Fandom Psychosis

“NASH TO THE FRONT OF YOUR CELL!!!”

I snapped out of my inner monologue to face the source of the yell. Noticing it was one of the guards; I had no choice but to obey.

“Hands through the slot!”

“Why boss, don’t you trust me?”

“HANDS THROUGH THE BAR, OR IM COMING IN AND CUFFING YOU TO THE TOILET AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!”

“ Sorry man I’m already in a relationship.”

With a smirk on my face, I stuck my hands through the small slot. I decided not to piss off the guards out of fear for my own safety. For the guards going down each cell to cuff each prisoner, something must be going down.

“ All of you scum report to the main hall for a special announcement from the warden.”

Well, that’s flattering, but at least I know the reason for the cuffs. As soon as my metal door opened, I scurried out of my cell. On my rush to the main hall, I paused behind a big brute that blocked my way into the hall. He towered over me with his six foot eight stature, and he had about three times my muscle tone. Along with this, he had a God awful blonde rats tail that hung three inches from his head, and he also had one last notable feature. His prison rags were missing their sleeves. I wasn’t sure if this was a fashion style or something for comfort, all I know was that he is my living definition of white trash. It shocked me that he turned out to have a Russian accent.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you that it is rude to stare tiny man?”

I have no idea how long I had been quietly criticizing him, but obviously it had been for too long.

“ Just trying to get to where everyone else is.”

“ you best watch yourself tiny man, enemy’s are easily made and hard to lose.”

“ I’ll keep that in mind, but for now would you kindly move?”

To my surprise he actually obeyed my request, mumbling under his breath.

I proceeded into the hall to join up with a crowd of chained up convicts.
“ What is possibly going to happen now? Maybe we can finally get some decent food around here. Even better we could get some mattresses, those plastic slabs are hard to sleep on.”

At last the warden finally came into the main hall and approached the podium. The crowd all joined in a Boo. He spoke in a tone of a southern gentleman, yet demanded attention, like a military general. He was a very fat man and he seemed to be proud of it

“ Alright you maggots, due to recent knowledge that has come to our attention, there are going to be a few changes around here.”

One random convict cut him off
“Take away my cell mate, he’s dead!”

“ Body bags cost money and I don’t like wasting it on trash like you. Anyway, as I was saying they’re going to be some major changes taking effect immediately. From now on there will be; cell inspections in three hour intervals of the day, anyone laying a finger on someone else will get three days in the hole, and most importantly…”

“ Ohh boy, something tells me I might not enjoy the next thing I hear.”

“ Instead of your normal hour in the court yard, you’re all going to report to the viewing room to watch the new generation of My Little Pony.”

The second those words came from his mouth, I thought to myself, “ yep, I was right.”
The crowd soon came into an uproar.

“WHY!”

“ THIS IS BULLSHIT!”

“ I CRASHED A BUS FULL OF KIDS, BUT I DON’T DESERVE THIS!”

“ If you have any complaints, please feel free to write them on a piece of paper and put them in the community shredder. Reminder, these changes are permanent and will not be changed. Which reminds me, it’s time to start the first viewing.”

As I began to walk to the viewing hall, thoughts were racing through my head, “ Ohh God, the warden’s gonna start riots. What horrors am I going to experience in that room with my fellow convicts? With the previous monstrosities that were My Little Pony, will this new one make my eyes fall out? With no time to go out in the yard, will my already weak stature get worse?” I was very afraid of what was about to come my way.

At last I made it into the viewing hall. I sat next to all the people whom I was about to experience great torture with. I saw the fear of God in each mans eyes. The last man took his seat and everyone else prepared for the worst. The warden then spoke from the projector room.

“ Enjoy the show ladies!”

At this he turned on the projector and the screen lit up. Now comes the girliest intro I have ever heard in my life. Every one in the audience was in an uproar, but the warden announcing the next person to outburst gets a day in the hole quickly stopped it. During the intro though, I saw something very peculiar.

Rainbow Dash.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A creature from my imagination comes to life before my very eyes. My mouth stood agape as my mind pondered how this was a possibility. A coincidence? Deja vu? Can I see into the future? I continued to watch as I questioned reality.
The episode we all watched was one called “The Sonic Rainboom”, and surpisingly it was very well written. The show was very well animated; the characters were very well developed, had amazing voice acting, and had a good plot. The episode was about Rainbow Dash and how she had to persevere to pull of the impossible and save her friend Rarity with The Sonic Rainboom. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who thought the show was good, because when it was done, everyone stood up and clapped.

“ GREAT!”

“THAT WAS AMAZING!”

“ I’D CRASH ANOTHER BUS FILLED WITH KIDS TO WATCH THAT AGAIN!”

Now everyone began to fight over who was “ the best pony” or something.

“ Fluttershy is best pony because she’s so damn cute!”

“ Pinkie Pie is best pony because she’s so funny!”

I have had enough of the arguing, and apparently so did the warden. “That’s enough out of all off you, get back to your cells!”

We were forced to obey, due to the guards beginning to pile into the viewing room. When I got back to my cell, after I got the cuffs off my wrist, I collapsed onto my slab. I began to wonder why I had those dreams before this. Was it something that was preparing me for this? Will I have another dream that will continue from the last one? What is going to happen because of this? Then another thought came into my head.

“ If I had got the chance, I think I would have said that Rainbow Dash is best pony.”

It has been a month since we were forced to watch the show and the unthinkable happened. I didn’t have another dream that continued from where I left off. Instead the entire prison spit into six equal factions, each for the six main characters. I had decided to join the Rainbow Dash gang for two reasons. One reason was because most of the guys that joined were the toughest in the whole prison. The other was because I actually think she is best pony. If you told me two years ago that I would be in prison, and I will join a gang that worships a blue, flying horse, I would have called you a lunatic. Yet here we stand today.