As the days turned to, and the weeks turned to months, Celestia's pregnancy really started to show. Her mood swings turned the sweet motherly monarch of the sun into a tyrant half the time. And the cravings, Odin's beard the cravings. Never have I heard of a cake stuffed with artichokes, sauerkraut, and Grey Poupon icing with chives. I'm just glad Pinkie could bake such a thing.

Anyway, because of the extreme mood swings and the constant eating of actual junk food, she has been unable to perform her duties to the kingdom. Usually, the responsibility would be passed over to Luna, but since they both have me, I decided to take over. After all, it'll be good to deal with the pony's problems in politics. Luckily, I had two beings with a good head on them. "Lord Joseph, I must insist we head to the conference room to discuss the Gala preparations." One such head belonged to Kibitz, the royal Scheduling advisor for Celestia and Luna.

"And I say we get something to eat first." And the second head is the only portable head that can still talk. Mimir. "A ruler can't think on an empty stomach."

"And what would a head, know about what a ruler needs before they start their duties?" Kibitz asked with a slight tone as we walked to the kitchen.

"Watch your tongue, boy! If I had legs, I'd kick your ass up and down this mountain!" Mimir yelled at the guy while reaching out with his tiny mechanical arms.

"Enough!" Their squabbling stopped after that. "We'll compromise with me getting a quick snack on the way." We went into the kitchen where I grabbed a pear and a quarter loaf of bread. "There, happy?" I asked before walking down the hall towards the conference rooms.

"Sigh I suppose that'll be appropriate." Kibitz went through the list as we neared the conference room. "Once we finish this meeting, we have a meeting with the Gala caterers, then the music for the Gala, and after that, decorations for"

"I'm going to stop you right there, Kibitz. Let me see that schedule real quick." Reluctantly, Kibitz handed me the schedule. I took the list and went over it nearly a dozen times. Finally, I took a pen and started making modifications. "Alright, everything involving the Gala has been moved to one meeting. Hey, G.I. Schmuck." I got the attention of a guard near the bathroom. "Gather all the committee members for the Gala and send them to the conference room..." I looked back at the list to see where to meet. "Conference room A."

As the guard saluted and went to do that, Kibitz took the list back and saw all the changes I did to it. "Sir, um, your highness, the schedule"

"Was a bit flawed and had ponies that while working different parts, all work towards the same goal. I put them together in one room so we could knock it out quickly. Also" I pointed to the designated bathroom breaks, which I scratched out. "Scheduling a bathroom break is just wrong, and a little creepy if I'm being honest."

"I'll," He cleared his throat before putting the list away. "put that under consideration." Kibitz opened the door and we sat down and waited for the committee.

(An hour later)

For the last few minutes, I heard ponies talk about how the Gala should be like the others before it, unlike the first one I attended. Buch of snobs, don't know what's good. Speaking of snobs, that's all they wanted to invite! "The incident where we let commoners attend the Gala was a complete disaster!" A unicorn stallion with a grey coat and white mane said with an upturned nose.

"And the music, ugh! It gets in the way of any talk between the nobles and getting business done." Another unicorn, this time a mare, with way too much jewelry and make-up that it was hard to tell her age. "So I say, we are rid of music for the upcoming Gala, and if no pony seems to mind its absence, then we should continue to have all the other Gala without music." Was this nag serious?

"Now, onto the food." A thin Earth pony mare started. It looked like she hadn't eaten a decent meal in weeks.

"Enough!" I stood up and looked at all five committee members with a stern, almost death glare. "These are the requests of spoiled children." I took the papers and crumpled them up. "The only thing these are good for is toilet paper!" I made the gesture of wiping the paper on my ass before slamming it on the table and pointing out the door. "Out! I want everybody out!" The ponies left while giving out the stereotypical snobby response.

Once they were all out, Kibits slammed the door and looked extremely pissed off. "Your Highness. That may have been the worst meeting with a planning committee I have ever been to!"

"If you're referring to my tactics then clearly you weren't listening to what was being said," I told him while gesturing to the door where they had left.

Kibitz rolled his eyes before continuing. "I heard what they said, and I agree that they should be reprimanded for their suggestions, but that was too much. Princess Celestia uses a subtle-"

"Tactic?" I interrupted him. "And that might be the problem. I love Celestia with all my heart and love her motherly nature." I grabbed the papers and started looking them over as I continued. "But when it comes to ruling and politics, that nature must be set aside to make way for a more strict and rational way of thinking. Not to mention letting out some steam toward stuck-up nobles." I went ahead and signed off on the destination for the Gala and handed it to Kibitz before going over the guest list.

The seasoned advisor took the paper and gave it a glance before letting out a guffaw. "Princess Twilight's castle!? Sire, the Gala has always been held in Canterlot, not to mention the capacity in which the guests will overrun her castle."

"Relax, I have it under control," I told him before putting the last few names on the guest list. "Here, add it to the file. Now, I believe day court is waiting for me." I got up from the chair and headed for the throne room.

"Sire! The amount of guests you added to the list is four times larger than any other Gala! Not to mention we still have to select and book a band, the catering, and the menu, we still have a lot to do for the upcoming Gala!" Kibitz was in hysterics over the whole thing. If only he knew what I had planned.

"We have a guest list and a location, that'll be fine. And I'll take care of the rest when they arrive. Now let's get to Day court." I led the way while Kibitz kept grumbling like a child behind me. "I get enough of that from my own children. I don't need it from you." All at once, the grumbling stopped.

"Very well, I'll trust your judgment... this time." Kibitz opened the door to the throne room, where a line of ponies was already waiting. I walked past them and sat on the throne, having Mimir rest on the left armrest and my ax resting on the right side of the chair. For added flare, I put on my crown and nodded to Kibitz. "Day court is now in session."

The first pony to come up was a local business stallion that was working on trade deals with the griffin empire. "My lord. I am Trade Deal. I've come to ask for troops to escort me and my company to and from the griffin empire."

"And what are you wanting to trade with them?" I asked, hoping this was a legit thing.

"Mainly local foods from here in hopes of currency or exotic spices," Trade explained.

Giving the matter some thought, I took out some parchment and wrote an order for ten Diamond Dog warriors. I rolled it up and gave it my seal. "Take this to Herot. It will ensure you ten of my finest warriors. I'll also allow five pegasi guards to accompany you."

"Thank you, my lord." Trade bowed before heading out.

"An excellent job, sire," Kibitz complimented before he called the next appointment forward.

To my surprise and sick delight, Jet Set and Upper Crust were here. "Oooh, this is gonna be sweet. Hehehehe," I muttered under my breath before looking as regal and intimidating as possible. "So. What business would you dare ask from the crown?" My question had them quacking in their horseshoes. "Well!?"

Crust pushed Jet forward while shaking and hiding behind him. Jet gulped before stepping forward. "W-w-well your majesty. M- My wife and I are here to complain about the noise from the local Foalcare center. So, we would like to ask that the building be demolished."

I raised a brow at this. "You come down here to complain about something as petty as this?" I stood from the throne and bared down on them. "And then you have the nerve, to ask for its destruction!" At this point, the two of them were on their bellies in fear. "I have a better solution. For the next two months, you two will be spending eight-hour days at the very place you wanted to be destroyed! Guards!" Two unicorn guards trotted over and positioned themselves beside Jet Set and Upper Crust. "Escort these two to the Canterlot Foalcare Center and explain the situation to the manager there."

"Yes, Sire." They both said before escorting the two out.

Letting out a sigh, I went back to the throne and slumped into the seat. "Uh, Sire." I heard Kibitz say.

"If it's about my judgment, then you can just save it. It's about time the nobles gave something back to the community." I took a grape from the bowl and waited for the bashing.

"Actually, I was going to tell you that was a very ingenious solution. While the reaction and tone were a little excessive, I believe the princesses would be proud, Sire." Kibitz smiled at me.

"Thank you. Alright, next batter up." For the rest of the day, I took care of matters of state, negotiated a deal with a mining company from Griffonstone, and even saved a marriage. After chewing out a noble for being a pompous asshole, it was time to head home. "Alright, I'll leave the changing of the guard to the girls. Kibitz, have a good night, and I'll see you in a couple of days."

"Very well. Have a good night. And to you as well, Mimir." Kibitz nodded over at Mimir before I put him around my belt.

"And to you. Make sure to take a day to just drink and get that stick out of yer arse." Mimir playfully exchanged with the royal advisor.

"Of course, I won't." Kibitz gave us both a smirk before I opened a portal home.

At home

"Daddy's, home!" I called out from the door.

"Dad!" Scoots got up from the couch and zipped over at me where I caught her. "How was your day?"

"Pretty good. The scheduling was a little difficult to get in sync with, but after moving a few things around, I got the job done. And what about you? How was crusading?" I asked her before sitting in my recliner with her on my lap.

"Pretty good. We got a letter from Babs today and you'll never guess what happened," She told me excitedly. "She got her Cutie mark!"

"That's awesome! Did she say what it looks like, what it represents?" I asked her before she showed me the letter Babs sent her. "Hmm, cutting hair, I would never have guessed. Though she always blows that mane out of her hair." I set the letter aside and gave Scootaloo a tight hug. "Don't worry, yours will be here soon."

"I know." Scoots said before feeling down. "After we got her letter, we wondered if we should keep her as a crusader." The news startled me.

"Why would you kick her out of the Club? Just because she has her Cutiemark, doesn't mean she's not your friend or relative. I mean, you wouldn't want to be kicked out if you got your Cutiemark before the others or vice versa, would you?"

"No, I wouldn't like it if they told me I couldn't be their friend or part of the club anymore," Scoots told me with a sad expression.

"Alright then. Maybe tomorrow, you can discuss making Babs feel like she's still part of the club, even though she has her Cutiemark." I patted her on the back before picking her up. "Alright, I got dinner to make. Whatcha hungry for?"

Dreamscape

I was roaming the star-filled hallway, looking at all the doors and making sure no one was having any trouble sleeping. As I kept walking, I would take a peek inside the doors to slate my curiosity. Seeing Jackie's door, a sinister smile crept onto my face before I looked inside. Within the door, I saw my country wife in an old western town, and she was in the middle of a shoot-out with some banditos. "Come and get some ya nod good varmints!" I heard her yell out before firing her six-shooter and killing three men at once.

Closing the door, I gave a small shudder from excitement. "That mare sure loves herself some westerns." I then proceeded over to the next door, which happened to be Dash's door. "Fifty bits says it involves the Wonderbolts." I opened the door and after getting a quick glance, I immediately closed it. ".....Wow. I did not know Dash was into the whole locker room gang bang..... Luna should put a light or something when it's an erotic dream."

I kept roaming the halls, checking doors at random, and after the seventeenth door, I was about to call it quits when I stumbled on Apple Bloom's door and saw the beginning of the red mist forming around it. "Guess that letter from Babes affected all of the crusaders," I muttered before opening the door. After I went in, I was in the middle of the town square and a crap ton of what looked to be actual lightning bugs swarmed everywhere and looked ready to electrify the whole town. "For fuck's sake. What happened to just showing up to school naked or falling from a really high place? Though I guess that first one doesn't count since everyone here is naked."

"Bugs bugs bugs bugs!" Off to the side, I saw Apple Bloom chasing after the bugs with a steampunk-looking proton pack. She chased a group of them over to me and just as she was about to get zapped, I grabbed her by her tail. "Ahhh!" When I had her dangling in front of me, she gave me a sheepish grin. "Hi, Joe. Look, it weren't my fault! I had a talent for catching these things, but then Diamond and Silver started making fun of me, I went out to the woods and was told I could get rid of it. Next thing ah know, these darn bugs are everywhere!" At that point, she was hyperventilating and panting hard.

After giving her a moment to collect herself, I put her down. "Bloom. This is a dream." I snapped my fingers and all the chaos that was going on ceased. "See."

After looking around at the frozen scene before her, she sat down and looked up at me. "So, I was having a nightmare?"

"Mhmm." I gave her a hug and led her out the door. "But don't feel too bad about it. We all have nightmares about growing up, believe me." I took her over to Sweetie's door where the same mist was starting to form. "And it looks like you're friends are going through the same thing you are." I opened the door, and we were subjected to Sweetie getting on stage, about to sing her heart out. Just then, as Sweetie was about to sing, the microphone stand turned into a broom, and she was horrified by it. "You see?"

I went inside and paused the dream. "Huh?" Sweetie looked over at me and I could see that she was putting two and two together. "Bad dream?"

"Yep. Come on, Crusader meeting over in Scoot's dream." The three of us walked over to Scootaloo's door, where I was surprised to see there was no mist forming. When I opened the door, we all saw Scoots using her blades and slicing through hordes of Draugr, alongside Rainbow Dash and Spitfire. "Oh, she's having a nice dream."

"Nice!?" Both Sweetie and Bloom asked in surprise.

"Don't act all surprised," I told them before pausing the dream.

Scoots let out a war cry before slamming her blades on a Tatzlwurm. When she saw nothing was moving, she looked around with a crazed look. "What the fuck!?"

"Language!" She spun around and saw us approach. "Dream or not, you will watch your language young lady."

"Sorry, dad. What brings you by?" She asked while sheathing her blades.

"Oh, just a small crusader meeting." I changed the scene to their treehouse and made a roundtable appear in the middle of the room. I made a few drinks and chips before we sat down. "Alright. Let's get to the root of the problem."

One hour later

After confirming that all three of those girls were fine and would be okay for the time being, I went back to the dream realm. "Yeah. Those kids will be alright." I then checked my watch. "For a week at least." I chuckled to myself before walking through the hall.

For about ten minutes, not a single thing was amiss and I thought about calling it quits until a massive red cloud burst from a door further down the hall. I ran down the hall and made it to the door, only to halt in my tracks when I saw whose door it was. "Swagger?" The door was his alright. It had the Marine Corps crest on it and a Marksman emblem below it. "Oh shit. I hope it's not what I think this is about."

When I opened the door, I was on top of a cliff in Ethiopia, and Swagger and Donnie were taking fire from a hostile force. Donnie was calling out targets while Swagger kept taking them out. "Command post, command post, this is Viper! We're receiving indirect fire! Request extraction!" I heard Donnie call over the radio, but it was clear no one would pick up. "The channel's down!"

"They left us here!" Swagger pushed the bolt back before taking out another hostile. "Don't worry, we're getting out of here!" He reassured his Spotter. Just then, a helicopter came flying straight toward them. "Crap! Get down!" The chopper made a pass by them, missing them both. Swagger shot at the copter while Donnie kept firing at the hostile forces below.

When the chopper made for another loop, I knew this is where Donnie would breathe his last. Acting fast, I threw myself in front of Donnie and held up my shield. When the barrage drew ever closer, the bullets that would have killed Donnie bounced off my shield. Once the chopper passed us, I launched my ax at the tail rotor and sliced it off, making it careen down at the enemy. After the explosion, I looked back to Swagger and Donnie. "Sup, bitches."

"Tex?" Donnie asked while getting up. "The hell you doing? I thought you were state-side?"

"Far from it." I saw Swagger get up and look around at everything. "Scuse me, Swagger needs me." I paused the dream and approached my friend. "So. A case of Shell Shock?"

Swagger looked around before nodding. "You can say that." He looked over at Donnie before sighing. "I took down his killers and even the ones who set us up in the first place. But the guilt of losing him just never went away."

"Losing a friend is never easy, especially a friend like Donnie." I patted his shoulder before changing the scene to that bar in Jacksonville. We sat down at the bar and got to talking.

Waking world

I awoke to a pleasant sensation. I wiped away the sleep from my eyes and saw that Celestia was busy bobbing up and down my morning wood. "This is a nice way to wake up." I smirked at her while she winked at me. "Care to know what I found out in the dream world?"

She let my cock go with a pop before climbing up and swallowing it with her pussy. "Mmm~, tell me all about it."

"Usual for the most part, though I think-Ooh yeah, keep riding-Luna needs an early warning system if they're having wet or erotic dreams," I told her while rubbing her pregnant belly. "I helped Scoots and the Crusaders with their fear of getting a Cutiemark they may not like."

"I know the fear all to well. Oooh, thrust harder~. I had many colts and fillies come to me asking if I could give them a more favorable mark." She then kept going faster. "Anything else?"

"I went and helped Swagger with his guilt over Donnie." I grabbed her flank and kept going faster. "I think he'll be fine for a while, but I know a way to make him feel much better."

"Speaking of feeling better~," Tia told me while gyrating his hips a little. "I'm close~."

"Then let's get down to it~!" She kept bouncing up and down my cock while we made out, all while doing are best not to wake Jackie and Lulu.

Author's Note

Sorry for the delay. Been working on a few other projects and work. Next chapter I've dreamt of doing for a really long time.

Clips.