Laughter

Dear Mathilda,

My name is Derpy Hooves. I’m a pegasus pony. Hi! I decided to start writing a journal. Doctor Horse said it would be a good idea. And then I thought my journal should have a name. I thought about it and named you Mathilda. It’s a common donkey name. I hope that’s okay.

This is going to be a long first entry. I have a lot to tell you about! Like how I found you. I had an appointment with Doctor Horse. We have one every week. He likes to make sure my head and heart keep getting better. We talk about a lot of things and he gives me a puzzle to make sure I can still do it. It’s nice.

After that I went to pick up Dinky from kindergarten. Dinky is my daughter. She’s a smart little unicorn pony. A closed street blocked my usual way to her school. There was water everywhere and some loud ponies were working. I can fly okay. I can go pretty fast until I hit somepony’s house. Then I end up in the hospital again. So I walked a different way.

I went down another street and passed a shop. It had pens and crayons and notebooks and backpacks and stuff in the window. It was all on sale. I knew that right away. Sale stickers helped me learn to read again. I really like saving bits. I don’t get many.

One of the notebooks in the shop window had a donkey on the front. It was huge. That’s good, because I write big. It’s perfect for my journal. It was a huge coincidence I found it, or maybe fate.

And that’s where I’ll start, because fate's a funny thing. That’s good, because otherwise it would be cruel. I used to think it was cruel. Now I think fate fell in a bunch of poison joke. It hurts, but it's funny looking back. What am I supposed to do if not laugh? My parents named me Derpy. Eventually, I lived up to it. That's funny, right?

Maybe I just have a weird sense of humor. Maybe I have to. Laughing along with the universe and fate’s poison joke and other ponies... I don't know. It's right.

I wasn't very happy at first, of course. Before, I got As and Bs in school, except for failing dance because it bored me. Who needs to dance when they can fly like a Wonderbolt as a filly? I was on the fast track to becoming one. I loved my life. Everypony my age admired me. My parents were so proud of me. I outsmarted all of my problems. Everypony liked me, I thought. Ponies couldn't understand my name. Some ponies called me the next Spitfire. Spitfire did too. I heard she was the next Firefly. I forget who that was, but it's really impressive. She's really impressive, too. I wish she still noticed me.

I’ll finish writing tomorrow. I have to make dinner now. Dinky’s hungry. So am I. After dinner I’m going to a party for a new pony in town. Pinkie Pie is nice. She always invites me to her parties. She invites everypony else, too.

After the party is the Summer Sun Celebration. Everypony will be up all night. I hope I don’t fall asleep on somepony again.

What a day! Or is it night? I can’t tell. The sun didn’t come up this morning. The new pony is called Twilight Sparkle. The other new pony is called Nightmare Moon. Nightmare Moon showed up at the Summer Sun Celebration instead of the Princess. She said the night would last forever and Twilight yelled at her. She’s scary-looking and has a mean voice, but she’s silly. Night doesn’t last that long.

Everypony who talked to me said I was super brave to work today. I don’t get it. I have to work, or ponies don’t get mail and I can’t buy food. Dinky had to go to school, so I guess Miss Cheerilee is brave too. I left Dinky my lantern because she’s scared of the dark. I probably gave letters to ten different wrong ponies without the light. On the other hoof, I didn’t burn any of them by accident.

I’m so sleepy. I accidentally napped leaning against somepony’s door. It was Cheerilee’s and the flower triplets’, I think. I don’t remember well. I’ll go to bed when I finish writing. Dinky already took herself to bed. I’m proud of her. She’s a very responsible filly. Last we

I shouldn’t fall asleep while writing. And I should use a pencil. I got ink all over my face. I couldn’t wash all of it off for three days. It was pretty funny. Ponies looked at me strangely when they answered the door. Some of them looked at me with pity. Pity is a lot worse. But some ponies laughed. They’re the ones who know me, like Berry Punch and Davenport. Sometimes ponies yell at them but it’s easier to laugh when somepony else does. I wish ponies would let me decide who can laugh.

But right now a lot of ponies are missing. Twilight Sparkle is gone. It’s sad because Twilight was going to stay in the library. Ponyville hasn’t had a regular librarian for a few years. Nightmare Moon is gone too. She was as big as the Princess, and she had a horn and wings like the Princess. It’s sad. It would have been fun to have our very own Princess in Ponyville.

I also haven’t seen Rainbow Dash, even when she normally practices stunts. Some ponies are scared. They say other ponies aren’t here anymore either. They’re not just staying home. I would know if they did. I visit everypony to give them mail.

But I was going to tell you about Dinky. Dinky is a big filly. She takes care of herself a lot. Sometimes I think she’s already smarter than me. She’s only six! She gets good grades and has friends. She’s a very happy pony. I’m proud of her.

I was a happy filly too when I was little. Then I took a dare to fly through a building site. It was wide open. It wasn't supposed to be dangerous. I was ten, I think. All the big spaces were even bigger to me.

I don't remember the crash. That's okay. I saw one picture, once. It was in the newspaper. It made me throw up. I don't need to see it again. I almost didn't see anything again. But the Princess heard. I guess the crash was really bad if she heard. Or maybe I really was important before. She made sure I had the best doctors. She even visited the hospital. Twice, I think.

She's the best Princess. She saved me from being blind. She said she would use sun magic and it would bring back the light. It felt tingly all over my head, and she sounded tired after she did it. I only saw a bright blob at first. The doctors helped the sight I have now come back.

It came back wrong, but that’s okay. I guess I'd be okay if I went blind too. I've had a lot of years to live with it. I'm glad I didn't have to. I like seeing things. I don't see right, but the world is super pretty. It has flowers and bees and Spitfire and cloud sculptures and stuff. I'd rather see them weird than not at all.

I had to stop flying for a while. After my eyes got better, Mom and Dad taped down my wings because I wouldn't stop trying. My feathers got stuck to the tape. I hated it a lot. I was a flyer, even for a pegasus. But it saved me from more accidents. I couldn't even walk around without help at first. I kept bumping things and ponies.

Oh my gosh, the sun is back!