“I can hardly believe you right now,” Strongwind admonishes as I stumble down the lane. We’re out of the industrial sector, and back among the merchants and crowds. “You’re so worn out that you can hardly walk straight.”

In spite of how tired I feel, I giggle. “Yeah, but look at my prize, guys!” I say, levitating the heavy silver hammer in front of us. Leaning against said bat pony for support, I groan. “And Master Smith’s work was really amazing! I learned a lot from relayering all his enchantments!”

The bat pony rolls her eyes and mutters something about mercenaries. I have a good idea why Strong would dislike the idea of me going merc based on the short discussion he had with the smithy. Evening Script’s a lot harder to peg down. She’s not the type to open up about it easily, either.

With a sigh, I levitate the hammer back into my bag. My entire body is sore, my head especially, I’m tired, and I’m hungry now. It’s pretty amazing that neither of them have noticed that my rucksack, which had been adjusted perfectly for my frame, is now a bit loose. Then again, they aren’t unicorns, so they wouldn’t really know about it.

It’s the hazard of converting what little stored body fat I had into emergency mana to avoid burnout. I’ll be able to make due, but I’m probably gonna catch shit from Twilight later. This kinda thing is super dangerous to do if you don’t have large reserves, so why’d I do it? So I could get a free hammer and a look at some weapon enchantments in action?

Before I know what’s what, I collide with somepony, sending their belongings—and some of mine—spilling to the ground. Moments after, I hit the ground and somepony’s on top of me. I should probably have been paying more attention to where I’m walking and noticed Eve and Strong having stopped, but my reactions are dulled from the long day and the results of my stupidity.

Just as quickly as the mysterious pony is on top of me, they’re off. All I can do is look dazedly up at the pony I bumped into. Tall, slender unicorn mare, sharp features. The only thing that sticks out more than her really sharp horn, the red fur, or the fact that she’s wearing a nondescript cloak is the piercing azure eyes glaring down at me.

“Watch where you’re going, you filthy commo—” Her eyes go wide at the sound of hooves joining us, and she pulls her cloak hood back over her face. “I mean... are you okay?”

Without giving me much of an option, she hauls me brusquely to my hooves and gives me a quick dusting off with her magic. Not the most gentle treatment I’ve ever had, but I’m not about to complain.

“Y-yeah,” I reply, swaying slightly on the spot. “Just a bit dizzy.”

The least I can do, I figure, is to gather up her stuff. So looking to the ground, I quickly levitate everything into stacks and sort by what had come out of my bag, the hammer included, and what she’d been carrying. Most of the books on the ground are hers.

“Alchemy, huh?” I ask with a smile as I levitate her things up towards her. “Never thought about looking into that before. Is it interesting?”

She looks taken aback when I say it. I don’t know if I’m supposed to have recognized her, or if she too has been thrown for a loop by the voice that doesn’t exactly match the body, but she looks genuinely startled. Hurray for shattering expectations, right?

“Why, yes,” she says, her accent reminding me of somepony I’ve met. Can’t quite put my hoof on it, mind you. “The magical properties of plants and minerals can have countless effects, and despite the historical bottleneck in innovation, I believe it to be a largely untapped resource.”

I smile, recognizing the tone of passion. When I used to write back home, I’d speak of it with the same verve. This is somepony truly interested in what she is talking about. Hell, she’s a bit stiff, but she’d probably fit right in with Twilight.

Even as I gather up my own belongings and return them to my bag, however, Strongwind and Evening stiffly approach. To my surprise, the both bow ever so casually that you might not even have seen it if you weren’t looking for the motion.

Am I in trouble now?

“Princess Aqua Regia,” Evening says, taking position to the left of the mare. “Does your brother know that you are out of the compound without an escort?”

The red mare—a princess?—flinches, and from my low-to-the-ground position, I can see her eyes widen with fear. “Brother needn’t know,” she says in a cold voice, her demeanor shifting, “Isn’t that right, guard?”

Eve nods. “We’ll escort you back to the compound, Your Highness.” I can just make out one of her fangs pinching her lip. Is she suppressing a grin or a scowl, though? “If the prince takes issue, tell him you were with us.”

“Sorry, Penny,” Strongwind whispers into my ear. “I know you’re tired, but bear with us. We’re obligated to help a member of the royal family, whether we like a particular branch or not.”

With a yawn, I take up the rear while Strong moves to the princess’s right side. I don’t particularly mind the remainder of my free day taking a backseat to their jobs. After all, I was pretty much done in the city. If I only have to follow and keep quiet, all the better.

So off we go, worming our way back through the districts of Canterlot. At least they all seem to know exactly where they’re going. Without a map and a compass, I’d probably end up outside one of the foreign embassies again.

Looking at the mare I’d run into, this Aqua Regia, I can’t help but feel I should know who she is. Some weird sense of deja vu... The guards called her a princess, but I don’t think I’ve seen her in or around the castle in the months I’ve spent on the grounds. Does she have her own castle or... No, wait; they said she was outside the compound without an escort. That would make it more likely that it’s more of an estate or small fort.

Then there’s the mention of her brother. So far as I can tell, Shining Armor is only a prince-consort with no other siblings, and there aren’t too many Equestrian princes. It’s possible that she’s part of a diplomatic party from, say, Saddle Arabia, but her Canterlot accent makes it highly unlikely. That means that she’s probably Blueblood’s sister.

If I take the prince’s offer—something I’m seriously considering if I come back—I’d probably be working under her at some point. But would that be any good? Like I said before, she seems kinda stiff. Hell, she’s terrible at pretending not to be noble. Chin in the air, an aura of “I’m so much better than you...”

Nah, can’t be thinking about someone I just met like that. Prejudging someone is an ideal way to get on the wrong side of things. Fuck knows, I’m guilty enough of doing that at times. I oughta take advantage of this and turn over a new leaf.

Once we cross into the district I’d like to imagine is called Nobletown—so many expensive houses and manors!—things start to get interesting. The moment we pass the mouth of an alley, I’m shoved roughly to the ground, my coin-purse torn from the strap of my rucksack. A pained groan escapes my lips the rucksack shifts and I land on a hardcover’s spine.

At the same moment, a startled shout comes from Aqua Regia. When I look up, I see a pair of hooded figures making off. One has my money, while the other has Aqua Regia’s stack of alchemy books; both are unicorns and they’re headed back in the direction we came from.

“After them, you dolts!” she bellows at the top of her lungs. “Those are my belongings!”

“It’s your call,” Strong says to Eve, cringing at the loudness of our noble hitchhiker. “Procedure says we should get the VIP somewhere safe before pursuing, but this seems like it should be a milk run.”

The bat pony doesn’t seem convinced. She glances over her shoulder and looks at me from the corner off her eye. “And her?”

He seems to mull this over as I pull myself back onto my hooves. Biting his lip, he grumbles, “Between that dark mind of hers, her new toy, and that willful disregard for her own wellbeing, I think we can trust her to get her highness to the compound.”

Evening sighs and crouches down in front of me. “Penny, I need you to go with Princess Aqua Regia and make sure she gets back to the Blueblood family estate safely. If there’s trouble, run if you can, but if you can’t—”

The red unicorn in question huffs. “I shall wait exactly where I stand until my belongings are returned.”

I tilt my head in the direction of the fleeing perps. “Go on. I’ll stand watch. Anything dumb enough to think she’s unguarded has another thing coming.”

~ 8 ~

Watching from a wall beside the alley mouth, I can’t help but wonder if this princess is all there. For the last ten or so minutes, she’s been pacing back and forth in the middle of the lane, and she doesn’t look like she’s ready to stop any time soon. Worse, I think she’s talking to herself.

Other ponies are taking notice of the crazy mare in the middle of the road, too. It seems like every time I look, there are fewer around. Is she scaring the locals that badly?

Ugh, and I’m so tired, too. It seems like all of the energy I have left is going into keeping my eyes open. But that’s weird, because I was fine when I was walking. It wasn’t until I was shoved to the ground...

“Would Her Highness prefer to remain in the middle of the lane—” And spooking the locals. “—or would she prefer to wait in the shade of a wall? That cloak looks kind of warm.”

She gets this indignant look about her when I speak directly to her, in spite of how polite I’m being. It’s like, bitch, you might’ve been born with a silver spoon up your butt, but I don’t have to respect you! Aqua just keeps pacing, in spite of me.

After a few more iterations of her march, though, she does stop and join me in the shade of a wall. She doesn’t look happy about it, but hey, at least the now empty street can rest easy. No princesses will wear a groove in the lane on my watch.

An empty lane...

It’s almost like the princess’s eyes are boring a hole into me. Is she assessing me? Or does she have something to say? Either way, she was probably not taught as a foal that staring is rude.

Why is this street so empty and quiet?

I look around and frown. It’s getting darker than it should be at this time of day, and there’s not a cloud in the sky, either. Something’s not...

Channeling a telekinesis spell, I open up the pack beside me and remove my hammer. It’s kind of alarming how difficult it is just to lift the fucking thing. Even with how drained I am, the hammer isn’t that heavy. It’s almost like there’s interference. The hammer is quickly tucked behind the bag, but I don’t release it. Not yet.

Shutting my eyes, I open my senses to the ambient magic around me. Much to my surprise, it resists. It’s not like there’s not a bunch of free magic around us, but it’s actively fighting my attempts at a read. Worse, it’s like there’s a pressure against my horn.

Is this what casting in the Everfree will be like? I wonder, gritting my teeth. That’s fine. Bring it on!

Reaching out with a bit of my own magic, I snag a bit of local energy and begin to pull it back in through my horn. Casting the mix back out and reeling it in again a few times, I catch something else. Something foreign.

Almost immediately, a wave of revulsion washes over me. Fuck, it’s like that frozen turkey that was left out for a month... only in my brain! Whatever this foreign magic is, it’s so... wrong.

It’s an uphill battle, trying to work that magic through my system. Soon, the pressure lessens, and I’m able to actively reach out to the area around me. What I sense makes me frown.

This magic, so unlike anything I’ve yet experienced, is blanketing the area something fiercely, but it’s not just in the air. It’s in me, and it’s in the princess, especially our heads. Around us, I only catch indistinct eddies through the area, as if something’s moving through the magic.

And the magic is concentrated in our eyes and ears. The hell? What kind of magic targets the senses while also blanketing an area? An illusion spell?

There’s something else out there, though. In the middle of a lane, there’s a shape: a pegasus stallion. I’ve been around him enough to know what he feels like with magic to know that it is Strongwind...

Fuck, how could I’ve been so stupid? Those two would never leave me and a VIP like her unguarded. There must’ve been some mind magic in play, too.

He too is chock full of the wrongness, but it’s practically highlighting his every bone. Rooted to the spot, paralyzed... how much must that hurt? Your muscles strain, but you can no sooner move than you could allow your skeleton to leap from your skin.

“Princess,” I whisper, pulling on the magic concentrated in her eyes and ears. “We’re under a spell. I need you to remain calm.”

Ideally, this is advice I should be taking to heart. Instead, I just keep reaching out, feeling blindly with magic sense. That said, a lot of the energy I’ve been pulling in I’ve started channeling as telekinetic pressure against the surface of my hammer. I don’t even know if that part of the enchantment works this way, but I need to do something to get this magic out of me.

Aqua looks at me aghast. “Is that why the road is so empty and quiet?” she asks. “Is that why those two guards just left us here?”

With a growl, I pound my hoof against a paving stone and a stack of books appears in the middle of the lane, beside where Strong stands. Similarly, my coin pouch appears on the strap of my bag.

“Strongwind never left.” She stiffens at the appearance of her books. “We were all hit with a powerful illusion, and possibly a suggestion spell as well. Strong’s right there in the lane by your books, unable to move or be seen.” With a sigh, I add, “We all got played.”

“What should we do,” she asks, a tremor in her voice. “Miss...?”

Unable to contain my frustration, I am unable to prevent myself from barking my response. “You ask now of all times?” At my own tone, I flinch. “Sorry, you don’t deserve that. Silver Penny is my name, and chaos is my playground.”

Ignoring Strongwind for the time being, I put my focus into finding the mage responsible for this. For a spell this overpowering and dense, the range would be incredibly short, due to the inverse proportionality between spell strength and range that most magic relies on. The caster would have to be somewhere nearby.

Giggling floats to my ears from the alley, saving me the need to start forcing what little magic I have left through walls. Instead, I turn all of my commandeered magic through the alley mouth. Sure enough, someone’s there. Go figure.

“How long are you gonna stand there, ya daft cunt?” I bellow in the direction of the opening. “You’re either here to capture her or kill her, so why play games?”

“How curious,” the unseen caster says. The voice is feminine, although it seems off. It’s not hard to track them once I know what to look for, so it’s easy to feel them move to the edge of the road. “Even though neither of you should be able to see me, you still found me out—and rather easily, too. Quite the pet House Blueblood has acquired, dear princess. Come quietly, and perhaps I shall let you keep her.”

Shit! Of course they’d want her alive. Hissing through clenched teeth, I glance at the princess. Her face is a mask of panic, and it’s not hard to imagine that she’s probably thinking of all the unpleasant things that might happen to her.

I boasted that chaos is my playground, so I guess it’s time to put my bits where my mouth is. What can one exhausted unicorn with a bag and a hammer do, though? Hmm...

“I suggest we do as she says, Your Highness,” I state with a yawn. I might be over acting it a bit, but I am knackered. Releasing all of the foreign magic from my system, I sag against the wall slightly. “She doesn’t seem to want a fight any more than I do, or else she could’ve killed me at any time.”

Aqua Regia gapes at me, but says nothing.

“So good that you are an agreeable pet,” comes the foreign voice as... Evening Script appears on the spot I tracked the caster to. A changeling? Is it working for someone, or does Chrysalis have a use for this princess? “Worry not, dear princess. No harm will come to you if you behave. Now come along.”

I levitate my bag and hammer at equal height as I watch the Eve impostor pass by me. She doesn’t even look twice as I rise and follow, keeping the bag between her and the hammer. No, you’re not going to get another princess to impersonate, and you’re not going to hand her off to anyone.

“Fucking amateur,” I mutter as I drop the bag and send the hammer in a high arc toward the changeling parading around as my friend. “Surprise, motherfucker!”

The hammer slams down into ‘Eve’s’ back. A bright flash comes from the hammer on impact, and the faux bat pony collapses to the ground. Paving stones shatter and a crater forms beneath her.

A line of green flame shimmers down the changeling’s form as it reverts to its natural, chitinous form. All around its midsection, particularly in the crushed section of chitin on its back, a viscous green fluid oozes out, creating a macabre scene to be sure.

Satisfied that my work is done, I pull my hammer—still dripping a viscous green liquid—back to me. My magic runs out just in time to drop the hammer into my outstretched hooves. As heavy as it is, I topple to the ground, cradling it.

A tired laugh escapes my mouth as all the day’s energy expenditure washes over me. I look dizzily over to the horror-struck princess with a smirk. “Ooops,” I murmur as the world around me brightens. I hug my hammer close and begin to roll around. “Bug horse go squish!”

A groan from nearby draws my attention. Without ceasing my antics, I look in that direction to see Strongwind rubbing his head. “Ugh, what in Equestria happ—” He looks down at the most-likely-dead changeling, and then looks at me. “Well then...”

After a moment of silence, a crowd begins to form. Nobles, couriers and the like all begin to ask questions. ‘Is it dead?’ ‘Is there another invasion?’ ‘Are we safe?’ At least two ponies run off screaming for guards.

Finally, the red princess snaps out of her shock and approaches Strongwind. “Is she alright?” she asks, throwing a furtive glance in my direction.

There’s no answer from Strong; he’s too busy staring at the changeling. “I think she killed it,” he mutters just loud enough for me to hear. “If she okay now, she won’t be later.”

He gives Aqua an apologetic look. “I’d hate to impose on you, Your Highness, but could you put her on my back?” Again, he glances at me with worry. “We should get you and her somewhere safe before the gravity of what just happened kicks in.”

I go limp as something seizes me by the back of my neck. Even if it wasn’t an instinctual response, I’m still cognizant enough to recognize that if I’m getting a ride, I can’t roll around. In the blink of an eye, I’m seated on his back. I don’t let go of the hammer, though. Oh no. This is mine! You can’t have it!

The real Evening Script touches down as a group of Royal Guards push through the crowd. My eyes are drawn to the changeling as the guards surround it. Its legs are—were—longer than that of an average pony, and its body leaner. There’s what looks like hair, but overall looks to be more fin-like in nature. The horn is curved and short. Not just a drone, but sure as hell not the queen.

Evening Script takes in the scene—me on Strong’s back with my hammer, a horrified princess, and the dead changeling—and frowns. “Would’ve been nice if ye’d left it alive,” she says, looking straight at me. “Not often we get a chance at interrogating one of Chrysalis’s infiltrators.”

She grabs my rucksack with her teeth and joins us. “Nothing for it, I suppose.” Looking to Strongwind, she adds, “And I want a full report on the incident on Sergeant Revelry’s desk by morning.”

Author's Note

Lampshades are hung, and lo and behold, I couldn’t keep the chief antagonist of the Alchemist’s Heart from coming back.

As much as I want to hate Aqua, and God knows I turned her into a monster, my biggest regret is that I did such a poor job of fleshing out her character. This time around, I wanna actually touch on some of the emotional problems I gave her but never touched on. More, though, I wanna give her a chance at redemption. Not a popular choice, but with the way this Silver was planned to turn out, I figure she’ll make a good foil for Penny and she’ll have a chance for actual