Doing it by Hand

"And that would be the anesthetic wearing off!" Lyra happily confirmed.

Starlight continued to scream for a while. The pain was incredible. It was like somepony hammered a bayonet directly into her skull and then had salted the wound with acid. Stars began to fill her vision as the room swam before her in all of its visceral glory. If it wasn't for the worn leather straps holding her down, she would have likely collapsed to the floor in a gibbering heap after the pain grew to bad. However, there were leather straps holding her back so she simply began to twitch after her voice gave out.

"Now, on with our interview." Lyra continued, levitating the book into Starlight's drooling face. "Would you say that this one looks more anatomically correct than this one. And if so, why?"

Both pictures looked identical to Starlight. Both were clumsy cartoons of human beings as far as she could tell; being partially blinded from pain made making an accurate judgement somewhat difficult. So in response, she just nodded gently towards the one on the right.

Lyra cheered. "Excellent! I knew I got right." With that, she skipped out of the room, leaving a splash of blood every time she did.

Sleep quickly took Starlight into a fitful nightmare. However, said nightmare was only the recurring one where she was stuck with Discord and Princess Luna in that timeline where the world was destroyed so it wasn't that bad. Yes, Starlight did dread their monthly game of three-way chess more than Derpy dreaded a muffin shortage but at least she wasn't in blinding agony in this. Just boring agony, as was to be expected.

The three of them sat uncomfortably around a large, uneven stump of rock with a chessboard precariously balanced on top of it. Starlight briefly contemplated surrendering but then she would wake up so that idea was right out.

"So how was everyone's week?" The dream-version of Discord asked after eating Luna's queen.

"It was pleasant enough, Discord. My attempts to cook breakfast have been mostly successful. I also invested in some incense so that the palace's flowers need less constant replacement." Answered Luna. The alicorn then levitated a pair of pawns off the board. One protested and struggled valiantly against the spell but, considering that it was about two inches tall and carved from a petit four, the struggle was in vain and it soon met its end by being dunked in Luna's cup of coffee.

"Ah, wonderful. How about you, Starlight?" Inquired Discord.

"Bad. Let's just leave it at that." Starlight answered. She then wrote down her move (A Smy - Syr) and added it to the collection.

"Oh, why is that, my little pony? That spells "inferiority" for twenty-two points, by the way." Luna said as she placed a few tiles on the board.

"Well, it's just that I haven't really had a break, you know? Either I've been working or I've been helping Trixie with her show. Now, don't get me wrong, I like doing both but sometimes it can be a bit..."

"Tiring?" The other players asked simultaneously.

"Exactly. Tiring. And then Lyra Heartstrings kidnapped me and I think she wants to turn me into a human with a combination of surgery and magic."

"You seem awfully nonchalant about that, Starlight." Stated the draconequus after he had finished dealing out flaming playing cards to everyone.

"Is that so, Starlight?" Luna asked with a heavy tone of skepticism.

"Probably? It's a little hard to remember stuff in dreams."

"Where are you then, Starlight?"

"Uhh. I could smell rosewater so I guess-"

"I'm back, baby!" Yelled Lyra, causing Starlight to snap out of her slumber. Or maybe that was the hearty slap to her muzzle with a severed leg that did it. Either was, Starlight was awake and not overly happy about it.

The room was exactly the same as it was before Starlight fell unconscious - filthy and covered with enough blood to make a vampire sick. That wasn't because vampires had a particular fondness for blood - Applejack was very insistent that "those damned bugs ate my prized apples" - it was rather that the creatures were simply supernatural strong and therefor had stronger constitutions than other ponies. However, Starlight was not a vampire - she was a pony and a fairly drugged up one at that - so what remained of her lunch kindly deposited itself on the floor.

"Eww, Starlight! Seriously, that's just gross." Lyra complained. Starlight's captor shut the door behind her as she walked in, tossing a large burlap sack to one side. Starlight, still barely coherent by this point, thought she that the sack give out a muffled scream. If it did, Lyra payed no notice to it and went back to fiddling with her scalpel.

"Now, Starlight. Starlight. Equestria to Glimmer. Come in Glimmer." Lyra said, waving her knife in front of Starlight's bloodless face.

"Huh?"

"Good. You're not dead. I think that we might have just a little problem here. That being, you aren't exactly fit to answer questions right now."

Starlight nodded. That proved to be a mistake and Pain soon returned to her skull. This time, Anguish came too; the pair were on a honeymoon and, in typical emotive fashion, they planned to trash their hotel room. Starlight winced as the duo began their rampage through her head. Chairs were broken, windows were smashed, sheets were torn and minibars were raided. By the time both of them grew tired, tears were trickling down Starlight's face - thanks in part to Dull Throb, who could never resist a party.

"Well, I have just the thing for that. Open wide!" Yelled Lyra as she jammed something into Starlight's mouth.

That something turned out to be a cupcake and an enchanted one at that. Within seconds, the former villain was perfectly awake, pain and anguish were evicted and Pinkie Pie felt a great disturbance in the force.

"What? Where am I?" Starlight exclaimed, looking around frantically.

Sighing, Lyra replied, "You're in my secret laboratory. We've been over this. Now, hold still, will you? That cutie mark of yours isn't going to remove itself."

Starlight did not hold still. She wriggled and struggled and kicked and bit and none of it made any difference. Wrapped in a golden glow, the rusty blade slid ever closer to Starlight's skin. It did so lazily, like an alligator drifting towards its prey. And then, like an alligator, it bit her.

The pain was immense as the wicked edge slashed passed her fur and buried itself in her flank. She screamed repeatedly. It felt as if her whole right side was on fire. Pain and Anguish returned for the afterparty of the century. Skin was broken, blood was spilled, pleas were made and screams grew louder.

"Wow. It's like I'm torturing you or something you're screaming so loud. Really, it's not that big of a deal. Didn't you used to do this all the time?" Lyra said as her knife carved its way through Starlight's leg.

Starlight briefly considered correcting Lyra. Then again, Lyra wasn't exactly wrong either. It hurt twofold; the metal's brutality was bad enough but the emotional tramau was far, far worse. As Lyra worked - she had a habit of attempting to hum along to Starlight's screams, whimpers and moans - she felt an intergral part of her being slip away. It was as if everything that made her "Starlight Glimmer" was slowly being sliced away. Memory, dreams, aspirations, goals, personality; they all fell away - just wet pieces of flesh dropping onto the already-filthy floor.

When Lyra was done, there wasn't much left to Starlight. Well, the pony was almost entirely intact - save for two roughly-circular gashes on her flanks - but her eyes had a dull glaze to them and her coat lost its shine. Her mane lost its curl and flopped lazily on each side of the jagged stump of her horn. Her screaming had long since subsided; it was replaced now with shallow breaths and exhausted panting. Tears flowed down her face as Lyra finished her song.

"And that's that. Now you're one step closer to becoming a human. Isn't that just great? I mean, you're not confined by any one special talent anymore. The world's your oyster. Never mind that ponies are deathly allergic to shellfish but then again, you won't be a pony for much longer." Lyra exclaimed, tossing the now-bloody scalpel to one side. It landed with a clatter on a tray of similar implements. The formerly lime green unicorn - she was now almost completely covered in blood - skipped happily over to her bag.

"Why?" Starlight mumbled, "Why are... are you d-d-doing this?"

Lyra stopped trying to extricate the bag's contents. The bag - now being dangled upside down over a reasonably clean patch of floor - crumpled to the ground with a splash and a yelp. The unicorn turned back around to face Starlight's chair. Then she said, with a light chuckle, "Shits and giggles mostly."