Madness Combat, Warped Reality
Part 8

Somewhere In Ponyville
Hank

Hank looked down at the unconscious body of 'Mooney' With shock and anger.

"JESUS YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Hank yelled as he unsheathed his sword, spun around and sliced the head of the zombie pony's head in half and made a mad dash towards the attacker of his 'friend'

"Hank you Idjit!" Jesus yelled as the distance between them was closing and summoning his Binary Sword. "There is a ZOMBIE OUTBREAK! there are more important prioriti-"

"NO!" Hank cut Jesus off. " You think I'm going to listen to you!?" Hank yelled as their swords clashed. "You've killed me three times, Mortally wounded me once and knocked out the closest thing to a friend I have on this goddamn planet, WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I LISTEN TO YOU!?" Hank snarled as he pulled out his gun, only for it become enveloped in a golden glow and pulled from his grasp.

"STOP THIS!" Yelled a mint green unicorn that was standing behind Jesus. "Listen to Jesus! he is trying to fix all these things, ponies are dying and being turned into zombi-GHK!" Lyra tried to finish but was grabbed by the throat by Hank.

"AND WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?" Hank yelled, grabbing his gun and throwing the unicorn hard against the wall of a nearby house with little effort.

"Hank! for fucks sake, CALM. DOWN." Jesus ordered. "You're only making this situation worse!" He said as he headbutted Hank, causing him stumble backwards, creating an opening for Jesus. He tackled Hank to the ground and punched the gun out of his hand. "Stop. Fighting. Now!" Jesus said firmly. "Look around! this world is in a state of madness because of your arrival!" He said, his red eyes glowing redder briefly.

Hank thrashed around, but to no avail, soon he calmed down, along with his bloodlust and looked around, seeing the walls and ground scattered with dried blood and dead bodies with various dismembered limbs, this was no shocker to Hank, but just then hit him. "Holy shit... These bloody horses aren't from Nevada, I bet most of them haven't even seen more than one dead body in one year..." Hank said, realization hitting him like a punch That he threw. "Oh damn..." Hank said, the slightest amount of emotion creeping into his voice.

"Now you understand why you have to help me stop this" Jesus said, Helping Hank up. "Now if I understand correctly, You, Sanford, Deimos, Tric-No wait, I just killed him. You, Sanford, Deimos and The Auditor and I. Are all here. And I have no Idea where those guys are... But that's not the most important thing we have to deal with at this moment." Jesus finished.

"Ow" Lyra groaned as she stood herself up and rubbed the back of her head. "What the hay was that for!?" She yelled.

"Well... I guess we better get going" Hank said quickly as he walked up to the Luna's body and picked her up with some effort. "Omph!... She's a big girl hehehe..." Hank joked as he started following Jesus, carrying Luna with some strain.

"This isn't over" Lyra growled as she increased her walking speed to get next to Hank.

"Well I'm just shitting myself in fear right now" Hank said sarcastically. Looking forwards, he saw a tree shaped.. No that WAS a tree, a tree house. "The hell? That must be so safe in storms" Hank said cynically.

"That's Twilight Sparkles house!" Lyra exclaimed as she rushed towards it. "She can help us!" She said optimistically.

"Ugh!" Hank groaned. "Old Moony is bloody heavy you know!" He complained. upon reaching the door to 'Twilight's House'
They heard a scream. Hank put Luna down on the ground carefully and took a peek inside. His 'eyes' widened and he took in a sharp intake of air.

"Goddamn!"

Elsewhere
Sanford & Deimos

Two strange creatures were walking through a swamp, reading a device that had a blinking light on a screen which was labeled:
Hank - Status: Alive
Location: 5 Kilometers southwest
They were weaving in between the thick foliage and jumping across murky swamp water. They were having the time of their lives.

*SMACK*
"OW!" What the fuck Sanford?!" Deimos cried as he was smacked upside his face by his partner, Sanford, who quickly stomped out his ciggy. "I was smoking that!" He complained.

"You're a Dickhead!" Sanford yelled. "If you smoke a cigarette in a swamp, where there's flammable gasses take a guess what happens!"

"I dunno, It explodes?" Deimos answered dumbly.

"Holy shit! ladies and gentlemen! WE HAVE A GENIUS!" Sanford yelled, his words dripping with sarcasm. "Just shut up and lets hurry to Hank. Maybe he can tell us where the fuck we are!" He added, irritated that he was in this huge swamp.

"Jeez Sanford, settle down It's not that ba-*Ribbit*-AAAHH FUCK!!" Deimos screamed as a frog fell onto his face from a tree above. "HOLY SHIT GET IT OFF!!" He squealed, smacking himself in the face trying to get it off as it crawled around. (Deimos was afraid of frogs).

"You're a wimp. It's a frog..." Sanford said not caring, until Deimos raised his Walther PPK towards his face. He rushed over and punched him in the gut, causing him to buckle forward and hold his gut. Sanford simply reached out with his hand and grabbed the frog and threw it behind him without looking. "If you're quite done, I think it's about high time we make our way to Hank before night time" He said, turning around, only to bump into something big and soft. "Umpf. What the fuuu.....?" Sanford said, looking up into four hungry looking faces of a giant lizard thing. "BWOOH SHIT!" Sanford yelled. jumping backwards and grabbing his trusty hook seconds before a head launched its head into the ground right where he was one second ago.

"What the fuuuUUUUCK!?!?" Deimos yelled as he looked up, holding his gut and seeing the towering monstrosity. "KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT!" He screamed as he fired wildly at it, producing tiny bloody holes on the thing.

"You don't have to tell me twice!" Sanford yelled as he started swinging his hook around, Gaining momentum, until he threw it forwards and lodging itself in the things throat. He pulled down hard on the rope his hook was tied to, making the hook tear its way down and out of its throat, leaving behind a large open gash with blood rushing out.

"SKREAAAH!" The beasts four heads cried, the one that had its throat slashed open even louder. It suddenly started emerging out of the swamp revealing a large body with short stumpy legs. One head in the back that had a more 'dumb' look on its face than the other ones roared with rage, it shot all of its heads towards the duo, both of them dodging to the side as their the 'dumb' ones head got stuck in the ground, seeing this opportunity Sanford jumped onto the head and sunk his hook into its skull as a handhold as the head swung upwards in pain, while the other hand reached into his utility belt and pulled out a Colt revolver and fired all the rounds into the creatures brain. Slowly, the head that Sanford was on started falling towards the ground (which was pretty high up).

Just before the head hit the ground, Sanford jumped and grabbed a branch of a nearby tree. He hung there and watched as the beast started mourning itself before it started running away deep into the swamp with the other head was dragged across the ground. Not feeling any regret for the thing that just tried to kill them he promptly flipped it off as it ran, before climbing down to the bottom of the tree.

"Well..." Deimos started. "That was... different..." He finished, not knowing quite what to say.

"Um..." Sanford said. "Lets just ignore that and find hank before anything else tries to eat us..." He said, pulling out the tracker and walking in the direction that it indicated Hank was in.

Meanwhile
The Crystal Empire
Shining Armour

"Ahhhhh" Shining Armour sighed as he gazed upon the beautiful Crystal empire from a balcony on the crystal castle. "Isn't it wonderful, honey?" He asked his wife, Princess Cadence, as he watched the Crystal Ponies enjoying their day.

"Yes, yes it is Shining" She said with a smile as she nuzzled him. "I'm so glad that there is harmony in this empire, now that Sombra is gone" She shuddered, remembering the evil king of the Crystal Ponies.

"Don't even remind me of that monster" He growled. "He almost took back the empire" He winced at the thought of that.

"Well we're just lucky that you thought to throw me to the crystal heart before he could reach it" She smiled.

"Yeah, we ar-wait what's that?" He said as he saw a black figure teleporting across the the Badlands outside of the empire. "It seems we have an unwelcome guest" He said grimly as he went to call his guards. While Cadence walked to the edge of the balcony to get a better look.

Border of the Crystal Empire
The Auditor

"Bloody hell it's cold" The Auditor groaned as he teleported closer to the large castle in a plume of black fire. "Friggin Icy wasteland" He said as he teleported closer again, closing in on the border of the city, but suddenly there was a bright flash. "Argh, bloody hell" He groaned as he rubbed his bright red eyes, opening them he found himself surrounded by various different coloured horses. "What the hell? horses?" He asked confusedly as he spun around, looking at all of them seeing that they were armed, he laughed. "Horses with swords and armour, Heh that's cute. Neigh neigh don't hurt me, neigh neigh" He mocked.

"Shut your mouth you monster!" One of them said as they moved in on him, raising their weapons. "You are coming with us!" It ordered.

"Pfft, And how do you plan on doing that? with flimsy pieces of metal that you call swords?? please, don't make me laugh!" He gloated as he raised his right hand and swung it down, creating a burst of black flame, once the flames cleared he had in his hand a large knife. "Try me" He challenged.

"Charge" The one that he suspected to be the leader yelled. At once, all the horses charged towards The Auditor, Rolling his eyes, evaporated into flames and fell into the ground, creating a scorch mark. "Where did he go!?" They yelled.

"Over here!" The Auditor yelled, catching their attention, he threw his knife hard towards the group, the knife found its way into the eye of one of them, he cried out in pain as he felt the knife piercing his brain before collapsing to the ground in a puddle of blood. While the guards were distracted with the death of their comrade The Auditor teleported up to the group and snapped the neck of the closest guard. He then swung the body of the guard around, collapsing the skull of another guard with the weaponised guards hooves. He teleported again up into the air and dropped onto the back of a guard who started to run away with a sickening snap, he grabbed the sword from the guard and spun around to meet the leader of the small group. "Congratulations" The Auditor said. "Your little squad will be the first to be assimilated" He announced as he started to glow red, the dead bodies of the guards floating towards and into him with a puff of flame each guard causing him to grow in size slightly.

"W-WHAT ARE YOU!?" The now cowering leader yelled, backing away as fast as he could, but to no avail. The Auditor was still pulling the guard towards him.

"I am The Auditor, Nice to have made your acquaintance" He said before the guard was enveloped into him, The Auditor looked himself over, he was about twice the size he was before. "Hehehe" He laughed evilly, looking towards the crystal castle. "This will be fun..." He said in a sinister tone as he started walking towards his target.

Days like this are pretty bad

Author's Note

Surprise! I made a chapter!
Sorry I've not uploaded a chapter in ages, but I just can't be arsed to write a new bit right after.
But don't worry, they will eventually come out :D