The Adventures of Mr. Cake: Red Velvet Hoofprints

Intercepted file #1

Hello again, informants.

Since you're still reading these documents, I'm assuming you didn't listen to me before. Oh, and how I had so wanted some trouble to brew from just a little... Miscommunication.

Anyway, what are these documents anyway? Hmm, the security here is more powerful than I expected...

Anyway, when I finished my last message to you all I decided that it was time to give you another perspective on this little story. Besides, what fun is there in a story if you don't know what we supporters of chaos had been up to all this time? Oh, and don't worry. All the information I'm giving you is completely harmless to me, since this was all over and done with anyway.

Besides, maybe you'll have a little more appreciation for us when this is all over. Who knows? (I still can't get over how panicked everypony looks back at the royal guard's headquarters. Priceless!)

/ / /

It was a dark and freezing night in... Snowvakia. A blizzard was blowing, like always, adding to the completely evil aura of conspiracy and evil masterminds.

And what could ironically be here in Snowvakia then a factory-like building with flood lights reflecting a nearly blinding light from off of the concrete walls. On the front of the building stood a large, iron door, with a wide tarmac road leading off to a nearby city.

It was here that a shady carriage approached, being brought by a pair of stallions wearing black shades. The carriage slowly came around and approached the mysterious building, broadside facing the iron door, as the two stallions stopped. Removing their harnesses, the two stallions proceeded to trot to the side of the carriage facing the iron door, standing at either side of a sinister, dark opening on the side of the carriage.

As if on queue, the large iron door slowly opened, the doors disappearing into the walls like in some kind of science fiction movie, revealing a red carpet and low-lit lights on the inside of the dark building. From behind the iron door trotted a blue, older teenage mare with frizzled hair and a grin plastered to her face, giving her a very sinister look.

Trotting up to the car, the frizz-haired mare knocked on the window. Right on queue, the window rolled down, revealing a shadowy figure on the inside of the carriage.

"I see you are here for the meeting?" spoke the frizz-haired mare.

The dark figure muttered something indiscernible before an awkward silence fell between the two ponies.

"Um, miss?" Asked the frizz-haired mare, her eyes slowly focusing in on whomever was inside the car.

"mmf-blrrf," was the response from the carriage.

"Is everything alright?" asked the frizz-hared mare, for the last time.

"BLEEBLE BLEEBLE BLEE!"

That... 'BEEBLE" was so uncalled for, so unexpected, that the frizz-haired mare jumped back several feet before looking in surprise at the car. Recollecting herself, the frizz-haired mare looked back at the carriage to see who had just jumped out at her from the car.

And who was it but that devious, clever, intelligent, diabolical, everything-but-good, diabolical, work of evil that was Miss Screwball, who was now standing on top of the frizz-haired mare, 'BLEEBLEBLEEBLEBLEE-ING" down at her in the most random and unexpected way known to pony-kind.

This, of course, pushed the frizz-haired mare over the edge, causing to her to bark like a dog and live the rest of her life mindlessly at the Equestrian Mental Institute after being escorted from the evil facility of sinister. If you feel compassion for this frizz-haired mare, please send donations in equestrian bits to the Equestrian Mental Institute where we are working for the betterment of Equestria.

Yes. Miss Screwball takes NOTHING from NOPONY, EVER.

This is what happens when you do something Miss Screwball doesn't like.

Anyway, after all of this happened a more serious pony entered the story to take the poor frizz-haired mare's place. His name is Red Velvet. Donning a crimson coat with a golden mane and tail, Red Velvet was known throughout the  underground Equestrian world as the smooth talker. The deal maker. The one who calls the shots. He was the criminal mastermind.

After leading Miss Screwball into the facility, Red Velvet and Miss Screwball entered a meeting hall with a long table, chairs sitting along it, and with two chairs sitting side by side by the end. Each chair (except for the two chairs sitting side by side at the end) had a pony sitting at them as well. Red Velvet and Miss Screwball sat themselves down at the chairs at the end of the table.

Well, sortof. Miss Screwball chose to hover upside-down above her chair while "Bleeblebleebing," instead of actually sitting down like any... Normal... Pony would.

After some coughs coming from one of the listening henchmen at the table, Red Velvet spoke.

...Hello? Are you seeing this?

Good, because we finally fixed up our facility after Discord's attack. Still repairing some, though, but... Hey, the muffin machine is up and running again so everything is okay!

Oh, and I picked up what Discord had wrote out earlier, and I wanna say... I have been keeping some information from you guys because this stuff is confidential and stuff, but I wouldn't lie to any of you - that would be reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally-times-infiity bad, cause that's falsifica... falsifi... well, whatever that is... of information! I could get fired! And then, no more muffins - that would be horrible!

But I've got some good news! We found out how Discord hacked the magic system in our facility, and now that's fixed too. Well, for the most part.

I mean, he won't be able to create his own documents (unless we want him to), but he could alter some which you're getting in some... mischievous ways. But don't worry! It shouldn't be that bad. I don't think...

Anyway, we're going to let you continue seeing what was going on with this... Red Velvet character. He sounds important, and we haven't heard of him before. Really! So now you guys are more than just informants for ourselves, but you're also getting the information for us too! Pretty sweet, huh?

"Ladies and gentlecolts,"

Everypony except Miss Screwball immediately gave Red Velvet their full attention.

"As you probably don't know right now," Red Velvet began, "we lost one of our mares to the silliness prowess of Miss Screwball, and as such I want you to pay Miss Screwball much of your respect."

Miss Screwball then began to spin around in circles, reciting the alphabet backwards.

"Miss Screwball is new to our team here at our sinister facility of evilness, and she deserves every bit of respect as me because I am nominating her as co-executive."

Miss Screwball finally sat down in her chair... But she was sitting down on her head.

"Miss Screwball is going to be a part of our new plan, our new cover-up. Because nopony in Equestria would ever guess that we would hire someone so..."

As Red Velvet trailed off, Miss Screwball started bouncing up and down in her chair while making farting noises with her mouth every time she landed on the chair cushion.

"Eccentric?" suggested one of the henchmen.

Red Velvet glanced back at the henchmen "I was going to say 'unfocused'."

"So what crime are we covering up?" Asked one of the other henchmen.

"The crime?" replied Red Velvet, "Well, I'll tell you, if you're too cannot for some reason remember. The crime we committed, was...