominion. All trans-dimensional communication crystals I have have stopped working. Either I have been cut off from the Dominion due to lack of progress or something horrible has happened. I fear the latter as the Dominion didn’t plan on just leaving this world in peace.
Day 104(afternoon): After several weeks of fruitless attempts to reestablish contact with other humans I, out of desperation, asked Twilight if she knew any news about the Gate of Isah, an ancient dimensional portal that spontaneously activated and connected our worlds a few years ago. She was hesitant at first but she told me that the gate suddenly closed due to an undetermined event in this reality, disrupting Equestrian magic everywhere temporarily and seemingly forever cutting off Equestria from the Dominion… and cutting me off from all other humans.
Day 118(midnight): Twilight Sparkle caught on quickly that I was devastated by being isolated as the lone human in Equestria and tried on several attempts to cheer me up by telling me I have her still even if she isn't a human like me. That doesn't change anything but I am kind of glad to hear this and even a little guilt stricken as I realized she really does care for me. I feel kind of horrible as I have been lying to her the entire time about who I am.
As if to just further drive that stake into my guilt ridden heart, she took me out to go see Celestia about the Gate of Isah which really led to nothing new. Twilight even took me to the Canterlot Royal Library and stayed up for days to help research anything to possibly find a way to reestablish a link to my homeland. I forced her to get some sleep finally after seeing her suffer from lack of sleep by catching a cold and stumbling around into bookshelves numerous times. It was just too much to ask of her when this isn’t her problem. Especially when she doesn’t realize it might in the end it might doom to her peaceful world.
Day 127(midnight): I have convinced Twilight that it is hopeless looking into getting me back home. I look back at this now and wonder what the hell I am doing. As an agent of the Dominion I am obliged to complete my mission which would mean I should be the one working non-stop to fix the portal. That aside, I am wondering why the hell I am the one telling Twilight it’s futile and not the other way around. Am I just giving up or do I not want the connection between our worlds to be reestablished? And why is she so determined to help me find a way home? Aren’t I in her service as a servant? I can’t make sense of these things anymore. I am going to get some rest for the night.
Day 167(evening): Today I began to look into a book detailing something called the Elements of Harmony which was mentioned to be related to Friendship by Twilight. I can’t believe I never found this damn book before now. Especially since I probably moved it around for Twilight several times considering where it’s located in the library. So much for my infiltration and espionage abilities.
Upon further research I found that certain values that Equestria holds dear such as friendship and generosity are a means of linking ponies to powerful artifacts known as the Elements of Harmony, which have, over the course of Equestria’s history, helped bring and maintain the peace in this land. I have finally found the power I was searching for yet… It doesn’t matter anymore. There is nothing I can do with this information and all this time alone in Equestria with no outside contact is making me wonder if I even would report this to the Dominion. I hate to say it but I have grown attached to the library here and in turn even Twilight and her friends to some extent.
Day 201(evening): Today Pinkie Pie got all of Twilights close friends together and threw Twilight a party to celebrate her birthday. It was nice really. I have been friends (sort of) with Twilight’s group of peers for a while now and it was fun talking to them. I kind of just stood back most of the time and watched though as the party seemed kind of frilly to me. With so much giggling and girl talk I can’t help but think back to my time in the Dominion where girls there would also gather and make a lot of noise. I considered it an annoyance then but now… I kind of like it. Not like I would partake in such giddy nonsense but for some reason seeing these ponies happy makes me smile. ….Confound these ponies for driving me to smile at the little things in life.
After everyone left, Twilight asked me when my birthday was and I was surprised to find that I didn’t know. I lost track of the days after a while and couldn’t give her an answer when she asked. Looking at my logs now and doing some calculations I found that apparently my birthday was today. I think I just stared at this logbook for 10 minutes dumbfounded by the coincidence.
Day 264(evening): It has been a while but I ran into my old rival again (somewhat literally). While out in Ponyville, I was doing some shopping once again and came across the gray pegasus that attacked me for muffins months ago. And of course I just had to be carrying muffins again.
Well, I decided the best course of action was to remain calm, smile, and run like hell. I managed to elude the pegasus for a while until she managed to crash into me while trying to fly past me. A quick recovery later I was on my feet running again. Next thing I know I am hit again in the back by the pony and am knocked over. Looking up I saw I was the actually the fortunate one as my attacker’s momentum carried her further forward and headfirst into the trunk of a tree.
I was tempted to just get up and leave before she regained her senses but I took notice to her bleeding head, and that she seemed to be in intense pain. Normally I would have said someone like her deserved it after the little chase we just had but her face looked so innocent in a confusing sort of way as if she really couldn’t ever mean any harm. Grudgingly giving in after a few seconds of contemplation I set my groceries down and tended to her wound with healing magic I had long since memorized.
After fixing the pony up we just kind of sat under the tree for a while and I just let her eat the muffins. I asked the Pegasus her name and she told me she is called Derpy. She seemed rather childlike for a pony of her age. Maybe she is just a bit… um special, but after spending an hour with her I couldn’t help but liking the unlucky pegasus. Heck I even told her I would buy her a muffin or two anytime we meet in town while I am shopping for Twilight. Like it or not it seems like I made a new friend in town.
Day 319(midnight): Apparently I never mentioned to Twilight that even humankind has the capability of using magic. Actually I never have really used human magic during my stay here outside of healing Derpy a while back. When I brought it up that there are enormous amounts of the Dominion resources dedicated to the study of the arcane arts Twilight pretty much tackled me and demanded I discuss everything about it. Now several months ago I would have looked at this as an interrogation of sorts meant to find out the strengths and weaknesses of the Dominion. I could see it all too clearly in Twilight’s eyes that this isn’t the case.
Over the course of my service as Twilight’s assistant it has become clear Twilight does research more than just for practical uses. She also does so just for the sake of knowledge. All too often when she would be doing research for such projects she would always have a sparkle in her eye that I imagine I had when I was learning about dragons as a child in the Dominion.
That very look was what was staring at me inches from my face today. I figured I might as well just tell Twilight everything I know as the Dominion seems to be forever lost to me. I explained to her for several hours the different schools of magic we had and how we usually require a catalyst to perform our magic much like how Unicorns use their horns. She was shocked when I told her that the largest school of magic was by far the school of War Magic. I in turn ended up explaining that while the world she is used to holds peace as normal aspect of life, my world’s history is written primarily through blood and conflict. I even shared with her lightly some of the memories I had of some of the battles that I witnessed firsthand especially the one that ultimately left me without a home or family and in the care of the Dominion. I figure I might have shared a bit too much as Twilight tried to say something and just then grew quiet.
Not a word was spoken for what seemed like an eternity of just sitting on the floor staring at the wall opposite of Twilight’s direction. After a while we just parted ways and turned in for the night. I might have been hearing things but I swore I heard her softly say she was sorry as she walked into her room.
Day 366(morning): Here I am again writing in this log book. I guess I have made this a personal journal of sorts… one I guess that I only write in once every few months now it seems.
Well anyway, on to my reason for writing. Yesterday I was surprised by Twilight and my friends when they put together a small celebration for me. I didn’t even realize it but as of yesterday I have been in Equestria for a whole year. I have to say I was rather touched by the whole thing. Since I never told Twilight I figured out when my birthday was she and her friends decided to make my day of arrival my replacement birthday for me. I had to laugh at the idea but I was happy they considered me enough of a friend to do this for me.
I was actually surprised by the number of ponies that showed up. All of those that I befriended over the course of my stay arrived including Twilight and her circle of friends, Applejack’s brother, Big Macintosh, her little sister Applebloom, Lyra, Time Turner, Derpy and numerous others. Who would have guessed a year ago that I would be friends with a pony much less a whole group of them?
Day 475(evening): Over a year has passed since I lost contact with the Dominion. A whole year and I am still recording logs in this damn thing. That is going to end soon though one way or another.
I have made friends with numerous ponies and have grown rather close to Twilight over the course of my time here. She decided to make me aide her in research for Transmogrification spells. I am still not sure exactly for what exactly. I wonder if she is doing it so she can satisfy her thirst for knowledge or to turn me into a pony like her. Either way I find myself happy helping her with this work as I have grown to enjoy her company.
Today however something has happened. While going through my belongings looking for a book I brought with me from the Dominion about our medicinal practices to show Twilight, I stumbled upon my communication crystals. Well I didn’t happen to just find them after so long. I heard them. The Rozak Dominion has managed to find a way to communicate with crystals such as mine and began delivering new orders. At first I couldn’t even comprehend what I was hearing. It has been so long since I even thought about the Dominion that this seemed like a dream to me.
My orders were as follows:
Due to a burst of mana within our realm, the Gate of Isah, as you know, has been severed. While we are unable to open the portal from our side it is determined that the arches of the Gate of Isah can manually be reactivated with a bit of applied mana on the large Arcane symbol on the base. Doing so thus allowing our Farseers to gain focus on the realm and reconnect the our gate in the Dominion to the Kingdom of Equestria. Your orders are to reactivate the arches and prepare for immediate extraction.
Orders to reestablish a connection and leave Equestria? I am sure the elders seek to leave this message vague but after giving the message some thought I know too well why I am being ordered to leave. My reports I forwarded to the Dominion never successfully confirmed a threat to an invasion force and the elders most likely deemed that as a sign that it is safe to move in and throw off the veil of false peaceful relations.
This could mean I am finally able to go home. I can finally see my friends and all those I considered close to me. But what about my new friends here? Could I really just walk away and leave them to face the inevitable trials of war? If I don’t then I dishonor all who I have worked with and befriended in the Dominion. If I don’t then I will never see a fellow human again. I will never get a chance to meet a nice girl and maybe even have a family. Even if I ultimately ignore this it will probably just be a matter of time before the Dominion figures a way to establish a connection to the Gate of Isah in this world. Then I would just be found out and be considered a traitor.
This is too much for me to think about. I am going to have to give this more thought.
Day 476(midnight): The recent orders I received keep looping through the crystal which confirms my theory that the Dominion can’t tell I received the orders the first time. I guess they are just shooting in the dark and hoping this gets to me. I wish it didn’t. I spent too much time here and am now compromised mentally. I just can’t follow the Dominion’s order without question anymore.
Day 477(evening): My mind has been consumed with my orders now. I can’t even assist Twilight I am so distraught. My thoughts often turn to my home in the Dominion which distracts me when I am supposed to be assisting Twilight.
I can’t help but remember the few humans that I managed to befriend. I particularly am occupied remembering how my friend and battle brother of sorts Ivan Klosh would manage to find ourselves in the weirdest of situations. Once after my first mission, at the age of 15, I met Ivan after an incident involving a miniature catapult and a magically altered cat kind of blew up in my face quite literally. My close proximity to the event landed me as being suspected in the incident and thus sentenced to clearing out the dragon pits where our tamed battle dragons are kept.
Though far from pleasant I always had an interest in dragons and their riders so this was an interesting punishment for me. Ivan too was stuck with this unpleasant and dangerous task and ended up aiding me in the chore due to his own little incident with an officer.
I had to say as a studying mage I typically am not fond of mere foot soldiers or others involved with the brute force of blades which Ivan’s work clothes and speech suggested he was of such. Normally I viewed such agents of the Dominion to be brutish and loudmouthed. Normally the only interactions between mages and soldiers are heckles thrown by the soldiers and occasionally returned by the less mature studying mage apprentices and on rare occasions a witty rebuttal from one of the more learned mages.
At first we said nothing between ourselves as we just started to get to work. We kept at our chore in silence for about an hour before I started to space out and admire the dragon that was sleeping in the pit we were cleaning. Not nearly the brightest thing to do in such a close proximity to a creature which would sooner consider me food or a trespasser and eat me than give me a second thought but what can I say? I liked dragons a lot as a kid.
“That’s a Vlandif ice breathing dragon isn’t it?”
I almost jumped when I heard these words. I forgot for a moment I was down here with another person. Ivan just kind of stood behind me leaning on his shovel with a curious look on his face. I would have placed a bet that most foot soldiers do not know anything about dragons aside from most flew, blew fire, and could rip a human to pieces. A short trade of words and suddenly a whole conversation was kindled on the different dragons that the Dominion has tamed and utilized in its conquests. I was shocked that a soldier (much less one of Ivan’s age which is quite past my own) not only knew as much as he did about dragons but had his own fascination with them. I then found out why as apparently Ivan was not a typical soldier but instead a sort of covert agent for the Dominion when the occasion calls for it and thus is around knowledge outside of mere battle tactics more often.
Well like I said stopping to admire a sleeping dragon isn’t the best idea. Starting a whole conversation in front of one however is idiotic. Something Ivan and myself were reminded of just then. The Vlandif ice breather rose and snorted at us, its chilled breath burning my skin. Both me and Ivan were positioned on the side of the dragon, opposite of the riders exit and could tell we just screwed up. As the dragon reared its head back to unleash its teeth upon us, I quickly fired off a quick incantation and we suddenly appeared behind the lunging beast. Before it could even turn around to try and find us I dragged a confused Ivan out the small rider exit.
Turning to close the exit I came face to face with the dragon about to unleash its frigid and deadly breath upon us. A simple snap of my ring finger with a simple spell in mind canceled the dragon’s breath and roar and in place was replaced with what sounded like a kitten’s mew. The dragon became confused and tried breathing ice again only to mew once more. It started to just try and fail at roaring in its pit, not paying me notice, while it tried to figure out what is wrong. Behind me all I heard was laughter. Ivan was actually rolling on the ground laughing. T’was a strange sight indeed for a man I thought to be easily in his 30’s. His laugh was contagious as we just sat there laughing for a while.
After we finished our punishment of cleaning the rest of the pits without incident, Ivan became a reliable friend, if not one of my only friends I had at the time. I ended up taking part in some covert operations with Ivan later which eventually got me recognized and recommended for my mission here in Equestria.
As I finish this entry up I don’t know why I exactly wrote down my memory in detail… Or why I am writing this at all. I have no intention at all in showing this to anyone anyway. Ever.
Day 478(evening): Well I screwed up today. Twilight tried inquiring about what was wrong since I have been rather quiet and zone out a lot. I ended up snapping at her when she pushed it. She couldn’t understand what I was dealing with even if I could just tell her. The look on her face pretty much served the same action as a slap to my face. She didn’t need to turn and buck, me sending me flying, or throw anything at me with magic, or get physical in anyway. The pain on her face was enough. I wanted for her to just be quiet while I tried to deal with this but I went too far… Twilight didn’t deserve that at all. Now she won’t even look at me. She undoubtedly is angry with my outburst and how can I blame her? She was only worried about me and I basically told her to go screw off.
I am so caught up in considering what awaits me in the Dominion I am becoming detached from everything around me. I need to apologize but I don’t know if I can until I make a decision. It would seem pointless to apologize then backstab her and everyone else in Ponyville.
Day 479(evening): Twilight still isn’t talking to me. I’m not talking much myself but she really seems affected by yesterday. Fluttershy stopped by to ask Twilight a few questions and I could tell I set her in an outright bad mood. She was polite but rather punctual with Fluttershy which is unusual since they are close friends and usually have idle chatter on the side.
Fluttershy caught on quickly and asked if anything was wrong. Twilight coldly replied that “There is nothing or anyone worth worrying about here.” I felt her eyes glaring at me for a second as she said that.
I ran into town later this evening and came across Fluttershy at the bakery. I was rather surprised when the typically timid pegasus pony immediately walked up to me and started assertively questioning me about what I did to upset Twilight. I ended up telling her the basics that I have a lot on my mind about home and that I accidentally snapped at Twilight when she tried pushing me to tell her what was wrong.
Note to self: never take Fluttershy for a pushover when it comes to her friends. She actually started lecturing me in her soft spoken voice which really only served to make it worse. It seemed as if I was a child being scolded by his mother. I just took it however. Everything she was saying was right. I screwed up and needed to apologize immediately to Twilight.
By time I got back home however I found Twilight asleep at her desk. She must have been working in her room at night to make up for me not helping her with her research.
I decided to let her sleep as waking her up would probably not be a wise decision. One thing bugged me as I turned off the light to the main room of the library. I could swear I could see tears on her desk when I covered her up.
Day 480(morning): I contemplated all of the possibilities and more as the pressure of my situation weighed on my mind. I finally have made my mind up and packed my hidden equipment and quietly left the library this morning before dawn without alerting Twilight to my exit. I am now on board a train and determined to finish what I started, for better or for worse.
Day 484(final entry): I don’t regret what I have done at all over the past 4 days. I will miss the friends I have made but this was ultimately a decision I myself had to make about what I wanted and what I believed was right. No one wants to be alone for their entire life. That’s why humans gather in relationships of all sorts from the Kings and subjects and friends and family. And that is the very thing I have chosen.
Friendship.
I will not forget the friends that I made but some mean more to you than others and to others you mean more to them.
I have made my choice and I will embrace it despite all its consequences. Even if those consequences mean I am the only human in this world and the last it will ever see.
