Author's Note

Didn't even really try for this chapter because I'm a lazy fuck and I don't expect anyone to enjoy it. But whatevs, it gave me something to do.

Book Horse 2 - The Chapter in which resides the pony known as Twilight Sparkle and the human known as Anon

“So, Anon was it? You said something about not being able to return home?”

Yes he fucking did. Seriously, fuck you dude.

“Fuck you Narrator, I do what I want, biatch. And yeah, Purple-Horse. My world isn’t attached to Equestria via portal.”

Anon, I swear to all that is D E U S V U L T I will crusade you, ya autist fag.

Twilight takes a moment to think over the cunt’s claim. “Are you sure? I mean, I’ve been over there an-”

“Twilight Sparkle, so help me I will slap you. Do I look like I traveled through the portal? I’m not a pony in this world, meaning I didn’t come through any rift to this world,” Anon stifles a laugh. “Technically I did, since Sweetie Belle summoned me.”

“Ok, I’m confused. You’re human, but not from Earth? How does that work?”

“Oh no, I am from Earth. Just not the one you know. In my world or universe or whatever, Equestria is part of a cartoon called My Little Pony. And I must say, I’m excited to meet you.”

T-Minus ten seconds until fangasm.

“Excuse me while I scream about how excited I am,” Anon inhales deeply and releases all his spaghetti, fettucini, and cup noodles. “OH MY GOD, I’m talking to Twilight Sparkle! I’m in Equestria! Fuck yeah, every brony’s dream!”

The purple horse looks at the green man with a look that screams ‘the fuck?’.

“Hehehe, sorry about the outburst. I’m genuinely happy to meet you.”

Dude, you’re fucking gay. Like legit gay for liking technicolor ponies. Ponies are for little girls.

“Piss off, Narrator. You’re just jealous that I’m here in a physical body and you’re just a disembodied voice, nyigga.”

I’m not jealous, fag. I’m just bored. Can you just fuck the horse already? Writing clop would one hundred percent be much easier than writing your shit-tier story.

Twilight clears her lavender throat of the spooge that is her mucus. “Excuse me, but it is extremely immature to swear as much as you. Especially since I’m trying to have a civil discussion about where you come from. And who are you talking to?”

Kek, she thinks you’re crazy.

“Oh, I hear the voice of a narrator telling me off. Bastard won’t SHUT UP and leave me alone for about 5 seconds.”

Twilight’s eyes go all crazy-like and she jumps up onto Nonny-boi. They gon’ fuuuck. “Oh. My. Celestia! I totally get it. One time, there was a voice exactly like that following me! Are you telling me that you HEAR him? What’s his name? Is it even a he? Where did yo-”

Wut. No seriously, wut? She’s heard a narrator before and it wasn’t my fine ass? Bitch, this is my world and there ain’t any other narrator.

Anon places a grubby little finger upon the flapping flesh flaps that are Twittle Horse’s lips. “According to him, he’s the only narrator. His name is Narrator and I met him when I came home from work. Does that answer your question?” She nods. “Ok then. Now, back to the matter at hand. You asked what I meant by not being able to go home?”

“Y-yes. But it isn’t logical that there wouldn’t be a portal to your world or dimension or whatever it is you’re from.”

Time to blow her miiind. Tell her about My Little Pony. Tell her about how much clop you have saved to your computer. Tell her you want to come inside Rai-

Anon shakes his head in disappointment at the shit meme I’ve spoken. Just because it’s old, doesn’t make it not funny. “Dude no, that meme is old. Why would you even write that for this? And to respond to your claim, Ms. Sparkle, it does make sense. This might come as a shock but, you and the rest of Equestria are a part of a cartoon in my world.”

Twilight has a blank look on her face. If a stare could speak, hers would be saying ‘This is harder to swallow than horse cock. Specifically Flash Sentry’s dong’. I swear, I want that fucker to burn in Hell. Fucking forced ships are the worst. Stupid M.A. Larson. You just had to ruin my fantasies.

“A cartoon? That’s impossible. I’m standing right here in front of you, and you’re real. That must make me real as well. R-right?” Hehehe, her voice is faltering. Must suck to know you have no free will. Unless there’s a multiverse. Though, I’m just a character in a book. My actions and thoughts are controlled by a writer what do I know? Don’t really give a shit if I’m not real.

“Ditto, Narrator. And Twilight, you aren’t real. Well, you are and you aren’t. You are real because according to the narrator, this world might be part of a multiverse. You aren’t real because in my world there is the cartoon. It’s really complicated.”

Steam is now coming off of Purple Smart’s head. Her mane is starting to become singed near her skull. Or it would if this were a cartoon. She’s just not responding. Heh, I think you broke her. Does this mean the story is over now and I can leave this dickweed?

Anon waves his hand in the air, trying to elicit a reaction. Not getting one, he walks closer and boops her snoot. No response. “I think you’re right about me breaking her. I guess it’s okay to leave her castle now? Sort of need to find a place to live before night falls. Or maybe I’ll live here?” As hilarious as it would be for you to be homeless, I think you should live here in the crystal tree castle thing. Just come back in a few hours and Twittle’s the magic-sparkle-horse here will be fine.

“Yeah, you’re right. Might be a good idea to explore this pony world. Maybe find some tail to smash, if that’s a thing. Don’t really know if these ponies have vaginas or not.”

They probably do and you are a degenerate for wanting to bang pone puss. Disgusting.

“Well, when you’re the only human around, it kind of makes it hard to fuck your own species.”

Touché. Wel, go have fun. I’m going for a smoke break. It’ll give me a chance to get away from your fat ass.

Anon rolls his eyes and walks out of the cavernous map room and out into Ponyville.