Twilight’s Better Kingdom

“Hey.”

“What the… Who the hell are you and how the fuck did you get here? You’re not even dead!” Death sputtered, caught completely off guard.

“I’m here to ask for a favor.”

“Zombeasts! Kill her! Make her feel at home here,” Death ordered as a group of undead beasts approached Twilight with nothing else but the intent to kill. It was what they were made for, after all.

“Please, don’t even bother. I prefer not to waste time,” Twilight said as she evaporated the beasts without a second thought.

“I see how it is. You think you can enter the realm of death and leave alive? My child, you are sadly mistaken,” Death threatened as he stood up from his throne and conjured a mystical blackbody blade.

“The sword of a thousand souls,” Death explained, “It disintegrates anything and anyone it touches. Instant kill. Would you perhaps like a-”

Death was cut off by the fact that he no longer existed.

“You there,” Twilight pointed at the terrified skeletal pony cowering behind the throne, “Charon, is it? Tell me how this place works.”

“Well… uh… when ponies and other creatures reach the end of their life cycle, I guide them here, to the Underworld. Death rules here. Or, he did. Before you... uh… killed him?”

“Blah, blah, blah. Do I look like somepony who has no idea what happens to a dead body? What does he do with the souls?” Twilight inquired frustratingly.

“He… well, I... put them to sleep. For eternity,” Charon answered with his eyes closed, fearing that if he opened them it would be the last time he did so.

“Seriously? That’s it? That is literally the bare minimum work he has to do. And that’s exactly what he does. AND he doesn’t even do it himself. Wow,” Twilight criticized.

“You see, Charon, we have some theories up in the living world. There are many variations, but they all have the same basic idea: Good ponies have a good afterlife, and not good ponies have a not so good afterlife,” Twilight casually explained as she sat on Death’s throne.

“But apparently, your boss decided that he would rather be lazy and just put everyone to sleep. Giving everypony the same treatment, despite how they lived. Now that doesn’t seem right, does it?” Twilight asked.

“Uh… no? No. No! It’s not right!” Charon responded with vigor, saluting Twilight.

“That was rhetorical, sweetie,” Twilight rolled her eyes, “I’m going to create a new Underworld order. And you, Charon, are going to maintain it.”

“Ma’am, yes ma’am!”

“First off, no more of those ‘Zombeasts’. They are both useless and just hideous, don’t you think?”

“I agree. Absolutely. Disgusting and vile.”

“Again, rhetorical. Second, you will review the lives of all deceased ponies as they come. If they lived a just life, they will be sent here,” Twilight ordered as she opened a portal she had prepared to a beautiful and endless field of grass, water, and clear skies.

“If they lived a balanced life, filled with both good and evil, they will be put to sleep. Like before.”

Charon nodded. He was good at doing that.

“And if they lived a life of malice, they will be sent… here,” Twilight finished as she conjured up another portal to a seemingly endless void with a deep crimson glow.

“What… What is that?”

“Hell. Well, my version of it, at least. It’s designed to stimulate nerve endings without damaging them. For eternity.”

Was it just his imagination, or did the throne room get a lot colder?

“You’ll also be reviewing the lives of all the ponies before I got here as well,” Twilight added.

Despite knowing how much work was ahead of him, Charon knew it would be nothing compared to what she would do to him if he refused.

“I have some good friends in there, so do your job well. Or you’ll wish you did,” Twilight winked as she teleported back into Equestria, leaving poor Charon with full hooves.