"How dare you!"

Top Hat Tootington the Third threw his namesake headwear to the ground, probably because it was so caked in fire retardant foam it now much more resembled a large unwieldy marshmallow than a several-hundred-bit designer headpiece. His equally expensive designer vest jacket and dress shirt were also completely covered in the thick foam, along with much of his face and shoulders. He might've been about to have an angry shave.

"I'll have you sent to the guard house for this, you alien freak! What is this disgusting substance you have assaulted me with?" Top Hat cried, attempting to rub the foam from his face with a forehoof. "Sweet Celestia—my eyes! You have blinded me!"

A few of Top Hat's fellow noble ponies gave Luke scathing looks of disapproval, but they quickly adopted a more neutral expression when Fleur took several steps toward their party. Top Hat paled. Evidently, he hadn't quite forgotten his last encounter with the supermodel.

Several of them cried out in fright when her horn lit up, but all the spell did was rid Top Hat of most of the unsightly deposits covering his coat and clothing. "Walk away now Top 'At, and I'll have somepony grant you an unlimited dress token from the J’adore corporation. You know as well as anypony zat I 'ave the talents of the best designers on Equador at my disposal. Call the guards, 'owever, and nopony shall be replacing your attire.” She smiled, turning back to the Audi. "Your call, mon ami."

Top Hat scowled. "You can't buy me! No! The guards will very much be hearing about this!"

Luke flipped Top Hat the bird, chucking the expended fire extinguisher back in the boot and slamming the lid. The gesture was lost on the stallion, but he seemed to understand it's meaning. "Call them," Luke snorted, hopping back into his car. Fleur finally figured out how to open the passenger door, as she climbed gracefully into the other side, swinging it closed with her magic.

"I'll see you in Celestia’s Court, you vile, petulant, repulsive-"

VRROOOOOAAARRRTD-TDD-TDD-TDD-TDD!

All of Top Hat's comrades scattered, disappearing up a long gravel path leading up to one of the mansions hidden by the thick tree line. The stallion himself wagged his irate muzzle a bit more, but was ultimately drowned out by Luke’s foot resting on the accelerator.

Luke lifted a finger to his earlobe. "What's that buddy? I can't hear you. You'll have to speak up."

It wasn’t long before the stallion turned up his muzzle, trotting up the path after his fancy looking friends with an air of having been thoroughly offended. Luke lifted his foot, the engine dropping back down to idle. He turned to Fleur, who looked extremely out of place sat hunched over in the leather bucket seat, her horn tip awkwardly pressing against the roof lining.

“We should probably have that talk,” Luke muttered, finally remembering his car had a sunroof now that a forty-foot long, raging chaos-siren wasn’t trying to eat him. He pressed the button, and it opened with a slow, mechanical whirr.

It was easy to see that Fleur knew what he was to her. Even without the mildly omniscient look on her face, she had probably known for a while now. She glanced up at the opening roof, her eyebrows raising a shade. “Thank you, mon amour,” she said, finally able to move her head freely. “And, oui—we ‘ave a lot to talk about, but I would much prefer to ‘ave such a conversation in private, and maybe with a glass of whiskey.”

“Now that, mon chéri, sounds like a plan.”

With a low rumble, the car slowly pulled away, heading further into the estate. Fleur lowered her head a little, smiling. One of her ears flicked, and her cheeks were perhaps a shade rosier. “It eez so cute when you try, mon amour.” Her horn flashed, and the melted windscreen instantly repaired itself.

Luke raised an eyebrow. “Well, aren’t you just full of surprises?”

“Simple Controlzee reversal enchantment, mon cher.”

Luke gave her an incredulous look. “What?”

Fleur chuckled, opening her mouth to explain, but all that came out of it were the words: “Uh-oh…”

Luke’s eyes snapped to the cul de sac, which was positively crawling with a diverse plethora of royal guards. Earth ponies, unicorns, pegasi. Even bat ponies. He hit the brakes, slowing to a crawl. Many of them brandished spears and shields as the car approached, but quickly backed away as it drew nearer. Had that uppity fuckwit actually called them? “Fuck me. That was quick.”

Fleur had a sombre look on her face, her ears near enough flat to her mane. She closed her pretty eyes with a forced chuckle. “Zey are not ‘ere for you, Luc.”

Luke rubbed a palm down the side of his face, pulling up just shy of the cullis gate with a long, drawn out sigh. “What did you do?”

Fleur wasn’t looking at him. "I 'ave been a bad, bad siren, Luc."

Pressing a finger to the start-stop button, Luke killed the car’s engine. A burly pegasus mare wearing a full set of heavy bronze armour stepped up to the passenger side of the car, tapping her hoof to the window. Luke hit the switch to open it, giving her a questioning look, but she was utterly focused on Fleur and Fleur alone.

Another guard, this one a strikingly purple, lightly armoured soldier of the night, fluttered her leathery bat wings, damn near knocking the heavily armoured day guard aside. “Princess Luna, royal diarch of Equestria and sole matriarch of Equador’s moon, requests an audience with the fair noblemare, Lady Fleur de Lis, at her earliest convenience,” the bat mare proclaimed, rolling her R’s so much that they may as well have just pulled up outside a nightclub in Barcelona. “I present to you her calling card. Take him, if you will.”

Luke frowned at the mare, but like the pegasus, she didn’t bother to spare him a glance. Maybe Equestrian wasn’t her first language? Since when did a bit of cardboard have a gender?

“Thank you, mon amie,” Fleur replied, her ears flat. She smiled, accepting the card with both forehooves and reading it very carefully. “Of course, Princess Luna is welcome at my ‘ome anytime she likes.”

“I will inform her of your acceptance,” the batmare said with a nod, before launching herself into the air with all the speed and agility of a balverine.

Luke flinched so hard the car’s suspension rocked. He threw a glance through the open sunroof, but the dark mysterious mare was already long gone. Shit. Were all bat ponies that fast?

“Ahem,” the armoured day guard interjected, throwing a somewhat pointed look at Fleur. It was kinda hard to tell with that ridiculous helmet on her head. “Princess Celestia, royal diarch of Equestria and sole matriarch of Equador’s sun, requests an audience with her fair noble subject, Lady Fleur De Lis, at her earliest convenience,” she said, with a slight southern twang to her voice.

Again, Fleur accepted the offered calling card with both forehooves and a fake smile, her ears flat to her mane. “Princess Celestia also knows she is welcome to visit my ‘ome anytime she likes.”

The pegasus, like the batmare, gave a nod. “I will let the princess know.” With that, she leapt into the air, clearly trying to outdo the bat pony in speed and agility. It was a fair effort, but she didn’t quite have the edge on the night guard.

"What's with all the appointment making?” Luke asked, pulling the switch to roll the window back up and restarting the engine. Several of the remaining guards jumped, throwing their not-so-subtle glances through the tint. Fleur was staring at the two calling cards in her hooves with almost vacant eyes. “I thought you and the royal sisters just drop in on each other anytime you like?"

Fleur shook her head, her smile gone. “Celestia and I, oui. But, she does like to throw ‘er guards around when she is upset. Luna, on the ozzer hoof, always requests any appointment with me by sending ‘er strongest warriors. She is a very traditional pony. It is a mark of respect for ‘er to do zis. She does not give zis treatment to everypony.”

Fleur charged her horn, the calling cards disappearing with a pop. Her ears were still flat. “We best deal with zis.” She locked eyes with the wrought iron unicorn embedded into the cullis gate, which was glaring around at the many guards occupying the cul de sac with increasing levels of disdain. “When the princesses arrive, let zem in, okay? Ouvrir.”

The unicorn nodded, closing her glowing eyes. Her embedded sapphire gave one last menacing glint before evaporating along with the rest of the gate. Luke put the car into gear with a sigh, pulling away through the vacant archway, the tyres crunching along the gravel path leading up to Fleur’s castle.

“Seriously, Fleur—what the hell did you do?”

Fleur turned, her expression a mix of exasperation and regret. “‘Ee got to me, Luc, okay? I saw you disappear and I… I lost control. I ‘ad no idea where you were, or what ‘ee might ‘ave done to you. I was more scared in zat moment zan I ‘ave ever been in my entire life.”

Without even thinking, Luke reached over the center console and gave one of her forehooves a squeeze. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise-"

CRACK.

“Fuck!”

Luke stamped on the brake pedal. Hard. The Audi skidded to a halt around six feet shy of the two royal alicorns that had just materialised right in front of them. A fair bit of gravel was thrown into the air, some of it hitting Luna in the chest. To her credit, she flat out ignored it.

Neither of them were smiling.

Fleur grimaced. “Well, zat could ‘ave went better,” she cringed, opening the door with her magic and deftly stepping out.

“Yeah.” Luke gingerly hit the stop start button. The car's parking brake automatically engaged, the engine cutting out, and he too stepped out, closing the door behind him.

“Your Royal ‘Ighnesses,” Fleur greeted with a curt bow. “If you would like to follow me, I shall of course endeavour to answer any and all questions you may ‘ave.” She curtly stepped away toward the soul bridge, tail and ears low.

Princess Luna was perhaps even more imposing in reality than she was in the dream realm. There seemed to be a presence about her that Luke had never noticed before during their brief encounters outside of the realm of dreams. She eyed the car with the same curiosity she had in the dreamscape, though this time it was accompanied by noticeable puzzlement.

Princess Celestia merely appeared stoic. Unreadable, even. It was only when Luna stepped up to the Audi for a closer inspection and Fleur busied herself with opening the portcullis that the sun goddess flashed Luke a fleeting wink.

Luke smirked. Just what the hell are you up to, Sunbutt?

“What is this?” she asked.

“A car,” Luna answered, before Luke had even opened his mouth.

Luke leaned on the car’s bonnet. “Yeah. That.”

“How did you get it to Equestria?” Luna asked, her horn glowing, her piercing gaze surveying things not readily visible.

“Well, Discord thought it would be funny to kick me into another dimension. Fleur came to rescue me, and we brought this back with us. It’s my car from Earth,” Luke said with a grin.

Both Celestia’s and Luna’s demeanour changed in an instant, and they shared a look that wiped the smile from Luke’s face. “What?” he muttered.

Celestia brought a forehoof to the base of her horn, letting out a long sigh. “This machine came from one of Discord’s realms?”

“Well, I think he was trying to emulate my home planet. He got some bits right. The car is pretty much spot on.”

“Luke, stand up, please,” Celestia said, her horn glowing.

“Why?”

"Because this carriage may not be safe."

Luke got to his feet, even though he didn't particularly want to. "Look, it's exactly as I remember-"

CRACK.

Where there was previously two tonnes of Audi, nothing but empty space and faint tyre tracks remained. Luke scowled. "Dude!"

Celestia stepped closer, defiant. Even though Luke was taller than her, she had the presence of a being several hundred times her size. "Luke, you are the only one of your kind on this planet, and as an endangered species, you fall under the direct protection of the Crown."

Luke made to raise the first in a string of protests, but Celestia shook her head. "He may have changed his tune in recent years, but I don't like the idea of you riding around in something Discord created."

She was going to put her hoof down on this one. Fuck. Luke wasn't going to go down without a fight. "I finally have something that reminds me of home, and you take it away. What gives?"

"I'll have a team of unicorn engineers examine it. If they find any residual chaos magic, and they are unable to remove it, then my hooves are tied. You are way too important to risk," Celestia countered, her gaze landing on Fleur, who was practically glaring at them from the now fully open portcullis. "If they find nothing, then it shall be returned to you."

"Okay, fine," Luke muttered, lowering his voice so only Celestia could hear. He decided to push his luck. "But you owe me, and I wanna call it in right now."

Celestia, surprisingly, appeared completely unfazed. "Name your price."

Luke idly cracked his knuckles. Celestia must've felt pretty bad to grant him such a boon. Time to put it to good use. "I don't know what it was that Fleur did—she won't tell me—but Discord will have had a lot to do with it. I want you and Luna to take whatever punishment you were planning on throwing her way and replace it with a slap on the hoof."

Her hearing impeccable, Princess Luna stepped closer, her expression dark. "If you wish to know what your siren did, Luke, you need only look at the moon."

As though someone had just activated some sort of monstrous Van de Graff generator, a hum of power reverberated through the air that made the exposed hair on Luke's head and face stand on end.

Both Celestia and Luna radiated an otherworldly force so bizarre and alien that Luke took a couple of steps back out of reflex. It felt like he was back on the moon, with Fleur’s raging magical fury washing through his skin and bones, though this experience was a lot more controlled.

The sun, as though it were nothing more significant than a fucking ping-pong ball, began a carefully measured glide toward the horizon, eventually disappearing beyond it, the sky rapidly darkening in its wake. Luke had witnessed this very spectacle countless times over the past year or so, and it never failed to make him feel like an insignificant ant walking among magic-wielding gods. The feeling was even more so, now he was standing right next to them.

With a subtle nod between the ancient sisters, the mantle was passed.

It didn't take Luke long to spot it. The great natural satellite rose from the horizon to the east, and his jaw fell open. "Ohhh…"

The usually shining, pristine orb of the night sky appeared mutilated by a blackened crater that hadn't been there the night before. It was slightly elliptical in shape, and covered a large enough area that the light streaming from the moon's surface appeared a shade dimmer.

Luke blinked, his heart beating a little quicker in his chest. Fleur had managed to do this? To the fucking moon? Just how powerful was she? His wide eyes sought the mare out, but the still-open portcullis was now noticeably vacant.

The light of her horn fading, Princess Luna observed Luke with sharp eyes, the many stars of her flowing, ethereal mane glinting in the sudden semi-darkness. "Do you understand now what you are dealing with, Luke? We did not speak an untruth when we informed you that the siren Fleur de Lis is a force to be reckoned with."

Luke’s eyes found the crater again. So, this is what happens if Fleur gets angry enough… It made sense why she had teleported to the moon first. Luke paled at the thought of such magical fury being unleashed upon Helix Gap. The town wouldn't stand a chance. It would have been wiped from the face of the planet like a speck of dust. Fuck.

He should have been terrified. Even without Memento Mori, Fleur had the power to fuck up a planetary body. With it… she could probably cancel Equador's subscription to existence.

Yet, such a notion still wasn't enough to chase away the butterflies that gathered in his chest and awkwardly bumped into one another whenever he witnessed that gorgeous smile of hers. It still wasn't enough to quell the absolute thrill that claimed his heart whenever the untethered siren gazed into his soul, all barriers and defences dropped for her. Everytime he let her in, it was as though a tether was being developed further between the three of them. It was already there for Fleur and the siren, a bond with thousands of years worth of history, but new connections were beginning to form. New connections that had latched onto Luke.

This consort business. It was beginning to make sense.

He gave Luna a nod, "I understand," and turned to Celestia. "My price is still firm."

Princess Celestia looked to her younger sister, who was still observing Luke with a gaze laden with insight.

"We do not fool ourselves with the notion we can force the will of Fleur de Lis. Any punishment we or our sister have delivered in the past, in atonement for similar incidents, Fleur has only complied with out of respect," Princess Luna said, gazing up at her scarred charge. "We shall grant her indemnity for her actions on this occasion, but we require something in return. Something from you, Luke."

A chill swept through the night. The temperature had dropped a fair bit now that the sun was absent from the sky. Luke put his hands in the pockets of his jacket. "What do you need?"

"Are we correct in assuming you have made your choice?"

Luke did not need to hesitate. "I'll stand by her side forever, if given half a chance."

Celestia beamed, and Luke half expected the sun to shoot back up into the sky. "You have the power to calm her, Luke. We only ask that you use it on the rare occasion it is needed, to keep Equador safe," she said, her wings shifting against her sides.

Luna nodded in agreement. "We see most immortals as our equals, Luke. Living forever is no easy feat, but if you are willing to try, we shall humbly welcome you to our fold."

Luke smiled. "I'd be honoured."

"Well, seeing as Fleur’s sentence has been reduced to a slap on the hoof, I hardly think we need to be here," Celestia said, her horn beginning to charge.

Luke frowned, throwing a glance between the royal sisters. Luna’s horn was also charged in readiness. “Wait, after all of that song and dance with the guards and the fancy calling cards, you’re just going to up and leave?”

Luna gave one of her rare smiles. “We have what we came for. We believe you could make much better use of Fleur’s company at this particular moment in time.”

Celestia raised a wing to Luke’s shoulder, one of the large, pristine-white primaries grazing his cheek. “Feel free to paint yourself the hero who got her off the hook. Goodnight.” With that, the two sisters disappeared in a flash of bright white light, leaving Luke standing alone on the moonlit gravel.

Author's Note

It's been a while. Life. Busy. Commitments. You know the drill.

Had to split this chapter, so that conversation I hinted at in the comments will more than likely happen in the next update.