How Twilight's Innocence Was Lost: Clopfics
Clopfics.... They Scarred Me!!
Clopfics. What are they? Weren't we all curious at one stage of our lives?
It was a quiet day in the Castle of Friendship. No Starlight constantly showing off her magical skills, no Spike fluttering about the house and practicing his flying skills, and forever breaking many items. It was empty. Twilight sighed in happiness, reclining back in one of her plush chairs, allowing her to relax. It has been a long while since she was able to relax, for the fact of how she was a head mare of her School of Friendship, and how she was the main pony who created all of the lesson plans.
Twilight felt herself drift away into a peaceful slumber when suddenly her Apple 7C began to ring. In an instant, the room was filed with the song 'Flawless' that she And the girls sang back in Season 7: Fame and Misfortune. Ah,that was the good old days. Everything was rated PG. No dirty stuff, no violence, just ponies. Wait, all of that stuff was already there. Oh, I'm talking about the show. Oh crap, I'm getting off topic.
Twilight moaned before igniting her horn and levitating the device towards her. She looked at the screen and saw that it was one of her friends, Pinkie Pie. She sighed,as she began to wander what she was calling about. With Pinkie, it could be anything. Anyway, without starting the list of Pinkie Pie Questions, Twilight answered the call.
"Hello Pinkie," the alicorn spoke through gritted teeth.
"Hey Twi," she said, causing Twilight to roll her eyes in annoyance. " i just wanted to ask you, what is a clopfic? "
Twilight sat up, as she tilted her head in sheer confusion.
"A clopwah?" she asked
" a clopfic" Pinkie replied. "I just remembered that when I was working today, I heard Lyra and Bon-Bon talking about them. But, when I went to go and asked, they said I should go to you, since ya know. Your an eggy-egghead! ".
Twilight then slapped her head using her hoof. She then cleared her throat.
" Pinkie, two things here girl. First, I am not eggy-egghead. I'm fact, I don't even think that's a real word. Second,I have never heard of this 'clopfic' until you mentioned it. Maybe I should just ask Princess Celestia about this. She knows everything.'
"Okie-dokie-lokie!" Pinkie said, before hanging up,leaving a curious Twilight.
Twilight looked at the ceiling, wondering what she should do. On one hoof, she was itching to search the internet, but on the other hoof,she was scared, unable to picture in her mind what it could be. Try as she might, Twilight's curiosity got the better of her.
The alicorn took a deep breath before levitating her laptop towards her. It was a gift that was given to her from her dear friend Sunset Shimmer, who was from the Equestria Girls series. It was lavender with a large imprint of her cutie mark pasted on the front. She opened the top as she began to set it up. Within mere seconds, the laptop was up and running. She slowly moved the small cursor/hoof over to the Google Chrome icon that was place in the top right corner. Once the app successfully opened up, she began to type in the search bar.
Clopfics
Less than a second later, the screen was flooded with results. All of them leading to a website called FimFiction.net . One of the stories that showed up was one called 'More Than Just A Game ' which was written by a pony called Lance Skyes. She looked at it, as she made up her mind. She clicked on the pink and was instantly transported into the page where her answered laid.
"But that's impossible!He's the best gamer pony around!"
"That's why I never let Spike take his JoyBoy to bed!"
"What's Sweetie Belle up to?"
"S-she's way to young for this!"
"Eeeewwwww!"
"What's that supposed to mean!"
"I think it's time to drink some bleach."
"And then I said, 'Oatmeal, are you crazy?'" Spike said, causing Starlight to burst into peals of laughter. Spike joined in but soon stopped as they saw the horrible sight that laid before them. I'm the centre of the room, laid a Twilight that was not yet witnessed by anypony on the outside (and yes I'm talking about the actual ponies not the bronies. There's a ton of fanart on this. I see them!).
The alicorn had a look of pure terror in her eyes that burnt as bright as a fire. Her name was a complete mess, as it no more but a random Fluffle Puff clone that was never groomed. Her name colour was normal! It was frazzled. The pair looked around the room and saw that all of the books that w was once nearly stacked upon the high shelves in alphabetical order as well as categorised in subjects, genres, and ect. was scattered around the large library, making the place look like a bomb was set off inside.
"Twilight," Starlight spoke in a soft, motherly tone of voice as she trotted towards her scared friend. "Do you mins telling me what in Celestia's glorious fat flank happened in here?"
Twilight was unable to speak, so the only thing she could do was point a purple hoof in the direction of the laptop, which was still open. Starlight got up and walked over towards it. Luckily, it was still left open to the page of the story. Starlight read it, managing to keep a straight face the whole time, even when it got up to the exciting parts.
"Twilight, I think your overreacting," she said once done . "So what? After gaming for a bit, Button and Sweetie sleep with each other. It's not bad."
"But you don't understand, Starlight, " the insane mare started. "Your not like me. You read spell books. I read chapter books. You just have to follow some instructions. I have to use my imagination. I had to picture it in my mind! So I practically watched them doing it. I saw the situation unfold right before my very eyes. This. T-t-this story has mentally scarred me. for life."
Starlight rolled her eyes as she walked out of the library.
"Spiiiiiike!" She yelled out at him. " Where's the shovel? I need to hear the shit outta Twilight! "
Author's Note
It's like what 4 am? Just like, wow.
Stupid story from a stupid writer! And remember kids, Clopfics can scar you
FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
