Walking through the painfully colorful village, or small town, filled with equally colorful ponies starting to hurt my eyes to the point I was thinking about gouging them out. Seriously did whoever create this false reality ever heard the color grey? With how colorful they’re it makes me stood out like a sore thumb, being the only one who has dark colored fur and heavily clothed compared to them.

I know the amount of clothing I have on right now can be said as standard to society, well real life society that is. Whoever made this simulation is really a pervert, pretty much everyone here is naked, well they're ponies after all but do you really have to design their genitals for fuck sakes? That guy walking with a boner and its swinging in the breeze but nobody really gave a crap about it, even he doesn't give a fuck about it.

And the eyes, I can feel them staring at me with their big googly eyes. I’m the type of person people called a ‘nobody’ because how easily I blend in with others, its not like I have something weird or special and nobody will ask why I wear a mask, because I’m not the only one, or is it because I hang around the Red District for too long?

After doing many undercover missions I somehow gain a sixth sense that can ‘detect’ if someone watching me from any direction, even if it was a security camera. Of course, it wasn’t anything like my style at all, being all stealthy and not firing bullets on everything that moves, but when Ghost or the loli elf isn’t around I was usually picked to do it.

Now I’m starting to miss the white and empty walls of the hospital, it kind of reminds me of the training simulation back at Base. ‘Why did I do that?’

***Couple minutes earlier***

‘Now, if I want to get out of here usually I only need to racks up my CPU beyond the simulator’s limits but I rather not make any unnecessary damage. Sure I can fix a god damn Space Rocket with scrap metals but I have the blueprint for it ’

“Do you prefer chocolate? Vanilla? Oh wait you did say that you didn’t like sweet, is it because of your teeth? I heard that foals never bother to brush their teeth after eating sweets. Poor Button can’t eat anymore after-“

‘Well it's down to two ways, either find a glitch in the system that I can exploit or make a backdoor to take control over the simulator. Finding a spot that weak enough to be breached should be easy, must be somewhere in the forest near I woke up.”

“-never brush his teeth so he can’t have any more sweets! Oh, I should tell you how Sweetie Bell tried to bake a cake for his birthday but somehow it turns into a cake monster! But then-“

‘Is she still going off with her mouth of her? Whoever made this really knew how to irritate me, at least Dom kept it on a tolerable level, did she even need to breathe?’

“-erypony has a piece and the party was a blast! *GASP*”

‘…must be scanning my brain for any type of ‘odd’ things to correct’

“Oh I know, we should have a party celebrating your recovery together with Welcome to Ponyville party!”

‘Ponyville, seriously? Who the hell designed this simulation, a five-year-old? Well, there could be a possibility for a kid to have an IQ higher than an average human, probably even higher than the Wise Dragon beastfolks or elder elves due to some sort of factor that affecting their brain, perhaps an Anomaly that has something to do with their IQ. And wait did she just say a party?’

“-ere would be colorful balloons, streamer, and all kind of flavored punch-“

‘Oh god.’

“-uge and yummy cake, and there would be all sort of games, like pin the tai-“

‘Oh dear God please no.’

“And every foal in town would be invited, of course, noponies wants to party all by themselves without others right?!” Pinkies finally ended her long one-sided talk with another big smile that creeps me the fuck out. How could she, a colorful pink pony that seems just pop out from a children TV show, make the Joker smile that can be seen as creepy and adorable at the same time?

And just like that, everything I doubt from the creator washed away like rain. I forgot the first thing Theo taught me, never underestimate your enemy, in this case, whoever controlling this simulation known what I’m trying to avoid all these years.

Socialism, one of my greatest weakness.

Even though I am great at working with the other S.A.S members, like a well-oiled machine one could say and great at blending in public, I was terrible at being on the spotlight at public, the same can’t be said when I’m in combat.

Because of constantly being a force to be reckoned in the battlefield I got a lot of attention, by the attention I mean multiple bullets, beams, projectiles, etc being fired at me. Little by little it became a habit of shooting anyone that is staring at me. So whenever I became the center of attention I immediately snapped to Defensive Mode with trigger-happy attitude.

I do, however, go to the higher up party, but it was more like a ball than an actual party, being a security guard or just mingles with others.

Even though it wasn’t much of a critical thing for me but I rather not give out any of my personal issues with a stranger, who knows, maybe they can use it to their advantage. It’s a lesson I learned when I was in my puberty days.

Still, the slightest slip-up can lead to a terrible situation like that time which leads me to an unseen disaster, well to my pride and social image at least, the latter being not much of a problem because I rarely care about it. The good thing is I got a new nickname and recognized as 'that guy who dresses weirdly' in public.

Both of which are ridiculously embarrassing.

I don’t know if the guy who runs this simulation, I’ll call him Bob from this point, knew of my little habit or just trying how I reacted.

Well, a stupid person being stupid, I gave him an unexpected answer.

I jump out of the open window.

And by the time I left the solid floor and past the window, I realize that the room was not on the first floor it was on the third floor.

One thing I said before the gravity taking me down to the hard ground was “Shit.”

***Present***

‘Well, whatever, I have to get to the forest before those three catches up to me.’ I thought to myself.

I’m walking on the more inactive part of the town, I could, however, go through the market district but with how busy and numerous amount of colorful moving equine, that would put LSD trip to shame, I rather avoid unwanted attention.

Even if there are fewer ponies on this road the attention was still given by the idle bystanders, I could feel their bizarre large eyes staring at me. The weird thing is I’ve only seen 2 or 3 stallions this far and I remembered that Nurse Redheart, the only pony that doesn’t make me want to gauge my eyes out I met, said that the mares are outnumbered the stallions 10 to 1.

With that in mind, I was wondering what is Bob using this simulation for? Well aside from using it for me of course, judging by the odd setting I gathered so far is only leading to one thing which is-

“LOOK OUT!!!”

I was too deep in thought I can’t even respond in time, suddenly something smashed on my right side and sent me tumbling to an alley, my head collided with something and the sound of metal hitting metal being hit rang through my ears.

Thankfully I hit the mechanical part of my head and not the fleshy part, even though it covered with a layer of wood skin I’m sure it wasn’t effective as the metal one, regaining my footing, hooving?, I stare at the thing that hit me.

Or somepony.

Eckh, that left a bad taste on my tongue.

Lying near a turned dustbin is a foal, or filly if you want to be accurate, sprawled with comical stars circling her head. Her eyes spinning in the opposite direction of each other like a cartoon character.

‘I think Bob is a five-year-old girl, I’ll just call her Sarah then.’

She has an orange coat and purple mane and tail, the wings on her back indicating that she is the same race as me, a pegasus. She shakes her head to get rid of the stars, once her eyes stop spinning she stood up and glared at me.

“Hey, can’t you hear me? I said get out of the way, sister!” she snapped.

I raised an eyebrow at her odd chosen words “Well, excuse me for not listening to you,” I snapped back, not wanting to lose an argument with a freaking colorful talking pony “If you’re using that big eyes of yours to actually see the damn road you might not crash into somebody else, but hey what do I know? Am I supposed to take the blame even though you’re the one who crashed into me? Heck no.”

I think I might overdo it seeing how she had a terrified expression and took a few steps back, and how the hell did her pupils turn in to a pinprick? Well, I don’t really care about it anyway since I can chalk it up as the ‘logic’ of this false reality.

"Oh my Celestia you're a colt," she whispered. Celestia? who the fuck is that? “I-i-i-I’m sorry I shouldn’t yell at you!” she apologizes almost stammering with watery eyes, she bowed her head several times “Please don’t tell me to your herd mothers!”

Again with the herd mothers, god I’d never get used to this. “Whatever just look at where you’re going first so you won’t crash to somebody else,” I said simply and walk around her. Now that we’re standing side by side I was an inch shorter than her, am I younger than her?

Before I could turn at the corner I heard a shout of “Oh no!” taking a glance at the purple haired filly, I could see her looking at the remains of a scooter, maybe that was what she’s riding.

She sniffed a couple of times before wiping her tears from her face, even though I was the victim, more or less, I was starting to feel guilt filling my gut. Even if I have the heart of metals, literally, I have a soft side for children.

Walking back to her side, I could clearly see what part of the scooter that’s broken, the damn thing break into two pieces right between the plank that is used for standing on. Taking a closer look I could see the little mushroom and moss decorated the wooden plank, indicating that it was already rotten.

“It was my first scooter…” She sniffed “I found it in the junkyard and thought it would be my lucky day…”

‘No wonder it's in bad condition, she took it from a dump.’ I thought, sure we might take what we found in the junkyard near the Base but at least we refined it so that it could be used. Well, mostly the magic caster of our team does it because she is the only one who can use alchemy but hey I helped too.

I have ten years worth of Alchemy knowledge sitting on one of my many folders but because I have nothing to generate magic like elves and other magic caster has, it’s just as good as garbage.

I put my hoof on her back and gave her a few pats to calm her down “Don’t worry, I can fix it for you” I said.

She cast a side glance at me with her teary eyes, “You-sniff-you can?”

“Of course no problem, it would be as easy as pie, It's not rocket science right?” I said, picking up the broken scooter and absorbing it just by touching it. “Just wipe the snort and tears out of your face.”

I heard a mumbled ‘okay’ followed by the sound of her snorting even harder. I fix the scooter from the inside of my questionable body, by dissembling it into pieces, replacing the broken part with reinforced wood leftover from the forest and giving it a few finishing touches.

Reaching the inside of my unbuttoned jacket as if going for the inner pocket, I pulled out the scooter as if I was a street magician, but in reality, I pulled it from my body and checking it for any flaw, just like any of my other creations, it doesn’t have any.

The wooden parts are replaced with reinforced wood, sturdy enough to handle a heavyweight. The rusted metals are polished back to their glory day, so shiny that you can even see your own reflection.

All and all it looks like a brand new one.

I turn toward my ‘fellow’ Pegasus and presented her fixed scooter, “Here you go, it’s not my best work but I think it would be sufficient.”

Whipping the last tear from her eyes, she takes a look at her scooter and gasped “Wha-how…are you really giving this to me?” she asked, barely containing her happiness with how huge her smile is, thankfully it wasn’t as big as Pinkie’s.

“Well…yeah, it is yours right? You found it in the junkyard and it doesn’t belong to anyone now does it?” I said, placing the scooter in front of the orange coated pony who proceeds to ride it.

With a simple push, she dashed toward the other side of the road, almost crashing to a wall but her wings help her stop just in time. I should probably tell her that I lubricate the wheels with oil so that they would spin easier.

She dashed back and practically pounces on to me and wrap her forehooves around my neck, again, I had to hold myself from sending a right hook at her, “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” she screamed at the side of my head before jumping back and circled around her scooter.

‘Ouch, I hope my ears aren’t bleeding.’

“This is so AWESOME!!!” she squealed “how did you do all of this anyway?”

Feeling a little mischief, and paying back for what she did to my ears, I decided to play a joke on her “That my dear…” leaning in closer and so did she “…is a secret.” I whispered with a wink.

She almost fell down but quickly sat on her haunches and pouted “That’s not fair…” she mumbled, hooves crossed against her chest.

I let out a chuckle “Whatever, I gotta go anyway. Better not making big sis waiting.” I rustled her mane, despite the height difference, and walk out from the alley, I turn to the corner and continued my walk toward the forest. ‘Now, where the hell is that damned forest? I could go straight toward that apple orchard and backtracked to where I came from or find another way rather than getting caught trespassing and which will probably end up in some police station or something.’

My train of thought derailed as I heard something rolling by my side, at the sight of the scooter steer I could guess who it is.

“So any reason you decided to follow me?” I asked.

“I notice that you don’t have any mare with you so I decided to guard you as saying thanks for fixing my scooter,” She replied with a cheery tone, ‘Guard? Woman, do I look like a prisoner to you?’ “That and I never knew your name. Let me introduce myself I’m Scootalo, Rainbow Dash number one fans!”

‘Scootaloo? Rainbow Dash? Just hearing those names already giving me diabetes and I bet whoever Rainbow was definitely has something to do with rainbow, maybe the fur?’ Rolling my eyes at the ‘creative’ names.

“The name Xandrich, a member of the S.A.S.”

Author's Note

Well, surprise, surprise it is I, Erik The Shitposter, with the unexpected update!

I know I said that I'll be posting less frequently than before but I somehow manage to pinch enough time to write this.

The same can't be said with The Displaced Brothers sadly.

Anyway, as always keep on the lookout for grammar error or misspell!

Fun fact: I was going to make this a Human and You verse story but with humans having superpowers! demi-humans! and ~~Traps!~~ allot of guns! But I can't think of anything except for little Xandrich, or Alex, going gun blazing from witnessing human slavery.