[Scouts pov]

“So, what are we going to do while waiting till noon Scout?” mike said

“We could just see what ponyville looks like and get something to eat.”

Why is food on your top list of things scout?

Cause it can be, i’m hungry.

“Hey, you know what i always wondered what is in the backpack that i wear.” so i reached in the backpack and pulled out a BONK! Atomic punch. “Holy jesus on a unicycle, its atomic punch, i will drink all of this right now.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t do that considering that actually has atomic atoms in there and a shit load of suger according to the game.” mike said

“Too late dude it's opened and since its a can, i have to drink it cause now i cant put it back in the bag while its opened, because no one wants to clean that mess.” so then i proceeded to drink it.

TIME FUCKIN STOPPED

“So this is what happens when Scout drinks atomic punch, neat.”

That's really all you have to say about this?

"We are in a world filled with talking ponies that can fly and or use magic, and also me and mike turned into The Scout and a rebel combine, and you expect me to be surprised that the bonk slows down time. You one dumb son of a bitch arn't you?"

[a few mins later, and some explaining to mike]

"Whoa, that sounds awesome." mike said.

"Yea, well ya know i am the Scout now, so i need to live up to his reputation."

"You just love stroking your self off don't you?" mike said just as a anthro version of soldier just pop up right behind him.

"I AM PAINIS CUPCAKE, I WILL EAT YOU!"

"Did i j-just hear what i think i heard?" mike said

"Whatever you do mike don't look at it or move, it might get angry."

"I think i just pissed myself!" mike said

"Ya didn't need to tell me about that, now stand still while i get my bat." I say as i reach for my bat to smack painis in the face.

Are you sure that's going to work?

Don't worry if i hit him on the head a certain amount of times i should bring the Soldier back. At least i hope it will.

If soldier is even in that thing.

I guess we'll find out real quick now won't we?

*BINK*

Painis falls to the ground immediately after i hit him with the Bat. "I didn't think it'll be that easy! Wow, i guess scout isn't as much as a weakling as the Team fortress community said he was."

And then the sound of Painis screeching and the uber charge activating, and then the sound of me facepalming so hard it could be heard all the way back on earth.

"GOD DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMNNNN IT!"

"You dun fuked up now Scout."

"NO SHIT MIKE, RUN FUCKER RUN!"

And we were running for about five or six hours, until a stupid tree root tripped me and i landed on my 'muzzle' i guess i would call it now instead of nose or face, or anything that resembles human anatomy. Well any way i fell and Painis jumped and landed on me, and DEAR GOD HE'S FUCKING FAT OR ITS MY NEW BODY BUILD, BUT JESUS THAT SWIPED THE AIR RIGHT OUTTA ME!

"I AM PAINIS CUPCA-" Painis started but never finished

"Yea, Yea i know just kill me already, I've already know I'm going to my own personal hell but at least i will die knowing that humans aren't the only intelligent beings in the universe, loneliness scares the shit outta me, so go on, do it."

Painis raises his 'hoof' thing and brings it down hard on my face, only i don't feel it, and now all i see is black. i guess this is what happens when you die, neat hehehe, ima go insane aren't i?

[to be continued]

Author's Note

that was a while for this chapter for being short
pure laziness can do shit to a guy man
for those who need to picture a rebel combine would look like its reverse suit colors with the combine symbol with an x though it if you guys are good at drawing stuff can you make something that would come close to that if its not all ready a thing, plz