Strange Currencies

Strange Mirror had rehearsed the upcoming scene with X in her mind with great clarity on the way over. She would first let him know exactly how much trouble, pain, and inconvenience he had caused her — deliberately or not. Then she would compel him to help her devise a way to arrange the return of her condition and with it the way of life she’d become accustomed to.

But he didn’t answer his buzzer when she got there. Bereft of any plan beyond yelling at X, and utterly exhausted by the day’s events, Mirror found herself unable to think of anything to do but sit on his apartment building’s front steps and brood.

Matthew caught up with her quickly enough. He confirmed that she was physically intact, and then scolded her for allowing herself to get into such danger. That done, he commenced patrolling the tiny front garden for anything to eat.

The changelings had been going to kill her. They had! It was difficult to take it in. Strange Mirror was not a pony with an inordinate fear of death, but it wasn’t something she looked forward to, either. She understood that the process of dying could be quite painful. The memory replayed itself again and again in her mind. Her head hurt, especially where they'd hit her, and where Green Eyes had pulled her hair. She felt a sort of jangly, floating sensation in her body.

As she waited, Strange Mirror began to realize that these were not nice changelings. Some changelings were nice, these days, which is why she had agreed to work for Unremarkable Brown Pony. It had been easy enough to persuade herself that he’d been after business information or blackmail material or something else relatively harmless. But the longer she sat the more and more she began to fear that she’d given them the means to do something very, very bad.

The weather worsened as the evening wore on. Mountain winds blew a cold, soaking rain across the city, pounding into Strange Mirror and making her clothes cling to her sodden coat. She was shivering and sobbing when X finally came home, carrying an umbrella in his mouth.

“Mildred?” he said, dropping his umbrella into his hoof. “Are you all right?”

“I lied to you!” wailed Strange Mirror, wrapping her forelegs around her chest and rocking back and forth.

“Oh… okay? But are you all right?” said X, stepping closer so that he could cover them both with his umbrella.

“I’m a liar and I’m a traitor and something horrible is going to happen and it’s all my fault!” said Strange Mirror.

X gasped. “Mildred, are you married?”

Mirror laughed bitterly, and then started coughing, and then started crying again. She threw her forelegs around X’s withers and bawled into his suit coat. Matthew cawed piteously from underneath a juniper bush.

“Whatever it is, maybe we could discuss it inside?” said X.

✭☆✭☆✭☆✭

X paced back and forth across the tiny open floor space of his apartment, a storm of emotions flickering across his face in sequence. Rage. Pity. Confusion. Fear. More rage. Strange Mirror sat on his bed, a blanket over her shoulders, holding a cup of coffee, watching X and feeling even more miserable than she had outside. Torturing yourself with guilt and shame was one thing. Having another pony confirm that you have, in fact, done something horrible was quite another.

X stopped pacing to look at her. “What…?” He started pacing again. “How…? Why did you…?” He stood on his hind legs and threw his forehooves in the air. “How could you ever have even considered that what you did was an appropriate thing to do? Under any circumstances?”

“I don’t know,” whimpered Strange Mirror.

“You don’t know? Please tell me you put at least a little thought into it before you decided to betray Equestria!”

Strange Mirror winced. “Well, I did, but…”

“But what?” X pointed at the rain pelting on the window. “I’ve half a mind to throw you right back out there and let you fend for yourself!”

Matthew stuck his head out from under the blanket. “Caw,” he begged. “Caaaaw.”

“Don’t you start,” snapped X.

“It wasn’t something I decided all at once,” said Strange Mirror, as calmly as she could. “I was just trying to live with my condition. And that was hard. But it was also all I had. And then you took that away from me, and then everything fell apart.”

X took a deep breath. “Okay. Why don’t you explain the condition thing to me? We’ll start with that.”

Strange Mirror sipped her coffee. “I’ve always been invisible to myself. But things really changed when I got my cutie mark. Our town got a new teacher when I was eleven. She was very strict, and she and I did not get along. Every time she cracked down on our class, it just made me angrier. I found myself looking for new ways to provoke her.”

“My Harmony,” said X. “You are just like Edelweiss.”

“It got to the point where she was trying to have me expelled. My parents talked her into giving me one more chance. They told me that I all I needed to do was be who Mrs. Martinet wanted me to be.” Strange Mirror took a deep breath. “So I tried it. I tried just… thinking obedient thoughts. And it worked. She didn't care if I talked out of turn, or drew on my desk, or flew paper airplanes. If I raised my hoof, she took whatever answer I gave her as correct. I told her the capital of Yakyakistan was forty-two, a triangle had eight sides, and the definition of “participle” was “Mrs. Martinet is a stupid cunt-faced sow”. Even my classmates didn’t seem to notice. When I got home, and my parents told me what a wonderful, obedient little girl I was, and how proud they were that I’d gotten my cutie mark.” She laughed bitterly. “Everypony talks about what a big deal it is to get your cutie mark, but I didn’t even notice when I got mine.”

X turned pale. “That’s the most horrible thing I’ve ever heard.”

Strange Mirror made a wry expression. “It’s not an excuse for anything. But the temptation to misuse it was overwhelming. And it's not like I could lead a normal life like that, was it? I stowed away on a train to Canterlot and started learning to be a con mare. I’m self-taught. so I made some mistakes. Like trying to scam a changeling. But they saw potential in my condition and they hired me. And the rest was history. Until you.”

“Until me?” said X, looking bewildered. “What did I do?”

Strange Mirror spread out her forelegs and waved her coffee cup at him. “I don’t know. Something! This is all your fault! You came in me and my life has been a disaster ever since!”

“Well maybe its because you’re so much like Edelweiss,” suggested X.

“I'm really getting sick of that comparison,” said Strange Mirror.

“I’m sorry. I’ll try not to say anything about it, ever again. But when I looked at you the first time, I saw Edelweiss, because that’s who I wanted to see, right? But then I started talking to you, and you started… coming into focus for me. It’s kind of odd, looking back on it. Like I was looking at Edelweiss, and there’s Mildred gradually bleeding through that image. But It didn’t bother me at the time, for some reason.”

“Because magic,” said Strange Mirror.

“Exactly!” said X. “Like… maybe I used my memories of Edelweiss as kind of an anchor to help me see through the illusion, to the real you! And then we made love, and I fixed you! With my love!”’

Strange Mirror sneered. “Don’t pat yourself on the back too hard, you’ll pull a muscle. And you’re not in love with me. We just met.”

“Love at first sight is a thing. It totally is.”

“Anyway, that's not what happened. What happened is that you’re obsessed with me because I remind you of your ex-marefriend. The emotional energy from that fucked up whatever magical effect I’ve had on me for most of my adult life. Which… honestly, that would be wonderful. Except its likely to get me killed before I have a chance to enjoy it.”

X tapped his hooves together. “So yeah. I feel like we’re getting away from the treason thing.”

Strange Mirror nodded. “Right. I’ve had a think, while we’ve been talking. I’ve decided I’m going to fix that.”

“Fix it how?”

She shrugged. “Any bright ideas? I’m still not sure how what I gave them could be dangerous.”

“You were converting old financial records into Twilight Sparkle’s new ledger system, right? We use that at work, now. It’s really good!”

“So you said last night. Several times, actually. Without prompting,” said Strange Mirror.

“Well,” said X, “what records were you working in?”

“I was assigned to Accounts Payable: Infrastructure Maintenance and Repair. I started with year 950, and the last one I sent to the changelings was 993, I think.”

X’s jaw fell open. “Infrastructure! And you didn’t think they could do anything bad with that?”

Strange Mirror winced. “Well, I tried not to linger on it too much.”

“A lot happened in that date range,” said X. “Is there…” He frowned as gears turned in his head. “Is there any way I could look at those ledgers? I might be able to figure out what the changelings are after. Maybe we could warn somepony.”

Strange Mirror raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know. We’d have to sneak you into Central Archives. That would be illegal. Are you up for that?”

X grimaced, and leaned away from her. “Oh, it would be illegal wouldn’t it?”

Strange Mirror smiled and set down her coffee. “Let’s do this. It’ll broaden your horizons.”

✭☆✭☆✭☆✭

Strange Mirror stepped up to the security pony at the front desk and flashed her badge. “We’ve found an irregularity in the records, and Staples asked me to bring in an outside consultant to have a look at it.”

“At nine o’clock at night?” said the guard, plucking the ID out of Strange Mirror’s hoof before she could tuck it away.

“It’s very urgent,” said Strange Mirror. “This is Numbers Numbers from the accounting firm of Dewie, Cheetham, and Howe. He’ll be assisting me tonight.”

X — who was wearing dark glasses, a fake mustache, and a different colored suit coat than usual — nodded seriously and handed the guard a business card, still warm from the press at the late night printer’s shop.

“I don’t know about this,” said the guard, tilting back her cap to scratch her head. “You said Staples told you to do this?”

“Yes. Yes she did,” said Strange Mirror.

The guard blew out through her nose. “Well, fine, I guess.” She tossed her ID card back to Strange Mirror, and pulled out a clipboard. “He has to sign in, though.”

Strange Mirror lead X down the long, wide main towards the stacks. There is a certain majesty and mystery to a large building at night. Spaces meant to be filled with the voices and bustle of dozens of ponies were filled only with the echo of one’s own hoof-steps. The stacks were vast. Bookshelves so tall they needed a ladder tall enough to be useful to the fire department were laid out like spokes on a wheel around a central reading area. Three more stories rose above them, each packed with more bookshelves, up to a domed rotunda painted with a gilded mural depicting the pontifications of the virtues of Organization, Wisdom, and Punctuality.

“Whoa,” said X.

“This way,” said Strange Mirror.

She led him to an alcove and up a spiral staircase to the second floor, rolled a ladder over, and began pulling out ledgers.

“There are kind of a lot of them,” she said. “Is there any way to narrow it down?”

“Actually I was thinking about that,” said X. “Get me… let's start with 952, 959, 967 and 68, and… the second half of 970.”

“All right,” said Strange Mirror, handing down the books one or two at a time. “We’ve got an intellectual, here.”

“That’s right,” said X, laying the books on the floor in front of him. “If you want to help, the kind of things we’re looking for would be expenditures above one million bits.”

So she settled in next to X and started leafing through ledgers. They were at it for some time. It was pleasant, sitting next to a pony she liked and reading — granted, the material wasn’t inherently engaging, but the mystery gave it a savor it wouldn’t ordinarily have had. And she hadn’t gotten to enjoy real companionship in some time. She especially liked when she found something she could share with him; they would discuss it and set it aside for later consideration.

That thought gave her pause. Was she really that shallow? Ponies’ lives could be at risk, and she was enjoying the thrill of it? She blew out through her nostrils in frustration. It was bad to be more interested in thrills than in the consequences of her actions. Was she a bad pony?

“Did you find something?” said X, lifting his head.

“No, my mind was wandering.” She looked down at her hoof, which was resting over an entry for ten point two million bits. “Wait, what’s this?”

X craned his neck over towards her book. “‘Repairs: Third Buttress, Palace Tier’. What year is this? 970? This is it! This is the one.”

Strange Mirror squinted at him. “How do you know that?”

“First, it’s near the end of the range you worked on. I doubt your Unremarkable Brown Pony just happened to be ready to fire you at the same moment you became an unreliable resource. He probably went back to the most recent useful thing you’d found and decided to move ahead with that.”

“Okay,” said Strange Mirror, “But I still don’t get what the big deal is with this particular repair?”

“There was an earthquake in the Canter River Valley in the second month of 970. Those are rare in this region, and usually not very powerful, but this one caused major damage to the third buttress of Palace Tier. But the Equestrian economy was still recovering from the parasprite infestation of ’67 and ’68. The royal budget was tight due to reduced tax income, and they’d switched policy from going to the most qualified contractor, to hiring the lowest bidder.”

Light dawned behind Strange Mirror’s eyes. “Which means sub-standard repairs to an important piece of municipal architecture.”

“Exactly!” said X, jumping up. “They’ll be targeting that, I’ll guarantee it.”

“We’ve got to stop them!” said Strange Mirror.

“No, we’ve got to tell the guard,” said X. “We can’t just…”

Then Strange Mirror heard something. She held up a hoof, silencing X. There were voices approaching from the entrance.

“And they went back this way?” Staples’ voice echoed around the rotunda.

“Yes. I’m sorry I let them in,” came the security guard’s voice.

“Don’t be. There’s something going on with that Mildred Do. I used to think she was a model employee, but I’m suddenly seeing my memories of her very differently. I suspect magic.”

“Mother fucker,” hissed Strange Mirror. “Quick, this way.”

She guided him around the rotunda to a back stair, and out the fire exit. A magic alarm started wailing the second the pushed the handle, making them both jump.

Strange Mirror had had the forethought to park her bike in the alley behind Central Archives; she hurried into the bike seat, scooted forward, and patted the seat behind her. X climbed up behind her, fumbling with panic. She started pedaling, and X spread his wings to either side for balance.

“Stop squirming!” shouted Strange Mirror as they rolled away.

“You’re taking up the whole seat!” said X.

Strange Mirror grunted, and rose up off the seat, using the position to get extra power. She darted down the alley and around a corner into the street. Glancing leftward, up the street that was the straightest route back to Central Archives, she saw a royal guard on the corner, talking to the security guard.

“Mother of whores!” hissed Strange Mirror, and twisted the handlebars to the right.

“You! You there! Halt!" shouted the guard.

Another alley was coming up her left. Strange Mirror turned sharply, whipping around a street lamp, the corner of a newspaper box missing her and X’s left thighs by inches.

“What are you doing?” yelped X.

Strange Mirror didn’t respond. The streets and alleys of Canterlot were a tangled place, and alleys could wind around the backs of whole neighborhoods. Local ponies used them as hoof paths, avoiding the heavier traffic of main thoroughfares. Strange Mirror used this to her advantage, zipping between buildings in a snakelike pattern. Some of the alleys were so narrow that X had to fold his wings as bricks zipped by inches from their shoulders.

Soon the sounds of pursuit were far behind them and finally lost. Strange Mirror relaxed, sinking back into her seat against X’s body.

“Enjoying the ride?” said Strange Mirror, the corner of her mouth quirking up into a smirk. He'd gotten hard as a fence post the moment her body had touched his.

“Mildred, look out!” he said, wrapping his forelegs around her.

The alley in front of them ended in empty air. A staircase, crooked and narrow, loomed below them. There were treetops beneath Mirror's eye level. She squinted her eyes closed and braced herself for the crash. The ground fell away with a sickening lurch.

And she didn’t fall. Strange Mirror opened her eyes. Wind whipped past her face. X’s wings were spread, letting them glide down over the stairs to the small park below them.

“We’re flying!” squealed Strange Mirror, giggling with glee. “Flying!”

“Hold on tight!” shouted X.

They crashed through some tree branches, leaves scattering around them. The bike’s wheels hit the ground and bent. Its frame gave way with a resigned, metallic groan. Strange Mirror and X tumbled away from the wreck, rolling through grass and wet leaves. Finally, they came to a stop in a tangled heap of legs and wings.

“Are you all right?” said Strange Mirror, breathing hard, still wanting to giggle.

“I think I skinned my everything. But nothing’s broken. Are we safe?”

“I think the guards are gone.” Strange Mirror wriggled out from under X, and walked a few paces, then bounced on her hooves, making sure nothing important was damaged. She felt free. Alive. Horny.

Mirror flipped her tail up over her back. “Hey, you wanna?”

She half expected him to complain that they were in public, or that ‘on the run from the law’ wasn’t the best time for a quickie. But instead, he walked up behind her and took a deep whiff. She looked back at him as he curled up his lip to savor her scent. He was still wearing the fake mustache and glasses. She laughed. He nipped her on her rump. She whacked his face with her tail.

“Skip the foreplay and get inside me, Romeo,” she said. He hopped up on her back, wings spread wide. His forelegs gripped her belly, and after a couple of missed stabs he found the right spot and surged inside of her.

Strange Mirror gasped with pleasure and reached back with a forehoof to touch herself.

“Why are you on three legs?” he groaned as the two of them wobbled under his weight. “We’re going to fall down!”

“So I can cum! I’m not going to be able to get off with you hammering away at me like that! No, no, no, don’t get off! I like the hammering! I just need more… directed stimulation.”

“Wait, I know a trick,” said X. He slid halfway out of her and began making little, sharp jabs into her. The position and the angle allowed him to hit her little nub with the ring around the middle of his shaft, sending jolts of pleasure through her body.

“Oh. Oh, that’s nice. Who taught you that?” said Strange Mirror.

“Edelweiss,” said X.

“I shouldn’t have asked,” she moaned. “Faster. Faster! Oh, Harmony!”

Joy mounted rapidly in Strange Mirror’s body. The electric jolts soon became burning waves, slamming through her, making the hairs of her coat stand on end. She came in a rush. Light flashed behind her closed eyelids. Her ears rang.

“Now! All the way! harder!” she gasped.

X understood. He shoved himself all the way into her, hitting her deepest depth. Her whole body shook under his strength, making her soft flesh jiggle, and her bones ache. She reached down with a hoof again, rubbing at her sex frantically, not caring if they fell down. She felt X’s body jerk, heard him bite back a scream, and he was squirting inside of her, filling her so full it hurt. She ground her hoof against herself and came again, blinding white light flashing behind her eyes.

“Oh wow,” purred Strange Mirror, opening her eyes. She had double vision. She realized she was drooling. “That was amazing. You fucked me so hard I can’t even see straight.”

“Felt… felt so good,” said X. His glasses had slid down his snout and his mustache was askew.

“It sure did,” said Strange Mirror, flicking him with her tail. “Now let's get out of her before the guards find us.”

They left the wreck of the bike in the park, threw their clothes in a trash can they passed on the way, and staggered back to X’s apartment. Matthew was asleep in the middle of the bed. They collapsed onto it around him, touching at the head and hind hooves.

They kissed until they both fell asleep.