YHaY: The Human of the Guard

Today was the big day. All our units were in position, the pegasi were all loaded up with their magic bombs and their wing blades, earth ponies and humans armored up and bearing weapons, and the unicorns with their magic.

Raindrop was with the other pegasi, even though she was my handler. I was positioned with the rest of the humans, who grunted and snarled in anticipation for the fight. None of them had shields, but had a conglomeration of weapons. Gauntlet blades, spears, swords, and anything else that was sharp or pointy. They shared one thing together, and that was their armor. Same as mine. Greek breastplates, gauntlets, shin guards attached to sandles, and a helmet. I was the only one with a shield, a good one at that.

Oddly enough, I didn't have any nightmares the night previous, and had a peaceful, dreamless sleep. All I had to do to prepare was to eat a hearty meal to make sure I didn't slow up and get tired quick. That was one of the downsides of my prosthetics. Unlike the earlier versions in the 2010's that ran on batteries, mine made electricity through a process of using the energy I produced from what I ate. I didn't fully understand it, but I did know that the harder I worked, the quicker I'd get tired. Once I'd passed out because of the drain. Almost cracked my skull open on that fall.

All I could do now as I waited for the order to charge, was think of my strategy. I couldn't do the same thing I'd do in free for all's in the arena, and wait for all my opponents to off each other and go for the survivor. There were lives at stake now. Sentient ones, so I had to participate. Best option was to go with the flow, and not get too aggressive and wear myself out before the battle ended.

With my strategy complete, I cracked my back and neck, missing my flesh and bone fingers, because I loved cracking them too. A pair of wings flapping grabbed my attention, and I found Raindrop hovering above me.

"Stay safe, ok?"

"Don't worry about me. I'm used to this stuff. Just concentrate on your safety." I said back. There weren't any ponies close enough to identify me as the speaker, so I spoke normally.

We gave each other a quick hug, and she went back to her position, though my eyes lingered. For some reason, I had a bad feeling, and it had something to do with her. Time seemed to have flown by when we finally heard, "CHARGE!!!!"

We roared our battle cry, sprinting forwards across the plain towards the minotaurs that were charging back at us. If movies got one thing right, it was the deadly silence that seemed to deaden our ears as we charged. Was it our pent up emotions? Blind fear? Acceptance? Doesn't really matter, it happened, and I felt numb, like always. A warrior does not think or feel while he fights as a normal person would. Just what was going on in the moment to keep himself alive. How to kill the man in front of you.

I flexed a muscle in my legs, and spikes erupted from the top of my shins, pointing upwards. Even after the war, I was paranoid as fuck, and paid for extra modifications for these bad boys once I had the money. I certainly appreciated them in the arena, along with the others.

My target selected, I leapt up at the last moment before the two armies collided, and rammed my shin blades straight into the skull of a minotaur. He grunted in pain, and together we fell to the ground, smashing his skull. From then on, it was chaos. Nothing but slicing, blocking, stabbing, punching, bashing, pushing, yelling, losing myself in the battle. Something that was becoming way too familiar. But as all battles go, I slipped up a few times. A battle axe bounced past my raised shield and made deep rent into my shoulder guard, a sword surprised me and slashed downwards to scratch my helmet over my eye like an over used cliche, and a warhammer landed a powerful blow that caught my chestplate and tore it off.

Rarely did I kill each new enemy I came across. A pegasus could swoop in with their wings blades, another grounder could stab or slice them, a spell might hit them and set them on fire, or I could just lose track of each target in the mass of bodies. Even though it felt like the battle was taking forever, it had only been an hour by the time our right flanks had begun to overrun and encircle the enemy flanks, beginning a route.

It hadn't taken effect where I was fighting. I was tired, close to swaying on my feet. So much effort had been spent trying to kill my opponents quickly, that my mistakes were becoming easier to exploited. A battle axe struck my shield, and I lacked the strength to keep it in place. So it recoiled away from the point of impact, carrying me with it. A claymore swung sideways at me, and I barely had time to back up a step as the sword tasted blood, ripping a long gash down and across my stomach. If I'd been any closer, that would have cleaved me in half.

I growled in pain, trying to reset my stance, only to realize that the enemy was retreating. I let out a breath, sheathed my sword, and put a cold hand against the warm, sticky blood that was oozing down my torso. But I wasn't worried. The blood was coming out slowly, and got slower as I calmed down. I looked to the skies, looking for Raindrop. The way I figured it, she would still be in the skies, but I didn't see her. Immediately I started getting anxious, not seeing her. Worrying that she might be hurt, or worse. There's always a worse.

I started looking through the battlefield, just in case the worse case scenario had occurred. There were very few green ponies like Raindrop, so my search was quickened. A part of me was glad I found her, another part wished I didn't find her. Cause when I found her, she was on the ground, covered in wounds, blood trickling down her face, helmet nowhere to be seen. A quick listen at her heart revealed she was still alive and breathing.

My heart started racing as I scavenged some long cloth off the dead, and made makeshift bandages and tourniquets to stop the bleeding. It wasn't going to last long, but long enough for me to find help.

I made sure she would be at least stable for the next couple of minutes, and booked it to where an aid station set up. When I approached, I saw the Princess tending to some wounds. My thoughts came in fragments, Humble leader. Good. Old, good with magic, healing spells plus hurt Raindrop equals better Raindrop. Just as she finished with her patient, I grabbed her from under her barrel, hefted her up onto a shoulder, and started racing back to Raindrop. Unbelievably, none of the soldiers OR doctors seemed to take notice.

The Princess took it well, relatively speaking. She squealed like a little girl when I picked her up, and thrashed a bit once she realized I was carrying her, but settled down after a few long strides. I noticed very quickly, that she was much heavier and larger close up. Plus, seeing as how her ass was in front of my face, I also noticed that she had very noticeable purge on her ass that jiggled as I ran.

I had to mentally slap myself to keep myself together, What the fuck is wrong with me? Staring at her ass while Raindrop's hurt? Oi, even I wouldn't want to be my therapist.

Finally, I made it back to Raindrop. She was in the same condition as before, comatose and bleeding slowly through the bandages. I dropped the Princess on her hooves, and pointed at Raindrop. She looked at Raindrop, and a look of recognition flashed through her eyes.

"I'm sorry your owner is dead, my poor human. But there is little I can do when they are dead." She said.

I sucked in a breath, terrified that was the case. I rushed to her side, fear taking control of me, as I checked her breathing and heartbeat.

*Thump*Thump*Thump*

I let out a chuckle, then thought, Fuck it, probably blew my cover. If I haven't, she's probably already onto me. "You really had me going. Now," I turned to her, "HELP HER ASSHOLE!" I yelled.

She just started. Nothing but stared. I groaned, rolling my eyes and head. I stomped over to her, grabbed her horn and dragged her over to Raindrop, even as she yelped.

"You have magic, you know healing spells, right?" I ask, my ire slowly rising.

"Uh... yes. What-"

"FUCKING HELP HER!!!" I screamed.

Her horn lit up, as well as several of Raindrop's wounds. After a minute dragged by, the glowing stopped. I looked between the two, and quickly removed the bandages and the turniquites, revealing only that the fur just over the scar missing. But she wasn't waking up.

"Why isn't she waking up?" I asked, genuinely scared for the first time in quite a while. No, not startled. Scared. Scared that my only friend in this world might be dead, or a vegetable.

"She has a very bad concussion. She could be comatose for days, weeks, months, even years. There's no telling."

"Well fuck. I was hoping against that. How's life support here?" I prayed to God, if He existed here, that Raindrop would be ok.

"She'll be well taken care of. Now, let's talk about you."

"Eheheheheh! Raindrop first. You scan ask whatever the hell you want, but her needs come first."

She smiled warmly at me as I picked Raindrop up, cradling her limp form in my arms. I took great care to not jostle her as we made our trek back to camp.

***Days Later***

I was in Raindrop's personal hospital room. She was still comatose, but she was hooked up to the life support machines, so she was fine as far as the near future. I wanted to be there for her when she woke up, so I'd been staying here since she was moved here. Celestia had been that kind to me. She was here with me now, for the questioning.

"So, what exactly are you? A channeling, perhaps?" She asked. Not hostility, mind you. Just curious.

"Well, I don't know what a changeling is, but I'm not that."

"Then what are you?"

"I'm human, just... not one of those sorry excuses for ones you're used too. See, I'm not from around here. Not by a long shot."

"Oh? Are you from across the sea then?"

I laughed, "Yeah, metaphorically I guess. The biggest 'sea' there is."

Her eyes widened as realization dawned, "You mean-"

"Yep, ALIENS BITCH!" I used the voice you hear from memes. Distorted slightly by the phone, and yelled loudly. I laughed thinking about it, and Celestia's reaction.

"Sorry! Sorry, just a joke from back home. Before you even ask, no. I am not here to conquer anything. In fact, I don't know how I got here at all."

"Sweet merciful Faust. An intelligent being went through the pits." She put a hoof to her forehead with horror.

"For three years. Three years and change of being thought of as nothing more than an animal, when back home I'd be seen as equal to anyone else. What a shock that was." I started staring off into the distance, remembering how it felt back then. I shivered.

"I'm so sorry my ponies put you through that. I can't believe they'd put you through all that knowing you were intelligent." She said solemnly. I could tell that she really felt bad about it.

"Well, most of them didn't know. For a while, my voice was fucked up. Got damaged somehow and took forever for it to repair itself. Only my last owner and some of his goons knew."

"What do you mean 'repair itself'? Don't you mean heal?"

"Nope! Fake vocal chords. Biomechanics that self repair when their damaged. Pretty damn useful, especially when it allows me to change my voice to however I want to sound."

"Biomechanics? What's that?"

"Eh, how do I explain this simply? Well, you know what a cell is right?" She nodded, "Well, biomechanics are a bunch of mechanical cells that form up or are arranged to form tissues that do specific jobs, like vibrate to form sound."

"Fascinating. What of your limbs?"

"Much simpler machines. Made of metal and wires and shit like that."

"And you can control all of these all the time? That is some impressive magic."

I laughed, long and hard until I started started crying. "Damn, I still can't get over the fact that magic actually exists here. No, I don't use magic to control 'em all. Bunch of wires, sensors, and tough as nails micro computers that monitor the electrical brain imitations going to the limbs, throat and just about every other machine that my life doesn't immediately rely on that's in me."

"There's more? What inspired you to get these, eh, modifications?" She asked, fully engrossed with this new information.

"War. War caused this affront to life."

"You... you were wounded."

"Ai, badly. Still hard to believe I lived through it. I was a soldier back home. A pretty good one. God and luck was on my side for most of the war, until the last operation. Got fucked over by a mine."

"I'm sorry, it sounds like you've had a bad run of things." She paused for a moment, "So, if you don't mind me asking, what is war like on your planet?"

"Damn, I've got to show it to someone else." I mumbled. I sighed, "C'mere. Learned a trick to help out with this kinda stuff."

She shuffled closer, but not as close as I meant. I groaned, closed the distance, and pressed my head against hers. Before her surprise could surface, I opened my mind to her. It was a brief moment, but I showed her several different scenarios I had found myself. Then, I let her go, and sat back down in my too short seat.

Her eyes were wide, pupils shrunk in horror and devastation, "That wasn't war. That was a slaughter." she said in a whisper. She looked at me with such sadness, that I felt my heart twist a little.

"I know. War is Hell, and rarely involves skill. More on being lucky, not being stupid, and unit to unit tactics."

"So, you're limbs were violently torn off?" I grunted in affirmation.

"Was it at least cheap?"

"Nope, woulda cost me an arm and a leg if they weren't apart already. Billionaire took pity on me."

We were quiet for a while, Celestia was probably trying to figure out what to say next, while I just didn't really care and started letting my mind fade out.

"So what now?" She asked suddenly.

I shrugged, "Stick with her for the foreseeable future. She's my only friend here, and a reliable lifeline. Can't make money, not seen as an equal here so I can't apply for citizenship. Matter of fact, I can do fuckall on my own. Not even allowed to use a fucking toilet in public. She's all I got."

"Would you like to go home? I've got a spell that could do that." Interesting, but no. I ain't leaving Raindrop. Besides, it would be a real pain in the ass to fix the death assignment the government would've already assigned to me.

"Nah, it'd be a birch to fix all the paperwork back home. I've probably been declared dead in the time since I've been gone. Besides, a bond between soldiers is sacred. I'm staying with her until one of us dies. If I die first, whatever. She does first, I'm visiting her grave every day. Honestly, I hope I kick the bucket first. More people will miss her than me. I just wish I could be seen as an equal."

"Hmm, I'll see what I can do about that." She said.

Whatever it was that she meant unnerved me slightly, "What do you mean by that?"

She gave me a smile, "Giving you full fledged citizenship, pay, back pay, rights as an Equestrian, and protection as an Equestrian."

"Be ready for scientists swarming you and me trying to get their hands-shit... hooves on me. Something new like me, they'll be hungry for a big discovery. I want no part of that."

She tilted her head ever so slightly, "We shall see. How are your new wounds doing?"

"Scabbed over. They'll be there for a while, but I'll be fine. Again, worried more about her."

"Well Achilles, or Scott, it was nice meeting you, but I must take my leave." She got up and left as I slapped myself. I forgot that she heard my name in my memories.

***The next day***

The family came in staring at both Raindrop and me. Didn't look at me long though, and rushed over to their unconscious family member. They talked to her for a long while, telling her things that was happening in life, telling her how much they loved her. I bet my parents had done the same with me, but she was deader to the world than I was.

Eventually, they had to head home, promising that they'd come back the next day. They tried to get me to come with them, even attaching a lease and trying to pull me along. None of it worked. I was staying here. Eventually, they gave up, and talked to the staff. They told them that I'd been behaving myself, and I was allowed to stay with Raindrop, so they didn't have a problem with me. Reluctantly, they left me here.

Celestia came by an hour later, happily showing me some special papers. She started rambling on about how special the papers were and shit. But I didn't understand any of it.

"Oi, remember when I showed you my memories?"

"We, yes? What does that have anything to do-"

I raised my voice to get her to stop, "I was a grunt. A ground pounding simpleton. I didn't understand a single damn thing you said regarding those papers. Give me the short version."

She gave me the stink eye, "Fine. Basically, these make you an official Equestrian citizen. I just need to have you sign your name, take your picture, and I'll give you a special necklace tag that'll identify you as intelligent."

"And what stops ponies from refusing service to me, or try to capture me for whatever?" I wasn't trying to be a smartass or anything, I really wanted to know.

"Well, there's the Anti-Speciesism Laws that make it illegal to refuse service to intelligent species based on race, and you retain the right to self defense, so you can fight back, and still be protected by the law. You'll be well taken care of."

"Riiight. Sure I will. Ok, where do I sign."

******

Done. Finally fucking done signing shit. I could swear that my hand was sore, even though it wasn't supposed to happen with metal arms.

"There! We done now!??!" I asked exasperated.

"Yep!" She said cheerfully.

"Thank you God!"

"Now we take your picture!"

"FUCK!!!!"