Royal Guard Academy

Tempest had no idea what Eagle was planning. But she stood, meeting her eyes just as strongly, asking, “Yes, ma’am?”

Eagle walked toward her, circling her slowly as she spoke. Sizing her up. “I was very interested in your application. A mare more than a decade the senior of most of my trainees? Who has already served in a prominent command position over hundreds of troops? Who singlehoofedly incapacitated three alicorn princesses and captured a fourth? Who possesses powerful magic and has the endorsement of Princess Celestia herself? Who likely fears no creature from this world or beyond? Who I haven’t seen fazed by a single thing any TI has done since you got here? What in Equestria could I possibly have left to teach you?” She stopped in front of her, standing on the tips of her hooves to look into Tempest’s eyes, demanding an answer.

Tempest looked back calmly. “Well ma’am, the marching and singing is new to me.”

The others laughed, before a fast glare from Eagle stopped them. She looked back at Tempest. “You’re fearless. What can I possibly do to keep you in line?”

“You don’t need to keep me in line. I’ll keep me in line. I want this. I want to serve Equestria as a royal guard and I will work hard to make it through the academy.”

Eagle seemed torn between looking impressed and irritated. “Is this how you’re going to speak to me the whole time you’re here? Without reporting statements, without even a ma’am?”

“Sorry, ma’am. I just don’t like to mince words. I say what I feel. I will admit to needing to learn Equestrian military courtesies.”

“You sure do. But I admire that you don’t waste time and you say what you mean. I think I can accept the way you talk to me, but only once you’ve earned it. Prove you deserve for me to see you as an equal. Because until you put on some kind of rank, I’m a major, and you’re at the bottom of the totem pole. Less than even a butter bar lieutenant. And always always use reporting statements outside this dorm room and with the other instructors. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Tempest replied.

“Good. I get the feeling you’re going to be one of the most interesting officers I’ve ever trained. So then, you’re going to be part of latrine crew. But we can’t let your years of commanding experience go to waste. Oh no. I need to put you in a position where you can flex some power over the others. So.” Eagle smirked. “Trainee Tempest Shadow, you will not just be latrine crew, you will be latrine queen!”

This time when the rest of the mares laughed, Eagle didn’t stop them. She waited for them to quiet down, then explained the role to Tempest.

“The latrine queen tells everypony else on latrine crew what to do. You can give them all a permanent job, or switch things up from day to day. You’ll make sure they all do their job well. And you get to give yourself whatever task you like best, how about that. There will be plenty to do. Mirrors polished, sinks and toilets cleaned, hair pulled out of the shower drains, all sorts of fun! You up for it?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Great! Don’t let the power go to your head. Go ahead and relax, I gotta talk to all of you now.”

Tempest sat, and Eagle began pacing down the center of the bay as she further explained all the different details. She listened closely to all the tasks of latrine crew in particular. Apparently it tended to take a little longer than the rest. And in fact, while the entire flight worked together in the evenings to clean the bay, latrine crew was typically sent in to get started early and their bed areas were covered by the others.

“But today will be an exception,” Eagle said. “Today you will all do it, because you all should know how it’s done. Hm, this first one will be fun, because I bet none of you brought lint rollers.”

They glanced at each other, a few lost ponies murmuring, “Lint rollers…?”

A single mare, Mudslide, silently opened her security drawer and took out a lint roller.

Eagle laughed. “I’ll be damned. Good on you, Trainee Mudslide. Got any parents in the service?”

“Yes, ma’am, both my parents are,” she replied.

“Oh yes, I bet they taught you all the tips and tricks. I’ll be watching you. Well then the rest of you are screwed until tomorrow. I’ll take utility crew down to grab rags and you can use those for now. But basically we’ll be dusting everything. The floor around and under your beds, the wall lockers, yes even the top, the chairs. Now you see where a lint roller comes in handy? Oh, Mudslide seems to have something to say.”

Mudslide stood. “Ma’am, will we also be able to turn off the lights and use our flashlights to highlight the dust?”

Eagle strolled over to her and clapped her so hard on the shoulder they were surprised her knees didn’t buckle. “Trainee Mudslide, you fucking genius. We absolutely can do that. But save a little work for the other trainees, eh? We want them to find all the little tricks too.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Mudslide said with the barest hint of a smile.

Eagle walked back to the aisle. “But don’t try life hacking everything just yet. That’s how the kids say it, right? Life hacking? Anyway! We’ll do things by the books, and once you prove you can follow instructions, you can start improvising. Now, you all just hang tight for a bit. Wonder twins, get over here.”

“Yes, ma’am,” they said, hurrying over to her in perfect step with each other.

“Y’all freak me out. Follow me, we’re going on an adventure down to the supply room.” Eagle led them out, but paused at the door to the dorm room, shouting back, “Ruby, you’re my temporary chief! Don’t let any of these bozos leave!”

Ruby jumped, ears flattening when the others turned to look at her. “Y-yes, ma’am!” she yelled.

Eagle took the twins out and the door slammed and locked.

Ruby sighed. “Why me.”

“I know,” Calli scoffed. “You’re like, the smallest here, you couldn’t stop any of us.”

Ruby hunched down nervously. “Well, I um…”

Tempest went to stand next to her. “But I can.”

“Oh please, edgelord, don’t get a big head just because Celestia got you here,” Calli replied.

“Hey, the position of edgelord in this dorm belongs to me alone,” Nightshade said from her chair in the corner, where she was already lounging.

Calli rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Blightshade.”

Nightshade got to her hooves. “What did you just call me?”

“Girls, holy fuck!” Tempest shouted. They all froze. “We’ve literally been here a day, stop fighting! We’re going to be dealing with each other for ten straight weeks! I think we all can agree that we want it to be as painless as possible! So get your shit together, and stop the drama! We are not in high school!”

Calli stuck her nose up. “Hmph.” She went to sit down on her chair, crossing her forelegs.

“Thank you, Tempest,” Ruby said shyly.

“No problem. I’ve broken up a lot of spats over the years. Disagreements between troops only weakens us.”

“I don’t know man, disagreements might help us find a better solution or something?” Storm said from where she was laying on her back on her bed.

“Man get your ass off that bed,” Tempest said. “You heard Major Eagle, we only lay in bed when it’s lights out.”

Storm sighed but hopped up. “Sorry but that penicillin shot hurts.”

“Lay on the floor then.”

“Don’t mind if I do.”

Tempest continued, “But you’re right. We shouldn’t all agree all the time. We should be open to discussing things and finding the best course of action. But I don’t think we’ll get to do that much right now. We’re in training. We’ll just need to do what we’re told, and deal with stuff we don’t like.”

“There she goes, commanding again, Major Eagle should just go home and let you instruct us,” Calli muttered.

“Did you guys hear something?” Tempest asked. “Hm, must have been a draft, because if someone was talking I’m sure they would have enunciated.”

Calli got to her hooves, starting across the room. “Why you-” She immediately plowed into Blizzard’s chest. The big unicorn had swiftly gotten between her and Tempest.

Calli started to growl at her, but Blizzard’s horn lit up with a cold blue magic and the smaller unicorn was lifted off the ground. She struggled, her own horn sparking with white magic as she tried to cancel out the levitation, but she jerked as her magic was overpowered.

The temperature in the room dropped significantly, making many of the others shiver.

“You need to learn to control your temper,” Blizzard said sternly.

Calli struggled. “What is wrong with you? Put me down!”

“She acted in defense of Tempest,” Sword said. “Her actions are honorable. Apologize.”

“Ugh! Sorry!” Calli spat.

Blizzard suddenly dropped her, and she yelped as she fell onto her rump, making her penicillin injection site sear with pain.

“I’m not the one you should apologize to,” Blizzard said, stepping aside. “Apologize to Tempest.”

Tempest raised a brow as Calli stood and looked at her. “Sorry,” she said shortly.

“Apology accepted,” Tempest said with a shrug. “Though you should thank Blizzard. I would have wasted you. Which would have sucked for both of us because I’d probably get kicked out.”

“Ugh, so arrogant.”

“Right back at you.”

Calli walked away. Tempest let her go, whistling.

“Day 1, how exciting,” she commented. The others chuckled.

“This is fun, I’m having a fun time,” Fizzy remarked.

They heard the door unlock, and then Eagle was coming into the bay. They saw the twins continue walking, carrying stuff into what they assumed was the utility room.

Eagle started to speak, then looked around at all of them, Calli still sour-faced, Tempest standing tall, Blizzard protectively standing near her, and the other trainees generally looking tense.

Eagle laughed. “Oh I know those looks. You already argued with each other about something, didn’t you! And on the first real day! That might be a record. Aw, they grow up real fast.” Her expression changed from amused to stern in a second, head snapping toward Ruby. “Trainee Ruby. What happened while I was gone?”

Ruby stood at attention. “Ma’am, Trainee Ruby Luster reports as ordered. There was a small argument.” At scoffs from the others, she corrected, “Well ma’am, it escalated. After you left, Trainee Calli said that I was the smallest and couldn’t stop anypony from leaving. Tempest backed me up and said she could. Um, Calli called her an edgelord.”

Tempest’s mouth twitched, and when Eagle glanced at her, she nodded in confirmation.

“Go on, Ruby,” Eagle said.

“Yes, ma’am. Nightshade, I guess maybe trying to defuse things, said she’s the only edgelord in the dorm.”

The other trainees were trying not to laugh. Nightshade shrugged at Eagle’s exasperated look. “Sorry, ma’am. I thought some humor would lighten things but Calli seemed annoyed by it.”

“Well, yeah,” Calli scowled.

“Quiet Calli, I’ll hear your side in a moment,” Eagle ordered. “What else, Ruby? I doubt that was it.”

“No ma’am, there’s more. Calli called Nightshade ‘Blightshade’, and Nightshade got mad and got up, about to argue with her. Then Tempest stepped in and… well, she yelled. She was a bit profane, but she basically told us all to stop fighting, we’re going to be near each other for ten weeks so we shouldn’t make it harder, and to stop the drama because this isn’t high school.”

It was clear that it was only years of experience keeping Eagle’s military bearing in place.

“Oh Celestia,” she said. “Well? Did Tempest’s speech settle things?”

“Unfortunately, no.”

“Of course it didn’t.”

Ruby summarized the rest. Tempest explaining that disagreements weaken troops, and discussing with Storm that well, some disagreements can be good, but there was no place for it in training. Calli’s irritation with Tempest being so commanding, and Tempest subsequently telling her off. The fight that was stopped by Blizzard’s quick action.

Ruby hesitated then, and Eagle said, “What is it, what happened when Calli yelled at Blizzard?”

“I… ma’am, I don’t wanna get Blizzard in trouble, she really was just trying to protect Tempest, but she got a little… firm with Calli…”

“That’s noble but I’ll be the only decider of punishments here. Tell the truth.”

“Yes, ma’am. So…” Ruby sighed, then said, “Blizzard used her magic to pick Calli up, and told her she needed to control her temper. The air got really cold and Calli couldn’t get away from her, so she apologized, and Blizzard dropped her and told her to apologize to Tempest. Calli did. Tempest said that was good because she would have um… wasted her. Exact words.”

Tempest looked down, mildly embarrassed. She hadn’t exactly behaved well either.

“I see. Anything else?”

“Calli called her arrogant and walked away. Tempest said she was too. After that we were just kinda quiet until you came in.”

“I said this was a fun time,” Fizzy said unhelpfully.

Eagle was silent for a bit, just thinking that all over. Then she gave a pained groan. “This is why I go to therapy. Okay. Trainee Calli, get your asinine flank over here.”

Calli swallowed and walked over to her.

Eagle set a hoof on her shoulder. “Calli. What the hell.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” Calli replied. “I just thought Tempest was coming across as cocky so I wanted to knock her down a peg.”

“Would you say you have a temper? Be honest, integrity is important in the Guard.”

“Ma’am, I… have been told I have a bad temper. But I was hoping I could learn to handle it in the Guard.”

It took everything Tempest had not to respond to that. She’s probably grown up hearing it and dismissing it. She carried the attitude of the Canterlot elite. She had visible earring holes and the hint of old make-up on her eyelids. She had been perfectly smug earlier. She was just sucking up now to try not to get in trouble. Tempest seriously hoped Eagle wasn’t fooled.

Eagle sighed and dropped her hoof. “It’s your first day. You’re all frustrated and tensions are high with all these conflicting viewpoints. So you know what? I’m letting you off with a warning. But all of you better get the hell over yourselves! None of you are better than the others! You’re all equally foolish and incompetent as guards, as evidenced by your behavior here! Get on your faces!”

Yep, Tempest saw that coming. She dropped, the others hastily following.

“Push-up positions! Down, up! One! Down, up! Two! Hey, Calli, you’re to blame for this, move it! Down, up, three!”

Calli collapsed on the floor.

“Are you kidding me?” Eagle turned to Tempest and barked, “Keep leading the others while I deal with this.”

“Down, up!” Tempest took over. “Four!” Exercise as punishment. Some things were universal.

“Calli, do you want to be in the Royal Guard?” Eagle demanded.

“Yes, ma’am,” she gasped.

“Do you? Because you don’t look like you do! Royal guards don’t lay on the floor! Royal guards can do more than three damn push-ups! You better get your ass in the air! The longer you stay down there, the longer your fellow trainees have to suffer!”

“Down, up,” Tempest continued. The rest of them were at ten now and a few ponies were faltering too, but Eagle’s attention wasn’t on them. They were pretty much all looking at Calli.

Eagle looked around the room, and those who were resting hurriedly got back to it. “Come on mares, encourage your buddy!”

“Calli, come on!” they started yelling, interspersed with Tempest leading their pace.

Eagle got down right in front of Calli, throwing her helmet aside and staring at her. She pounded a front hoof against the floor. “I swear to Celestia, Calli I better see some effort!”

“I’m trying!” Calli cried, forelegs trembling as she tried to push her body up. Her back hooves scrambled as she tried not to use them to help her.

“Keep those back hooves planted! Flat on the floor, stretched back, one foot apart! You aren’t trying, you’re failing!”

Calli actually sobbed as she still couldn’t manage to do it. Her entire body was shaking with effort.

Tempest knew she shouldn’t be entertained, but she was. This was the best kind of karma. She could admit that she still had a sadistic streak.

“Everypony rest!” Eagle screamed. They all gladly fell to their stomachs, panting and wiping sweat from their foreheads.

Calli trembled as she laid on the floor, her mane in messy tangles around her face. Her cheeks were bright red with humiliation and there were tears in her eyes.

“This isn’t gym class,” Eagle hissed to her. “You can’t just do whatever and pass. You will get fit, and you will learn to behave appropriately in my dorm room. Do I make myself clear?”

“Y-yes, ma’am,” she replied, voice unsteady.

“Good. Now get up and go to the latrine, you look like you need to wash your face off.”

Calli nodded and sprinted out. They heard the door to the latrine slam, but not before they heard her let out a sob.

Eagle stood and pulled her helmet back on. “There’s always some overconfident pony thinking that just because they were popular in school, they can rule the dorm. Not on my watch. I stomp out that nonsense as soon as I see it.” She looked around as the others got up, panting and generally looking tired and annoyed. “You don’t look happy. But don’t blame me. You all know who was responsible.”

“I’m not blaming you, ma’am,” Ruby said meekly. A few others echoed the sentiment.

“Mm, okay. I really don’t like making you stink right after showering. Oh well. If you would come with me over to the utility room, we can get started on cleaning the bay, and then I’ll release you to your details.”

They got to cleaning in silence. After a few minutes, Calli came in and joined without a word. Tempest frowned as she looked her way. Maybe she was a jerk, but everyone deserved a chance to improve. She hoped Calli learned from this. She wanted to see her succeed too.

Tempest crawled under her bed to get after some dust bunnies. She couldn’t wait for bedtime.