Respawn?

[P.O.V. William]

After James was knocked out by the sheer magnitude of Celestia’s buxom bosom, I turned to Luna, asking, “So, what about these robes I’m wearing? If I were to hazard a guess, I’d say that they were some kind of battle mage robes, considering that the room they were in had six spellbooks and this staff.” I tapped the staff against the floor for emphasis, chuckling slightly as I looked at James.

“Those robes belonged to Grogar, a necromancer of old who was rather well known for his prowess in the necromantic arts. That specific set was the one that he wore into battle, with defensive enchantments woven into the armor and cloth. Please don’t tell us you read the books in the room. They are renown for taking over minds and making the individual act on the author’s whims.” Luna said, with concern in her voice over the books.

“Heh, well, you see, we did kinda read those books, so now we both know necromancy, along with various other dark arts.” I chuckled. With a flash of light we found ourselves in what seemed to be a hospital, if the beds, curtains, and medical equipment were anything to go by. Taking a look outside one of the nearby windows, I noticed that we were back in the city that we had first arrived in, probably in the palace going off of the direction we were facing, with me recognizing the large statue that we had been impaled on when we arrived. I noticed Celestia levitating James into some sort of machine which seemed to be an MRI or something similar, and just watched.

Soon enough James was out of the machine, and placed on a nearby bed, with his armor sitting next to him. “William, if you would kindly take off your robes and lay down on this bed?” Celestia asked, looking at me. I shrugged, thinking to myself, ‘Fuck it, why not. Not like I can die anyhow.’ I stripped down to my underwear, and proceeded to lay down on the bed. It slid into the machine, and unlike any MRI I know of, didn’t cause any amount of discomfort. The energy current that I felt running through my body felt slightly disrupted, though it wasn’t uncomfortable.

After about a minute of laying there, waiting for the machine to finish its thing, it finished with a soft *beep*, with the bed I was lying on sliding back out. I got up, stretching slightly, before walking over to my dropped clothing, and putting them back on. While I was doing this, Celestia, Luna, and the doctor that had been operating the machine, who I had somehow failed to notice up until this point, were discussing something very heatedly, occasionally pointing at either me or James before gesturing wildly.

I sidled over to the group, just in time to hear the doctor whisper shout, “The two of them are as magically powerful as Princess Cadance, if not more so!” I tapped him on the shoulder, at which he jumped nearly a foot off the ground. He looked at me and screamed, fainting on the spot. Celestia shook her head, chuckling slightly at the sight, before levitating him into the bed next to James’.

“So, what is this I hear about being as powerful as a Princess, along with there being another Princess?” I asked, now curious as to who this other Princess was.

Luna looked at Celestia, who nodded, and sighed. “Your pure magical power at the moment is at about the level of our niece, Cadance, who’s magic is at about a tenth of ours. With training, you could possibly get your magic levels to a fifth of ours, but if you were wearing the demon heart pendant, you would likely be just below us, if not equal. However, all of your magic is of the dark variety, making you incapable of using pure magic.” She paused, and seemed to think about something, before continuing, “This doesn’t mean that you can’t do the typical spells, it just means that you won’t be able to use solar and lunar based magic, or harmonious magic. Also, your bodies and minds seem to be immune to dark magic corruption and influence, which is quite rare in our world.”

I shrugged, “So, if we’re immune to dark magic, and it is considered a taboo here, what should we do for a living? I’m sure we could just mooch off of you two indefinitely, but that doesn’t sit right with me. So, you got any jobs that you would need two very powerful, very immortal beings to do for you?”

Celestia pulled Luna further down the hall, and seemed to be discussing something with her for about five minutes before coming back, with a grin on her face. “We have the perfect job for you two, though it will involve getting a tattoo. We would like you to become Agents for the crown, with commission based pay. For each mission you complete, you will be paid the appropriate amount, and it will give you the same or higher access to classified intel as a Captain of the royal guard would have.”

When Celestia paused, Luna cut in, “You will also have the ability to form a squad that will accompany you for these missions, though the pool for other squad members will have to be from other Agents. You will be based out of Ponyville, and will receive an enchantment that allows us to locate you and send and receive letters. You will also have access to our information network, to use as you see fit for your various missions.”

I nodded, thinking over the deal. “I accept, though you’ll have to wait until James wakes up to ask him. Is there anything special we need to do, or was that it? Other than the tattoo, of course.”

Celestia nodded at Luna, who said, “The only thing left before getting the tattoo is for you to choose the sister you would rather serve directly under.”

I grinned, bowing deeply at Luna, “Why, my lady, if the choice was ever in question, I have been remiss in making my intentions clear!” She blushed slightly, and nodded. We left to go get my tattoo, leaving Celestia with James. We got to the tattoo parlor, where I got a tattoo of Luna’s cutie mark with a special ink that responded to a magical frequency emitted by an enchanted crystal. I stripped down and snapped my neck, to check if the tat would remain on respawn, which it did. Sadly, I’m around ninety percent sure I traumatized the poor mare who gave me the tattoo.

We went back to the infirmary, which was conspicuously empty, before heading to Luna’s room to talk for the rest of the night. Ever since I read the necromancy book, I haven’t been tired, so we talked for most of the remaining night. We mainly talked about what I would be doing as an Agent, and I was given a crash course in this world’s geography, along with the locations of various cities and towns in Equestria.

About an hour before dawn, I used my newfound authority to take a look at the archives, mainly looking for useful spell books, since it seemed that I was to be the caster of our group. I took a book on advanced teleportation, a book on reversible petrification, and umbramancy to start with, and sat down to read them. After about two hours of reading, and another hour of practice, I had a good grasp of teleportation, and moved on to petrification, which was much simpler, and could be used on inanimate objects.

After an hour of figuring out how to use it efficiently, I moved on to umbramancy. Unlike the other two, this seemed to be an entire branch of magic, and it took me four hours to get through the entire book. After another three hours, I had figured out most of the spells in the book, save for shadow walking. I had trouble bringing all of my stuff with me when I was shadow walking, normally leaving behind anything made of metal. The shadow cloak seemed like it would be very useful, especially at night, since it muffled all sounds underneath it to one tenth their previous level, and made anything under it much harder to see, even in daylight.

[P.O.V. James]

I looked to Celestia, who cracked up laughing as she looked to me, “Oh, you should of seen your face!”

I frowned, “My jimmies hath been rustled, RUSTLED I SAY!” I then rose from the bed and promptly ripped the blankets off of the bed. “Now fear my vengeance! It is tickle flavored!” Celestia looked to me in confusion before I pounced at her, tickling her without mercy before I was mule kicked into a wall by accident. I promptly respawned by the armor I was to wear, smiling as I put it on.

Celestia seemed to sulk as I had stopped tickling her, “D'aww, is sunbuns sad she doesn’t get more special me time?”

Celly blushed and looked away, “I have no idea what you are talking about, now come on, we have to go and get you a tattoo.”

I raised a brow, “Really? You’re into me getting a tramp stamp?”

She blushed even further, “N-no! You have to get marked as one of my agents so that ponies know to trust you!”

I grinned, “Okay, sweet tits. Let’s go!” We walked down from her room, which was at the top of a GODDAMNED TOWER, heading for the tattoo parlor.

We entered, only to see a mare huddled down in the corner blubbering something, “Stallion that died but didn’t die, he killed himself, but he LIVED!” Celestia heard this, and knelt down next to her, casting a spell that made her fall asleep.

Celestia sighs, “Never thought that those lessons in my teenage years would pay off…”

Oh fuck no, “You know tattoos have changed since then, yeah? Lot different.”

She blushed before casting another spell on the mare, “I’m borrowing her expertise, where do you want my mark?”

I grinned, deciding to get revenge. “On my ass cheeks.”

She sighed. “It has to be somewhere easily visible, with MINIMAL removal of clothes. Your options are the neck or the arms. As much fun as it would be to have you branded as mine, that isn’t the purpose of this.”

I grinned, “Fun, eh? I didn’t know you were a dom, sexy sunbuns~! Maybe we should have some REAL fun later?”

Celestia sighed, putting her face into her hands. She levitated me onto the tattoo table, and I could’ve sworn I heard her mutter, “Later,” but that could have been my imagination. I motioned for her to put it on my right shoulder, and she cast a spell to dull the pain, if the numbness around the area was anything to go off of. Twenty minutes later, and a brand spanking new sun tattoo on my shoulder, we left to go find William and Luna.

I smiled as I nudged Celestia, “So, that Twilight really looks up to ya. Maybe a bit of a teacher crush?”

Celestia looked like she was about to vomit at the thought. “She’s like a daughter to me, I would NEVER think of her in that way!”

I waved my arms placatingly, “Hey, I’m just saying, either she sees you like a mom, and had some crappy real parents, maybe you should offer adoption?”

She just shook her head, “The reason Twilight sees me as a mother figure is because I was basically her mother ever since she was around six years old. I had to take her from her parents because they were incapable of handling her magical outbursts at the time, so I took her on as one of my personal students.” She sighed sadly, then continued, “She regularly visited her family, but her living here at the castle took its toll on her family life, and she started thinking of me as more of a mother than her own was.”

I sighed, “Look, I know parenting isn’t exactly supposed to be my forte, but… be there for her if you can, I know what it’s like to feel… unloved. More than most normal people do. If it’s the paperwork of princessly duties, or some sort of court thing, maybe I can find someone to fill in for you? I want to help.” I then grinned, “I could maybe make you a magical disguise? I am fairly certain I can enchant you a necklace or something.”

She looked hopeful at that, before noticing that we were passing the archives, where William was visible sitting and reading, with a few books stacked on the table next to him. She turned to me, grinning, “Want to scare William?” She asked, casting a spell. She tapped the floor twice with her metal shod hoof, but no sound was heard.

I nodded and let her silence my footsteps as well before walking into the archive, grinning as I came up behind him and said “OH SHIT BETTY’S HERE! RUN FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR BALLS!”

William looked visibly alarmed for a second, and then with a *pop* he was gone. I looked around in confusion, trying to find him.

I rubbed my chin and smiled, “Oh, hey there Luna, What? You wanted to have a wet t-shirt contest with Celestia? Oh, and you wanted William to judge? Well, I don’t know where he went, guess I’ll have to." l just stood there for a moment before shrugging “Guess he left. When did that bastard learn teleportation?”

I then looked to Celestia and frowned “So…. I don’t know where William went, and it looks like there aren’t any interesting books here for me, so…” I smirked “Wanna go prank Luna? I know how to make some strong itching powder, plus stink bombs.”

William poked his head out of Celestia’s shadow, unnoticed by either of us. “So, what’s this I hear about pranking Luna?”

I ran to William and tried to kick him in the face like I was doing a football kick. “Begone foul imposter!” I shouted, but he fell back into the shadow, thus making me pull a Charlie Brown, and landed on my ass.

William popped up fully out of the shadow of the desk he had been sitting at, stretching his arms and back. I noticed a tattoo of Luna’s cutie mark on his right arm, and his back suddenly popped. He sighed in relief, then said aloud, “Well, that was the first time I was able to shadow walk, seems useful for short distances, but god is it cold.” He shivered slightly at the thought, then used telekinesis to pick up the books and reshelved them. His magical aura was a sickly purple, similar to the head of his staff in color, and seemed to be giving off slight flame-like tendrils.

I shrugged, “Well, I have been interested in trying out smithing, that book I read taught me how to do many different kinds of weapon and armor crafting that use the forge. Even something called sagecraft.”

“Nice, could be useful having weapons besides this staff,” William grinned, tapping his staff against the floor once for emphasis. “We should probably be getting back to Ponyville, at least if we don’t have anything to as Agents,” he continued, looking inquisitively at the Princesses. Celestia and Luna looked at each other before nodding once.

“Your first mission as Agents will be given to you later next week, so we’ll send you a notification through your tattoos. They’ll make the area around the tattoo cold or hot, depending on which of us you serve.” Celestia said. Her horn lit up to teleport us, but I started talking before she finished.

“At least it doesn’t vibrate, would be annoying as hell. See ya later, sun buns!” At this William teleported us out, before she could do anything. We appeared in the orchards at Sweet Apple Acres, and we saw Applejack kicking a tree.

“Howdy, how are y’all two doing? Ya had us a mite bit worried, leaving with the Princess chasing you and all.” Applejack shouted over to us, noticing our appearance. I started walking towards her, with William following behind.

I laughed, ”Hey, I just realized, my favorite cereal has the same name as you. Bet you must taste delicious~!”

AJ frowned and looked to William “What the hay is he talking about now? Is he serious?” AJ asked, turning to William for clarification. I frowned in annoyance at my flirting being brushed off so easily, but William spoke up before I could.

“Honestly, I have no idea, though I believe he was referencing the cereal called ‘Applejacks’ where we’re from. Most of the time I try to ignore him, so, yeah,” AJ nodded, seeing the sense in William’s thought process, and I frowned deeper.

I then shrugged, “Guess I’ll go see where Jack went. Probably with Fluttershy, yeah? Mind showing us what way to go?”

Applejack nodded once, and said, “Go out the front gate, and follow the road until you reach the fork in it about halfway between here and Ponyville. Follow the opposite fork, and you’ll get to Fluttershy’s pretty soon. Ya can’t miss it, only house on that road, and it’s surrounded by all sorts of critters.”

One boring ass walk later!

I groaned as we reached Fluttershy’s cottage, and found that animals were indeed surrounding the house. We walked up to the door, and I knocked on the door. I heard Fluttershy’s soft voice call out from inside the house. She walked to the door, brushing some of what appeared to be felt off of her long green skirt.

“Oh, James, William, come in, I was just showing one of my deer friends the animals you found at the castle. He seemed rather concerned about them, but I’m sure it was nothing.” We followed her in, where Jack and Lupis were backed against a wall, growling at a buck that was backed against the opposite wall, with a bright light glowing between his antlers. He was tan in color, wearing a leafy green cloak with assorted plantlife. On his right hip was a silver shortsword, and with my newfound skill in magical smithing, I was able to recognize it as a blessed blade.

Upon noticing us step into the room, the buck leapt towards us, stabbing William in the neck. Blood spurted out of the wound, covering the floor and the rug in front of us, and Lupis tackled the deer in protection of her master. She held him down with her fangs around his neck, fire gently licking out from around the back of her mouth. After about two seconds of bleeding, William finally collapsed to the floor, dead, before another body popped into existence next to the dead one. I noticed that all of his gear that he had been wearing was duplicated, and held the same magical properties that his old set had.

“Dude, what the FUCK was that for?” William shouted into the buck’s face. There was a look of disbelief on the buck’s face, and he sputtered.

Clearing his throat, cautious of the fangs that were pressing gently against his neck, “Wha- HOW?! WHY?! I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!” he shouted with fear etched clearly all over his face.

I looked to the deer in boredom before I casually walked over to him, grabbing his sword and crushing it in my grip. Due to the enhanced strength I had from the fiend heart pendant, along with the dragon armor, I did so effortlessly. I smiled casually, “Now, your magic sword is broken, and I am VERY mad that you hurt my friend. So, tell me, what the fuck made you decide attacking us was in ANY way a good idea?”

“You are beings of dark magic, and the druids of the Everfree are sworn to fight against the corruption that your kind spreads!” The deer was getting a bit frantic, so William gestured for Lupis to bite down a bit harder on his neck. Upon feeling the extra pressure, he flinched slightly, then turned to Fluttershy. “What are you doing, RUN!” he screamed at her. This seemed to snap her out of the ‘deer in headlights’ thing that she had going on, and she seemed to have no idea what was going on.

Upon seeing William’s body lying on the floor, along with the slightly burnt skin around the wound in his neck, she turned a vicious look upon the buck on the floor. “Aedan, these are my GUESTS! You should feel ashamed of yourself for attacking them for no good reason!” At this he looked bashful, and Lupis let him up at William’s command. He stood up, looked between William, his body on the floor, and Fluttershy, and fled out the door, bounding rapidly down the road. After a few seconds, he was out of sight in the forest proper.

I looked to Fluttershy as she huffed angrily, “I’m so sorry about my boyfriend, he’s usually so nice… I guess I didn’t know him well enough…”

I frowned thoughtfully, “Well, he didn’t know that we are immune to dark magic corruption, and it looked like he could see something coming off of us. Maybe he saw the Dark magic covering us and overreacted? I will go and try to reason with him, if he makes you happy, I don’t want to ruin your relationship.”

William shrugged, “If anyone could see dark magic, it would be someone who lived in the forest renowned for being a haven of dark magic. Also, you have blood magic, right James?” I nodded, and he continued, “Then you should probably get my blood out of her carpet, walls and floor, maybe crystallize it or some shit. This shit stains, you know.”

I nodded and absorbed all the blood that was spilled, as well as accidentally dried Williams corpse out like a mummy, before I instinctively clenched my fist and it became a mist that flew into my heart stone at the base of my weapon. I could feel myself grow stronger at this.

William tapped his staff against his now mummified corpse, and a fog of sickly purple rose from the skin, clothing and staff, all floating and coalescing into the crystal on his current staff. As soon as all the magic drained out of the corpse, it dissolved into dust. Fluttershy, in a traumatized daze, got a dustpan out from under her sink and scooped up the dust as William and I headed out to follow the deer.