Buy Our Toys™

Somewhere in a factory in Equestria.

Twilight has the widest grin ever. She is so happy to see ponies wow. Might have something to do with these intravenous drugs they are forcing her to take. But she is convinced she might be doing the right thing currently. Toys bring happiness. Happiness is friendship. She grins terrifyingly wide and waves her hoof slowly back n forth.

"Hello friends of Equestria~!" She says on the big screen. Behind her a bunch of children looking bored outside the massive window wall like a regular news channel. Except there are also fake plastic clouds hearts and rainbows taped all around.

"Today if we do not meet our #ToyQuota™ they are going to remove my wings and banish me from Equestria forever!" Sad face. "Where I won't be able to meet all my friends: Rainbow Dash; Fluttershy" She proceeds to list basically every toy in their inventory. "But don't you fret!-" The sound of whips overshadow the TV's audio, as Twilight's saccharine smile returns. "Equestria is hard at work to make sure each toy is #SuperSpecialAndUnique".

The factory ponies complain. "My hooves hurt."

"My wings hurt."

"My brain hurts."

"My feelsss hurt."

The crack of another whip. Its not even a human whipping them. Its some kind of robot. Some genius 20 years ago decided it'd be smart to program the singularity ai to value maximizing ponies in the environment. Hasbro has gained mad profit, and theres no one that can stop them...

Or is there?