"Hey Yug, do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder in France?" Joey asked. "A Royale with Cheese. It's because of the metric system,"

"Joey, stop quoting movies you haven't seen," Yugi replied.

"Nyehh...bite me,"

Joey put his feet up on the bleacher row in front of him, his hands behind his head, and flourished his giant mop of blond hair.

"So who's dueling now?" Tea asked.

"Attention duelists!" one of Pegasus's spiky-haired employees announced. "The duel between Ryou Bakura and Marik Ishtar will begin in five minutes! I repeat, the duel between Ryou Bakura and Marik Ishtar will begin in five minutes!" As if on cue, Marik and Yami Bakura rose from the bleachers and towards the dueling field in the middle of the gym

"Bakura? That British kid from school?" Yugi asked.

"I can hear you, Yugi, and for the record, I am not British! I am Japanese, same as you!" Yami Bakura retorted in a British accent.

"Whatever you say, Bakura," Yugi said.

"Marik, are you ready to have your soul be cast into the void between the worlds for all eternity?" Yami Bakura asked.

"Not really, no," Marik replied.

"Good, because that's not going to happen. This won't be a Shadow Game," Yami Bakura said.

"Wait, really?" Marik asked.

"Nope. I just want to have some fun with this duel," Yami Bakura said.

"Fun? Fun is when you completely obliterate the opposing duelist with your Egyptian God cards and scar them for life! Then you laugh, because laughing's also fun," Marik declared.

"Actually, fun is more like sitting in a big, comfy chair with a cup of tea and a Jane Austen novel," Yami Bakura said.

"Wow...you are painfully British," Marik said.

"I'm not British, I'm Japanese!" Yami Bakura objected.

"Yeah right, and I'm Knuckles the Echidna!" Yugi called out to Yami Bakura.

"Oh sod off, Yugi!" Yami Bakura retorted. "Anyways, shall we get started?"

"Hurry up, I've been waiting for this duel all day!" Marik said.

"Attention duelists!" the spiky-haired guy announced. "The duel between Ryou Bakura and Marik Ishtar will now begin!"

Yami Bakura and Marik both started off with 8,000 Life Points each.

"It's my turn!" Yami Bakura drew a card. "I set one card face down on the field and summon my Goblin Zombie in attack mode!"

A deformed bipedal monster, certainly one deserving of the name 'goblin', rose from Yami Bakura's central monster space. He was wielding a cutlass with his left hand and wearing a sort of golden exoskeleton, with two sharp golden mandibles where his mouth should be. He had 1,100 Attack Points.

"And that ends my turn," Yami Bakura stated.

"It's my turn!" Marik drew a card. "I play my Pot of Greed magic card, allowing me to draw five more cards!" Pegasus glanced in Marik's direction. "Alright, fine! Two more cards," Marik drew two more cards.

"Now I summon Melchid, the Four-Face Beast in attack mode!" Marik declared.

From Marik's central monster space rose four floating masks, connected to form a square. The one facing Yami Bakura had a big goofy grin on his face, as if he just ripped him off at the car dealership. The floating masks had 1,500 Attack Points.

"Now, Melchid, attack Bakura's Goblin Zombie!" Marik commanded.

Melchid rushed towards the Goblin Zombie at a high velocity, shattering him on impact and lowering Yami Bakura's Life Points to 7,600.

"That activates my trap card," Yami Bakura flipped over his set card. "Fearful Earthbound. Whenever one of your monsters attacks me, you lose 500 Life Points." Marik's Life Points went down to 7,500.

"Damn, that sucks," Marik said. "But it won't matter soon enough. I end my turn!"

"It's my turn!" Yami Bakura drew a card. "I play my Night Of The Living Dead spell card, allowing me to special summon three undead monsters from my deck or my Graveyard to the field. So I summon my Goblin Zombie, my Earl of Demise, and Pharynx, the Changeling Warrior!"

Yami Bakura's Goblin Zombie came back to the field with 1,100 Attack Points, along with the Earl of Demise, a monster resembling a decayed corpse and wielding a rapier with 2,000 Attack Points, and Pharynx, the Changeling Warrior, who looked almost like an alicorn, except he was smaller, and entirely black with holes sprinkled around his body and wings. Pharynx had his teeth bared and looked ready to fight, with his 2,500 Attack Points.

"Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?" Marik asked.

"Oh don't even try to make that joke, Marik," Yami Bakura replied. "Pharynx, attack Marik's Four-Face Beast!"

Pharynx took off towards Melchid, one hoof extended. When Pharynx's hoof connected with Melchid's goofy grin mask, Melchid shattered immediately, and Marik's Life Points went down to 6,500.

"Now, Goblin Zombie, Earl of Demise, attack Marik's Life Points directly!" Yami Bakura commanded.

Goblin Zombie and Earl of Demise ran up to Marik and attacked him with their swords, lowering Marik's Life Points down to 3,400.

"That ends my turn," Yami Bakura said.

"It's my turn!" Marik drew a card. "I play my Reaper's Due magic card, allowing me to Tribute Summon using any monster that's on the field!"

"Okay, now you're just making cards up!" Yami Bakura objected.

"Perhaps I am, but every duelist does that. Just ask Pegasus," Marik said.

"It's true. We tend to do that a lot," Pegasus confirmed.

"I sacrifice your Goblin Zombie, your Earl of Demise, and Pharynx, the Changeling Warrior, in order to Tribute Summon my greatest card of all!" Marik shouted.

Goblin Zombie, Earl of Demise, and Pharynx all shattered and went to the Graveyard, as a ball of golden light began to shine on Marik's side of the field.

"Arise, Egyptian God, and unleash your vengeance upon my opponent! Arise, and let all who stand in my way fall upon their knees before your mighty blasts that shatter the heavens themselves! Arise and bring to me absolute victory! Arise, Winged Dragon of Ra!"

Marik's ball of light began to twist and morph until it was in the form of a colossal dragon that appeared to be made of solid gold and had 6,600 Attack Points. It belted out a mighty roar, which made Yami Bakura take a step back.

"I'm not done yet!" Marik declared. "I shall also sacrifice all but 501 of my Life Points, in order to raise the Winged Dragon of Ra's Attack Points to 9,499!"

"Oh bugger," Yami Bakura could not say anything else.

"I still don't understand this game," Twilight Sparkle sat on the bleachers next to Sunset Shimmer.

"I don't think any of us do," Sunset Shimmer replied.

"I end my turn!" Marik declared.

Wow, am I in a jam. I'm going to need to draw something truly outrageous in order to win this duel, Yami Bakura thought.

"It's my turn! I draw!" Naturally, Yami Bakura drew something truly outrageous.

"I play my Sealed Away spell card!" Yami Bakura slammed the card onto his playing field. "This allows me to send any monster on your side of the field to the Graveyard. A monster like, say, your Winged Dragon of Ra!"

"Ha! Keep dreaming, Bakura! The Winged Dragon of Ra is an Egyptian God card, and is therefore immune to all spell and trap effects!" Marik declared.

The Winged Dragon of Ra dissolved into a silhouette composed of yellow light and was sent to the Graveyard.

"WHAT??!!"

"And it seems like your Winged Dragon of Ra is no more," Yami Bakura stated matter-of-factly.

"No! Y-you can't...that's cheating! My Winged Dragon of Ra was supposed to be invincible!" Marik exclaimed.

"Let me let you in on a little secret, Marik," Yami Bakura said. "All of the world's top duelists, me, Yugi, Kaiba, we're all just a bunch of topdecking cheaters who use mystical Ancient Egyptian artifacts to win card games,"

"Yeah, I gathered as much!" Marik shouted. "But Kaiba doesn't have a mystical artifact from Ancient Egypt though,"

"Well, he's Seto Kaiba, so I'm pretty sure he can do whatever he wants," Yami Bakura said.

"Damn straight!" Kaiba called from the bleachers.

"Oh,"

"I shall also use Monster Reborn in order to call back my Earl of Demise to the field!" Earl of Demise rose back up to Yami Bakura's central monster square, rapier in hand.

Now, Earl of Demise, attack Marik's Life Points directly!" Yami Bakura commanded.

Earl of Demise ran up to Marik and stabbed his dueling platform, causing his Life Points to go down to 0.

"Looks like Bakura here wins!" Pegasus said. "Congratulations! That shall be the last duel for today. Everybody go home now!"

"Well that went well," Yami Bakura said.

"I shall have my revenge someday, Bakura!" Marik shouted.

"Ah nuts, we forgot to book a hotel!" Joey realized.

"That line feels like the setup for an advertisement," Tea said.

"No kidding," Tristan added.

Suddenly, a pink-haired girl with lighter pink skin bounced towards Yugi and his friends.

"Hi there! Is one of you named 'Yugi Moto' by any chance?" the girl asked.

"That would be me," Yugi answered. "And who might you be?"

"I'm Pinkie Pie, and I just love making new friends! Hey, would you four like to spend the night with me and my friends? My other friend Twilight Sparkle told me we might need you for a teeny tiny itty-bitty problem we have!"

"Hey, this all seems too convenient," Joey said. "What's the catch for all of this?"

"Catch? Why on Earth would there be a catch?" Pinkie Pie replied.

"Alright, I'll trust ya...for now," Joey said.

"Yay! Come on, let's go right now! My friends will be so excited to meet you!" Pinkie Pie said.

"Well, guess we have that problem solved now. Let's go," Yugi and his friends followed Pinkie Pie down the bleachers and out of the gymnasium.

Author's Note

I see that Yugioh characters get better reception than Equestria Girls characters. I'll keep that in mind.