I rose about fifty feet in the air above the swimming hole before tucking into a ball. " Cannonball!" I dropped at high speeds before making contact with the water, creating a giant wave that got everyone else wet. When I surfaced, I was greeted by the sounds of laughter and sputtering. " Ha, no better way to celebrate a school break than with a nice swim." Off to the side, I saw my boys try and dunk each other under the water while Scoots and Bloom were playing with a ball. Jackie and Big Mac had a splashing contest with Luna, while Pear and Bright just leisurely swam together. In fact, the only ones who weren't enjoying the water with us were dad and Granny. Dad was reading the latest Tom Clancy novel so that's no surprise, but what about Granny? " Hey, Granny, how come you don't take a dip with us?"

" I don't think so, sonny. I haven't really been swimming since my youth, not after what happened."

I got out of the water and sat next to her. " Wanna tell me, I always did like your stories." The mention of listening to one of Grannys story's brought the attention of the others from the swimming hole, dad even stopped reading his book, that's almost impossible to do.

Once we all gathered around Granny, she sighed before leaning back into her chair. " Years ago, before you were even born Sweetheart," That was directed towards Bright. " I was an Aquapony Allstar." Hmm, Granny Smith in a bathing suit....... It Burns! " The fact is, I was the only Apple that ever came close to breaking the Equestria high-diving record. But I tell ya, diving six stories high into a deep-dish pie pan takes a toll on the hindquarters. I was so sore, it took me years before I could even look at the water again."

" Geez, ma! Is that how you got your replacement hip?"

" No Bright, I got this fake hip after doing, uh.... something that shouldn't be said in front of children, that's for sure." Bleach! Must wash out with bleach! " Anywho, don't let my fear of swimming stop ya'll from having a good time."

" Alrighty then, however, I must apologize in advance for this." They all quirked a brow at me before I flew into the air. I kept rising until the swimming hole looked no smaller than a pearl. Once I was high enough, I folded my wings and dropped like a stone. I tucked into a missile position, making me drop even faster. Once I was ten feet from the surface, I tucked into a cannonball and entered the water at speeds and heights that would liquify a normal person, but I'm above average in most areas. The resulting splash caused a fifteen-foot wave to wash over the bank and soak everybody. When I resurfaced, I was met with a death glare from everyone. " Don't look at me, I already apologized."

An hour later.

We were all walking from the swimming hole while Bloom was having a conversation with Granny. " Wow Granny, I can't believe you were a high-diver."

" The best one in all of Ponyville."

" Do you think I could ever be a high-diver?" Alarm bells ringing.

Bright and Pear were the first ones to react. " Absolutely not!"

" But I,"

" No no, your folks are right. What I did was dangerous and left me sore every time I did it. Don't get me wrong; I wish I were still young, spry, and confident, but, I think we ought to leave the flying to those who have wings." Bloom thought it over before nodding at her Grandmothers wisdom. " That's more like it." Before any of us could continue further, a group of ponies walked by us and headed towards something in the distance, though the weird thing was, each pony seemed to have some sort of injury or sickness. " Now what in the sam hell is going on here?"

" I'm not sure, but I hear carnival music." All of us were drawn to the music, and we followed. After cresting over a hill, we could see a circus tent was pitched up and all the injured ponies went into. " Oh boy, a circus! Come on, let's see if they have siamese twins in a jar!" I ran ahead to get us some seats, only to find there was no place to sit. " Hey, what gives? How am I supposed to laugh my ass off if there's nowhere to sit?"

" Probably because it's not a circus." The rest of the family caught up and Luna was pointing out my mistake.

" I figured as much, seeing there are no peanut or cotton candy vendors." As a matter of fact, now that I had a chance to look around, there was just a stage and what looked like a mobile player at center stage. " Hope this is worth it."

Soon, the lights dimmed and a spot-light hit the player. A green aura turned the crank and music started to play. After a few seconds two familiar, and annoying voices came from behind the curtain. " Thank you one and all for your attendance and we guarantee that your time here will not be spent here in vain."

" In fact, we think it'll prove to be the most valuable time you've ever spent." With that, the curtain lifts, and the familiar con-ponies, Flim and Flam, make their appearance.

" Oh fuck this I'm out of here!" I made my way out with dad and the boys following.

Jackie tried to stop us. " Hold on, where are you four going? Don't you at least want to know what they're up to?"

" By looking at the audience and knowing those two, it's either a fake cure-all or crappy insurance that won't show its face once you've been hospitalized. But, if you want, please investigate and report your findings at dinner, unless it's not already done before then." I gave her a kiss before cupping her cheek. " If anyone can find the truth, it's you my country maiden."

She blushed before kissing my palm. " Okay honey. Just don't do something stupid."

" When have I ever?" She was about to answer, but I placed a finger on her lips. " Don't answer, it was a stupid question." I left the tent with Dad and the boys and started for home, but then I saw Berry Punch looking frantic and handing out flyers to the ponies going into the tent. " Hey Berry, what's wrong?"

She saw us approach and ran to us. " Joe, I need your help, please!"

" Why, what happened?" I looked at her pile of flyers and saw that it read missing, and underneath that was a picture of her daughter, Ruby Pinch. " Your little girl's missing?"

Berry struggled to answer through her tears. " She... she was supposed to come home after school before the break started three days ago, but she never came home. I checked with all her friends to see if she spent the night and just forgot to tell me, but none of them have seen her. Worst of all, some of the other parents I asked wanted to know if I knew where their daughters were." This started to feel like a bad situation. " I have no idea where she is and I fear the worst. Please help me find her."

I gave her a hug trying to comfort her during this difficult time. " Of course I'll help. And I think I know where to start." I let her go before getting back up. " Let's go to your house, see what might help find her. Come on, dad, boys." We followed Berry back to her house where hopefully, we can help get her daughter back.

Three hours later.

Dad and I were searching around Ruby's bedroom for anything that might tell us where she went, so far, nothing. " I got nothing. No note saying she ran away, Berry confirmed that all her toys are still here, so she didn't run away. What about you dad, find anything?"

" I got squat. Hopefully, the boys found something between here and the school." Just like that, the boys came in and the look they had given some hope to the situation. " What'd you find boys?"

" I think we have a few clues grandpa," Jack told him while holding a couple of pictures while Orion held up a pearl necklace and in the other, a pair of purple glasses. " Orion found these under some bushes and I took some pictures of what I think might've been a scuffle."

I grabbed the photos and examined the contents. From what I could tell from the tracks, tiny hooves pawed away at the dirt while large sets of cloven hooves surrounded the area. I did not like where this was going. " I think I know who's behind this, and who do those belong to?" I indicated the necklace and glasses in Orion's grasp.

" The glasses belong to Twist, and the necklace has Silver Spoon's scent on it." Now my vision was starting to tint to a red shade. No child, not even spoiled brats should have to go through what they might possibly be going through now.

With what we gathered, we left Rubie's room and headed for Berry who was waiting for us in the living room. " Joe, were you able to find anything?"

" We were, and now I fear the worst." Her worries seemed to sky-rocket. " But I make this promise, I will bring back your daughter, but I need you to do something for me."

" What do you need?"

" Gather all the parents who's daughters are missing and bring them to Townhall, noon tomorrow. Tell them it's a royal decree if you have to." I reached into my pocket and fished out a seal with my crest on it and gave it to her. " This ought to help with that." I left ought the door with the others and made for home. " We have some serious prep work to do." I let out with a growl.

That evening.

I sat at the table trying to listen to what Jackie was telling everyone at the table about those con-artist brothers, but my thoughts kept going back to the hunt for our prey tomorrow. I was so lost in thought, I didn't realize I was being talked to had Jackie not yelled my name. " Joe!"

" Huh, what?" I looked to my right to see that Jackie was glaring at me, Luna was fixing me with the same look. " Sorry, what were you saying dear?"

" Ah was saying, those two varmints of sales-ponies have Granny hooked on a fake cure-all. When I went to confront their accomplice, they showed me that the tonic is nothing but apple juice and beet leaves. *Sigh* Though the real issue now is, do I expose them for the fakes they are, letting all those sick and injured ponies down, or do I keep quiet and let them continue thinking they're getting better?"

" Jackie, the best thing to do would be to expose them and their fake tonic. Sure, it may lift all those sick ponies' spirits and hopes up, but what if they decide to do something dangerous or reckless that one shouldn't even do while physically able? Imagine if a pony with a broken leg tried to do ballet." All of us thought of that image for a moment before shuddering. " Anyway, I know you'll do the right thing."

" Thanks, sweetie. Now, what has you and the boys so thoughtful?" The boys, dad, and I exchanged an uneasy look about today's earlier events. " What is it?"

I stood from my seat and looked at everyone at the table before answering. " The Caribou are back."

The next morning.

The boys took me to where they found the items and we all sniffed the area around us. As we caught the scent of the missing fillies, I was able to get the scent of those shit-bags. " Alright, I got at least six different scents here, four of them are ponies, the other two are caribou scum. Boys, this is a golden opportunity. While Grandpa is waiting on us at Townhall, we're gonna do a little hunting."

" That sounds like a plan," Orion said while unsheathing his sword.

" I do just have one question. What are we going to do when we find them?"

" Well, Jack my boy, that all depends on where and how we find them. Now come on, we're wasting time." The boys followed me as we tracked down the scent of those damned pedophiles.

Our hunt led us to the Everfree forest, because why not. Our search led us past the castle of the two sisters, where I picked up some rope, and further into the heart of the forest. As we followed the scent, we would come across a bush or low-hanging branch and find strands of hair belonging to one or more of the captured fillies, we even found a small amount of blood on a nearby thorn bush. When I went to examine the blood, I saw that it was still warm and wet, meaning they were on the move, or worse, added another filly to their collection. That horrid thought made us quicken our pace.

After about an hour of tracking, we heard some voices emit from a nearby cave. " Come on, can't we have some fun with these tight little cunts?" The three of us crept up to the entrance and peered inside. Inside the cave, there had to be at least five caribou. Two of them were playing cards, one was sitting on a fancy chair in the back, and the last two were guarding the captured fillies in a cage, and they had a very lustful look in their eyes. The cage had a total of four fillies inside, Twist, Ruby, Silver Spoon, and Derpy's little girl, Dinky. " I want to have a go with this rich little bitch." The guard on the left clattered his antlers against the cage, scaring the girls, and pissing me and the boys off.

" Enough you fools!" The caribou on the throne got off from his seat and made his way to the cage. Now that I was able to get a better look at him, he seemed to be wearing garments that those fucking royal pricks wore, must be related in some way. The bastard went to the cage to do what all evil-pricks do best, monologue. " Do you little bitches know why you're here?"

Silver Spoon was the one to respond with a bitter tone. " Because you jerks can't get a real mare to satisfy you, so you kidnapped us just so you could actually get some!" Heh, good one.

The two playing cards whispered between each other. " That is the plan, right?"

" I don't know, maybe."

" Silence you idiots!" He yells over to his goons before turning back to the fillies. " And no, you're here to plant mistrust with that mutt who killed my uncle and cousins. First, we take Equestrias daughters, making all the parents look toward their hero for help in getting you all back. Once we hear that he's looking for you all, we turn you all into cock-sleaves, before disposing of your bodies." This caused the fillies to cower, the goons to snicker, and the boys and I to let off low growls. " Once your parents see that their precious hero couldn't save you in time, they'll turn on him, making him an outcast. And once that happens we can finally go back to our country and dethrone that bitch aunt of mine without fear of retaliation from him, or this land of colorful sluts. And once we capture that freak's daughter, we can finally put that mouth of yours around our cocks."

Hearing how that fucker's next target was my little girl, the boys and I let the wolf loose and entered the cave.

The roar I and the boys let out brought the caribous attention away from the fillies and toward our gnashing teeth. " It's the Beast!" One of the guards yelled while fumbling with his spear.

" There... There are two more with him. We're fucked!"

" You're damn right you little fuck-shits! Now let the girls go and my boys and I will only maim you!" I unsheathed Frostbite and used it to blast the two fuckers playing cards and turned them into a block of ice. " Now!"

The guard with the keys fumbled a bit before going for the lock but was stopped by the royal fool. He butted the guy in the head before reaching for a stone inscribed with red runes. " Listen here you miserable mongrel, you unthaw my followers, and I won't light these little sluts on fire!"

" How about option three? Boys, now!" Jack took Earthquake and slammed the spike into the ground, creating spikes to erupt and pierce the hooves of the caribou, causing them to be stuck in place. With them stuck, Orion slashed off the leader's hoof that had the rune on it and grabbed it before it could do any harm. With the caribou incapacitated and bleeding, I turned to the boys. " Good job you two. Now, tie them up, and I'll escort these ladies home."

" Yes sir." I tossed them the rope and they went to take care of the scum.

I went over to the cage and tore off the door. " Ladies, if you'll follow me." I slashed open a portal to the front of Townhall, where the girls were eager to go through. Once they made it through, I saw that the boys had the goons tied up. " Take them to Herot, and when you're done, come get me." They both nodded while Jack opened a portal to Herot and left with Orion and the prisoners. With them taking out the trash, I went over to Townhall.

When I went inside, all the fillies that had been foal-napped were hugging their relived parents, the whole scene brought a smile to my face. While the reunion was going on, dad came by. " Hey, son, Applejack told me to tell you to meet her at the swim meet, seems as those two con-artists are trying to go for a big score."

" Don't worry, I think I know what to do about those two." A mischievous grin snuck its way onto my face.

Midnight. Herots dungeon.

I walked through the cells while letting my claws sharpen on the rocks. For most of the cells, they were empty and hadn't seen much use, that isn't to say, they all were. At the end of the hall, a cell was covered in plastic from top to bottom. When I entered, Jack was laying out some knives while Orion bound the three caribou to a large metal table. " Is everything ready?"

" Yeah, we've just been waiting on you to start things off."

" Well, then let's get started." I went to the table holding the knives and chose the karambit. With my knife ready, I went over to the royal prick. " Hello, we meet again."

" You insufferable bastard! You'll pay for killing my uncle and cousins, not to mention leaving that bitch of an aunt in charge of a kingdom that should be mine!"

" By the gods, all you perverts ever do is bitch and moan. No wonder you fuckers have to force females to suck those twigs you call dicks." This caused him to try and escape his bonds. " Yeah, good luck trying to break through titanium. You know, I don't think I got your name, would be a shame to kill a nameless idiot."

" My name is Fallow, Duke of the Caribou, and rightful heir to the throne after you slaughtered my uncle and cousins!"

" Before I put the actual ruler on the throne." I gave him a sly smirk while he seethed at me. " Boys, grab a knife and pick a scumbag." Orion grabbed a dirk and made his way to the caribou on the left while Jack grabbed a butcher knife and made his way to the caribou on the right. " Now, follow my lead." I placed the karambit above the brow of the prick with my boys following suit with theirs. " Now, you boys are going to learn a few things from this."

" Dad, we already know how to cut a body." Jack's words sent a shiver down his victim's spine.

" The only bodies you two have ever cut up, are animals we've hunted. These here are live, sentient beings, for the most part, that will protest to being cut, and butchered." The boys looked at the bodies with a newfound realization. " You'll also learn how to channel your rage and sadistic urges by causing pain to those who deserve it, instead of people who piss you off, but don't deserve it." I of course referred to the chase on Diamond Tiara. " Now, let's get down to business." I looked down at the writhing dickhead on my table. " Are there any other caribou that went along with you that we didn't capture in that cave?"

" Piss off you son of a whore!" That earned him and his associates to lose their left eyebrow. " Arrgh!"

" The questions you leave unanswered, the more body parts we cut off, and just so you know, we find this fun." The bastard growled at me while trying to keep blood from going into his eyes. " Now, did we get all your buddies from the cave, or do the boys and I have a few more pieces of shit to hunt down?" I placed the tip of my blade inside his nostril, just in case.

" Grrr, you got all of us."

" See, was that so hard?" I patted his cheek making him groan at my action. " Now, are there any other caribou from your homeland, that share you and your deceased uncle's belief that females should be nothing but sex slaves?" It made me feel sick to even utter that question.

" Those sluts should have always been under our hooves, sucking our cocks and begging to be fucked like the whore's they-!" He didn't get to finish as I sliced his nostril across. " Blah, you prick!"

" That's what she said. Now, answer the question."

He huffed out blood before answering. " there are many nobles of the court who shared my uncle's vision. But ever since that bitch was returned to the throne, half of them were rounded up while the others went into hiding."

" I see, and do you know where any of them might be?"

" I don't know." I pointed the blade at the base of his dick and got ready to fillet it like a hotdog. " Wait, stop, I really don't know where they are! We decided that it would be best to not know where our hiding places be in case we ever got captured!"

" Hmm, clever, but at the same time irritating." I and the boys removed the knife from our victim's genitals. " Alright, since you don't know where they are, how about you tell me how many are out there?" I finished while placing the blade inside his mouth and pressed the tip against the inside of his cheek.

" Not counting me and my goons, at least five nobles and however many followers they have."

" Well, that narrows it down a bit." I let the blade scrape inside his mouth before taking it out. " Just one more question, then you and your followers can be free. Did any of you sick deviants violate those girls before we stopped you?" I let my teeth change into fangs to illustrate my point.

Instead of him answering, the guy Orion was slicing up answered, now that I had a better look at him, it was the one who wanted to use Silver Spoon as a fleshlight. " We wanted to, but Fallow insisted we wait until we nabbed your daughter and dump a large load in her first." Orion couldn't take anymore and went ahead and ripped the bastard's jugular with his teeth.

Once he removed the throat from the freak, he spat it out. " Guh, caribou pervs taste like week-old rotten chicken."

" Why I wanted you to use the knives." I then pulled out my ax and placed it over the royal bastard's neck. " And now, to free you from your mortal coils."

" What!?" The shit-stain would've said more, but my ax had already cleaved through his neck.

Since Orion already took care of his victim, Jack went ahead and stabbed his caribou in the heart with the butcher knife. " Good job you two, and I hope you two learned something." My boys nodded while Orion cleaned his mouth of pervert blood. " And what about you two," I turned to the back of the cell where our guests sat. Those two being Flim and Flam. " Did you learn anything?"

The two of them were tied to some chairs and were shuddering with fear. " We learned not to con other ponies with fake cure-alls."

" Otherwise we'll end up on the cutting table." The two of them gave us nervous toothy grins hoping all their troubles were over.

" Exactly." Went over and slashed off their rope bindings and removed their nullifying rings. " A word of advice, find yourselves a steady job that pays regularly, instead of coming up with half-assed plans that screw over everyone."

" We will, we will."

" Are you thinking what I'm thinking brother of mine?"

" I believe I am."

" Las Pegasus!"

" Hey, that sounds great. Now get the hell out of here before I go full Lycan on your asses." The two of them were out of here so fast, they left smoke images of themselves. " What a couple of idiots. Raph, Mickey!" The two guards came in and bowed their heads. " Take those iced Caribou from cold storage and send them to Queen Lagertha with a message, until all radicals are found and/or eliminated, the border between Equestria and the Caribou territories are closed."

" Yes, my king." They both left and went to do what I asked. " Now all that's left is to clean up our mess."

" So that's why all the plastic?"

" Work smart, not hard."

Author's Note

Okay, I had no real design for a chapter dealing with Flim and Flam again, so I thought about bringing those Fucking bastards into the mix. I thought it went pretty well.

Okay, time to do a little trading over in Rainbow Falls. Maybe Joe'll find a new trinket or something.

Clip of a beautiful love song.

Now for the shocker.