Chapter 10: Family Affair

I took another swallow of pony rubbing alcohol. It made my tongue feel prickly and numb, but it wasn't bad. Imagine my surprise when I looked at the ingredients, and it said "alcohol". Nothing else. Perfect. Plus, I had my pants now. Blue jeans, but no underwear. YET.

Add the fact that I'd taken a few bottles for my personal pleasure, and was now watching as the alcoholics of the hospital now fighting over the last bottle, and I was a happy little camper. Well, happy, DEADLY, and BIG camper would be more accurate.

Celestia walked into the room, absolutely baffled at what the alcoholics incoherent ramblings could possibly be about. So she asked me.

"Achilles, what is-" I show her the bottle, which only made her tilt her head in confusion.

I groaned slightly, letting my head hang dramatically before popping it back up, "I stole their drinks."

Her feathers ruffle as she sputters. At first, I thought it was indignation. But no. She had tried, and failed, to keep her laughter in. For one with such a motherly voice, she laughed like a little girl.

I chuckled myself a few times, then swallowed some more rubbing alcohol, "So what brings you down here? Certainly isn't the 'decker'." I know I said decór wrong, but I don't care. Just trying to see if Celestia would pick up on it.

And she did. With a raised eyebrow, she tentatively asked, "Decker?"

I nodded, "Decker."

She opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again, "Do you mean 'decór'?"

"Yeah! That shit!"

"You do know you're saying it wrong, right?"

I shrug my shoulders as I flop into a chair. I take another swig.

She stares at me, like I'd just said I was the king of the cats.

"What? I'm a redneck from Ohio!" Not entirely true, but I thought it was funny in my head.

She promptly slapped herself with a golden clod hoof. Immediately afterwards, straightened herself up to a "proper" posture, and threw me a curveball.

"I want you to introduce yourself to her parents, and after that, your new unit. The family should be here in another few minutes, and you shall have your orders tomorrow. What do you say, Achilles?"

For a brief moment, I do nothing. Then I drink some more of the rubbing alcohol, swallow, and yell, "WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT!!!!"

Celestia seemed nonplussed, as if I'd just asked her the question normally, "Because you need to get yourself out there, introduce yourself to society. If ponies like you, they'll accept you."

I scoffed at that, "I was doing just fine acting like Raindrops' human." I crossed my arms and turned away, pouting like a little kid.

"And rely on Raindrop for your alcohol?" My eyes popped open.

"Well... fuck. Didn't think of that. Fine, I'll do it. But you owe me a case of whiskey, and none of that weak shit! The strong ones that're meant to floor a guy."

"As you wish. I'll stay here with you, so be nice." She emphasized that statement with a deep stare into my eyes.

I just smiled, "Yeah? Sure, I'll be nice. Just realize that our definitions are going to differ slightly." I started taking another swig.

The door opened without warning to reveal the parents and kids. They looked as shocked as me and Celestial were. I coughed up the rubbing alcohol, and just continued coughing hard. Celestia came to my side, trying to help but not knowing how.

"Piss *coooouuugh* off! I'm fine." I say irritated. My lungs were burning from the alcohol, and I could feel (and hear) the vibration of my lungs and chest at each cough.

"Did... Achilles just... speak?" The mother asked.

"Surprise." I said weakly with an awkward smile, already going for another drink.

"Already?! You just coughed it up!" Celestia practically yelled.

"I'm Irish, German, and Russian! Being a drinker is a fuh-" I realized their kids were present, so I couldn't be so liberal with my cursing, "fuh fuh fricking guarantee for me. It's almost literally in my DNA."

"You're what?" The dad asked, obviously lost and confused with how this conversation was going.

"Doesn't matter. Anyhow, Celestia wants me to introduce myself, so here goes." I set my bottle roughly on the side table, and stood up, "My name's Scott Schneider, or as you know me, Achilles. Nice to meet you." I held out my hand for a shake.

They stared at me, and I could see the gears turning in their heads. A moment passed. Then a few more, and more, until there was finally some progress. Their eyes widened substantially, much more than I thought was possible. Their pupils shrank, ears flayed against their skulls, and they took a step back. The boys, they looked confused, heads tilted to the side, faces scrunched up in thought.

"So Achilles is like us? He's smart?" Aqua Jet, the baby blue Pegasus, asked.

"Yep." I grunted, already grabbing the bottle again, and taking a hefty swig.

"Achilles?" The mother asked. Never actually heard her name. Even from the husband. Unless her name was "honey" or "sweetie".

I grunted my question, "huh?" while drinking.

"I...I'm sorry how I treated you before. It must have felt awful to be treated like an animal."

The husband joined in, "And I'm sorry I was testing your patience."

I stared at them with surprise written across my face, "Uh, you're... forgiven?"

It was their turn to be confused, only much more than before, "Aren't you mad about it?"

I shrugged, "Not really. All I know about the humans here is what I learned in the arena, where everything was trying to kill me. Thought you were justified, so I tried not to take it to heart."

"O....k. Uh, I'm not sure how to talk to you." The dad said hesitantly, like if he said the wrong thing a bomb might go off.

I shrugged, "Fine by me. You'll get used to it eventually. Just know this," I smiled in the most playful way possible, "I'm safe."

The ponies shivered once I smiled. Took me a second to realize that it was the smile itself that unnerved them. Humans here, of course, don't smile.

I turn to Celestia, "So. Any clue when she'll wake up? My head hurts more the longer she's asleep, and I'm getting pretty antsy."

She smiles, although something's off about it, "She will wake up soon, Scott, all you have to do... is wait."

She doesn't know at all, does she? I got up, walked to her ear, and whispered ever so faintly so only she could hear.

"So you don't know. Don't you have some sort of 'wellness' spell to cast on her and wake her up?"

She gave me a look that screamed "We'll talk about this later". I grunted, irritated. But I dropped it and went back to sipping more alcohol.

Blue Skies walked up to me, looking me up and down, "Can I ask you something?"

I nod, "Ask away Blue."

"Why do you wear pants?"

I was in the middle of another sip, but I don't spit it out. I stop for a second, thinking of how to answer this. I finally swallow when I have an answer.

"Well, you see... uh, well all humans from where I'm from wear clothes in public."

"All the time?" He asks again with those big, adorable eyes.

I nod, "Yep."

"Why?" Fuck! Is no answer good enough for this kid?! It's adorable, but really making me nervous about how much I'm supposed to say.

"Well, that's kind of complicated. One of the biggest reasons is that humans don't have enough fur to keep ourselves warm. So we make clothes to make us comfortable." I wasn't even going to hint at the other reason. He wasn't old enough by a long shot.

His brother joins him, looking me up and down, "What happened to you?"

That was blunt as hell. Interesting to know that kids from both worlds don't have a sensor. His parents instantly start berating him for asking the question, but...

"Hey! It's fine, I'm cool with it." I look to Aqua, who seems genuinely confused about why his parents seemed so angry about the question, "Ok Aqua. I'll tell you. Just promise me this. Don't just ask anybody a question like that without warning, or asking permission. Ok? Those questions can bring up some bad memories that make people feel bad."

His ears go flat, and he genuinely looks sorry, "I promise. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad."

I smile softly at him. It's kids like this that make me feel happy. Innocent little kids that just try to be nice.

I shake his mane, "It's alright kid, I've gotten over it for the most part, so it doesn't hurt as much it would someone else."

Aqua smiles, knowing that he didn't hurt me, "So you'll tell me?"

I laugh, liking how persistent he was, "Sure I will. So, you know what war is right?"

He nods, "Yeah, it's what Equestria is doing right now! Ponies and minotaurs fighting!"

I click my tongue and point at him, "You got it. See, I was in a war on my planet too. I got hurt a lot, but one time I got hurt really bad, and lost my limbs and eyes. That's why you see all this metal on me."

Aqua scowled, "Why'd they do that to you!? You're such a nice human!"

I smiled warmly at him, "That's the nature of war. People get hurt one way or another. Kind of like with your sister. She's the nicest pony I've ever met, and here she is. All we can do is not take it personally, heal, and hope that the war ends soon."

"That is a nice way of putting it Scott." Celestia said, a warm smile of pride on her face.

I gave her a look of seriousness, "I'll tell you the M-rated version of that later."

She quirked an eyebrow at me disapprovingly, but ultimately dropped it. Good for me and my drinking.

I let Princess Celestia and the parents talk for a bit while I drank and looked sorrowfully at Raindrop, just wishing she would wake up.

An hour went by, the family said goodbye, and left. I turned to Celestia, "So here's the M-rated version."

"Please... don't."

"Oh fuck no. You're gonna hear it, and here it is. War is a fucking nightmare that no one educated well enough, or in their right mind wants to be a part of. War is hell and hell is war. There are no winners, and everyone involved is the loser. Well, except for the politicians. They just get more power... sometimes." I give her a glare, "You better not be one of those cold motherfuckers."

She smiles, playfully, "And if I am?"

I answer a smile, with a wolffish one, "I'd do my damnedest to fuck... your shit... up. In every way possible, I would make your life hell. You wouldn't be able to take a walk without stepping in shit, read the papers without being reemed by the news, talk without being insulted, eat without the meal having been spat in, or drink anything but piss. I'd defame your name so thuroughly that every single being would scowl at the sight of you, and the history books would name you as the Deciever. But that isn't the case, now is it?"

"That's quite thought out now, isn't it?"

"Practice makes perfect." My grin turned almost evil.

"You've done this before?"

I laughed, "No politician would touch me, and went on there best behavior. Paid being in a popular band that people enjoyed listening to. And having a couple hundred connections in the military certainly helped."

"Wouldn't those soldiers have committed treason then? As did you?"

I chuckled evilly, "Oh, no, no no, I did my damn homework. Those fuckers I lambasted deserved every damn thing they got."

Celestia sighed, "Remind me not to cross you."

I just laughed. Laughed really hard, "I'm fucking with you! I literally made all that shit up off the top of my head."

She stared at me for a second, a smile creeping across her lips, and she laughed. She sat down, holding her sides as they split laughing.

"Uh... you ok?" I asked, thinking she might... just possibly, have lost her mind.

She snorted, yes, snorted like a pig, and answered, "It's just so ridiculous! Outwitted by a human!" She laughed a few more times, and I started laughing with her. I was imagining a human, this worlds' human, a creature who barely understood that a sharp thing could make a living thing bleed, outsmarting the ruler of the land. Like a monkey outsmarting Steven Hawking in physics.

She finally gets a hold of herself, tears in her eyes, "Thank you for laughing with me. I was afraid I might've incurred the wrath of Achilles!"

We laughed again, though I was a little less enthusiastic. In fact, I didn't laugh at all to be honest. "The wrath of Achilles!" Was a popular saying that the announcers in the arena would use, and so many memories started flooding my mind. Maybe the alcohol helped with that, but nonetheless, I was now being crushed under a deluge of terror, and pain. I had become numb to the world around me, only suffering under my memories surfacing from the deep pit I'd tried putting them in. With them came memories from the war, and how every brother, my family, had been killed or maimed in horrific fashion. Wonderful, great men and women who I would've gladly died for, had died. Gone in an instant, died in my hands, or passed away in a hospital. So many were dead. So many scarred for life. Lives... ruined and ended too early.

It was only when I felt myself being hugged did I snap back to reality. My cheeks were wet, and for a second, the question remained, "Where did the water come from?"

The hug tightened, I realized who was hugging me, and I knew, I had been crying. Celestia and I were on the ground in a hug, one I was reciprocating. Gently, I pushed away.

"Thanks." I muttered, whiping away some snot that was hanging from my nose.

Celestia looked at me with a deep sorrow, and I knew that she had a very clear idea of what had just happened, "How often does this happen?"

"Nightmares most nights. Sometimes I get attacks like that, but usually I can control them better."

Again, with a deep, resounding remorse in her voice, "I'm sorry you're so hurt, Scott. I should've been more selective in my wording."

I chuckled weakly, "Ain't nothing to be sorry for. It was in the past. I'm at fault really. I should just man up and bury these emotions better than before, and stop being so sensitive. I guess I didn't take that emotional training well enough."

With steel in her voice, she firmly, flatly, said, "No."

"What?"

"I said no. You shouldn't bury or run from what you feel. It'll only come back harder and harder each time they come back. Instead, you should reconcile with yourself. I've seen many soldiers come home with such war fatigue, and the best way to deal with it, is to let other ponies, people, know how you feel. People who are close to you."

"You're wrong, about a few things." I said with a hollowness to my voice.

"I've been alive for millennia, I believe I know what I'm talking about." She said rather indignant.

"I don't just have war fatigue. I've got PTSD. Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder. Trauma constantly replaying in my mind as real as it happened. And just talking about my feelings fix the problem. It might help, but it won't solve it. Honestly, I'd rather live with it."

"You'd rather live with all that pain, tormented day by day and at random, than to do everything in your power to fix it?" She sounded almost accusatory, but it was honestly just confusement.

"Yeah. I don't know if it's just the culture difference, or something deeper than that, but I don't want to forget the family I had in the military. The ones that never made it back, and those who came back missing parts of themselves. It's a dishonor to forget those who made the ultimate sacrifice, and ok to miss them. I just gotta, let go somehow. Of all the hell I feel."

"Schooled again, by a human." Celestia says.

I shook my head, "No, just offering a different viewpoint with different morals and values."

A new set of hooves started me, and I looked to the source. Next to the bedside. Skinny, barely walking, and tears in her eyes, was Raindrop. She was standing.

"Don't worry. I'm not going anywheres, partner."

I couldn't help but smile, and tear up again. A small part of me, a part I hadn't wanted to admit existed, had been fearing that she'd die, or never wake up. The first pony I'd ever had as a friend, family even, I feared would be lost like so many others. After three years of Hellish agony, and finally finding her, I doubted myself in how I'd stay sane.

I rushed over, and we embraced, crying tears of joy and happiness, as Celestia rushed to get the family again. Needless to say, it was a good family affair.