The Future's So Bright...
I gotta wear shades! were Twiliight's first thoughts as she woke up to another beautiful day of being alive. It's true; the bright sun was in her eyes; she had forgotten to close her blackout curtains the previous night. But now was not the time to dwell upon this. Now was the time to get morning drunk. So she broke out the Bacardi and poured herself a shot. Now properly lubricated, she set off to do her shopping.
The first Pony she visited was Carrot Top. Carrot Top was selling carrots as Carrot Top is wont to do. "Good morning, Carrot Top!" Twilight shouted. "Good morning, Twilight!", she responded. "Sucked any good cock lately?"
Twilight smiled. "Indeed I have. Indeed I have. Just last night, I drained Blueblood dry. That stallion won't be walking straight for a week. I drained him like Luna drained the national budget with her 'State-sanctioned dildo collection'."
Carrot Top returned the smile. "Sounds great Twilight. Everyone knows Blueblood is a vampire, so it's nice to hear somepony is sucking fluids from him for a change."
"Yep," Twilight agreed, dried cum still on her lips. And you?"
"Oh, I had a solid go at Trouble Shoes. Good thing I've practiced on bowling pins because his dick is huge."
Twilight nodded. "Of course, of course. They know what they say, the bigger the stallion, the bigger the stallionhood."
"Not always," Carrot Top warned. "Have you seen Shining Armor's schlong? Fucking pathetic!"
"Ahhhh," Twilight corrected, "But he's a grower, not a shower. Trust me, I've taken it on a test drive a few times, and his schlong more than performs adequately. Excellent endurance as well."
"Wait, you've ridden your brother's dick?" Carrot Top inquired.
Twilight was nonplussed. "Of course I have. Really, who hasn't?"
"True, True," Carrot Top agreed. "So then, any plans for today?"
"Oh yes," the purple alicorn replied, "I have a busy schedule of dick-sucking ahead of me."
"Good, Good. Too many mares today just aren't focused on dick sucking like they used to be. Damned shame if you ask me."
"Yes it is. So many unsatisfied stallions," Twilight agreed. "So many mares these days are only interested in scissoring. Now! Don't get me wrong; I love rubbing my labia against another mare's thigh as much as the next filly, but there's nothing like a good twitching cock in my mouth."
"Well best of luck procuring that. I'm going to be selling carrots. And sticking them in my vagina*
*As of a certain after dark panel at BABSCon, I can now say I've seen Amy Keating Rogers sing her vagina song.
"Well, have fun with that! Toodles!" And with that, Twilight Sparkle was off. She forgot to buy some carrots though. Oops.
Twilight Sparkle's next errand was buying a new crucifix. She had broken her previous one whacking Blueblood over the head repeatedly when he had tried to suck her blood last night on account of being a vampire. It didn't really work well though, because Ponies don't believe in Jesus Christ. Except for Fluttershy.
You ever notice how pony stores seem to sell two items? Quills and Sofa for example. There are other examples I am forgetting. Anyway, Twilight paid a visit to Crucifixes and Hedgehogs. She bought a crucifix. She was considering getting a hedgehog, but figured Owlicious might eat it.
After buying the crucifix, it was time for the afternoon's main event: Dick Sucking. Inasmuch, Twilight Sparkle decided to pay a visit to Sweet Apple Acres. Now, I could get clever and have her suck off a futa AJ or something, but I'm going to go super old fashioned, and throw in some classic TwiMac. Remember when that ship was a thing? So Twilight Sparkle went right up to Big Mac and asked him if he wanted a blowjob. Remember kids, consent is sexy. Big Mac is a sexy bisexual beast, so he's always up for some head from Purple Smart. So Twilight Sparkle slid on down under the stallion and started sucking him off. Now you guys know how a blowjob works so I'm not going to go into too much of the detail. Basically Twilight had to turn her head sideways so she didn't stab Big Mac in the stomach with her horn and his balls were slapping against her cheek but you get how these things work. She went at it for a good 5 minutes and then he blew his load in her mouth. And a lady always swallows.
So having delivered this perfunctory popsicle vacuum surprise to the large red stallion, Twilight Sparkle moved on to her next task: give more blowjobs. She loved making lists, and so she had a list of stallions (and a few mares) she needed to suck off before she could claim the title of Ponyville's premier oral cock sleeve.
In her next course of action, she found Cheese Sandwich. He was in town for a convention. And you know what she did once she found him? That's right, she sucked his dick.
So over the course of the afternoon, while of course continuing to wear those sweet sunglasses she donned in the morning, She sucked off Braeburn, Burnt Oak, Cattail, and many other ponies. Many of these ponies didn't even live in Ponyville, but were in town for a dick sucking convention Twilight had organized. Twilight loved organizing and stallions (and a few mares) loved getting fellated, so it was really a win win for all parties involved.
As the afternoon lengthened into evening, Twilight wiped the salty horse semen off her lips, courtesy of her latest conquest. "Wow," she said to herself, very glad she had her sunglasses on because the sun was kind of in her eyes, "I sucked eighty seven dicks today. That's pretty fucking impressive, If I may say so myself."
Well, dearest Twilight, so close to our hearts with your relatable slutty bookworm behavior, it is impressive. You should be proud of yourself.
And we all say: "That pony sure loves sucking dick."
Indeed, Twilight's last thoughts that night before passing out were "I sure love sucking dick."
