My Little Convicts - Crime is Magic

Chapter 2 - The Dead Six

“So…” Applejack broke the silence. “What exactly did you do to get imprisoned?” She asked Twilight.

“I did a heist at Canterlot Castle.” Twilight answered.

“Fearless and ready to take on the biggest prize against all odds.” Dr. Pie commented. “I like your guts.”

“What were you trying to steal by the way?” Rarity asked. “Gold, Jewels, Artifacts?”

“Information.” Twilight answered. “Information that could fetch you a lot of money if sold to the right pony or… organization.”

“How’d you get past security?” Rainbow asked. “You can’t just waltz in that place right?”

“We planned the heist for a month.” Twilight explained. “We decided to use some sort of knockout gas to give us a thirty-minute window for the robbery. We also shut down the city’s power grid to confuse the authorities.”

“Did the rest of your crew made it out?”

“I guess they did.” Twilight answered. “It’s quite sad actually. Planning the perfect heist, the heist of the millennium, only to get yourself caught and imprisoned.” Twilight looked at them and said. “Wait! Why are you only asking me, do you all know each other?”

“Sort off…” Dr. Pie said. “Let me explain. Dash over here was a henchmare of mine. I used to buy my weapons from Miss Applejack who was caught in multiple pyramid schemes orchestrated by Rarity, who buys her drugs from Fluttershy.”

“Wait! How did you know I get my weed from Fluttershy?” Asked Rarity.

“You all know you bought drugs from me at least once right?” Fluttershy said as she snapped back into reality. Her bloodshot eyes wide open with a forced smile on her face.

“Fluttershy you’re back.” Rainbow dash greeted.

“I guess I am.” She replied.

“You were in prison right?” Twilight asked. “How did you get high while behind bars?”

“I know how to make drugs from urine, shit and scraped paint from the walls.” Fluttershy answered.

“Eww.” Twilight said as she backed away from her slightly.

“I know something we could do.” Fluttershy said as her nose began to bleed. “We could talk about our cutie marks.”

“Uh… I think it’ll be more appropriate to call a doctor instead.” Twilight suggested

“Oh Twilight, ‘cough’ ‘cough’ I feel just fine.” Fluttershy replied as she coughed out some blood. “I’ll go first.”

Fluttershy showed them her cutie mark which was a chemistry set. She explained that she got it when she ‘accidentally’ cooked meth while trying to create a superior cough syrup for her little brother. From there she began her career as a drug cook and made it her goal to spread love and peace among ponies through her drugs.

“That was an interesting story.” Twilight commented as she backed away slightly from the yellow mare. “Guess I’ll tell you all my story then.”

They all looked at her cutiemark, it was a checklist with 3 boxes that had tick marks in the form of a six sided purple star. She explains that her talent is detailed planning. She got it when she conspired with several students to burn down the faculty building because their essays got low scores. After a month of planning the arson was carried out and no pony ever knew it was them.

“You should consider working for me if we ever get out of prison.” Dr. Pie proposed. “I have use for ponies with talents like you.”

“Thanks, but I prefer to be the one in charge of my life, so…. No.” Twilight replied.

“Alright moving on, I guess it’s my turn then.” Rainbow Dash said as she lifter her ass. “Check out this bad boy.”

The cutie mark was a red circle with a capitalized ‘A’ on it, the symbol of anarchy, with a red lightning bolt at the back. She explained that she got her cutie mark after she rode a scooter without a helmet. She became a teen rebel breaking every rule she can. She decided to run away from home and do all sorts of petty crime. She worked for multiple gangs before ending up with Dr. Pie’s organization.

“So what’d you think?” Dash asked

“Wow… that was uh... Interesting… I guess.” Twilight answered earning her an annoyed look from Dash.

“Mah turn.” Said Applejack.

She showed them her cutie mark which was a crate with an apple painted on it. She explained that at a young age, she was good at hiding contraband in various forms of storage and convinced everyone that it was just apples. She got her mark after she sold pot which was stored in an aluminum pot to some of her fellow classmates in Manehattan.

“I’ve been living in Manehattan since I was eight and I’ve built my smuggling enterprise there.” Applejack proudly proclaimed. “Sadly, the RBI noticed what I was doing and suddenly out of nowhere this blue unicorn with yellow eyes burst through my warehouses window and took as down.”

“Did he have a crescent moon and a star for a cutie mark?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah.”

“That’s my dad.”

“Bastard’s a one pony army.”

“Ahem.” Rarity coughed. “I believe it’s my turn.”

They looked at her cutie mark, it was a blue rose with thorns at its stem. She was good at convincing other ponies with her charm and she often abused it for personal gain. She got it when she convinced a depressed classmate to hang himself for her amusement.

“I was the best scammer in equestrian.” Rarity said dramatically. “And then the RBI showed up at my house and I knew I was fucked.”

“Wait, I think I’ve met you before.” Twilight said. “Yes. I attempted to hire you once remember.”

“Ah, so that’s why you seem familiar.” Rarity replied. “And I’ll ask you the same question again Miss Sparkle. Do I look like a seven percent to you?”

“You know each other?” Rainbow Dahs asked.

“Hold on a second.” Applejack said. “Can ya’ll explain all this hiring and seven percent stuff.”

“I attempted to hire her once to be our inside mare in the Equestrian Diamond Center.” Twilight explained. “I offered her a seven percent cut from the take but she was offended.”

“And I refused.” Rarity continued. “Seven percent is simply outrageous.”

“It’s quite reasonable when you realize the take was seventy million.” Twilight replied. The room fell silent at the revelation. Everypony including Dr. Pie and Rarity had their mouth’s wide open. The only sound that came from the room was the snoring of Fluttershy who dozed off a while ago. “And beside’s you’re untested.”

“What!” rarity shouted. “Why didn’t you tell me the heist was going to yield that much?”

“It was the fucking Equestrian Diamond Center Rarity. The largest in collection of genstomes, gold and diamonds in all of equestria, even larger than Celestia’s obese rump.” Twilight answered. “What, do you think we were going to get a fucking pocket change from that. Fuck no! We got fucking rich bitch, but we did not stop.”

“How many robberies have you made?” dash asked.

“Seventeen banks, five jewelry stores, a cargo ship filled with ‘goods’, the Equestrian Diamond Center and Canterlot Castle.” Twilight said as she thought deeply. “About twenty-six.”

“Sweet Celestia.” Rarity said. “Well… that’s another thing to add to my list of regrets.”

“Are you all done?” Dr. Pinkie asked. “Good. Now gather round children cause Aunt Pinkies going to tell you a story of a villain, the greatest villain that ever lived.”

“Oh boy here we go again.” Rainbow Dash mumbled as she rolled her eyed.

Pinkie Pie raised her ass with pride and showed of her cutie mark. It was a golden eagle, the symbol of a new world order. She claimed that she got it when she was visited by the ghost of her grandfather. The ghost told her that it was her destiny to lead the ponies of her nation into a bright tomorrow, to unite all city states into one empire and to establish a new world order. So she worked hard and earned a doctorate at V. Illain University and founded her underground organization.

“Within five years I have almost complete control over the entire Equestrian underground.” Dr. Pinkie explained dramatically. “And if it weren’t for that damned Con Mane I would’ve succeeded!”

Pinkie looked around only to see that her five companions were huddled together sleeping peacefully. Pinkie Pie sighed in disappointment as she woke them up one by one. Just as they got up a knock came from a door followed by Blueblood entering followed by six RBI agents wearing SWAT combat armor. The six agent went over to the gathered convicts and took off their shackles and magic restraints.

“Finally.” Twilight said as she touched her bare horn. “Now I can use my magic again.” She then proceeds to scratch her back telekinetically.

“So, what happens now?” The apple mare asked as she stretched her hooves

Blueblood ordered the six agents to leave and just as they left another agent walked in. This stallion was wearing the standard field agent outfit which was a simple black suit with neck tie and shades. He had an average build, yellow coat, blue mane and wings.

“I’d like to introduce you to your handler.” Blueblood gestured to the agent. “This is Agent Flash Sentry, one of our youngest and finest agents.”

“Handler?” Twilight said as he cocked a brow. “Blue, what is the meaning of this?”

“I can’t just set you free in the Everfree forest without anyone to handle all of you.” Blueblood explained. “He’s here to make sure none of you would run off.”

“Really Blueballs.” Dash complained. “It’s not like we’ll stab you in the back or anything.”

Without warning, Flash pointed his revolver at Rainbow Dash.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, chill out dude.” Dash said as she raised her hooves.

“Drop the shiv ma’am.” Flask ordered.

“What do you mean?”

“Drop it!”

Rainbow Dash raised her wings and a single rusty shiv dropped on the floor. “Now, kick it away.” Flash ordered. Rainbow Dash did as she was told and kicked, sending it sliding across the floor towards Flash who picked it up and holstered his gun.

“As I said, one of our finest agents.” Blueblood bragged.

“Is there any other alternative to having a handler.” Twilight asked.

“We do have explosive collars, perhaps you want to try s-”

“Alright… alright.” Twilight interrupted. “We’ll bring the handler with us. ”

“For the record, I’m fine with the handler.” Rarity declared. “He’s one hot stud.” She said seductively as she licked her lips.

“I’ll be leaving you to him and he will brief you on your mission and get you suited up.” Blueblood said as he began to walk away. “Oh and he’s authorized to put any of you down if you prove to be a threat to the mission.” He added before he closed the door.

“Follow me please.” He commanded.

He leads all of them, including Fluttershy who was still tripping balls, across the hallway towards the armory room. While they were walking Flash briefed them on their mission. “The mission is simple, Nightmare Moons hiding in an ancient castle in the Everfree forest. A helicopter will drop us on top of Nightmare Moons hideout and we’ll do the rest.”

“That’s the plan?” Twilight said as she cocked a brow. “Will we get any additional support?”

“Yeah that’s about it.” Flash answered. “But I hear the director’s getting something that might help us from the royal archives.” He slowed his pace and when he was beside Twilight he asked her a question. “Were you the one who orchestrated the ‘Heist of the Millennium’?”

“So they call it that huh.” she replied. “Yeah it was me.”

“Then I guess it’s just right that you should have this.” He said as he handed out a bloodstained photo.

“What’s that?” Pinkie asked as she peeked from Twilight’s side.

“Where did you get this?” Twilight asked with a surprised tone. The bloodstained picture showed Twilight and her colleague Moon Dancer holding bags filled with jewelry. It was from taken after her first heist with her original crew of three. This photo was taken by their third crew member, a common drag racer that Twilight molded into the ultimate getaway driver, Comet Tail.

“I was there Twilight.” Flash replied. “And he was there as well.. in the security room. I did what I had to do.”

“Casualties happen.” Twilight said plainly. She didn’t really have a care in the world for her crew, and it was her personal rule to have no attachments with any of them. To her they were just numbers in her schemes. But she still reflected on all the heists that ended in success because of her getaway driver. “Nothing can bring him back anyway.”

“Yes… Nothing.” Flash said grimly.

Soon they arrived at a large armory filled with guns and body armor sealed in glass cases. The quartermaster emerged from the counter and greeted them. “How’re you doing Sentry.”

“I’m fine Hoof Crank.” He replied. “I’m here to get these mares’ suited up.” He explained

“Ahh, I see you brought the Dead Six with you.” Hoof Crank said as he reached for something under the counter.

“Dead Six?” Rarity asked.

“This is a suicidal mission, even for a field agent like me.” Flash explained.

“Aye, that’s why the higher ups call you mares the Dead Six.” Crank added as he placed a dox in the counter. “Standard field agent armor, finest protection you can get in the agency.” He said as he opened the box.

“What the fuck!” Rainbow Dash shouted as she pushed Rarity aside and took one of the black suits and neck tie. “You call this ‘armor’, seriously! This is a fucking suit!” She complained as she wore it and styled her mane to look like Flash’s. “Oh look at me I’m Flash Sentry. I’m the finest agent in the RBI. pew pew pew” she mocked as she made wing guns and fired them at Flash.

Without warning Flash pulled his revolver causing everyone to duck except Hoof Crank who quickly out on his ear plugs. Flash fired a single shot at Rainbow Dash’s chest. She screamed in pain, until she realized she isn’t in any form of physical pain.

“W-w-what th-the f-f-f-fuck!” She stammered as she reached for where the bullet supposedly hit. She found a single flattened slug. “H-h-how?”

“What sorcery is this?” Dr. Pinkie asked. “I demand answers.”

“MK IV elite agency armor.” Flash answered as he took one of the suits. “Lightweight, scratch resistant, fire resistant, water proof, fashionable and bulletproof thanks to a thin layer of synthetic dragon leather lining inside the suit’s coat.” He explained as he threw one to Dr. Pinkie who immediately wore it.

“It feels like a regular suit.” Dr. Pinkie said as he adjusted her clothes.

“What kind of synthetic dragon leather lining are we talking about here?” Twilight asked as she handed the suits towards the rest of her crew.

“Well you see, our scientists were able to grow a specific type of dragon skin that was light and tough from a ‘special’ type of leather found in a dragons…” He trailed of as he thought twice about what he was going to say next.

“In a dragon’s what?” Asked Twilight as she arranged her neck tie.

“The leather was grown from the bits of a dragon’s scrotum.” Flash continued as he sighed.

“Aw, what the fuck!” Pinkie and Twilight shouted as they took of the suit’s coat and threw it away.

“What’s wrong?” Rarity asked. “I think the suit is absolutely fabulous darling.”

“Rarity you are wearing a fucking ball sack.” Twilight explained.

“Eww, eww, eww, eww, eww.” Rarity said as she clawed the garment off.

“Meh, beats getting blown up.” Applejack said plainly. “Right Rainbow Dash?”

“Damn right AJ.” Dash answered. “I mean, you get to say you wearing a dragons ball sack, that’s a whole new level of bad ass. Right Fluttershy.”

“I smoked a Dragon’s Balls once.” Fluttershy said as she stared of into the distance. “It was some fine ass shit.”

Everypony in the room was silent for a while with their mouths wide open in shock.

“Is she serious?” Hoof Crank asked Rainbow Dash.

“Well, since this is Fluttershy… I guess she’s really serious.”

“Anyway, the dragon leather is really synthetic and lab grown, so it’s completely clean.”

Twilight and Pinkie agreed that wearing the ball sack suit was for the best and after a while of convincing, they were able to make Rarity wear it again

“Okay… Crank, do you have the guns?” Flash asked.

“I have em r-”

“No guns!”Twilight shouted.

“What do you mean, no guns?” Flash asked.

“You may be our handler, but I’m still in charge of the team.” Twilight explained. “And I say, no guns.”

“But, but, how are we going to defeat Nightmare Moon!” Flash attempted to reason.

“Yeah Twilight, we really need those guns.” Applejack added.

“Actually you don’t.” Came a voice from the doorway.

“Your majesty!” Crank and Flash greeted as they stood in attention.

“Blue, where the fuck’ve you been.” Twilight said in surprise.

“We got word that Nightmare Moon is hiding in the ruins of the Castle of the Two Sister.” He said before he handed a large file to Twilight. “Have you ever heard of the Elements of Harmony.” He asked.

“I read about it.” Twilight answered. “The six legendary stones that banished Nightmare Moon to the moon.” Twilight continued as she opened the file. It had a picture of the six stones being held in some sort of display. “I hear it has been lost since she was banished.”

“What is I told you it still in the ruined castle.” Blueblood said with a sly smile.

“I like your plan Blue.” Twilight replied. “Flash we won’t be needing the guns.”

“Fine!” He said as he crossed his front hooves and sat down.

“We don’t need any guns.” Twilight said as she pointed a hoof at Flash’s holster.

“I still need something to protect myself in case the six of you gang up on me.” Flash replied with a smug look on his face.

“He has a point.” Blueblood argued.

“Alright, you can keep your gun.” Twilight grumbled. “But it’ll be only used on us and you won’t bring extra ammo. So keep that thing fully loaded.”

“We’ll do… ma’am.” He replied in a mocking tone.

“Your chopper is ready.” Blueblood said. “Follow me Please”

Blueblood lead them to the roof of the agency building which had a helipad with a helicopter waiting for them. They boarded the helicopter and strapped themselves in.

“Good Luck!” Blueblood shouted. “And remember, you’re our last hope.”

“What do you mean last h-” Twilight was cut off as Blueblood closed the door of the helicopter. “Wait, Blueblood. What the fuck did you mean?”

But it was no use. He just stood there, watching silently as the helicopter flew across the night sky. He turns around with his head hung low and starts the long walk back to his office. He looked forward and stopped when he spotted a familiar pink pony waiting by the doorway. “You know for a pony who has a cynical view on the world, you sure put a lot of trust on a pony who ditched you, her family and everypony who cared about her eight years ago.”

‘’Yeah, and that reminds me, whose idea was it to bring back the elements of harmony?” Blueblood asked sarcastically.

“Alright I get it.” The mare replied. “But I’m a little curious on how you made her agree so quickly even if you’re in a desperate position.”

“Because she knows that I may know someone else who’ll be more willing to take the job. A certain someone from the ‘other side of the mirror’ who I can ‘fish out’ and do the job she was supposed to do.” Blueblood explained.

“But that would mean the-“

“Team I assembled won’t work out and the elements won’t be ‘restored’ because she’s going to do it alone unlike Twilight who relies on her team leading skills to get the job done.” Blueblood interrupted. “Thankfully Twilight took the bait when she had the chance.”

“But why Twilight and convicts? Why not other ponies who’re more capable and trustworthy?” She asked.

“She deserves a chance; they deserve a chance.” He answered. “Everypony does.”

“You’re just doing it for Twilight aren’t you?” Cadance asked.

“Maybe.” Blueblood shrugged.

“And what if she fails?” She asked as she began to walk away. “And what if she ditches you again?”

“She won’t.” He answered plainly. “And I know you bear a grudge against her. But please Cadence, learn to have a little more faith, it might get you somewhere.”

“Fine… fine.” Cadence said as she stopped and turned around to face the prince. “But if something bad happens. It’s on you Blueblood and your bureau, not me.” B