Twilight sparkle's Love Lessons

"AFTER HIM!" I scrouted

The all of us ran after Lord Tirek cause we didnt want him to get the Gem of Ultimate Power before us cause that would suck.

"Guys he's too many faster than us, we've gotta do a plan to get to him faster" I shouted.

"But HOOOOW?" said Rainbow.

"Hmmmmm" I thought for a long time "Wait SHUT THE FUCK UP RAINBOW I have an idea."

"What is it?"

"My idea is we make Twilight think of an idea."

"What the fuck okay" said Twilight "Let me think."

"What thinking is a SHIT IDEA" said me. "Twilight just use your MAGIC!"

"Oh right okay." said Twilight and she did a magical and then we appeared telerpoted in FRONT of lord Tirek.

"Oh shit" said Tirek ""Fuck, I forgot magic existed. Well now we will all have to FIGHT YOU!"

"But what if I use the gun" I said and I pulle out my gun and shot Tirek in the face but the bullets bounce off cause he was really angry. "Oh never mind." But then one of the bullets fell on my foot and it made me get shot in the foot and it hurt a lot. "OWWWW!" I said cause I was jumping around and grabbing my foot

"Haha you fucked dick. Now give me the gem" said Tirek

"Fine" said me and I opened me suit and gave him the hem of ultimate power.

"What the fuck?" said Applejack "You had the gem with you?"

"Yes I'm did I'm sorry I lied to you all, but I couldnt let anyone know the real gem location or else Lord Tirek might find it. But it doesnt matter now because he still found it anyway."

"HAHAHA" said Tirek and he used the gem of ultimate power to make himself SUPER BIG he was so big that all of us couould even fit in his ear if we was able to get up that high.

"Well shit" said Twilight "Now we all gonna die cause he haves the gem. Great jakkid I hope you fuckin"

"WAIT" I shoute at everyone "I have an idea. It just might work."

I went up to Lord Tirek and shouted "LOOOOOOOOORD TIREK"

"What the fuck do you want" said Tirek.

"I challeng you... to a RAP BATTLE"

"No" said Tirek and he left to go destroy things.

"What the fuck that worked last time I swear" said me.

"Well what now?" said Twilight.

"Ive GOT IT!" said me "We gotta send a letter to Princess Celestia so she can come here and fought Tirek up."

"Oh okay." said Twilight and she got out a pen and pepper "its a good thing I brought one piece of paper from home. Dear Princes Celestia, Lord Tirek is back right now and you gotta come kill him. Also he has the gem. From Twilight" And then she gave the letter to me. "Wait but we dont have spike here to send it"

"Dont worry I got this" and I used my lighter I had in my pocket to set the letter on fire and it burned up. "Now we just gotta wait for Celestia."

"NO YOU IDIIOT" said Twilight "you have to use MAGIC to send it!"

"Oh" said me "I shouldve used my magic lighter then. Oh well I guess we can fight him still if we WORK TOGETHER!"

So we went to Ponyville but it was already got all destroyed up and shit. Also there was still meteors fighting. "OH DAMN I forgote about the meteors!" I said. "Twilight you gotta go fuck people!"

"Oh right" said Twilight and she went to go do that.

"But wheres lord Tirek" I said.

""I don't know" said Rainbow "Oh wait There he is." And she pointed under us and we were standing on Lord Tirek's back.

"Oh shit we mustve walked onto him accidentally. Okay this is our chase to use the element... of SURPRISE"

But when I said that real loud Lord Tirek heard us and turned round. "Oh Hi Detective Jakkid166 the greatest detective in the world what are you doing here?" he said.

"Never mind that" I said "Lets ATTACK!"

And we all FOUGHT lord Tirek a lot. I used my gun to shoot at him a few times but it didnt really do anything but Rainbow dash went into his nose and started picking his nose and he got really grossed out by it. And also Fluttershy poked him in the eyes and Rarity made him wear a dress and it was realy embarrassing.

"FUCK!" said Tirek "YOU GUYS ARE MEAN" And he smacked us away and Rarity got knocke onto a tree and hit her head on it and died a lot.

"oh NOOOOOO!" I shouted "RARITY IS DEAD!"

And there was a moment of silence for Rarity and we all was sad about it for a little bit.

"LORD TIREK WE WILL AVENGE THE RARITY'S DYING!" I shouted and I pointe my gun at him and fired but it didnt work cause I was out of bullets. "oh shit"

"HAHA" said Torek "Any last words Jakkid?"

But then a METEOR came out of the sky and fell on Tirek's head! "OWW!" said Tirek. "Fuck that hurt" and then ANOTHER fell on his head.

"Oh MAN!" I shouted "The SEX METEORS! Theyre falling all over Tirek because hes so big!"

And the meteors were falling on him and it was hurting him a lot and he was getting beaten.

"AWW YEAH" I said and I high fived rainbow dash but then something happened

"Oh no the sex meteors are stopping!" I said and Tirek was getting his power back. "How could this happening?"

And then I remembered "OH NO TWILIGHT MUST BE FUCKING SOMEONE! Everyone stay here I gotta go find her."

"Okay ill just stay here" said them.

So I ran through town dodging meteors and mailboxes and stuff and ponies but I couldnt find Twilight anywhere. I grabbe a random pony and scream in her face "WHERE IS TWILIGHT SPARKLE?" and even point my gun at them but they got scared and ran away for some reason.

"Shit" I said "Wait I hear something" And I used my super detective hearing to locate Twilight Sparkle's PLEASURE MOANS

"Aha I've found you" I said "Its always int he last place you look." I went into Twilight's house and went upstairs and she was in her bed fucking some guy.

"TWILIGHT YOU GOTTA STOP FUCKING RIGHT NOW!" I shouted at her face.

"What but we need to stop the meteors!" said Twilight.

"Not right now the meteors are falling on Lord Tirek and beating him a lot! You can keep fucking him after he's been beated"

"Oh okay." said Twilight "Don't worry I'll be back later" she said to the guy who was disappointed he was'nt having sex right now.

Me and Twilight ran back to the Tirek and he was crying because of the meteors falling on him. "OKAY OKAY ILL STOP BEING BAD JUST MAKE THE METEORS GO AWAY!" he said.

"Alright cool you can go back to fucking him" said me

"Alright cool." said Twilight and she went back to the guy and fucked him and the meteors stopped.

"Okay she stopped now give me the gem," I said to Tirek.

"Fine" said Tirek and he gave me the gem and become normal Tirek again.

"Sweet" I said "Thanks bro. Now go back to prison."

"Fine" said Tirek and he did that.

"WE WON GUYS!" I screamededloud and we all cheered hip hip hooray for beating Tirek forever. "Sorry you got killed Rarity," I said to her.

"Its okay," said Rarity Ghost "I've gotta go home now to make dinner for Sweety Belle though." and she went back to her house.

"Well then" I said "How shoulde we celebrate beating Tirek?"

"We should all fuck you Jakkid," said Pinkie Pie.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO" i said and i arrested them all.

the end