Come and Catch Me

Just throwing something out there. Dogs are work. Tucker had sprinted laps around a freaking castle in our game of tag, and I was not prepared. After an hour of jumping and racing. I had fallen onto my back, panting as Tucker looked down at me with a smug grin on his doggy face. I grumbled through the gasps for air. "Tucker, you suck. Just thought you'd like to know."

He let out a happy bark as he dropped down over my chest. I let out a cough as I smiled, scratching him behind the ear. We sat like that for a moment before a burst of wind disrupted our calm life. I opened my eyes and was forced to pause. That was a very blue pony. She also had a wonderful rainbow mane, but it wasn't what caused me to pause. The small wings I had noticed on the yellow pony were on this one as well, and she was flying. I was fairly certain good old Isaac Newton would have a heart attack at this assault on physics. She looked at me with narrowed eyes before speaking in a rough voice. "And who are you supposed to be?"

I smiled, I had a line for this. I stood up, gently removing Tucker from my chest. "Who? Who is but the form following the function of what, and what I am is a pony in a mask."

She seemed unamused at this, and flew right up to my face. "I can see that."

I took a step back with a half-bow. "Of course you can, I’m not questioning your powers of observation, I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked ma-er pony who he is."

Rainbow paused in front of me. "Oh. Well, I guess that's true." She seemed to be trying to come to terms with my odd little speech. And I knew I had to finish the intro to one of my favorite movies, even if I might confuse poor Twilight when I had given the living rainbow a different name.

I gestured towards myself, then the slowly darkening sky. "But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace soubriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Voila! In view humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin, van guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous." I let out a small laugh, trying to channel V in my every motion. I held my mask as if trying to regain control of myself. "Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

Rainbow stared at me, and I had all my dreams reach their peak as she unwittingly quoted the movie. "So what, are you some crazy pony or something?"

I nodded once before sitting back down, my holy mission complete. "I am quite certain they will say so." I began petting Tucker again as the mare stared at me before I sighed. "Or you could introduce yourself, then I might actually give you a name instead of quoting someone else."

She stared at me before giving me a death glare. "Well, I shouldn't have to introduce myself when some masked weirdo is hanging around my friend's house. Especially when you're hiding behind some dumb mask."

I shrugged. "Be that as it may, I will be as polite as the pony speaking to me." I paused as I thought about it for a moment. "Also it is rude to comment on a mask if it is worn for ones benefit."

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "And why would your mask help me?"

I gestured towards my own face with my free hand. "What is under this mask is scarred and tired. I doubt such young and free ponies as I've found here want to see it." I then waved my hand. "Plus there's less awkward questions about my ugly mug when a mask covers it."

Rainbow stared at me before shaking her head. "Nope, you're definitely going to have to at least show me you are who you say you are before you can wander around town."

I laughed, causing Tucker to jump up. "I'm afraid you're a bit late. I have already run around town, much to some of the local's chagrin. I have also already talked to the local princess, and gotten permission to wait in the library."

The mare paused at that. Before landing with a thump and crossing her arms. "Well Twi's gonna be here in a minute, so we'll just wait here until she gets back. And if she doesn't know you I'm gonna rip off your mask and drag you all the way to Canterlot."

I nodded. "I am sure you'll try, though I would still suggest caution. You may not want to charge into a fight with someone you didn't know."

She seemed interested in something about that, but I ignored her. Instead, I opted to pat Tucker on the sides of his face, starting an age-old game of getting my fingers. Tucker was horrible at it, spinning around as I repeatedly tapped his face in different areas causing him to spin about in a circle. I chuckled as eventually he stopped and glared at me in annoyance. "Fine Tucker, we'll call a truce. I won't beat you at this if you'll slow down when we play tag. Deal?" He let out a happy bark as I smirked. "Liar."

I looked up to see the pony rainbow still staring at me before deciding to try conversation again. "So since you didn't give me a name, Imma just call you Skittles. That cool?" She didn't comment, but the eye twitch did seem to hint that she thought it was decidedly not cool. I was still gonna use it. "So Skittles, I only talked to the Princess for a moment, would you mind filling me in on her?" The mare didn't respond and instead doubled down on her stare. I smiled wide. "Oh, are we playing the silent game? I guess it's between you and Tucker here then huh?" I patted Tucker as he sat down to stare at the mare with a big doggy grin. "I'll be honest, he's probably gonna lose. Tucker likes to add his own version of a color commentary on everything."

At that, he let out a quick bark as if to prove my point. I smiled at him. "See, so now that you've won can you talk? Or are we playing another round?" She maintained her silence, but her glare lessened as a hint of confusion started to gain ground against her annoyance. There was my chink in her armor. Time to exploit it viciously. "Okay new round. I got you this time."

I stared at her with a smirk, as she stared back at me. I could see her annoyance and anger fade away with every passing minute as I began bobbing my head to some invisible music. We continued as I watched the sunset. I had to commend her willpower. It must have been an hour before she finally let out a groan. I smiled wide as I shifted my view to Tucker, who had fallen asleep. I sighed. "Fine, I'll take second place. Waking Tucker up ends in bite marks and sadness for everyone involved."

Then we heard hoof steps coming from the general area of the castle. I stood up and stretched out with a yawn. "C'mon Tucker, lets go see who's knocking upon the castle doors."

Rainbow grumbled as she moved ahead of us. I walked casually, happy to have a moment of peace. Before the mystery mare turned the corner. "But still Twilight, be careful. I don't know what a few of those nobles will do, they seem angry that a commoner was allowed to ascend, and you won't come into your power for another few months."

As the mare turned the corner she let out a surprised gasp. "Luna, what are you doing here?"

I turned the corner only a moment later and saw a true queen. She wore finery I had never seen in person. A dress that seemed to meld with the darkening night swathed her person. A crown of silver and pearl graced her forehead. And she shared the wings and horn of Princess Twilight. As soon as I saw the crown I dropped to one knee, raising my arm across my chest. I could feel some unease, but I refused to raise my head. I didn't have experience dealing with royals, but I knew you didn't speak until spoken too. Finally, the voice from before spoke up. "Rise my little pony. There is no need for such prostration."

I rose fully, checking to make sure my hood was still up. After running my hands over the hood I nodded. "Of course your highness. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Peter Buck, wanderer of the world at wide."

The princess raised an eye at me. "Really, and what are you here for?"

I shrugged hopelessly. "Princess Twilight has graciously allowed me into her home for a while, and I needed a place to sleep while my leg heals. Once I am healed I shall find a way to earn some food for my trip, and continue on my path home."

Princess Luna began staring at me. "I see, and where exactly do you hail from? It is not often I see a pony who hides behind a mask around a princess."

I bowed my head. "Forgive my impropriety, but I have led a hard life. I'm afraid my countenance would do little to calm you and might cause fear from its very visage." I decided to add something for some hopeful pity points. "And I'll be honest. I do not like it as it looks now." I looked at Princess Luna. Ha, look at those pity points roll in. Only to be ruined by the Rainbow mare.

"This guy is full of hay. When he talked to me he said his name was V. Now he's saying it's this nonsense name too?" I looked to her as she glared at me.

This stopped the pity points, so I let out a long-suffering sigh. "Of course, I can see I'll need some proof." I reached into the rear pocket of my loaned clothes and pulled out my wallet. I dug around in it for a second before pulling out a credit card. It wasn't any photo ID, but I was wearing the mask for a reason." I know it has no photo, but it is a form of identification where I come from."

The princess grabbed at the ID and looked it over. "Indeed. Besides, I doubt one such as you would keep a photo on you. I am innately aware of how looking in a mirror can cause pain." She passed the card to Twilight who let out a small gasp, but Luna ignored it. "But that raises another question, why would you introduce yourself as this V character."

I laughed, before waving my hand. "A moment of whimsy. That mare asked who I was, and it matched perfectly with a scene from my favorite-" I paused, did they even have movies here? I decided to play it safe. "Book. The Protagonist used a whole intro and she allowed me to follow it perfectly."

Twilight interrupted all this. Flying into my face. "Peter, why is your weird card in the language of ancients? There hasn't been a country to use such an ancient language in over a thousand years."

I froze. Ah shit, I forgot that English wasn't a common language here. Well, I'm fucked. "I cannot answer that. It is the tongue of my home, thus it is there. It is one of three languages I know, and I must admit, your library was almost entirely unfamiliar."

The rainbow mare swooped in on this. "Come on, I can't be the only one that thinks this is super suspicious. This dude just walks out of nowhere and reads some egghead words like its nothing. This dude's shadier than that Trixie chick."

Luna nodded. "You are not wrong Rainbow Dash. But I fell as if he is safe, for the time being. But I will take one precaution." I raised an eyebrow as she looked into my mask's eyes. "If you wish to stay with our young princess I will draft you into her guard. You will provide protection for her under pain of death. I will put a spell upon you that will fade in three months. That is the price of her kindness."

I shrugged. I was a master of the social arts. "I have done less worthy tasks. I accept."

Twilight stared at Luna with something akin to horror as her horn glowed, surrounding me. When it faded Rainbow Dash looked less than happy, and Twilight looked like Luna had just burned her name into my scalp. I, however, felt great. My body felt awake, and all the aches and pains of the last day seemed to fade away. Luna stared at me. "The spell will kill you if Twilight Sparkle is slain. Know this and keep her under your vigil. We will arrange a payment to be delivered to you on a weekly basis."

I stared in confusion. "Uh, did I just get a job, your highness. Because normally there's at least an interview or something."

Luna scoffed at me. "Ha, do you believe me so out of practice that I can't see a fighter when they stand in front of me. Nay, you will be adept at this task, just keep Twilight safe and my decision will be justified."

I nodded. I had met people like this multiple times. People that could mark a soldier from a glance. I just shrugged it off. "Very well, I shall do this to the best of my ability. But, try not to send something silly, like a team of assassins to prove myself or something stupid like that."

I saw a dangerous glint in Luna's eyes. "Of course. The princesses of this land are the best of friends, but do keep an eye out." I paused as she shifted into shadow and could only think one thing. 'What the hell did I get myself into?'