Come and Catch Me

Twilight is crazy. I feel as if I shouldn't say that about a princess, but it's still true. As soon as Luna left I was shoved through the door and poked with magic for what felt like years. Apparently, Princess Luna had used some dark spell that was forbidden for about five hundred years. Of course, I didn't care about that, I cared about what it was. A cage. Or maybe a chain. Either way it was something that was impeding my freedom to do as I pleased, and as such, was something to be rid of as quickly as possible. Sadly the easiest way to do that was to play along. After the magical decathlon Twilight ran through trying to disenchant me anyways.

"Maybe if I try to route the spell away from his heart and-" I raised a hand in front of Twilight's face, stopping her thoughts as they formed. We had moved to the library, where I was reclining on a couch as Twilight assaulted my person with enough purple pixie dust to make me feel like a Disney reject.

I stretched as I glanced out the darkening window. "I believe that we have reached a late hour Twilight. Perhaps it would be best for me to do a quick sweep and then for us to retire. I am fairly sure you'll make it through the night." She looked at me as if I was crazy before a soft snore jarred her out of her indignation. Tucker had taken the calm moment to fall asleep by my feet and was snoring away.

I began to pet his neck as Twilight sighed. "Of course, you're right." She paused. "But why would you need to sweep, Spike normally handles the cleaning."

I chuckled as I stood. "I didn't mean that kind of sweep, show me around the castle and I'll be happy." She nodded as she began to awkwardly lead me around her castle. She showed me kitchens fit to cook for hundreds, stocked with a week's groceries for two. I saw full guard barracks, with only dusty boxes being present. I paused at the alchemy table as she continued on. The labels were all in English, and in a fit of whimsy, I grabbed one. Nightshade. I pocketed it as I walked forward, you never knew when you might want a good poison. I caught up quickly as we finished the tour, ending it outside Twilights room. She gestured to it. "And I think that's it, feel free to grab a guest room for your own. I think I'm going to listen to you and go to bed."

I nodded before gesturing towards the door. "Of course Twilight, but may I make sure the room is safe? I wish to know of any balconies or the like I'll need to be aware of."

She seemed nervous at the thought but nodded. "S-sure, just don't laugh or anything." I nodded as she opened the door. I looked on at the wet dream of every literophile into an orgasmic shudder. Bookshelves lined the walls, with no space taken up by windows or skylights. Just bookshelves and a lone desk filling the whole room. I glanced at the large bed which was clean and made, while the free areas on the floor were filled with various chairs, including one recliner, and a beanbag chair.

I stared for a moment. "This is a secure enough room." I carefully avoided mentioning that the girl obviously had a completely unhealthy love of all things written. "I shall make me a batch of tea and guard the room tonight. Sleep well Twilight."

She nodded and gave me a shy wave as I turned. "You too Peter." I heard her smack her forehead as she walked into her room, but ignored it as I whistled into the castle. It took only a moment before I heard the skitter of claws across a crystal floor. Tucker skidded to a stop in front of me, wide-eyed and grinning. I pointed towards the door to Twilight's room. "Watch." He let out a happy bark and sat down by the doorframe, nose taking in deep breathes every few seconds. I turned and walked to the large kitchen smiling as I hummed down the hall.

Brewing tea is boring, but I enjoyed the monotony as I scrounged through the kitchen for a comfy chair and a small table. When the tea reached a whistle I threw in a loose collection of leaves from the pot that looked vaguely like it held tea leaves, into the pot as I removed it from the small oven I had liberated for my holy cause. Tea is serious business. Or, at least caffeine is. I placed a couple plates on the table along with a small cup. I picked up the table with one hand, holding it like a waiters tray. With my free hand, I hauled up the chair and walked back to Twilight's bedroom.

I found Tucker sitting in full sentry mode at the doorframe. He looked like a brown dog statue until he looked to me and his face fell into a wide grin. I smiled at him. "Release boy. Go ahead and nap, or whatever it is you decide to do." He happily sniffed at my loot before moving back to his post and sat back down, scratching his ear. I sighed as I sat down my gains and poured myself a glass of tea. I moved the mask from it's place on my face to the side of my head before I took a happy sip while looking down the halls. With them mercifully bare I leaned my chair back and enjoyed the quiet. Some things never change, and guard duty was definitely one of them.

I had sat calmly for an hour, thinking up impossible situations to kill time as I watched the lone window in my area. I could see the moon making it's slow journey until I heard the soft hoofsteps of a pony walking down the hall. I moved my mask from the side of my head where it had been resting to cover my fave. That done, I looked towards it until I saw a pony of pure white walking down the hall. She had wings sprouting from her back and a pink mane that was swept over one eye. She paused upon seeing me which made me smile under my mask. I waved to her and gestured towards the tea. She walked up at a sedate pace, her face not betraying a hint of her thoughts. As she approached I shrugged my shoulders. "I apologize for lacking a cup for you, but I had not expected a guest at this hour. May I ask your business in the home of Princess Twilight? It is far too late at night to seek counsel if that is your desire."

The pony paused before shaking her head. "No, my sister just mentioned she had heard Twilight got a guard. Since I was free tonight I was hoping to ask how she found it."

I shrugged. "I would not know, but it is not my duty to be liked. If you would excuse me a moment." I tapped Tucker with a foot, causing him to rise with an annoyed huff. He looked over the pony as she stared at him, before walking up and sniffing her a few times. I held my breath as he stared at her, reaching a hand into my pocket and grasping my knife. After a silent moment, he let out a happy bark and gave her a big doggy grin. I instantly relaxed and relinquished my knife. "Tucker here says you're of an alright sort. Since that is the case I won't be forced to eject you. I am Peter, the Princesses new guard."

She stared at me for a moment before nodding. "I gathered as such. I am Sunny Smiles, a friend of Twilight. I was really hoping to speak with her if you don't mind."

I gave her the shrug every cop learns. It's a nice mix of apology and annoyance. "No can do, can't let every pretty girl that walks by seeing her. If you can get her to pass the word that you're allowed through later I could make an exception. But as of now, you're SOL. However, you're more than free to scavenge a chair from the guest room and sit here until morning."

She stared at me with a small measure of confusion in her face. Finally, she nodded. "I believe I shall." she walked out of my sight as I poured myself a glass of now cold tea. Cold caffeine was still good, even if it should have been drunk hot. I then remembered my mask and let out a silent curse. No tea until my newest guest left. It only took a few minutes before I heard the soft hoofsteps of Sunny reaching my little checkpoint. She set up her chair and had her own teacup. She gave me a questioning look. I lifted the teapot and poured her a glass. She sat back in a prim and proper fashion before speaking again. "So, why did you decide to become Twilight's guard?"

I shrugged. "Because it was the best option available ma'am. Besides, I've done my fair share of guard jobs in my day." I looked at my useless tea and let out an annoyed sigh. "Besides it puts cash in my pocket, no reason to say no."

Sunny gave me an odd look. "So money is the only reason you guard your princess? Not honor or duty?"

I laughed, which seemed to offend the old mare. I tried to raise a calming hand. "Honor? Bah, honor is only good for the dead. And I have no duty to this kingdom. No, I do this because I said I would. If a man is not tied to his word he is worth less than spit." I gestured to Tucker. "Besides, Tucker likes her, and he's smarter than me. If he said she's fine then she's fine." I patted the sitting dog who seemed to be trying to go into a cute overload to get a pat from Sunny.

She looked at him with a distant gleam in her eye before nodding. "That seems fair, I have known that some creatures are more adept at sensing a ponies true nature than anypony else." She crossed her legs and rubbed the top of Tucker's head. He instantly rolled over to his belly, a pleading look in his eyes. I rolled mine in response before giving him a belly rub. Sunny saw this and smiled. "I'll admit, you are not what I expected from your description. The way you were talked about I expected you to be some calm warrior who never spoke. Instead, I found a calm young stallion who seems to leave the decisions to his dog."

I flinched under my mask. I instantly changed Sunny from a kind young mare who seemed to ignore business hours to a simpler mental title. Bitch. "No, I have fought enough in my days, but I trust those who have earned it. Tucker has, and no one else." I took another sip of my tea. "And what of you. You seem to be intruding on castle grounds late at night, trying to access an area that is closed to the public. Honestly, if Tucker hadn't given you his seal there was a chance you wouldn't have left this castle."

She smiled slightly. "You think you could just throw me in the dungeons until Twilight awoke?"

I shrugged. "I guess, though I'm unsure why I would store a corpse in the dungeon." That got a reaction. Her glass wavered slightly as I idly tapped the table. "Of course, I am unsure of the customs here, but possible assassins are normally treated as such where I come from. Mayhaps Twilight would raise some concerns when she awoke, but I would accept them as a part of the job."

Sunny let out a slow breath. "So you would kill on the word of your dog? Is that not a bit extreme? You could just ask ponies to leave?"

I shrugged again. "Then I would have to escort them. I have what some have called a criminal mind, and if I were on the assassination team I would send a second pony after the first. Then as the first was escorted out the second would only have a door to deal with over a guard. Plus attempts normally die down after the first one disappears without a trace."

Sunny stared at me as though I slapped her. Her cup was frozen in her hands. "You would be so reckless with somepony's life? To use them to prove a point?"

I smiled under my mask and tapped the hollow muzzle. Sunny flinched at the small echo. "Not everypony has a peace and love mindset. When the chips are down and metal meets flesh, me and mine come first." I glanced out the window, the moon resting at the top of the sky. "And the world will burn before I break my word."

Sunny stared at me in consternation. "You are out of place here. If this were the old days you would be a soldier of high regard, but how does one like you exist in these times? There isn't a land in all of Equestria with the outright violence you seem to exist in. How does a stallion go through his life with ideals so clashing with the world?"

I tapped the teacup. "Maybe the world is less peaceful than you think. But you will only have to wonder for a short time. In three months I will be free again, and I will continue on my path home." Sunny seemed to grow silent so I leaned back. It had been a while. I tapped Tucker on the leg. He looked to me as I gestured to the opposite side of the door. "Watch." He moved over to it as I leaned the chair back. Sunny stared at Tucker as he moved to his spot and sat down. I leaned my head forward and gestured towards Sunny. "I wouldn't suggest trying to go into that room while I nap, Tucker is a might bit vicious when he has a mind." I slowly dozed off as I felt the eyes of the pony on my mask.