smoking barrel

It was a dark day. Not all crazy, "dark-and-stormy-night", but cloudy dark. Reaper and I were off to see Trixie. She thought we were offering to do a job for her, when really we were hired to kill her. The stallion that hired us to kill her was anonymous and if we don't do it he will kill us. I approached the shack; Reaper was atop a building with a sniper that could tear a stallion's head off in one shot. Lucky for Trixie; this needs to be an "accident". I waltz in, whistling the Mighty Morphing Power Ponies theme song (I bucking loved that show). All of a sudden the astoundingly stupid trixie pointed a mini Uzi to my head. "Why hello,"

she said. "What brings you here?". Naturally, I hoofed her in the face then grabbed a statue and bonked her on the head.

I paused to smile at the thought of Phoenix Wright, then proceeded with the murder. I didn't hit her hard enough for blood, took the murder weapon and got rid of my hoofsteps. No evidence left... except that I was carrying a famously obnoxious pony on my back. Shining Armor and his squad approached me; I snapped the first squad member's neck, then the second one kneed me in the stomach. I cut his neck off with my sword. The next two got picked off by sniper fire, leaving Shining Armor. I cut off his horn to stop him from using magic, grabbed his hoof, shook it and said, "Hi! You must be Twi's brother, nice meeting you!" Then I broke his leg and gave him my patented K.O. Punch.

I picked up trixie and took her to my basement.

Two hours later she wakes up and complains about her bucking wrinkled cape.

"You have some explaining to do." I said.

"Trixie refuses to talk." said (DO I REALLY HAVE TO SAY WHO BUCKING SAID THAT)Trixie.

I grabbed her by the neck, put her in my freezer, then kicked the door on her skull a couple times, shattering her temples and spilling blood everywhere."Still not talking?" I said. "Okay, okay I knew you were coming. But hay, I wouldn't kill such a handsome stallion."

"Oh yeah, well, you called me handsome so I guess I'll just let you out, then I'll get arrested while proclaiming my true love for you." I replied, my voice practically dripping with sarcasm. "REALLY?!" She exclaimed, so I picked her up and smashed her head through my cement walls. "HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS COMING?" "It's simple." She said, "I hired you."

I picked up a nerby sledgehammer and smashed her brains open on the spot.

Reaper just stood by the steps holding two steaming mugs of hot chocolate. "You seem like your in a good mood" said my black and red friend, Reaper. "its nothing just some other weirdo who thinks she's smart enough to kill us." "Anyway when our next job" I asked reaper. "in 10 minutes" said reaper "are we flying" I asked "yes" reaper replied. I quickly took flight and flew in what I completely randomly knew was the right direction for no reason. "The person who hired us requested to stay anonymous" said reaper. "who are we gonna obliterate the skulls of this time"I vinyl slash destroyer of worlds demanded to know

"rainbowdash" said reaper