My name is Timber Frost. I’m a Junior Expeditionary with the First Equestrian Geological Expeditionary Division. Affectionately called, the FEGED. It sounds stupid, right? Yeah, I know. I didn’t come up with it, somepony else did. Anyway, that’s not important. On a dig in the eastern most section of Ghastly Gorge, my team and I stumbled across a cavern. It had looked like a cavern anyway. Upon further exploration, we’d discovered hieroglyphs. Nopony else could read them, so who do they call? Oh yeah, me. The Junior Expeditionary. Who had been stupid enough to take two years of Ancient Equestrian Languages.

So I went down into the crypt, as we were now calling it, to read them. “Read them out loud Timber” I can almost hear you all screaming. Well, I will not, as just reading them in my head caused this mess. Either way, I read them in my head, my brain doing the translating. Suddenly, I found myself in a whirl of magic. Did I mention I’m a unicorn? And my magic is the same color as my eyes, a vibrant blue that is almost silver? No? Well, now I did. This magic that was swirling around me was green. Well, greenish-blue, but green more than blue. Sort of like that nasty mossy stuff that floats on the water in swamps and bogs. You all know what I mean.

Well, this green magic was swirling around me and apparently it was causing havoc with the line I was attached to because suddenly I felt myself being pulled up, quickly. Why felt, you ask? Because I couldn’t see shit. Remember, mossy green magic all around me? A second before I would have exited the crypt, my head hit something, thank Celestia for hard hats, and I blacked out. This is where things get weird. And I mean freaky weird.

I woke up in a hospital bed. I’d thought it had only been a couple of days. Boy was I wrong. Looking at the calendar, it had been three months. I’d missed not just my twentieth birthday, but I’d missed my mother’s forty-third. Yeah, she’d had me when she was twenty-three, so what? The first thing I did, naturally, was get out of bed, expecting to be the same height I’d been when I’d gone into the crypt. My hooves hit the ground... and I slipped and fell flat on my muzzle. Boy did that hurt.

Standing up, I wobbled over to the sink and looked at the mirror. “Well, aren’t you a pretty mare?” I thought about the mare staring back at me. Turning my head, I blinked as she did the same, also blinking. Turning back, she mirrored my movement. So... experiment time. Open my mouth. She opens her mouth. Stick out my tongue. She sticks out her tongue. Duck down... I assume she ducked down, I couldn’t see the mirror anymore. Jump back up making the scariest face I could, she does the same. Hearing the door open, I turned around and saw my Fore-pony.

“Hey boss, c...” I froze. That wasn’t my voice, was it? Did something happen to my throat? I sounded... cute. I don’t sound cute. I sound like somepony who could be heard over the roar of a drill.

“Hey... uh... Frost. Ya might wanna sit down for this.” He said and I stared at him as I walked over to the couch. Glancing out the corner of my eye the mare in the mirror was doing the same thing. Nice flank.

“What’s up boss?” I asked, my voice still squeaking.

“Well... I’ve got some good news... and some bad news. What do ya want first?” He asked and I pondered it for a moment. Good news first to make me feel better, then bad news to kill my hopes and dreams? Or bad news first to make me feel like crap, and then good news to make me all happy again?

“Bad news first.” I said and he nodded.

“Well, the bad news is... I gotta let ya go.” He said and I blinked then laughed.

“Ok boss. Nice joke. What’s the real bad news?”

“That is the bad news Frost. Yer fired.” He said and my smile disappeared.

“But... why? Did I do something? Did I drop an artifact? I promise I’ll make it up to you somehow.” I said and he sighed.

“Frost, listen to yerself.”

“I know I’m begging but...”

“No, I mean really listen to yerself. Do ya sound like the stallion ya used t’ be?” He asked and I blinked. Damn my eyes are gonna be moisturized by the end of all this blinkin’.

“What do you mean used to be?” I asked and he pointed at the mirror. I looked over and saw that same gorgeous mare looking back at me. “Yeah, I know, she’s...” She was talking at the same time I was.

“She’s you, kiddo.” He said and I froze. I felt my blood go cold. I’d died. That had to be the only explanation. I had died and they’d put my brain in the body of a dying mare to save both of our lives.

“No wait. She can’t be. A perfect donor for something like this is impossible. Even if the blood-types were right, there’s no way she’d be a unicorn too. Let alone a unicorn that looks exactly like me.” I said and he sighed.

“Frost, listen t’ yerself kid. Ya sound like a girl, ya look like a girl. Do ya even have a dick anymore?” He asked and I turned to glare at him.

“Of course I do. I’m a stallion.” I said and he shook his head.

“Check again Frost.” He said and I glared harder, as if the sheer magnitude of my glare could make him stop joking with me.

“Fine. And when I see that I have a dick, I’m gonna shove it in your face and flaunt...” I froze as I looked. My dick was gone. I didn’t have a penis. I didn’t even have any balls. Any stallion in this situation would have been freaking out so hard they were hyper ventilating, steaming up the room, and in need of being knocked out. So what did I do? I screamed. Loud, long, and shrill enough to crack the windows. The boss rubbed his ears when I’d finished and looked at me.

I was in panic mode. My breathing was rapid and shallow, my heart was hammering in my chest, my pupils were dilated, and I was shaking. I think the only reason I was still standing is because I had all four hooves planted firmly on the floor. The door opened and two doctors walked in.

“Is she ok?” One of them asked and my boss nodded.

“Yeh, jus’ give ‘er time.” He said.

“I am not a she. I’m not a her...” I thought. Once I’d finally gathered my thoughts, I looked up just a little. “Good news now...” I muttered and everyone stopped moving.

“What’s that kid?” the boss asked and I turned my eyes on him.

“Good news. Now.” I said and he blinked.

“Well, th’ good news is... Princess Celestia’s found ya a new job. In the castle.” He said and I stared at him. “Uh... Frost...” He started and one of the doctors held up a hoof, as if consoling me. I didn’t even realize it until I was actually crying, but I’d started crying. I didn’t want to work with the Princess. I was a part of the expedition team. I was part of these guys. They were my family. You don’t abandon family. “Don’t do that kiddo. It’s great news. Yer food and bed are covered by the castle, and ya get to be near Celestia all the time. And all them artifacts in the castle itself. Any archaeologist’s dream.” He said and I looked up at him, my tears flowing freely. Do mares seriously cry this easily?

“I don’t want to work with the Princess.... I wanna be part of the team... you guys are my family...” I cried and he just stared at me.

“I’m sorry Frost...” He said as he turned and walked out of the room.

Two months later, I stared at the wall across from me. I hadn’t left the hospital still. I ate, I drank, I pissed, I showered, I even took shits from time to time, but I didn’t leave. Medically, I was fine. Physically, at least according to the doctors, I was fine. Mentally... I was destroyed. My boss, Brick Mortar, had been like my father. Yeah, I knew my father, he and mom had been to visit, playing it off like it was no big deal that their son was now their daughter. But Brick, he’d practically raised me. The second my cutie mark had appeared, which hadn’t really changed by the way, he’d taken me under his wing and taught me everything there was about expedition. Hearing him say that I couldn’t be part of the team, part of the family anymore, had destroyed me.

Then Celestia came in. Princess Celestia herself. She’d come in, royal regalia forgotten, wearing a medical coat, a stethoscope, and one of those funny headbands with the mirrors some doctors wear. I hadn’t had a chance to ask what was going on when her magic opened my mouth and she peered inside. I froze. Sort of. She was doing the doctor thing. Checking my mouth, checking my pulse, checking my reflexes. When she was done, she sat back and stared at me. “You seem fine. So what seems to be the problem?” She asked and I blinked. She was acting, entirely, like a doctor.

“What’s the problem? I’m a stallion.” I said and she nodded.

“Yes, so I’ve heard. I have seen magic like this before.” She said and I looked up at her, a hopeful smile on my face. “There is no undoing it.” Hopes crushed, smile gone, dreams of fathering a family dashed. “I’m sorry to say, but you are a mare now. And you’re physically healthy, if a little malnourished because you aren’t eating properly.” She said and I stared at her, tears in my eyes. Then I asked the question that had been burning in my mind.

“Do mares always cry this much?” I asked as the tears started flowing and she nodded slowly.

“Yes, we do. Mares are a lot more emotional than stallions. I personally think it’s because stallions see themselves as needing to be strong, tough, unflinching. Be walls for us mares. We can’t see them cry or they’d be considered weak.”

“So... what do I do... to stop crying...?” I asked, sniffling.

“You cry. You let it out, and if you have a stallion by your side, you let him hold you while you cry. It’s not so hard being a mare, Timber. It is tough at times, yes. Estrus is a bitch.” She said and I blushed, still sniffling. A Princess, the Princess, had sworn. “Giving birth is hell. But it’s all worth it. Mares with your looks are lucky, Timber. You’re a gorgeous mare. You were a gorgeous stallion. Any mare would have been lucky to have you at their side, any stallion would be lucky to have you on their hoof. If that’s your preference.”

“What do you mean?” I asked and she smiled.

“Timber, you don’t have to be the typical family. Stallion, mare and babies. You can love whomever you want. If you find yourself still attracted to mares, by all means, be with a mare. There is no law saying you can’t be.” She said and I sniffed.

“What about work? I love those guys like my brothers...” I said and she sighed.

“I know you do Timber. I will... talk to Brick. He may not be able to get you your job back, but there’s no reason they can’t still be your surrogate family.” She said and I nodded.

“If that’s the best you can do...”

“It’s not really the best I can do. I could tell Brick to give you your job back, but it wasn’t an order from him alone. His bosses don’t want a mare working for them. I have seen their regulations and reasons why. Too much risk of the mare getting injured on the job. Too much risk of the mare becoming a distraction during estrus. Too much risk of the mare becoming unable to perform her basic duties.” She said and I sighed. “The list goes on and on. I wish I could order Brick to give you your old job back. The most I can do is station you at a museum. There’s no guarantee you’ll see Brick or the others again, but at least you’ll be doing what you love.” She said and I nodded.

“Thank you Princess.”

“You’re welcome Timber. Now, I’m going to leave your sign out forms here for you to sign at your own discretion. I’m not ordering you to come with me, nor am I ordering you to leave the hospital. When you’re ready, sign them and the head physician will contact me.” She said, setting my forms on the bedside table before standing up and walking out of the room. I waited until she was gone before exploding.

You know how they say “life finds a way”? Well, it does. A month later, I’m out of the hospital. I hadn’t taken Celestia up on her offer. Yet. But I’d been considering it. My first stop, Ponyville. I’d always wanted to go. The Crystal Caves, Ghastly Gorge, even the Everfree Forest with the Castle of the Two Sisters. An Archaeologists dream. The train arrived in Ponyville from Manehatten and I stepped off. Into what any less sane pony would call hell. Magical energy beams were flying everywhere, monsters were roaring, even trees, living trees, were attacking... whatever it was. Walking over to the largest crowd, I slipped in next to a mint colored mare with a beautiful white and blue mane.

“What’s going on?” I asked and she scoffed.

“You must be new here. Welcome to Ponyville, where the whacky always happens.” She said as she turned to me. “I’m Lyra. This is my friend... OW! Marefriend... Bonbon.” She said as a mare with a dark blue and pink mane stepped on her hoof. Bonbon waved at me and I waved back before turning my attention back to what was happening. I’d seen some crazy things in my time as an archaeologist, but this took the cake. Litterally, as a pink cake, complete with white frosting swirls and burning candles, splattered on the... thing’s face. I say thing because I honestly didn’t know what it was.

The thing roared and the pink pony who’d thrown the cake took off. I suppose it would be more accurate to say she was there one second and not there the next. Hearing a bang from overhead, I looked up. And froze. A mare was rocketing from the sky, four contrails of smoke behind her, the air itself warping around her. I was about to see something I’d heard Brick and the guys talking about before. Seconds before she would have collided with the thing, she pulled up, the Sonic Rainboom blowing the thing into the building behind it, the four contrails of smoke spiraling straight at it and slamming into its chest before peeling off.

My jaw dropped at the display. I’d just witnessed, first hoof, a Sonic Rainboom. And the Wonderbolts. Woohoo. Yay. But a Sonic Rainboom. I’d heard stories about them, and heard that a filly had done one when she was, well, a filly, but to actually see one was a different story. Looking back at the thing they’d attacked, I shivered. It was standing up. Four Wonderbolts, who had been riding the slip stream behind the fifth Wonderbolt who had produced the Sonic Rainboom, had slammed into it at sonic speeds and it was still getting up. Then the beam of magic hit it. Bright purple magic. From the horn of an Alicorn. Princess Twilight Sparkle.

“Now Shadow!” She shouted and a blur of black leapt over her back, raced at the thing, picked up speed, and burst through it. Not into it. Through it. As in it hit the front and came out the back. I blinked as the thing it hit cracked, turned almost black, and crumbled into ash, the ashes seeming to sink into the dirt. “Excellent work Shadmph.” She said, stopping as the blur swept her up and kissed her. When they broke apart, I gasped. He was a wolf. A jet black wolf. With wings.

“Not so bad yourself, Sparkle.” He said and she laughed and pulled away.

“It was your magic that stunned it.”

“And your magic that sent it back. It’s more your win than mine.” She said and he smiled and kissed her again. Was I supposed to be seeing this? A wolf kissing a princess?

“Alright everypony, I think we’ve all seen enough.” A mare said as she ushered everyone away. “Let Princess Twilight and her friends handle the rest of this. Everypony else get back to your homes and lock the doors.” She said.

“Um... excuse me, I... don’t have a home.” I said and she gasped.

“My dear, are you homeless?” She asked and I waved a hoof.

“Nonono, that’s not what I mean. I’m new here.” I said and she sighed.

“Oh, what a relief. Welcome to Ponyville. I’m...”

“Mayor, look out!” The wolf shouted as he leapt over our heads, colliding with something big. His momentum stopped it from coming at us, but rather than tumbling away, they just slammed to the ground behind me. Shadow and the thing tumbled around us until it, whatever it was, kicked him off and scrambled to its paws. You know those old magi-flicks you see of badgers? Some of them are laying on their backs and then suddenly they look like very angry balls of murder. That’s what this thing looked like. “Introductions later, evacuate now.” He said as the thing lunged at him. I watched and made the mistake of blinking. One second they were right there, the next they were twenty feet up and falling fast, the badger thingy on the bottom.

Coming right at us. The Mayor and I bolted in opposite directions, Shadow and the Badger slamming into the ground hard enough to crater the spot we’d just been standing in. I watched as it turned to ash and blew away on the breeze, just like the other thing. “Ok. Into the Mayor’s office. You want introductions, do ‘em in there.” He said before racing off and skidding to a stop at Twilight’s side, catching a bear looking things paw in his jaws and throwing it at a building, which it bounced off of. Not waiting for another prompting, the Mayor and I raced for her office building.

“So... welcome to... Ponyville... friendliest... town in... Equestria.” She panted and I looked up at her.

“That... was friendly...?” I asked and she smiled.

“Well... today is... a special case.” She said as she sucked in a lungful and led me to her desk. “So, what’s your name and how long are you planning on staying?” She asked and I looked around the room.

“Well, my name is Timber Frost. I don’t know how long I’ll be staying in Ponyville.” I said and she nodded and wrote my name down on a piece of paper. I heard the door open behind us and a mare with a disheveled black mane walked in, fixed her mane as best she could and walked over. Looking at my “paperwork” for a moment, she turned to me, her horn lit, I saw a flash, and suddenly there was a picture of me on the paperwork.

“There. Honorary resident of Ponyville. I’m not sure where we can put you up until you move on, but with this you should be able to find work in town.” She said and I blinked.

“Um... thank you...” I said and she nodded, jumping when a horrendous boom sounded outside. I peeked out the window and blinked. Magic residue was everywhere. I’d heard of spells packing enough punch to produce magic residue, but this was crazy. If you don’t know what magic residue, it’s basically stray bits of magic, looking like fire or steam, floating up off of the ground. It usually took a few minutes to vanish if there was a talented unicorn around.

Luckily, we had Princess Twilight there to suck it all up. Right? So totally wrong. It wasn’t going to the Princess. It was going to her wolfish guardian. “So, how are actual trees fighting it?” I asked and the Mayor smiled.

“His magic. He can bring inanimate objects to life. See those scratches. That’s what caused it.” She said, pointing at scratches near the base of the tree. Looking at them, somehow I could see the magic flowing from the scratches through the sappy veins of the trees. When one tree was blown apart by impact from the bear thing, another tree came to life. As if the magic itself was jumping from tree to tree. Slight explanation here, despite being born a unicorn, I couldn’t see magic unless it was either my own or another Unicorn casting a spell during the casting. I could see their horn glowing, see the object their magic was wrapped around, see what it was causing, but I couldn’t see any other magic.

“This thing is tough...” I heard in my head and looked around. I didn’t recognize the voice at all. It wasn’t mine, it wasn’t Brick or any of my old team. “I wonder if that cute new mare will go to dinner with me.” The voice said again and I looked out the window to spot Rainbow Dash staring at me. She blushed and looked away quickly, narrowly dodging what looked like a stinger. “Did anypony else here that?” I asked myself as I watched them fight it.

“Alright, I’ve had just about enough of this...” Shadow said before racing at the, now manticore, grabbing its head, forcing it to the ground, where it roared up at him, only to get a face full of... fire? Wait, he’s a wolf, not a pony, and he can fly and do magic and breath fire? Everypony cheered as his fire streamed down the throat of the beast and I watched as its body became a charred smoking mess before it crumbled away to dust. “What the buck is he?” I asked myself as I was pulled along by the tide of ponies going out to congratulate their heroes. I just stared dumbly at them.

It wasn’t too long before the crowd started to die down, going back about their business. About then, I noticed I was still clutching my Ponyville residency sheet. Which Pinkie Pie stamped with the Mayor’s seal. I’d signed it. The stamp made it official. I was a resident of Ponyville. Hurray? You have no idea how much hurray. This is just the beginning. First a stallion on a dig for a, possibly, magical artifact. Now a mare living in Ponyville, the friendship capital of Equestria. Things couldn’t possibly get any worse. Boy was I wrong.

Author's Note

Yay. New story. With a mare protagonist. Woot. Also, don't ask about the artifact that changed poor Timber into a mare, because you'll find out next chapter.