Prologue
“♫Go tell that long tongue liar, go and tell that midnight rider. Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back biter. Tell ‘em that God’s gonna cut ‘em down…♫” The music in the APC was interrupted by the squad radio.
“Misfit One-Three, this is Misfit Actual. Be advised we are crossing the LOD in two mikes, over.”
“Copy that.” Campo responded.
“Yo, does anyone else not get what the fuck we’re doin here?”
“Quit bein a fuckin hippie Montes!” Chaffin responded, while lightly punching Montes on the arm.
“I’m just sayin, bro. If this is about the PLR we should be in Iran – not Iraq.”
“They’re crossin borders, dawg! PLR is the right people, all right? They don’t make ‘em any righter.” The argument between them was cut short by Lt. Cole, the field operations commander of Misfit.
“Misfit One-Three, this is Misfit Actual. We have a situation developing here, get your team dismounted and into the staging area ASAP.” Lieutenant Cole informed the squad, with the same calm seriousness he always had.
“This is One-Three, copy. Out.”
“What the fuck are we stopping here for? Our objective’s 20 klicks north of here.” Montes asked, not wanting to go into the fight he wasn’t briefed about.
“I don’t know, Montes.” Campo responded, shutting him up. “Yeah, let’s get out on the road!” Campo yelled over to the APC driver. The APC slowed down and stopped, knocking the squad towards the front from inertia. “Ok, let’s go!” Campo ordered the squad as Montes pushed open the doors. “Move!”
“I guess we’re late to the party. Where’s the LT?” Montes asked a nearby marine on patrol.
“Hang a right up here.” The marine answered, pointing to an alleyway market area.
“Thanks!” Montes yelled back as the squad walked to the alley. “Hey, you ever wonder how this part of the world gets so fucked up all the time?” Montes asked.
“I just work here, Dave.” Blackburn answered. The squad walked into the alley, passing by a marine searching a civilian, and another civilian being escorted by 2 marines. They soon reached Lt. Cole, and gathered around a makeshift table with a map of the area.
“Gentlemen, welcome. As you know we’re dealing with the PLR insurgents crossing over from Iran. A lot of sectarian tension. I counsel you to remember, gentlemen. The people of this country are not your enemy – the PLR is.” Cole told the squad, nodding as he did so. “At 0930 we lost contact with Viper squad. They were investigating a possible IED near Spinza Meat Market, and that’s a pretty fucking bad part of town.” He was pointing to an area on the map, which seemed to be a pretty open area from the map layout. “We believe the PLR are involved. I’m sending you in to find our marines, provide support and calling CASEVAC if necessary. You’re the quick reaction force, gentlemen. I’m trusting you to handle this. Let’s go find our marines!” Cole was now finished briefing the squad and giving them their orders.
“We’re on it. Let’s go!” Campo ordered.
“Uh, Twi? What is this new magic spell yer talkin bout?” Applejack asked, wondering why Twilight would want them all to come to the library for a new spell or whatever she said.
“Yeah Twilight, aren’t you gonna tell us what it is?” Rainbow asked, actually interested in what it does.
“Well, it’s a spell that will open up a hole which will allow us to see anywhere we want in Equestria without anypony knowing we’re there. So, if I wanted to see what was going on in the Sugar Cube Corner kitchen right now, I could open up a hole in the wall and it would allow us to see inside the kitchen.” Twilight explained.
“Like a magic mirror!” Pinkie exclaimed, bouncing into the air higher than physically possible.
“Sort of Pinkie, except this is real.” Twilight told her.
“So, where does the hole go, not the one on the wall, but the one in the kitchen?” Rainbow asked, very interested in this now.
“The hole would be transparent, and if the pony touched it, they would go through it, unless it was on the wall. Then they would be walking into a wall. This isn’t a portal.” Twilight answered.
“Well, I’d sure like ta see what’s goin on in the Ponyville school house. Make sure Apple Bloom aint doin’ no more of that “Gabby Gums” stuff.”
“Alright Applejack, I can try. But I’ll need a few specific ingredients.” Twilight answered in her usual serious tone.
“So, what do you need?” Rainbow asked.
“I’m going to need a storm cloud, 6 bottles of zap-apple jam, crocodile saliva, and some spider silk.” Twilight answered, leaving her friends to get the items.
[3 hours later]
“Alright. We got all of the ingredients?” Twilight asked, now enthusiastic that they would be able to look anywhere they wanted. “Storm cloud, check. Saliva, check. Silk, check. Jam, 6 bottles, check.”
“So, Twilight? What’s the storm cloud for?” Rainbow asked her, confused on why she would need a storm cloud for magic.
“Presentation.” Twilight answered.
“All right, put this in there, mix that, put the jam in, now for the tears. Rainbow, kick some lightning out of the cloud, please.” Rainbow flew up to the dark cloud she had brought and kicked it, sending a lightning bolt into the mix. “Great! Now we just put this on the wall!” Twilight threw the solution onto the wall, but something was…odd. The solution opened a hole, but it was completely black. The school paper couldn’t have closed down yet.
“Uh oh, twilight? I forgot Gummy was an alligator, not a crocodile.” Pinkie told her, this time without her usual sing-song voice.
“That’s not good…” Twilight only got those words out before she and her friends were sucked into the hole. The hole then disappeared from the room.
[5 Minutes later, location unknown]
“Ugh…everypony okay?” Applejack called out.
“I-I think so…”
“That was fun! Can we do it again?”
“I’m fine Applejack.”
“Yeah…Twilight, I thought you said it wasn’t a portal.” A very annoyed cyan Pegasus said.
“It wasn’t supposed to be, but Pinkie gave us alligator spit instead of crocodile spit.”
“Sorry…”
“It’s alright sugarcube. Nopony was hurt.”
“So…where are we?” Fluttershy asked.
“I don’t know.” Twilight answered. “It doesn’t look like Equestria, it doesn’t FEEL like Equestria. It’s way too hot, even for Appleloosa.”
“My my, wherever we are, it has horrible décor. I mean, just look at the colors, and the room itself!” They just tuned out Rarity while she went on her rant, but she did have a point. They were in a dull gray room, with smaller rooms with frames of what seemed to be wood, and which the walls of them were chain link fences. It had about 3 lights hanging from the ceiling, and coming from one of the rooms was a box with 2 wires coming out of it, they went across the floor, and into an air vent.
Where in Equestria are we?
Chapter 1: Talking Horses
Chapter 1
“We’re on it. Let’s go!” Campo ordered. The squad moved from the table and continued up the alleyway behind Cole, lifting their guns as they jogged. “We’re way behind, gentlemen. Let’s go find this patrol!” Campo ordered as he started to walk up the stairs.
“Do we have a sitrep on enemy inside this district?” Matkovic asked.
“Assume the worst.” Campo answered. The squad then went into a house made out of a garage, and kicked open the back door to another alley. They then sprinted across the considerably long alleyway and came to the back door of a school, where a dog was barking at then from behind a fence.
“Getting mad creepout vibes in here.” Chaffin stated, right before they entered the school. “What is this? A school?” He asked.
“Oh right, I keep forgetting they don’t have schools where you come from.” Montes insulted, aiming to lighten the mood for the rest of the squad.
“Stick together.” Campo told them as he entered a door to his left, which went to what used to be a cafeteria. “Check your corners.” There were plenty of hiding places for the PLR, and Campo wasn’t going to lose a man from carelessness today. The building started to shake, breaking a couple lights before it subsided.
“What was that?” Matkovic asked.
“Someone needs to tell EOD to blow those ammo dumps further away.” Campo answered, just taking a guess
“Quake tremor. We’re like 90 klicks from a major faultline.” Montes gave a more belivable answer. The squad exited the school into a garage, with a partly opened gate at the end of it. “Big cross-street here. Hella exposed.” Montes told them as he looked at the road to the next building.
“Wait one. Something coming!” Campo whispered as the squad moved to the shadows of the garage. A jeep with 4 or 5 PLR in it moved across the road past the marines, and continued to go, not noticing them. “Okay, come on. Let’s go.” Campo said as he slammed his body into the gate. “Cross in twos, Black, you and Matkovic take the door on the right.”
“Okay, moving!” Matkovic said as he started to run across the road with Blackburn in tow.
“Get the lead out, Black. Now!” Campo ordered as Black continued to sprint across the road. He and Matkovic then stacked up on the door, and Matkovic slammed his body into it, forcing it open. The garage was clear, and they moved to the second one. It was clear as well. They continued out of the garages, where the rest of the squad was standing.
“Not a single civie, I don’t like this shit.”
CRACK!
A sudden ear-splitting crack penetrated the silence of the parking lot, and Chaffin fell to the ground, injured from a shot to the left shoulder. Blackburn rushed to him and picked him up. He then proceeded to drag Chaffin into the garage.
“GUN! SNIPER!” Campo shouted as dozens of PLR started piling into the lot.
“Popping smoke!” Matkovic yelled over the sound of gunfire.
“Where the fuck is he?!” Montes asked.
“Get him inside! Come on! COME ON!” Campo ordered Blackburn as he pulled Chaffin across the floor. After he had dragged Chaffin inside, he propped him up against one of the supports, and ran outside to assist in the fight against the PLR. Luckily, the PLR were taking cover behind vehicles. Which exploded with ease from the grenades the squad threw. After a brief engagement, and taking out 2 RPGs, the PLR retreated, seeing they had lost too many men. A medic squad arrived on scene and started to treat Chaffin as the squad advanced up a staircase in the building next to the 2 garages. “Alright, up we go. Check your corners.” Campo ordered. They were now in a close quarters situation, they needed to be on guard.
“I hope Chaffin’s gonna be okay.” Matkovic stated as the 4 men continued up the staircase.
“He’ll be fine, he’s a tough son of a bitch.” Campo quickly said, trying to forget about Chaffin.
“Another tremor?” Matkovic asked.
“Maybe, let’s keep moving.” Campo answered. The squad reached the top of the stairs, and stacked up at the door. “Eyes open. It’s all you.” Campo said, before breaching the door. They walked into the room slowly. CRACK! A window near Campo shattered as a round went through it. “Shit! Too exposed. We got to go cover to cover, don’t stay visible in the windows.” Campo ordered, the squad then continued to sprint past the windows, not stopping until the end of the hallway, where 3 PLR exited a doorway, and were quickly gunned down.
“These guys weren’t locals. They weren’t speaking Arabic” Montes said. “Al-Bashir is exporting all-star insurgent talent outta Iran into here now?”
“I don’t know. Let’s just get up on that roof.” Campo answered.
“Misfit 1-3, this is Misfit Actual. That sniper’s still up, be careful out there.”
No, really? Blackburn thought.
The squad advanced onto the roof through the doorway, with cover from the sniper at every angle. CRACK! Almost every angle. The potted plant was not in that angle.
“Shit, contact!” Campo said, voice all too serious.
“Anybody got eyes on?” Montes asked.
“I can’t see him.” Campo answered.
“Dude that’s a fuckin .50!” Montes stated. The squad moved from the wall to an rooftop AC unit. CRACK! Another round went past the squad’s new cover position, and hit the leg of a small water tower nearby.
It’s the hotel – the hotel I think.” Matkovic told them.
“Let’s go, cover to cover. We’ll draw him out.” Campo ordered them. The squad proceeded to go cover to cover from the multiple air conditioning units on the roof, the sniper still taking shots at them. They eventually reached their position, where they crouched behind the cover of a wall. The sniper continued to take shots at them, demolishing the decorative wall above them.
“I got AT” Matkovic said.
“Give it to Black. Shit, cover’s getting ropey.” Campo ordered. Matkovic slid his AT4 over to Blackburn, who picked it up and waited for orders.
“You see that weapon glint – you waste him!” Campo told Blackburn. “I’ll cover you, and you hit him. Clear your backblast. STANDBY! 3, 2, 1! SUPPRESSING!” Campo yelled the order, and the squad rose up and started firing an all-out blitz at the sniper. Blackburn then rose up and fired the AT4, which took out almost the entire front of the hotel, setting fire to it as well.
“Good effect on target!” Montes yelled. The squad then proceeded to assist with the evacuation of Chaffin, where they took out PLR on the roofs and on the main road. They then crossed over to another building using a piece of plywood, and made their way down to street level. After entering a wooden building, they engaged PLR coming from near Viper squad’s location. In the building, they found 2 KIA members of Viper squad. Exiting the building, they came upon a half-destroyed Humvee, with one wounded marine in it. There was also a van parked near the Humvee, and a considerably large crater in the middle of the road.
“Man this layout doesn’t look right at all.” Matkovic said as he crawled under the van. “Yeah, I found something. This is totally not good, secondaries under here!” Matkovic yelled.
“Secondary!” Montes repeated.
“Secondary, copy that!” Campo acknowledged. “Aw, fuck boys! We are attracting a lot of fucking attention! Campo was getting nervous.
“What’s the problem? Can’t you cut the wire?” Montes asked Matkovic.
“I can’t cut anything till this wire’s traced!” Matkovic responded.
“Blackburn, you’re nominated! Follow the wire!” Campo ordered him, and Blackburn proceeded to run to the building the wire was coming from. After he breached the entrance, he followed the wire into an air duct. He was about halfway through the vents when he felt vibration coming from all around him. “You okay in there? Just another goddamn tremor, nothing to worry about.” Campo told him. He proceeded to follow the wire, and thought he heard some voices speaking…English?
“Ya’ll hear that?”
“It’s probably just sounds coming from the earthquake Applejack.”
“Twi, sorry if this may sound rude, but earthquakes don’t exactly speak Equestrian.”
The hell am I hearing? What’s Equestrian? Blackburn thought to himself.
He reached the end of the vents and dropped down, still following the wire. He thought he heard a couple of gasps and a whimper, but he just set that aside. He still had to disconnect the wire. He went into the room where the wire was coming from, and found a box with 2 wires in it. He had no idea which one to pull first, so he just took a guess and pulled. There was no explosion, that was good.
A shadow of someone appeared on the wall in front of him, and he instinctively turned around. A PLR insurgent punched him in the face, almost knocking him to the ground. He tried to go for another punch, but Blackburn blocked it and punched him in the chest. He then pushed the terrorist into the desk face-first. The terrorist fell to his knees, and Blackburn pulled him up and started for another punch, which the PLR caught, and then gave Black an uppercut, followed by a headbutt. Blackburn then took hold of him, and threw him into the chain link wall on the right side of the room. That move knocked the air out of the PLR, and Black quickly took advantage of this. The terrorist tried to get up, but was met with a grab on his head, and then Black slammed his head into the wall behind him multiple times, followed by 2 punches to either side of his face, a punch to his stomach, and then a lethal snapping of the neck. He fell to the ground limp.
Blackburn heard a rapid beeping and quickly pulled out the other wire, just in time.
“Was that really necessary?” He heard something whispering behind him.
“Who the hell is there?!” He turned around and raised his gun. He then saw…horses?
“Multicolored horses. That’s nice.” He said to himself.
“We’re PONIES.” The blue one with a rainbow colored mane said.
“TALKING HORSES? WHAT THE FUCK? HORSES CAN’T TALK!” Blackburn practically broke the lights saying that.
“Ponies!” The whole group of them said.
“Ponies can’t talk either!” Blackburn answered.
“You can, so why can’t we?” The blue one said.
“Humans talk! Ponies can’t!”
“Well, here we are.”
“Well, time to go tell Campo that I’ve officially gone crazy.”
“Ooh! Can we come too?!” The pink one asked.
“Sure, I’ll need proof to tell him that I’ve gone crazy.”
“Ok, but was that violence really necessary?” The white one with a stylish purple mane asked.
“Being that they’re terrorists and try to kill pretty much everything they see, then yes.”
After answering those questions, the group followed Blackburn back up to the main house, and back to street level. A firefight between PLR and the Marines was already in progress. The ponies almost froze as they saw the area, the yellow one laid on the ground and covered her ears from the sounds of gunfire and helicopters. The ponies did stop as they saw 2 marines get killed from the bullets that were filling the air.
“Blackburn, get over here now!” Campo shouted over the comms, Blackburn ran over to Campo with the ponies in tow.
“Sarge, I’ve officially gone crazy.”
“Black, this is no time to joke around.”
“No, I am imagining multicolored ponies that can talk. And I’m pretty sure they’re behind me right now.
“Black, there are multicolored ponies behind you, but you got me at the part that they talk.”
“WE DO TALK!” The cyan one yelled. Almost every marine within hearing distance turned to the pony, and just stared before going back to the task at hand.
“Black, you aren’t crazy. Unless we’re all crazy here. I’ll try to keep the ponies alive, because I think command would rather see them than get a transmission. Looks like we have another objective. Now get up on the wall, and man the LMG! Ponies, you just stay behind this van!”
“If I may ask, what in tha hay is goin on here?” The orange one with a Stetson hat asked.
“War, now stay behind the fucking van if you want to survive!”
“So, Twilight, you have NO idea where we are?” Rainbow asked.
“No, rainbow. I do not.” She answered, tired of answering the same question over and over. Rainbow opened her mouth to ask another question when the ground beneath them started to shake.
“Whoa…what was that?” Rainbow asked,
“That, would be an earthquake.” Twilight answered, happy to answer a question besides where they were.
“…Okay in there? Just another goddamn tremor, nothing to worry about.”
“Ya’ll hear that?” Applejack asked.
“Its probably just sounds from the earthquake Applejack.” Twilight answered.
"Twi, sorry if this may sound rude, but earthquakes don't exactly speak Equestrian." Applejack told her. As soon as she said that, a creature that was standing on its back legs came through the air vent above them. It raised a log-like object and looked around the room. It then walked over to the smaller room where the wires were coming from.
“I can’t say I like its clothing.” Rarity whispered to them. The creature moved its hoof, no; it had 5 appendages on it. Hand? It moved its hand over the 2 wires on the box, before pulling out the one on the left. Another creature that came from the hallway walked up behind the first one, and then…bucked it? The first creature then started to fight the second one. They fought without any mercy at all, it was quite disturbing to watch. The first creature finally brought its leg onto the second’s neck, killing it. There was a sudden rapid beeping, and the creature spun around and pulled out the second wire.
“Was that really necessary?” Rarity asked nopony in particular. The creature heard this and then turned around.
“Who the hell is there?!” It asked, then it looked at them. Twilight felt a wave of fear wash over her, she had just witnessed it kill another of its kind. It might try to kill them, it might try to capture them, it might-
“Well, multicolored horses. That’s nice.” It said. It had a voice like a stallion.
Huh, it must be male. Twilight thought to herself
“We’re PONIES.” Rainbow blurted out, annoyed that he called them horses.
“TALKING HORSES? WHAT THE FUCK? HORSES CAN’T TALK!” It yelled, almost loud enough to render them deaf.
“Ponies!” All of them said at once, without thinking of what he might do.
“Ponies can’t talk either!” He told them. Twilight was now confused, ponies had always talked, why didn’t they here?
“You can, so why can’t we?” Rainbow asked him.
“Humans talk! Ponies can’t!” He answered back, still visibly startled by them.
“Well, here we are.” Rainbow told him.
“Well, time to go tell Campo that I’ve officially gone crazy.”
“Ooh! Can we come too?!” Pinkie asked, most likely wanting to see who Campo was. Hopefully she didn’t annoy them too much.
“Sure, I’ll need proof to tell him that I’ve gone crazy.” He answered, with a bit of sarcasm and a bit of seriousness in his voice.
“Ok, but was that violence really necessary?” Rarity asked him, wondering why he would kill another one of his own kind.
“Being that they’re terrorists and try to kill pretty much everything they see, then yes.” They were all shocked by that. He was killing his own kind who tried to kill everything? They were now even more curious of this place than they were of the sounds coming from above them.
After answering those questions, the group followed him upstairs, and then to a small city area. The ponies almost froze as they saw the area, it had dozens of humans around the area, each carrying their own log that make a loud cracking sound as it shot fire. The buildings around the area looked like they were ready to collapse, and there was pieces of debris everywhere. Some places were on fire, and there was a crater near a weird object on wheels. They jumped as two of the humans that were dressed the same as the one they had met fell to the ground dead. Two flying objects that sounded like they were chopping the air up flew over the area, and shot fire from their wings. They could barely hear, and there were things flying through the air faster than rainbow could go. Fluttershy laid on the ground and covered her ears from the loud noises that she wasn’t used to, actually none of them were used to his. So many creatures were being killed at such a rate, it was chaos.
“Blackburn, get over here now!” The ponies heard one of them say, and the human they already knew started running over to him.
His name is Blackburn? Twilight thought to herself.
“Sarge, I’ve officially gone crazy.” Blackburn said to the human that called him over when they reached him.
“Black, this is no time to joke around.” The other human told him.
“No, I am imagining multicolored ponies that can talk. And I’m pretty sure they’re behind me right now.” Blackburn said. Twilight was insulted that he thought they were imaginary. Ponies have always talked and looked like this! Why weren’t they here?
“Black, there are multicolored ponies behind you, but you got me at the part that they talk.” The one he called “Sarge” told him.
“WE DO TALK!” Rainbow yelled. Almost every human that heard her turned to her, and just stared before continuing to shoot fire out of their metal logs. A few seconds went by before Sarge spoke up.
“Black, you aren’t crazy. Unless we’re all crazy here. I’ll try to keep the ponies alive, because I think command would rather see them than get a transmission. Looks like we have another objective. Now get up on the wall, and man the LMG! Ponies, you just stay behind this van!”
“If I may ask, what in tha hay is goin on here?” Appejack asked him.
“War, now stay behind the fucking van if you want to survive!” Sarge answered her.
“My, such language.” Rarity said when Sarge was distracted.
Author's Note: If you find any spelling/grammar mistakes, please report them in the comments.