My statement stood still in the air. My desire to move to Ponyville was stated and I couldn't take it back, I sat back in my chair as the girls contemplated what I had just said. I had been thinking about moving for a while but there were some things I'd need to show them first. I have a theory about this planet, I just need it to be confirmed. So far from what I've collected it holds some ground. I looked at the girls, seeing their reactions told me all I needed to know.

"You want to move to Ponyville?" Twilight asked. "Well as resident princess I am more than willing to help you with your transition into a home here in Ponyville."

"No, no, no, you misunderstand what I'm saying. I want to move MY HOUSE, into Ponyville." I clarified. "If you think I'm just going to leave the cabin I worked on for upwards of a year just out in the forest then you're dead wrong missy."

"You do realize that it would take the magic power of a...oh you clever bastard." Twilight said as she realized what I meant. "I'm not doing it."

"PLEASE?" I said with a shit eating grin on my face.

"No, I will not." Twilight said.

"Um, would y'all mind explaining what's going on here? I think that we're missin' some context." Applejack ask.

"This crazy little person wants me to teleport his house from the Everfree Forest into Ponyville!" Twilight pointed at me.

"After heat week of course," I said, "During that time, no mare has the fortitude to even think about stepping into the Everfree forest. I think it's because of the pheromones they give off during that time, makes predators aware of their weakened state. That's my theory at least, I would never try and test it. Even then I might just bang Zecora."

"Wait, you've had sex with Zecora?" Rainbow crossed her arms. "When were you going to tell us?"

"Oh yeah that's another thing, if I'm going to be doing this 'herd' thing. I want Zecora to join, no questions." I stated.

"Well that's up to Twilight." Fluttershy pushed her index fingers together.

Twilight looked down at me. "You're a strange little man, first you want me to literally move your house and then you want me to add another member to our herd."

"It's either that, or I leave. I could quite possibly never return only for you girls to find me hanging from the rafters with my neck in a noose." I said, potentially mortifying my perspective partners but, in order for things to go your way you have to be bold.

"Alright, we'll let her in the herd." Twilight relented. "Please, don't say anything like that again, you almost made Fluttershy cry."

I looked to the pale yellow and pink mare who was on the verge of tears, I sighed and said. "I'm sorry I threatened suicide to get what I wanted Fluttershy."

"Apology accepted, but you owe me cuddles." Fluttershy, the soft negotiator.

"Alright." I agreed to the cuddles, because let's face it. Who wouldn't want to cuddle Fluttershy? There I go again, thinking that someone other than me would read this. Why do I keep writing like that? You know what, I'll just stop questioning it. If my mind is making up an audience for this journal then I don't care anymore, let the good times roll, god knows I need it. I agreed to the cuddles but then hopped up and cracked my neck. The sound of me doing that made the girls, with the exception of Rainbow and AJ cringe. "Well now that that's all settled, I need to go home. I want you girls to come with me too."

"Why?" Rarity asked.

"I need to show you something, because I have a theory that the government has been lying to you."

"Why would the princesses lie to us?" Pinkie asked.

"Why would Celestia hedge all of her bets on a ragtag group of ponies who barely knew each other and hope that it would get her sister back while she did nothing but disappear?" I asked them. "Why would she put the 6 of you against Discord, who she knew could very well end the world? She has been risking your lives and you have done nothing but follow her blindly."

They were all silent for a moment, I had to make them think about it. "But, surely she knew that we would succeed. Right?" Twilight asked.

"If she knew that, then she would also have known the reason why I'm here. I'm trying to get you to think for yourselves, because a little doubt goes a long way. The next time she asks you to do something tell her to do it herself." I said as I started to walk out the castle. I walked straight out of the castle and past Fluttershy's house with the mane six in tow. They were all wondering what I was doing as I walked right into the Everfree forest and straight up to my house.

"I don't get it, what's so important that you had to show us? We've all been to your house." Rainbow asked.

"It's around back." I said as I walked to what could be called a backyard, to be quite frank it's barely passable as one. I pointed to a tarp covering something. "It's this."

"That's a tarp." Rainbow pointed it out.

"Thank you captain obvious." I said as I grabbed the tarp and pulled it off. "I was talking about what was underneath the tarp."

To the girls is looked like a big hunk of metal but to Twilight and I it was so much more. It was a 1970's Dodge Charger, let me ask you something. What the fuck is a car from my world doing in Equestria? It looked old enough to have been here for quite a while.

"But that's, that's a CAR!" Twilight shouted.

"I know, I found it in the forest. I had to cut down a lot of trees to get it here and it's still got some critters living inside of it." I banged on the hood and a squirrel dropped out of the undercarriage and scurried off. "Either Celestia knows more than what's going on, or there's a good fucking reason that there's a classic car in the middle of a magic fucking forest. Doesn't matter either way, something is off."

"So you're saying that Celestia knows more than she's letting on?" Rarity asked.

"Yeah, it basically boils down to two theories I have. First one, Equestria is much older than you think. I believe it's an Earth where the human race either destroyed themselves or moved to another planet in search of a better life. The second theory I have is that there are dimensional rifts that suck in things from different planets, with Earth being a populated planet and having technological marvels, Equestria with a will of its own occasionally takes these marvels for itself in hopes that somepony will find it, and I was someone who got caught in the crossfire," I stated, "Either way, something smells fishy and it smells like it's coming from Celestia."

"Why do you instantly blame her and not say, Luna?" Twilight asked.

"Luna had a 1,000-year hiatus on the moon when she got pissy and threw the world into an extended daylight savings." I countered. "For her to mastermind all of this while stuck on a lifeless rock floating around the planet is doubtful to say the least. I'd doubt Cadence would even be aware of this as she isn't much older than you are Twilight, and I don't think you or Cadence would do something like this to an innocent person for shits and giggles."

"What about Discord?" Rainbow asked which gathered a glare from Fluttershy.

"Discord wouldn't purposely fuck with another person to risk ending his friendship with Fluttershy, it's one of the few things he holds precious in his life." I stated. "What I've seen from Celestia is that she likes to play games with her subjects, she's been around so long that she's seen people pass before her eyes and has become a little desensitized. She's a master manipulator that loves to play into her strengths, and when all else fails she pulls out her trump card."

"The elements of harmony." Twilight concluded.

"Think about it Twilight, she's tried it before with Sunset Shimmer. The exception is she got Sunset as a teen, she got you as a child. She raised you to be a princess," I pointed out as I sat on the hood of the car, "Then there's your brother, who became Captain of the Royal Guard and then married Cadence to become a prince. She gave you Spike to raise as your own personal butler, and to top it all off she gave you an unfinished spell that destroyed your friends lives all on a whim just to see if you could pull it off. Then after that you became an alicorn! IT'S NEPOTISM AT ITS FINEST!"

"ENOUGH!!!!" Twilight shouted in the royal canterlot voice which pushed me back into the windshield of the car, cracking it. Twilight then realized what she had done after I had rolled off the hood of the car. "Oh Celestia, I'm sorry Mickey!" She teleported over to me to help me up.

"That's another thing, you treat her like a goddess. She moves the sun and is the ruler of Equestria, she has almost no equal." I stated as I brushed myself off. "I'm not saying I hate her, but all the things she's done have me doubting whether or not she has Equestria's best interests at heart, or Twilight's."

"But what about you?" Pinkie asked.

"I'm a wildcard, I'm the unpredictable element that she doesn't like. So, she tried to make me into a breeder to get me out of the way. Keep me as background noise, except I refused. I don't want a destiny that's already chosen for me, I like being on an unpredictable path." I smiled. "You've got to admit, things like this would have never happened if Twilight had never been in your lives. It makes too much sense."

"You're right." Twilight said. "I want to doubt it so much, but I can see it. She didn't want you near us because you could open our eyes."

"Twilight, it does sound a little far fetched doesn't it?" Rarity asked.

"Think about it Rarity, think about to the day we first met. Celestia KNEW that Nightmare Moon was coming and she prepared for it, she took a wild gamble on her student to make friends and rediscover the elements of harmony. She knew about the elements because she wielded them alongside Luna to defeat Discord the first time. Time after time she calls upon us to save Equestria and we do, but when was the last time that she did anything herself?"

"There was that time where she..." Pinkie said then stopped because she couldn't think of anything.

"Fluttershy, she knew that her pet was a phoenix and told you nothing about it until after you had assumed the worst." Twilight pointed out.

"I...you're right. Why did she do that?" Fluttershy crossed her arms, "That isn't very forthcoming of a ruler at all!"

"Celestia has been planning this since the very beginning of your lives. When Rainbow Dash made the first Sonic Rainboom it affected all six of you. Six fillies earning their cutie marks at the same time, that's got to be a little more than destiny if you ask me," I said, "I want answers, and I'll be damned if I have to wait another year to get them."

"I think we all deserve some answers," Twilight agreed.

"Yeah!" The other five shouted in unison. I just smiled as I knew what I had done, I took a crowbar and pried their eyes open. I had made them see that you need answers to things and you need to doubt everything you think you know, I made them think like humans.

Author's Note

I know that there is a fic out there where there's a chapter where they make Celestia save equestria by herself, the ponies are stuck in super comfy chairs of their own creation and Starswirl the Bearded was a crazy villain who was reformed, I remember it specifically because he was related to Trixie. Please help me find it. Also don't expect an update until around Monday, I did a double update today because A. I was on a roll, and B. I'm going to be working all weekend.