smoking barrel

"WHAT" I screamed when I arrived at base  "I CANT MURDER MY BUCKING BEST FREIND"  I yelled practically begging for the FBI "THATS IT IM ASSIGNING US A MISSION FOR ONCE, TEXHOOVES AND COMPUTERMANE TRACK THE IP ADRESS OF THAT EMAIL WERE GONNA MURDER THAT PONY NOPONY MESSES WITH DASH WITHOUT FEELING THE PAINBOW" I stated "ooohhh who's got a crush on rainbow who's got a crush on rainbow" mocked inferno.

"shut. up." I warned "first comes love then comes marriage then comes a baby in the baby carriage" so I walked up and snapped his neck so slowly you could smell the pain.

"ummmmmm...okay". Said reaper blown away at how professionally I manage to explode in fits of anger. "okay" I said after I calmed down a little "call up rainbow and luna and lets not forget sir pipington!!!" "YES SIR" cried quick silver, my best assasin despite his jealousy.

a few hours later

"you called" said rainbow complete with war paint, a stakeout,brass knuckles, two fully automatic glocks, and a hunting knife.

"yeah ill brief you when the others get here" I replied. As if on cue pipsqueak and luna (LOL when I first wrote this I said Pipsqueak Luna) came in. "NOW can we know what the bucks going on" said dash, ready to kick some serious flank.

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"Im sure your all wondering why I gathered you here" I said sitting in the perfect stance in the perfect chair with the classic, Hairless cat. "The answer is quite simple, Somepony sent me on an assassination mission". I felt so awesome stating all this as if this was some crazy book written by a devilishly handsome author. "so what? you get sent on missions all the time, What makes this one so special?" said flutte-I mean big ma-DARV'IT. "Because... Pause for dramatic effect... I was hired to kill rain-"

I hesitated, Should I tell rainbowdash? I mean what if she went on a killing spree in here and killed all of us? No, I decided on the option that didn't involve slaughter (which surprised even myself) "-cloud" I finished. "And we need to kill my employer because who would hire me to kill raincloud I mean I love her". BUCK now everypony thought I was in love with Raincloud.

man, This day was going to be Purrrrrrfffect the kind of rainbow has dreamed since she was smaaaaaaall.  " WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME YOU LIKED LOVED MY BUCKING SISTER"

Long story short, Awkward silence ensued